How To Save A Life
Fray Lyrics


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Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left, and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life





How to save a life
How to save a life

Overall Meaning

The Fray's "How To Save A Life" is an emotional song about the frustration of not being able to save someone from their own destructive behaviors. The lyrics speak to a situation where a friend is struggling with inner turmoil and the singer is at a loss for how to help. The opening lines set the scene of a conversation where the friend is being confronted by the singer, but both parties know that it might not lead to a resolution. The singer wonders where they went wrong and lost their friend along the way. The lyrics express the regret and guilt of not being able to prevent the friend's descent into bitterness and self-destructive behavior.


The song's chorus repeats the phrase "Where did I go wrong?" and shows how the singer is questioning themselves and their actions. They feel responsible for not being able to stop their friend from self-destructing. The lines "I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life" express the singer's willingness to help their friend if only they knew how to.


In the final verse, the friend lashes out, raising their voice in frustration. The singer tries to diffuse the situation by suggesting two possible routes - either the friend can continue on their current path or they can break away from destructive influences. The song ends with the singer still questioning where they went wrong and how they could have saved their friend's life.


Line by Line Meaning

Step one, you say we need to talk
The beginning of a conversation that must occur


He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk
A conversation that requires sitting down and being vulnerable


He smiles politely back at you
A positive response but with underlying pain


You stare politely right on through
The realization that something is not right


Some sort of window to your right
A way out but it's not taken


As he goes left, and you stay right
A separation of paths


Between the lines of fear and blame
Navigating between two difficult emotions


You begin to wonder why you came
Questioning if it was worth it


Where did I go wrong?
Reflecting on past mistakes


I lost a friend
Regret for not maintaining a relationship


Somewhere along in the bitterness
The point of no return


And I would have stayed up with you all night
Willing to put in the time and effort to save the relationship


Had I known how to save a life
Realizing the inability to save a friendship


Let him know that you know best
Arrogance and overconfidence in knowing what's best for the other person


Cause after all, you do know best
Repeating the false belief that you have all the answers


Try to slip past his defense
Attempt to break down the other person's walls


Without granting innocence
No excuses or absolving the other person of their mistakes


Lay down a list of what is wrong
Pointing out errors and flaws


The things you've told him all along
Repeating past mistakes


And pray to God he hears you
Hoping for a response or breakthrough


As he begins to raise his voice
A sign of tension reaching its peak


You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Deescalating the situation and offering an ultimatum


Drive until you lose the road
Leaving everything behind for a fresh start


Or break with the ones you've followed
Ending relationships with mutual acquaintances or friends


He will do one of two things
Anticipating the other person's response


He will admit to everything
Taking responsibility for their actions


Or he'll say he's just not the same
Revealing a deeper issue or underlying problem


And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Questioning the value of coming together in the first place


How to save a life
The overwhelming desire to save a relationship




Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: ISAAC SLADE, JOSEPH KING

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

@rflcptr2747

I know: At the very moment I'm writing these sentences, there are already 82,012 comments to this video. I might be too late, because no one ever will read this. But I have to do this. For my brother.

13 years ago, I was 17, my oldest brother just got 30. (Disclaimer: I was always the little brother, of course. Always too young to hang out with the friends of my older "cooler" brothers.)
But when I got 16/17 he accepted me as a real man. Brother. "semi-mature"-guy.
From 2005 to 2007 we did a lot of things together. He invited me to his home. When he did this the first time, it was one of the proudest moments of my life. Hanging out with the real dudes. Wow. You can't imagine how proud I felt. :)

In 2007 my brother had to go the doctor. He had breathing problems. Long story short:
He was diagnosed with lung cancer. Incurable. His lung cancer was so "rare", even doctors from the US (Hopkins Medicine School? I'm not really sure) wanted to analyze his illness. (I swear: This is no bragging. This is just the truth and extremely sad.)

He knew that he will die. We all knew. In the last months he made the best out of it. We both did. We played a lot of guitar and sang together. And so the circle is complete. :)

The last song we played together was this one here. We both sang. And I played the guitar.
I think we did it roundabout 25 times. We stopped because we had to smoke.
Yeah, he had lung cancer. He shouldn't smoke of course.
But in his last days he didn't care.

Nevertheless, after the last repetition of the song and when we smoked the last cigarrette: I cried as fuck. He didn't. He was so strong and happy that we shared these last "drunken moments" together.

We made the best of these last days. And now: After 13 years I can finally write about it.
I love you, my brother. And I will never forget you. I promise.

Jani, mach's gut. Ich liebe dich.

Please folks, I don't need a like/thumbsup/whatever.
But please dot it for my brother. So that maybe some other people will read this and give a little smile to my brother in heaven.

Love you!


And: Thank you, The Fray!


(Sorry: I'm not a native speaker. Here are definitely a lot of grammar/vocabulary fails in the text.)



@ArcadiaOccult

I'm so sorry sweet pea...

"Runes of comfort for the bereaved"
by Ralph Blum

"I am the life and the light and the way-
The Earth is my garden.
Each of the souls I plant as seeds germinate and flower in its own season, and in each I am fulfilled.
There is no cause for grief when a bloom fades but only rejoicing for the beauty it held and praise that my will is done and my plan served.
I am one with all creatures and none is ever lost, only restored unto me having never left my side at all.
For what is it mortal cannot be separated from its source.
I am with you all,
And each of you is a channel for my light.
Feel My Love enfold you now and forever more."



