Gaps is a name of at least two acts:

(1) A UK duo
(2) A USA rappe… Read Full Bio ↴Gaps is a name of at least two acts:

(1) A UK duo
(2) A USA rapper

(1) A Brighton, UK, duo of Rachel Butt and Ed Critchley who describe themselves: “a project made up of seagulls, a guitar, laptops and red wine”. Another exciting Brighton band to emerge recently, Gaps style can best be described as shoegaze that combines electronic elements with a leading guitar and wailing vocals.

Sites: YouTube, SoundCloud and Twitter

(2) A pseudonym of Ricardo Tejeda. Raised in a multiracial household, in the infamous Sistrunk area of Fort Lauderdale, FL, USA, during the 90s, he quickly found a passion for Hip Hop. Honing his skills, and using his background from a lower-middle class working family, he released his first album, “Primitive Slob”, in 2005. Driven by personal experiences and beliefs, this album was a highly emotional record, with deep political undertones. This garnered Gaps accolades as a rapper and opened doors for performances and collaborations. In late 2008, he started writing and recording his follow up album, “I’m Not Dead Yet”, which was released in late Spring, 2009. Building on the reputation he earned as one of Fort Lauderdale’s most talented independent rappers, INDY followed the same formula as it’s predecessor. With a sharper flow and delivery, “I’m Not Dead Yet” featured bangers like “Sunshine State Of Mind”, a love letter to Gaps’ home city, Fort Lauderdale and “Emergency Sirens”, the highly political song which could act as a theme song for an American rebel faction. After the successful release of his second album, Gaps worked on a slew of songs including two that were featured in the free, double single, internet record, “Beat Her Heart Out”. Gaining a full head of steam,
Gaps was putting on high energy performances at an alarming rate and hosting a monthly event in the heart of Downtown Fort Lauderdale. In 2011, he cofounded The Party Monsters with friends, and fellow rappers, Protoman, Jabrjaw, Dirty Dem, and Bonus. The group debuted “Born To Roll”, a remix of the classic Masta Ace song of the same name. The Party Monsters were dubbed “Broward’s hip-hop supergroup” by Broward/Palm Beach New Times-County Grind blog writer, Jasper Delani. While working with The Party Monsters, Gaps also started work on two solo EPs. “Live To Love Another Day” was the first to be finished. Released in the Spring of 2012, this featured highly emotional songs which highlight a bad break-up, the death of family members and friends and his own self doubt. The second of these projects, “Music For Modern Living & Everyday Situations”, was released in late August. A highly political and experimental hip-hop record, this includes the singles “Fight Song!” and “Blood On The Floor”, which have been featured by the Broward/Palm Beach New Times. 2012 has seen two records by Gaps, a multitude of blog write-ups and a Florida tour with his crew, the Black Locust Society. He has has been described as “constantly on the grind” and “full of energy”. Never satisfied, Gaps continues to work on music.

Black And White
Gaps Lyrics

We have lyrics for 'Black And White' by these artists:

.INXS Could be clear black and white Make a decision Got a need…
Aban Don ...and the view of the Earth, it was the only...…
Acceptance Another day in my life, another day, I'm insecure, how…
Alesta Ever since you talked to me, I have lost my way…
Allison Leah Help, I've seen someone fall again He's on the ground And al…
Ambrose Akinmusire Michael Yezerski feat. Jasmine Cephas-Jones I watched this old time movie with bogey and Bacall What…
Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness As the summer came and left with the rain Pushing shadows…
ari lennox Let me in your temple (ooh) Show me what you into…
Arleta Του άλμπορ το φανάρι πότε θα φανεί Οι μαθήτριεσ σχολάσανε το…

