Envy
Gao the Arsonist Lyrics

I'm the bastard who's after your accolades
I am the person who is jealous of your accomplishments

Spat congratulations, saying left a bullshit after taste
I pretend to compliment you but really mean the opposite

Tension high as opera singer's frequencies that shatter plates
The tension between us is very high and intense

Huh, shove my knuckles through the same gap that the laughter came
I am filled with anger and want to punch something over your success

Pass the cane/Cain
A play on words referencing Cain, the biblical character known for killing his brother out of jealousy

I'm not able/Abel to see the impressive factor
I am unable to see anything impressive about your achievements

Stingy giving props, tick me off the list of benefactors
I am unwilling to give credit where credit is due and become angry when I am not acknowledged

Huh What the fuck mean I'm jealous
I become defensive when someone suggests that I am jealous

Adders slither through the overgrowth I, play with matchsticks in the pastures
I take pleasure in destructive behavior, comparing it to playing with matches

Burn me, nigga, take me straight to Salem, death is heaven sent
I would rather die than have to deal with my envy

Rather bite the bullet than be put where envy tends to vent
I would prefer to choose my own pain than suffer from the consequences of my envy

Strip my bluffs and fuck 'em like the clubs where plenty twenties spent
Expose my lies and weaknesses like a stripper, as if I am worth nothing

Excelling next to me, you get a mouth of empty sentiment
When someone succeeds next to me, all I can offer them is insincere praise

Subtle, beat-up in the tunnel on a summer weekend
An intense fight or struggle that often goes unnoticed

Puddled blood appears your stomach weakens
The sight of blood makes you feel sick

Pummel peons broke a couple teeth to comfort demons
I take out my frustrations on those weaker than me

It's unbelievable I, choke my mind, delete my being
My negative thoughts consume me and make me feel like I am losing myself

Every time I run a beating I get so envious
Whenever someone does better than me, I become extremely jealous

Anxious in this state I panic, rancid in my acid sage
My jealousy causes me to become anxious and angry

Entranced, faded, while erratic in the manic phase
I become obsessed with my jealousy, entering a state of chaos

I go insane when I'm alone, myself and my brain
When I am alone, my jealousy takes over and makes me feel crazy

Have to kill my thoughts, inferno upon the canna
I have to get rid of my jealous thoughts, which feel like a burning fire inside me

Evaporate like I'm Gallifrey
Disappear like a fictional planet from the TV show Doctor Who

Cellos cry for the lost talent
The sound of cellos creates a mournful feeling for lost talent or opportunities

Lost balance, fall and shatter my jaw
My jealousy causes me to lose stability and hurt myself

Can't talk now it's one o'clock And sirens are spitting their soft ballads, lulling me
I am distracted by the sounds of sirens and cannot focus

My body finds itself at the landing of tall mountains In the shadow of a boulder face
I feel small and insignificant next to those who have achieved more than me

Burn a couple bridges just to show they can't support the weight Fuck 'em
I cut people off and burn bridges with them just to prove that they are not important to me

Empty shipping wooden coffins out from Birnam straight to Dunsinane Burn em with the Bunsen, Ga
Burn wooden coffins that are being shipped without anyone inside them, referencing Shakespeare's Macbeth

My cup of blood sweat and tears is your beverage shade
My hard work and effort mean nothing to you

Envy crept in easy as the fucking edges on a blade cut
My jealousy came easily, like being cut by a sharp blade

My smile so rusty, getting tetanus from a gaze, fuck
My fake smile is so old and worn out, it may as well give me tetanus

Being less cause terror like a single mother's pay cut
Being demoted or looked down upon causes a lot of fear and stress, like a mother losing her source of income

Take up the mantle of the handle bar gripper Lemme gather all your victories I'm spiteful of and cycle through
Take your place and become successful, while I reap the benefits of your accomplishments

Pastor said don't covet but right now I'm finna light the crucifix up/fix up
Reference to biblical commandment not to covet, but I am so jealous that I want to destroy religious symbols

My own mind my own shit like the idle do
I am stuck in my own jealousy and negative thoughts, like someone with nothing to do

Eyes are glued To heights that you Climbed up to Devised a fool proof scheme to
I am fixated on the successes you have achieved, and am coming up with a way to surpass you

Always feel like I'm the su-perior I lie to you
I always want to feel superior to you, but I lie to myself to believe it

To me, I brag that i could do it Act like clad in rags, hold cocktails Violent like a pyro's booze
I act like I am better than you, even if it is not true. I am violent and act like a pyromaniac

Well fuck I'm tired too I'm breaking/braking, check tyre marks Just want at least equality, this shit would even tire Marx
I am tired of feeling jealous and angry all the time. I wish we could be equal, even a huge socialist like Marx would tire of this

Animal for damaged pride, more musk than the entire ark
I become an animal when my pride is hurt and become more overpowering than even the largest ship

If scavenging for self esteem ain't work why don't I try a carcass
If my attempts to find self-esteem through other means has not worked, I should try something even more desperate