@xfrdn6273

LYRICS
Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left, and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
'Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you

And where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life



@syncerlymariee

Heres the lyrics:
Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left, and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
'Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you
And where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life



@youknowitsbosko2146

When I was in highschool my Mother was a huge Fray fan and got me hip instantly. We used to listen to this one in particular a lot. She had a habit of helping people, and it often took a lot out of her. I think this song sort helped her feel her way through the 'muck' so to speak. She had a lot of her own issues and I think helping others took the spotlight off of that. She knew how to save others, but couldn't seem to save herself. She drank a lot unfortuantely. As time went on, that grew into substance abuse, and eventually addiction. She still played this song a lot though, trying to remain positive.

Last year in April, the 5th, she lost that fight.

Things are different now. This song is different now. I still love it, but I find it very hard to listen to at times. I still have the memories, pictures, old voicemails I refuse to delete, but not her.

I keep going because I feel that I have to, for her. Some days are easy, some days are really, really, hard. I have lots of questions, lots of things to say that I will never get to. In time things will settle, life will return to normal, or whatever the new normal will be.

Now, this song has found me again, at a time where it seems I have to save my own life.

This ones for you Mom, and for me, and for anyone else struggling, for those worried about loved ones, whoever needs it.

Please keep going. <3



All comments from YouTube:

@colleenhairdwyer4711

My son killed himself almost 7 months ago. He battled depression and anxiety for over half his life. He was in counseling with both a psychiatrist and psychologist. He turned 20 the day before.
Please know that there are sadly some things that you cannot change.
Take care and talk to others.
Suicide is a horrible way to lose someone. It is so hard not to second guess everything. He clearly had friends that love him as you do.
The memories and love will be with you always. I hope you find comfort in that fact.
I’m going to listen to the song and release some sorrow before I have a friend come over.
Read all the words in the video. And follow them.

@So-jq9ll

Im so sorry to hear that😔

@cmorche

Colleen,

I'm so incredibly sorry for your unimaginable loss. I think we can all give and use a bit of love from each other, and if you feel comfortable talking about it with me over email or something, please don't hesitate to reach out.

My email is the first letter of my first name, and then my full last name followed by @gmail.com

Remember that he will always live on in your ❤️.

@emersonranes7715

Im losing myself, leaving alone and feel so alone. The battles within myself of surviving every day, the cries of the night and the hope of an helping hands. In the end I just feel numb after the struggles that I encounter. The problem is people tend to listen only and let you alone face it. Lucky for me my feet is standing still what I worry is how long I last.

@nathanbeaubrun6751

Big oof

@KitKat-wt6ed

@@emersonranes7715 me too ❤ Every day is a battle and I am sick of living with it. It's not really about others, though they don't get it, it's more around not being able to tolerate it anymore. I am right on the edge right now.

241 More Replies...

@rflcptr2747

I know: At the very moment I'm writing these sentences, there are already 82,012 comments to this video. I might be too late, because no one ever will read this. But I have to do this. For my brother.

13 years ago, I was 17, my oldest brother just got 30. (Disclaimer: I was always the little brother, of course. Always too young to hang out with the friends of my older "cooler" brothers.)
But when I got 16/17 he accepted me as a real man. Brother. "semi-mature"-guy.
From 2005 to 2007 we did a lot of things together. He invited me to his home. When he did this the first time, it was one of the proudest moments of my life. Hanging out with the real dudes. Wow. You can't imagine how proud I felt. :)

In 2007 my brother had to go the doctor. He had breathing problems. Long story short:
He was diagnosed with lung cancer. Incurable. His lung cancer was so "rare", even doctors from the US (Hopkins Medicine School? I'm not really sure) wanted to analyze his illness. (I swear: This is no bragging. This is just the truth and extremely sad.)

He knew that he will die. We all knew. In the last months he made the best out of it. We both did. We played a lot of guitar and sang together. And so the circle is complete. :)

The last song we played together was this one here. We both sang. And I played the guitar.
I think we did it roundabout 25 times. We stopped because we had to smoke.
Yeah, he had lung cancer. He shouldn't smoke of course.
But in his last days he didn't care.

Nevertheless, after the last repetition of the song and when we smoked the last cigarrette: I cried as fuck. He didn't. He was so strong and happy that we shared these last "drunken moments" together.

We made the best of these last days. And now: After 13 years I can finally write about it.
I love you, my brother. And I will never forget you. I promise.

Jani, mach's gut. Ich liebe dich.

Please folks, I don't need a like/thumbsup/whatever.
But please dot it for my brother. So that maybe some other people will read this and give a little smile to my brother in heaven.

Love you!


And: Thank you, The Fray!


(Sorry: I'm not a native speaker. Here are definitely a lot of grammar/vocabulary fails in the text.)

@tacoemporium2500

Your brother seems like he was quite a special and unique person and I’m glad you was finally able to share your story with everybody. Keep fighting to honor your brother and continue his legacy because you’re going to do great things in your life (: my condolences to your brother and I hope he rests peacefully

@AndrewCharles1

I read to the end for your brother. And for you.

@nicolasfohn1761

Wow dini Gschicht hed mich echt berührt😪 Ich hoffe, dass es dir guet gaht.

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