B'z グラスを割ったホシを探すんだろ? 捕まえてごらんよママのミルクをこぼしたのは誰なの? それを知りたいんだろ? …
Black and White Should I go there Am I nowhere Ain't no difference It's all …
Black White & Co It's so funny how we met Just a treble and a…
Brasma Ooh, you're outta luck Somebody's pulled the rug A…
Bravo Armada I'm black and white. I'm the only person on this…
Breaker Red blue green are the colors you don't see I'm…
BrightDelight Moon fades to black Horizon is gone In time the only colors…
Britny Fox Liplock warrior only got a story Her laser lies cuttin' you…
Bros Many of our lives are controlled by others They look upon…
Brye Every time I'm back here I swear I'll never leave The smoke…
Camylio We went from gray to black and white Tell me when…
Cherryholmes Oh, let me tell my story friend That you might learn…
Christie Huff Back and forth, back and forth That is what we've done…
Code-Black It's got to be this way or it's the highway…
Cryptic Slaughter Violence throughout the land Racial groups, they plan attac…
Cureton Fifteen And my own hero Gasoline Bow and arrow A know-it-all…
dB's The I, I never would hurt you Even if I did you You…
EarlyRise Will it be the same tomorrow? Will you recognize your face?…
Emmy Law Find me out on the the other side You're along and…
Erin Bowman & Joe Philips TV version It's always hard, When the journey beg…
Ewan MacColl The apples ripe upon the bow the orange on the…
Extrapolation Wet roads Trench coats One more kiss and one last cigarette …
F.P.O Hey dad I got in a fight with this white…
Flash Frozen horses in the snow Chapel bells uh chime Looking…
Forty Winks Give up cause I'm getting short of attitude The slack comes…
From First to Last I let my DNA take over me, I'd like to take…
G Na (Black black black white) (Black black black white) Black a…
Gangs Of Ballet Used to be the one I went to when I…
Glenn Close Terri White Jim Dale & Company Black and White Tell Me How The Wiser Man Has…
GNA (black, black, black, white 3x) black and white black and w…
Gojko so you wanna hit my line when the sun goes…
Greyhound The ink is black, the page is white Together we learn…
Gustavo Bertoni I'm painted black and white I've seen this all before The mo…
H.N.P Sometime's I feel like I give too much damn time to…
Henry Rollins I've been around Turned around Made to see New eyes burning …
Hugo Barriol When my time's where it belongs When you're home with me…
Hunny Run away, run away Can I bury my head, please? In a…
In Flames I am one with the world tonight I am proud to…
In-Fact As the summer came and left with the rain Pushing shadows…
Inner Circle The link is black, the page is white, together we'll learn…
INXS Could be clear black and white Make a decision Got a need…
J.A.P. Davis Lately I've been seeing people dying on the streets Cops be…
Jack Campbell Let's judge this fish on how it climbs a tree I…
Jackson Browne Long before you ever saw your chances You were going to…
Jason Chen Is it the flames that we go, I’m burning up, you’re…
JB and the Moonshine Band She said he ain't ever here I've wasted all these years…
Jeremy The other day reading Drum magazine I'll tell you some of…
Jimmy Nail The ink is black, the page is white Together we learn…
Joshua Michael Robinson Swing for me child, swing for a while. Promised I'd be…
Juice WRLD I'm in my black Benz Doin' cocaine with my black friends Uh,…
K.I.L.L My bag had to get that right Bad bitch on me…
Katie Armiger It's so hard to understand Should I go, or stay with…
Kennesaw It's not right or is it? Can you feel my words?…
Kevin Paige How many times will man be burned Before he realizes the…
Kim Carnes You had your life And I had mine And together we could Do…
King Los My whole world is black and white, black and white My…
Koethe Everyone thinks they've got the answer Everyone thinks they'…
Kombi Twój normalny dzień zawsze black and white Żyjesz jak rakie…
Kombii W Dubaju Skawa Blues, Szczur je gruz Zaległości w urzędzie p…
Kylie Minogue & Garibay Shoot it Talk to me girl These photographs don't relieve me…
Kylie Minogue feat. Shaggy Shoot it Talk to me girl These photographs don′t relieve me…
Kylie Minogue Garibay Shaggy Shoot it Talk to me girl These photographs don't relieve me…
Let It Happen You stood beside me and we held our ground. When I…
Liam Horne Don't try and stay I'm over you Love wash away like…
LITE Peace you while Im eating Eating while Im creeping Buy you…
Luch Stefano Broken bottles and empty glass And I'm lost and searching fo…
Lyriel Pass me by like snow vanishes on frozen hands Down the…
Madchild See I′m not insane, in fact I'm kind of rational When…
Madchild & Evidence See I'm not insane In fact I'm kind of rational When I…
Mansions Kings lost his crown Walls falling down Don't make a sound T…
Marcus Alexander There's a shadow following you around It's the shadow of him…
Mariami The plains open up I open my eyes I′ve been here before…
Mary Shannon It's been a rough couple weeks And I'm feeling kind of…
Master P Hey dad I got in a fight with this white…
Matt & Isom ct twelve I dream The siren screams The bomb will fall, fall…
Mesus Drop the beat for me Wanna make sure that you hear…
Michael Jackson I took my baby on a Saturday bang Boy is that…
minami KIKKUN-MK-II Yeah, black, black, black, black Black power, black power, …
Mr. Beautiful We are two shadows moving on a wall Two characters both…
Mushmellow I can see, I don't even have to seek I can…
Nasty C Let me in your temple (ooh) Show me what you into…
Niall Horan That first night we were standin' at your door Fumblin' for…
O.L.D.F.I.X. 眠らず働く令和日本勤務先デカイ企業 I'm ジャパニーズサラリーマン吐く言葉かなりリアル取引先は神様です「…
Of Wolves & Angels Behold They're bodies that walk by their own Behold Their ha…
Owls in the Attic Oh my son, how did things get so out of…
Paco Versailles Straight out of the wound like a balloon Now I′m standing…
Parquet Courts Nothing makes my heart so wild as being In possession of…
Pete Seeger Oh, the ink is black, the page is white Together we…
Pluton & B-Fairy 眠らず働く令和日本勤務先デカイ企業 I'm ジャパニーズサラリーマン吐く言葉かなりリアル取引先は神様です「…
Poor Traits Maybe you're too black and white You're black, and I'm every…
R.A. the Rugged Man Do you resent the fact that people Make a special deal…
Rage Life was coming out of water Reached for land and spread…
Rainbow Kitten Surprise patiently listenin' you're keepin' your distance but I was s…
Ready Steady Steroids Our time's better than we had before Our time's only filled…
Regina Spektor All my love In black and white On this color photograph Sad …
Rollins Band I've been around Turned around Made to see New eyes burning …
Rosanne Cash Oooh, my life is in black and white Like an old-time…
Rudy Mancuso Should I gather all the pieces To the puzzle of my…
Ryko-J Lately I've been seeing people dying on the streets Cops be…
Salt Cathedral All I hear is black and white All I hear is…
San Holo Baby do you realize? Nothing here is black and white Meet me…
Sarah McLachlan Unravel me A distant cord On the outside is forgotten A cons…
Sarai Questions in mind will I be accepted or not If not…
Serge Gainsbourg Une négresse Qui buvait du lait Ah! Se disait-elle Si je le …
Shades Apart Black turns to white just once more Can't realize what's hap…
Silent Line For ages we have watched this land degrading The past preyed…
spektor regina All my love In black and white On this color photograph Sad …
Static-X Lost in my own World Lost in my own World Lost in…
Sticks and Stones Yeah yeah, turn me up A little Stick-Man Spilt enough blood…
String Cheese Incident Spend our lifetime reading Books that we've been told to …
Subhumans Silence - is no reaction "Violence" - that one-word caption …
T-Rock Black chick white guy, does it mean shit, maybe? I don't…
The Artichokes Verse I feel your footsteps moving on the second floor I f…
The dB I, I never would hurt you Even if I did you You…
The dB's Holsapple I, I never would hurt you But even if I…
The dB´s I, I never would hurt you Even if I did you You…
The Flower Kings Days of black & white are here again leave it's mark…
The Kung Fu Girls I think about you Everyday When I see you You take my bre…
the lay You Know the color That you left to knock me down …
The Moderates Beggars and liars, cheaters and thieves They all have someth…
The O'Reillys and the Paddyhats He′s the oldest guy I've seen But he dances like a…
The Raincoats No distinction, no emotion for right or wrong They tell me…
The Samples Black and white Always fighting Blue and green It'll soon be…
The Screaming Jets Don't walk that road without your shoes on, She said your…
The Shires You were given two eyes, so you've got perspective, You were…
The String Cheese Incident Spend our lifetime reading books that we've been told to Are…
The Upper Room I met her under a shelter We were hiding from the…
Three Dog Night The ink is black, the page is white Together we learn…
Todd Rundgren Stick to your guns Diamonds are a girl's best friend Nobody …
Tóth Andi Intro: Black and white Black and white Black and white I'm …
Toxik Take a look at the big picture now See if you…
U.D.O. Eyes Of Fire – Heart Of Ice Angel Dreams – Devil’s…
U.T.R.B. 眠らず働く令和日本勤務先デカイ企業 I'm ジャパニーズサラリーマン吐く言葉かなりリアル取引先は神様です「…
Udo Eyes Of Fire – Heart Of Ice Angel Dreams – Devil’s…
W.H.A.N.Ds Sometime's I feel like I give too much damn time to…
Weighed in the Balance May you never sleep too soundly And run on borrowed time A…
Wildpath Facing the fate as they reached the cave Looking for glory,…
Will Trotman Band Still as the night The kind of the that′s black and…
Wretch 32 Fasten your seatbelt I'm about to take you on a journey On…
X-State Ride Lost in my own World Lost in my own World Lost in…
Zardonic Stare in the Sun, burn away what I′ve seen Blind myself…
Zhero Maybe I should just sleep Dreaming in eternity But what abou…

