What Kind Of Girl?
Frank Zappa Lyrics


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Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike Willis (guitar, vocals)
Mike Keneally (guitar, synthesizer, vocals)
Bobby Martin (keyboards, vocals)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Walt Fowler (trumpet)
Bruce Fowler (trombone)
Paul Carman (alto saxophone)
Albert Wing (tenor saxophone)
Kurt McGettrick (baritone saxophone)
Scott Thunes (bass)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Eric Buxton (vocals)

What's a girl like you
Doin' in a Motel like this?


"I left my place after midnight,
When I first got the call...
The escort service I work for
Said you wanted it ALL!"


Well, you came to the right place -- this is it!
I got the most sanctified johnson in all 'o Louisiana!
No shit!


"How true that is!"


How true, indeed Llama!


"The other whores at the service said
You helped fulfull their need!
I like to get right down...
Do you like to get right down too?"


Well, what did you have in mind?


"Well, I get off being spoo-ed upon
By hypocritical TV Evangelists
With close ties to the Republican Party,
While Ed Meese wipes his ass
On the U.S. Constitution, screamin'...


'I don't think so --
Can't remember --
I just could never do that --'"


That gets me so hot I could scream:
'Can't remember: don't remember who...
Wrote the memo, or to whom it's to...'


Your escort service is real far-out 'n groovy --
Ever been to the Texas Motel?
Let me take you dow-how-how-how-how-how-hownnnnn!


Magic Jesus by the bed,
Wall mounted TV screen,
My church plugged into the gravy train,
And Reagan keeps me clean!


What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would suck his rod?
What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would suck his rod?
(A lazy prostitute!)
We wouldn't blow you just because you know "GOD"!
What kind of girl?
What kind of girl would suck his rod?


This unfortunate little vixen wouldn't let just ANYBODY
Spoo all over her lap --




She wants an ignorant Cracker Evangelist
Who's reciting all that crapp...

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Frank Zappa's song "What Kind of Girl?" satirizes the hypocrisy of conservative religious leaders and politicians who preach morality and chastity but indulge in extramarital affairs and scandals behind closed doors. The singer of the song, a prostitute, is approached by a client who wants her to fulfill his fantasy of being spoo-ed upon by a "TV Evangelist with close ties to the Republican Party while Ed Meese wipes his ass on the U.S. Constitution." The lyrics suggest that the client is a conservative and religious person who opposes sexual promiscuity but secretly desires it. The prostitute seems to be aware of his hypocrisy and wants to expose it.


The song's use of vulgar language and sexual imagery is a characteristic of Frank Zappa's satirical style of music. The lyrics are meant to shock and provoke the listener into questioning the societal norms and values that promote such hypocrisy. The use of humor to criticize serious issues is a recurring theme in Zappa's music.


Line by Line Meaning

What's a girl like you Doin' in a Motel like this?
Why are you, a woman of character, in a shady motel like this?


"I left my place after midnight, When I first got the call... The escort service I work for Said you wanted it ALL!"
I work for an escort service, and they told me that you're looking for a full-service experience.


Well, you came to the right place -- this is it! I got the most sanctified johnson in all 'o Louisiana! No shit!
You're in the right place, honey! My private parts are considered to be very holy in Louisiana, I'm not kidding!


"How true that is!"
Yes, that's very true!


How true, indeed Llama!
Yes, that's absolutely true, my friend!


"The other whores at the service said You helped fulfull their need! I like to get right down... Do you like to get right down too?"
Other sex workers at the service said you've helped fulfill their sexual needs before. And, what do you like to do?


"Well, I get off being spoo-ed upon By hypocritical TV Evangelists With close ties to the Republican Party, While Ed Meese wipes his ass On the U.S. Constitution, screamin'... 'I don't think so -- Can't remember -- I just could never do that --'"
My kink is getting ejaculated on by hypocritical TV evangelists who are closely affiliated with the Republican Party, while Ed Meese symbolically disrespects the U.S. constitution, and denies wrongdoing when called out for his actions.


That gets me so hot I could scream: 'Can't remember: don't remember who... Wrote the memo, or to whom it's to...'
This really turns me on and I'm so aroused that I could scream. Particularly, when people deny responsibility and shift blame on others.


Your escort service is real far-out 'n groovy -- Ever been to the Texas Motel? Let me take you dow-how-how-how-how-how-hownnnnn!
Your escort service looks cool and interesting. Have you been at the Texas Motel? Let me take you there!


Magic Jesus by the bed, Wall mounted TV screen, My church plugged into the gravy train, And Reagan keeps me clean!
I have Jesus beside my bed, a TV screen on my wall, my church is financially backed, and my political alignments are just and clean as Reagan's.


What kind of girl? What kind of girl would suck his rod? What kind of girl? What kind of girl would suck his rod? (A lazy prostitute!) We wouldn't blow you just because you know "GOD"! What kind of girl? What kind of girl would suck his rod?
What kind of woman would perform oral sex on a repugnant hypocritical evangelist? Only a lazy prostitute would perform such an act. Moreover, we would never engage in any sexual act with you just because you know 'GOD'.


This unfortunate little vixen wouldn't let just ANYBODY Spoo all over her lap -- She wants an ignorant Cracker Evangelist Who's reciting all that crapp...
This girl won't let anyone ejaculate on her lap. She desires an ignorant white evangelical preacher who preaches about all the irrelevant topics.




Lyrics © OBO APRA/AMCOS

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