We have lyrics for these tracks by Gaps:

Incide Your Head say oops upside your head say oops upside your head say…

Inside Your Head say oops upside your head say oops upside your head say…

The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

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Most interesting comment from YouTube:

@JW-vd4il

@ALuraShaneé and @Alovatolo

Yes! wtf. If he was a Good Guy, it would be, "I'll pay everything since I can suddenly afford this and I want it."

Of course she'll contribute (or if she won't that is ANOTHER situation) but this is the big BUT to watch out for, that you both mentioned: why would he try to get her to stretch her money when he could cover everything AND give her an "allowance?" But didn't offer that until she was ending it?!
M-F-er!!! What a creep.

Anyone who really cares should make sure you have enough money to GET AWAY FROM THEM, even if you simply want to break up.

He tried putting her over a barrel. That IS scary, especially when he changed his tune so fast when she Noped Out.

Caring couples CARE. This is a great example of ATTEMPTED (ha ha ha!) MANIPULATION!

All comments from YouTube:

@cecilflounders5995

3y↑1.1K

Timestamps:
Story 1: 3:21
Story 2: 13:13
Story 3: 26:52
Story 4: 44:08
Story 5: 56:12
Story 6: 1:06:00

@mjexton8882

3y↑17

Thankyou

@claire-jp6kg

3y↑15

youre a saint thank you

@KiKi-75

3y↑6

Thank you 🙏

@meganl8427

2y↑3

Tysm

@genggeng69

2y↑4

I hope you have lovely days always

8 More Replies...

@koolaidman_

2y↑1.6K

My philosophy on age gaps is that the older you get, the acceptable gap gets wider. 10 years between an 18 and 28 year old is huge but its practically nothing if a 40 year old and a 50 year old start dating

@2710Gemma

2y↑100

Exactly, at ages 40 and 50 you kinda know who you are and there’s usually not any more big revelations or life stages to go through. But between the ages of 18 and 28 you go through a lot that shapes who you are. I’m 26 and I’m a VASTLY different person from who I was at 18, and I think it can cause a lot of friction in relationships where one person is still going through these big life altering stages and the other is not. Especially if the older person clings onto how their partner was when they first met and won’t let them grow.

Whenever I see anyone interested in someone way younger I can’t help but think they’ve decided to date someone that young BECAUSE they’re still impressionable and can be manipulated into being the “perfect partner”

@oppositepuppy

2y↑27

It's true I'm 25 and my bf is 36 big enough age gap but acceptable, at first my brother's found it weird but then I threw all their age gap relationships in their faces and they just came to terms with it now they couldn't care less and just get to know him have a laugh and stuff (also long distance) he lives in America I'm in UK

@karinalumen9722

2y↑22

@Oppositepuppy i feel like the mid 20 with mid 30 age gap is the one people that want to mold the younger one into an “ideal” spouse happens.

@oppositepuppy

2y↑9

@SundayMorning why do you feel that? I've noticed myself that my bf doesn't stop me doing anything and he loves doing almost everything that I do as well, he's just happy being with me and doesn't fuss about what we do as long as we're spending time together, i don't know if that's a rare thing or something but I like to game and so does he, I like movies he likes similar movies I've introduced to sooo many things he'd never seen nor tried and he's older than I am he's honestly the best partner I could of ever asked for in life

@rivervixens06

2y↑9

obv it’s not all about age, but i agree with you. i’m still young (won’t tell you how young) but i’m mostly attracted to an older person, but i know my place and i know that this kind of relationship at this age is really inappropriate to have. that’s why i’m not rushing anything and waiting till i’m older and wiser to even have to date anyone. cuz tbh either younger, same age, or older people they’re all the same if you met the wrong one regardless of age.

18 More Replies...

@kathiekalara6

2y↑209

First story still gave me red flags. You wouldn't lose all your friendships over a relationship that was completely safe/healthy.

@mustachiolps1623

33w↑22

That's what I thought exactly. They probably know when they met and think that him picking her up fresh off the bus is not okay, they are displaying concerning behavior, or there is a clear power imbalance like Morgan mentioned. Him picking her up at 19 definitely gave me the ick tho, that's barely legal...

@victoriachristina1

3y↑984

Story #2 if someone told me that they started dating someone inappropriate when they turned 18, knowing they had a different relationship before hand. Sorry, there’s no chance I’m gonna sit there and believe that everything was perfectly platonic until their 18th birthday

@ludmilamaiolini6811

3y↑89

Yeah, it’s very likely that things started before she was of age, and they lied about it to her parents to make the relationship seem more acceptable

@teganking6945

3y↑109

It’s something that is so disgusting. Like when I see people say ‘oh they waited until I was 18’ yes that wasn’t for your sake, it was so the groomer doesn’t get in trouble…it’s not sweet!! Argh

@talkswithali

2y↑16

Yeah, 100% agree. Definitely some grooming

@madilynvienna

2y↑16

Exactly what I was thinking. They for sure lied about when it started and he literally changed her diapers im infuriated

@krisl6537

1y↑8

It probably not and I feel the same about the 19 year old and 38 year old in the first story. Neither are romantic and scream red flags especially towards these older men.

11 More Replies...

@lallana2882

3y↑3.6K

The only time an age gap is a red flag to me is when the older person knew the younger person before they were an adult. Then you have to wonder if grooming was involved.

@NameName-yj7lp

3y↑108

Exaclty if the relationship starts as like 11-20 yeah no weird. Same for somthing like 17-24 since so many have gone for 17 year olds since they would almost be by law an adult

@2SpecialNeedsMama

3y↑6

Right!!!

@sourrfaced

3y↑212

but also i don't think when someone turns 18 theyre not suddenly immune to grooming

@user-ls4ev3gt8m

3y↑101

18 year olds can be groomed...

@konyatencio

3y↑4

Facts

35 More Replies...

@grapeindisguise8770

2y↑90

The groomer story genuinely makes me terrified for their unborn child CUZ HE RAISED HER RAISED HER

@theoctopigeon2107

3y↑2.5K

honestly for the first story, the mistake the mother in law made was questioning the young girls intentions, when she should question why her VERY ADULT SON is dating a TEENAGER. Also they only dated a year before getting married with that age gap, that doesn't sound well.

@ubfunkysrule

3y↑220

Ok facts!! I think people like to pin age gap relationships on the impressionable taken advantaged of girl rather than older man who has more power. Crazy.

@msgirly6827

3y↑96

@celeste dragomir I always pin it on the older man. Always.

@syphilisma8293

3y↑30

Exactly! It’s not her fault if she’s being manipulate s

@SomaliaVicecaptain

3y↑23

Seems like he was waiting the legal day who knows what he was doing behind doors parents really need to not welcome none blood related ppl to their house most of them r grøømers I have seen enough stories of ppl ending up with their no blood sibling/father/mother these ppl know how to manipulate these kids from young age n make them keep secret of everything they r doing to the kids anyways English is not my 3rd language so…. Enjoy being confused

@lehelflothmann5174

Funny how women want to be equal until it means equal responsibility for their choices. Lmao.

36 More Replies...

@melissarivashdez2983

2y↑257

I am so concerned for the girl who ended up pregnant with the guy who literally changed her diapers because he could have possibly groomed her as a child or even assaulted her and on top of that it’s possible that he could do the same to his own child! (There’s a case where the dad got his own daughter pregnant and ended up killing both of them along with the rest of his family)

@tatylandell8915

50w↑8

my heart sank when i heard she was pregnant. he definitely assaulted her as a minor

@992dancer

29w↑2

I worry for her and the baby for sure, the parents are doing the right thing by keeping her close to them and if she insists he be there for now then i they are doing the right thing, but it’s important that they get her a therapist who can help her see the reality of her situation!!! ❤️❤️❤️

@93runninggiraffes

2y↑181

With the 19 year age gap - I think my general feeling is that if your brain is still developing, massive age gaps like that are predatory, regardless of whether or not both parties are considered adults in the eyes of the law. I think the main thing is that it's incredibly suss that a 40 year old would become friends with a 19 year old... let alone all of the other red flags in her story. I genuinely feel sorry for her - it isn't fair that she's facing the criticism, it's her repulsive husband that deserves to be endlessly questioned about his ulterior motives. I would feel very differently if she was 30 and he was 49 when they met.

@crash92la98

2y↑34

I know. I'm only 30, but when I see a 19 yr old, I see a child's face! Nothing but a legal pervert when a partner is that young.

@nikhiljaikumar8611

2y↑5

Differently aged friendships are a good and healthy thing: I'd say that if all your friends are your same age, that alone is going to make you miss out on a lot of experience and wisdom. The idea that 19 year olds aren't full adults and should only hang out with other 18 year olds is a weird aspect of American culture and isn't particulalry healthy.

@ashleyrachel8897

2y↑17

@Nikhil Jaikumar no one is saying that 19 year olds should only have friends that are also 18 and 19. I’m 30 and have friends that are younger that said when I see them I’m not interested in more than that . They are children and to them I am someone that can give advice and be there to listen like a friend should. As someone who dated someone that was 35 when I was 19 it was absolutely not okay and it makes me sad that both these young girls and the young woman in the story don’t see how predatory this man is. Of course people on the age gap Reddit page were supportive the predators want to validate that they aren’t predators and the younger people don’t realize it’s predatory because predators unfortunately know exactly what they are doing.
No doubt the man in the first story has said several time a “you’re so mature for your age.” He is JUST AS BAD as the rest of the older people in these stories.

@MintyBingus

1y↑5

I think a friendship is fine in the right context. I've had friends all over the age range, from 14 to 60 (I'm 20), and none of it has ever been predatory or creepy. The younger friends are people I met through fandoms, so we bond over those shared interests.

@ralegade7710

1y↑1

People always throw out how your brain has still developing until you’re in your twenties, but they never quantify how that applies in the real world. What decisions can a 28 year old make that a 22 year old can’t? If we’re going to run with this idea, no one in their twenties should be consuming alcohol because it inhibits their ability to make decisions further. Let’s just say the age of adulthood is 32. No drinking, sex, driving, loans etc. “The coddling of the American mind “. Great book

Furthermore, there’s nothing suss about a 40 year old male and a 20 year old woman. That’s pretty much been standard mating practice for most of human history. People didn’t start courting their peers until pretty much the 1700’s unless they were involved in an arranged marriage. At age 40 a man is typically at his prime or nearing his prime (45-52) from a socioeconomic perspective. Women select men based on the resources they have to provide stability for a family. A man in this age demographic most likely is a home owner, has had higher income for a decade, has life experience and can be a sufficient leader. A twenty year old woman is a peak youth, beauty and fertility. These are the traits men look for in women. Why would a man in his prime prefer a woman ten years past hers? At age thirty, 80 percent of your eggs have vanished. After 35, most women these days need to depend on technology to become pregnant. There are a few men that don’t seek reproductive value-they’re rare. For most, why would you pick a woman who’s biologically useless?

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of the high school sweetheart, but that poses significant dangers as well. The man may night get the chance to develop certain competencies prior to getting involved with a woman and that can pose many challenges in the future. Perhaps a ten year age gap is best for most people.

9 More Replies...

@camilleodowd8366

3y↑233

cousin is definitely a homophobe. butch women are often considered “predatory” because they’re masculine gay women and especially so if the partner is fem. there is really nothing wrong with the age gap (from someone who is always suspicious of age gaps), the cousin is just looking for a more acceptable outlet to spew their hate of butch women, they’re definitely homophobic/lesbophobic.

@z-524

3y↑495

I’m pretty sure the main argument against age gaps isn’t age gaps, its power imbalances. My best friends parents are 20 years apart but they eat when her mom was 40 and her dad was 60, both of them were established in careers and had previous marriages, and had equal footing. But, another friend of mine had a 3 year age gap crush when she was 17 and all of our group had to remind her how bad of an idea it was to ‘date’ someone who was in a weird position of authority over her. The age gaps aren’t just about age, its about power and if someone has too much of it over their SO.

@iloveme4life

2y↑5

YES!!!

@Tamara-ju3lh

1y↑12

100%. You can be the same exact age but have a power imbalance.

@supernova11711

1y↑20

This is SO true! I didn’t know why the thought of a 20 year old getting together with a 40 year old made me sick but a 40 yo and a 60 yo seems fine.
Your brain doesn’t even stop developing until your 25!
Even 30 and 50 is much better. An older person going for anyone in they’re 20’s has just always given me predatory vibes.

@Dennis-nc3vw

@Supernova Since when is the solution to one immature mind to pair them with another immature mind? If your daughter was an airhead, and brought home the class valedictorian for dinner, you wouldn't say 'Oh noes, he's smarter than her, he'll manipulate her!" You'd say "Phew, she found a smart guy to keep her out of trouble."

Studies shows the 17-20 demographic is about twice as likely to commit IPV as someone 25 -28. Yet it's the "creepy older men" you worry about.

@Dennis-nc3vw

1y↑1

What was his authority?

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@coleheffernan5799

3y↑293

In that second story it's almost like he trapped her by getting her pregnant, and only was okay with her telling them because he knew that if she was pregnant her family would have to be okay with it for the sake of her and her kid...fucked up shit, jesus...

@roriannajanelle6008

1y↑17

Yep and the factc that he changed her diapers and now hes ggoing to be changing there childs diapers is digusting

@superrobby3657

3y↑844

As a former sugar baby I don’t like age gaps... old men are truly disgusting, lots of old men want to date young girls not women their own ages because they think they can get away with the bullshit they do dating someone younger... older women wouldn’t put up with those antics because they are too wise

@annerison

3y↑13

💯

@ludmilamaiolini6811

3y↑16

I would like to know more about your story :)

@karinalumen9722

2y↑16

The disrespect is also heartbreaking

@NLR759

2y↑41

I agree with you completely. Older men look for naive, inexperienced women for a reason. It benefits them. I had it happened to me, and looking back, I am so angry that I wasted time on him.

@ralegade7710

Why were you a sugar baby? Act like a Ho and you’ll bring out the worst aspects of men. Duh.

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@Claeleth

3y↑1K

Okay, but how did the people from the first story meet and become friends? Like I don't know any 19 year olds who just hang out with 40 year olds. I think how they met definetly influences wether or not it's creepy.

@TwoHotTakes

3y↑193

Now that I think about this.. I have a story so similar. I was 16-18 years old and friends with a 30+ year old. I worked at Perkins as a server and he was my work bestie 😂

@msgabrille5620

3y↑34

My sister adopted me at 11, and after I turned 18, she became my best friend. And invited me to get togethers. At 20 I went to one together and met my now husband. I had a child from a previous relationship so he thought I was a lot older and until we really started talking and hanging out and found out each other’s ages. It never bother us or anyone we know. We all make jokes but at the end of the day we are amazing together.

@captainjoy8976

3y↑25

I started a new job last year and most people are over 40 yo :D that happens quite often actually. Our newest employee is only 19, he's the youngest in our office :D when I was younger I met many older people in the orchestra I played trumpet in and in my karate classes too

@marym9150

3y↑17

Work. I know people who have over a 20 year age gap, and it works. They have 4 beautiful children now, And are very happy. Age is just a number at the end of the day.

@marym9150

3y↑6

However knowing a child for being a baby, mm yeah. That's fu.

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@adriennepaige4003

3y↑241

i got into an argument on reddit cause a 30 year old was dating a 17 year old.. i don’t care about other peoples relationships but i believe age gaps should be with people 18 and older. i’ve been there and being in a relationship with someone older than you while you’re still a teenager can age you. even if the relationship was great, you grow up and look back with different eyes

@crystaleuwing8411

2y↑19

I agree I was 14 and he was 18 and it really messes you up when you get older

@soupi2105

2y↑51

Even 18 and 30 would be extremely predatory imo. If you’re in your late twenties or thirties you shouldn’t be dating teenagers period, like wtf do you have in common with someone who JUST graduated high school?

@victoriakelley664

2y↑3

It gets messy and hard to call when it's a few years age gap with one over 18 and one below- I feel like if you could have met in highschool and the way you meet isn't creepy is the teller for the around 18 age

@nikhiljaikumar8611

2y↑1

@Soupi why not? Someone in their 30s or 40s is going to be economically better off, more settled in life, more experienced, probably more emotionally aware and perceptive, less aggressive, and is going to have more life experience in terms of how to treat a partner well. I'd say he is much more likely to treat an 18 year old partner well than soemone her age would.

@soupi2105

2y↑22

@Nikhil Jaikumar if you can’t see why the things you listed would actually make it even fucking weirder you’re out of your mind. People in their 30’s and 40’s are in a position to easily manipulate and hold their power over someone who’s fresh out of highschool and often do in those relationships.

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@Freyja-Love

2y↑24

I have 2 different takes on this subject. My first husband who I was married to for 15 years, was 30 years older than me. I was 20 when we met. He is the absolute best dad ever. But we had literally nothing in common AT ALL. Eventually the differences put a strain on the marriage, and we divorced.
Now onto my current marriage. He is 8 years younger than I am. And we have a lot in common. Gaming. Looking for new adventures. The love for our cats. Our humour is the same. How we play fight/can be young with each other. I have never been so in love. No idea how to end this, so yeah. :)

@Alovatololo

3y↑167

That third story about the rent was a huge red flag. It feels like such a groomer move. Increase the target's financial burden to either put strain on her relationship with her parents or increase her dependence on him. The fact he changed his time instantly makes it seem like the money thing was just an excuse to take more power and control. Glad she is out of that situation but that dude seems dangerous.

@Alluponit31

2y↑17

THANK YOU! I was hoping someone would bring up the third story. Because NO, you shouldn’t leave home in an unstable situation, especially when being expected to pay for a wage you can’t afford. It def creates a situation of dependence.

@JW-vd4il

@shelby_button

3y↑50

That second story. Wow. I will say they’re actually very smart for “accepting” it. Because then they can be more hands on in the situation. Had the alienated the daughter there’s way less chance of her coming to them if she ever DOES realize what happened to her and what kind of person her fiancé actually is.

@paulinarestrepo15

3y↑556

I also feel uncomfortable with age gaps, but mostly for the power imbalance. Because yes, if you're legal and you love somebody, go for it, but what does that say about a man who dates someone 10 or 20 years younger? Does it pay off having a girlfriend so young and inexperienced so that you could play a somewhat protector role to her? (I know is not always the case, but I think it has psychological bases). And also, looking for younger women to date it's pretty common, but then, can't you imply that not being able to date someone close your age means that you don't have the emotional maturity to be with a woman at the same level, stability, maturity, etc.?

@LemoniestLemony

3y↑29

This is my reason too. I made a rule for myself that if I date it is only men 5 years above and 2 years below my age because I don't want that imbalance.

@melli1377

3y↑40

My boyfriend is 10 years older than me. It is not because he cannot date women „at his level“. It is because I do not want to date men my age. I’m only 21 however, I am much more mature that those in my age. I have also a stable job, finished college, did a apprenticeship, done a graduate Programm, live alone and earn more than enough to have support a great life style.
What I am trying to say: it depends on both parties and their maturity. It is not as black and white as you made it seem.

@LemoniestLemony

3y↑31

@Melli Of course. However, i have seen first hand the power imbalance and its hard for the woman to leave. And the man controls almost everything.

@melli1377

3y↑16

@Emily Yeoman You cannot apply your social experiences you have made in your Social Environment as it is a bubble to generalize all relationships with an age gap.
Of course you can set yourself age limits as you have previously stated, as it is you life.

@1sTEfFaniE1

3y↑34

When I was 19 my best friend dated a 40 year old and the manipulation and gaslighting I witnesses was enough to turn me off of large age gaps forever.
I think if both people are in the same life stage (settled down, done with school, steady job etc) than an age gap is ok, but if you're barely an adult its weird.

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@tinaanderson3379

3y↑1K

You've only been doing this since Feb? This has been so great to keep checking out and listen to! Thanks for all of the great "Hot Takes"

@TwoHotTakes

3y↑67

Yes only a couple months 🙈 thank you for being here joining and supporting us 🎉❤️

@123strangelife

2y↑14

Omg I felt like you have been professionally doing this for years! You are doing great 😳

@citlalisanchez9077

2y↑1

@T Ivanciuc k

@kristinaerickson2353

3y↑75

The context of an age gap relationship is everything. When did you meet? Are you financially independent? Is there a power imbalance?. My boyfriend is 15 years older but we met when I was 27. Both had good jobs and both were on our own.

@nuevesniche3145

3y↑315

My parents are 7 years apart, which doesn’t sound bad until you find out they started dating when my mom was 15 and dad was 22.

@mbt9700

3y↑89

Mine are also 7 yrs apart, but started when my dad was 47 and my mom 40! Weird how timing makes a huge difference.

@OlivePapyrus

3y↑73

He dated someone who still had a curfew and probably complained about bed time.

@nuevesniche3145

3y↑44

@Olive Papyrus only for a year until my mom moved in with him. To say it was a messy situation would be an understatement.

@soupi2105

2y↑3

Yikes omg

@nathaliecordova9668

2y↑20

Yikes I’m 22 and think about myself at 15 that’s way too young

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@nicollette4485

2y↑58

I'm freaked out that he changed her diapers & watched her learn to walk. How can he even think of her like that? I don't know if I could be civil😬🤯 groomer or not it's Hella weird

@CRYURHEARTOUTANDMAILITTOMYDOOR

45w↑3

oh def groomer...that's like a daughter or a little sister. and groomers often befriend the family first/have trauma of their own..

@Dennis-nc3vw

22w

You're the same people who claim parenting can't turn a gay kid straight or visa versa. It's super weird, but you can't just program someone to be sexually interested in you.

@Ergmermerg

3y↑47

Someone once told me to think of prenups as romantic. It's saying "I love you so much that, even things turn sour, I want you to still have what's yours and not fight over it"

@ksis86

3y↑203

Age gaps only gross me out if the oldest partner is old enough to be the parent to the other. It creeps me out when people my age (24) are dating/marrying people older than my parents age lol

@kayfairbanks2532

3y↑212

No one on this podcast EVER sounds dumb! You all articulate very well and Alejandra in particular often has view points that make me stop and really think a moment about all sides of the issue. You guys are great!

@TwoHotTakes

3y↑13

Thank youuu. We were stressing for a minute 😂

@Britt1Marie

28w

Yes, I love Alejandra. She always comes with a different perspective, that I typically agree with. She is able to see things from all sides and that’s important, I think. It’s good that they can disagree sometimes, in a healthy way.

@DiMagnolia

2y↑13

As someone who was groomed as a teenager, it’s so hard to identify when you’re in it. I worry so much about the girl dating the guy 15 years older that helped raise her. So nasty.
Update to add that it does cause a lot of trauma, I don’t trust my own judgement because of that. We met when I was prepubescent and he was in high school, he didn’t live with us but he may as well have, he was such a big part of our family. He called my parents mom and dad, called me and my younger sibling his little sisters (I was not out as non-binary yet). Once I turned 15 he started pursuing me romantically, as an adult. By the time I was 17 we were engaged, I realized the abuse and broke up with him around my 19th birthday. This trauma led to me marrying another abuser when I was 20.

@AJTho

2y↑18

My best friend was 24 when she met het husband and he was 46 at the time. When i heard this i thought it was weird, i tjought he was weird for wanting to date someone 20 years his junior. But when i met him thst weird feeling and prejudice faded within 5 minutes. It became obvious right away that those two were made for each other. They have been married for 2 years after dating for 5 years and they are the happiest couple i've ever met, i hope that someday i'll have someone like that in my live as well 😁

@nikki9135

3y↑146

Congrats on all the success Morgan. Discovered the podcast on tiktok & I absolutely can’t get enough, you guys are great!

@TwoHotTakes

3y↑6

Thank you so much ❤️ so sweet of you. I’m so happy you’re loving it!!

@heynelly7771

3y↑49

My parents are wild, romantic drama protagonists that are 17 years apart.

They were penpals on a Christian relationship site for some months, just talking about their day, etc. (they aren’t big on heavy topics, more on simply being part of each other’s lives) before deciding to meet, so my dad got on a plane and flew from the Oregon to Jakarta, Indonesia. Instant physical connection, evidently. Mom told me after a few dates, they conceived me, professed their love for each other (???), decided to get married, and have been for 18 years. So many plot-holes, so much residual drama for taking it fast and raising me with two generations’ old outlooks, but they made it work (their relationship with each other, not necessarily me).

I don’t really understand how they work because they hardly speak to each other, which has caused many, many issues, and never go out, but I can tell they’re still in love. They say the rosary together every night, eat dinner together, make each other laugh, massage each other’s achy joints, and attempt to parent me.

To sum it up, they’re going to be buried with one another, but they’ll die fighting over where.

@issecret1

Age gap and an asian wife for a westerner. Double creepiness. It's always the religious ones

@notriplebackflip

3y↑186

The third story reminds me of one of my boyfriends friends. When him and his girlfriend were looking to move in together, he had a higher salary while she worked a minimum wage job. His budget for rent/expenses was much higher than hers would be based on their incomes. They decided to combine the same proportion (for example 30% of their income) of their individual incomes meaning they are still both contributing and it is the same financial strain on each of their paycheques. When my boyfriend told me about this I thought that it was a great compromise!

@OlivePapyrus

3y↑17

I used to think that works, except 30% of $100 hurts much more than 30% of $300 000. The greater strain was on the smaller income.

@joshdove

3y↑923

I’m in a 12 year age gap and literally never think about it 👀 only time it sucks is when we make references to nostalgic music/tv cause he was literally 27 when I was 15 like that’s fucking weird lmao

@TwoHotTakes

3y↑194

Lol 😂 after this episode I’m like “if you met at an appropriate age, and it works/y’all are happy, then get ittt”

@syphilisma8293

3y↑41

Ok but like ew he was graduating high school when you were in kindergarten

@bea1941

3y↑32

I only have a 4 year age gap and even then I can have that same nostalgia problem 😂

@danielles4426

3y↑15

Omg my husband just got upset with me about saying the grade I was in when a song came out. He is only 5 years older.

@Rena-ej7vv

3y↑8

😂 we have a 26 year age gap and hardly ever have cultural reference issues

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@Faith-wz7hu

2y↑76

I'm so glad you said that turning 18 is only one day older because I've been saying for years that you're not an automatically different person at 18 from when you were 17 and I've gotten so much hate for it. People (especially people who are either creeps themselves or know creeps) want to justify grown adults dating 18 year olds so much and it's disgusting. They are still a teen! A child! They might not have even graduated high school! I hate that it's controversal, people need to realize "legal" does not equal "healthy".

Edit: I'm disappointed you could say this then say you didn't have a problem with the 16-year age gap. What does a 34 year old have in common with an 18 year old? Just because you feel bad for op's situation with the family doesn't mean you should ignore what really happened.

@brilanova4847

2y↑7

Hi! Don’t mind my late reply it just seemed like a good opportunity for discussion as I just watched the episode and saw your comment.

I think the difference between the earlier story and the last story is this man was changing his now fiancé’s and mother of his child’s diapers and still somehow created a sexual attraction to her whilst also going behind this family’s back that essentially adopted him. Idk, her being pregnant felt very much like he purposely trapped her and took advantage of the family’s generosity after they gave him money to be successful and in turn start screwing their daughter behind their back. I think it’s also fair to say I would be uncomfortable with the situation no matter the ages. If you change someone’s diaper, there’s no logical reason to build a sexual and romantic attraction unless there’s something mentally wrong.

The last couple, however, met while they were both working on themselves. Had a (I’m assuming) platonic relationship for a year growing and getting to know each other before deciding to start dating. Even after dating they were together in what seems like a very healthy relationship for 8 years building a relationship with his son and still finishing school and showing independence. They met each other under very normal circumstances and allowed a lot of time for the relationship to grow in a healthy way and at a very slow and steady pace.

Idk the circumstances and context make a huge difference for me and I love these girls. Selfishly I’m hoping I can make you not disappointed in their responses, but I understand where you’re coming from too!

@lisalegato0109

2y↑4

18 isn't a "child." They're not an itty-bitty baby.

@nikhiljaikumar8611

2y↑1

1) 18 year old's aren't "children", that's insane. 2) Relationships aren't supposed to be about "what you have in common", they're supposed to be about what you can give to, and provide for, one another. Maybe the 18 year old is looking for a kind of quasi-parental figure to provide for her, nurture her, guide and mentor her, and the 34 year old wants someone that he can care for, nurture, and help her develop into her best self? 3) Why wouldn't it be healthy? Most crime and antisocial behaviour is committed by young men, not older men- I would guess that the typical 34 year old (or for that matter 54 year old) is way more likely to treat an 18 year old well than another 18 y/o would.

@lisalegato0109

@Nikhil Jaikumar Actress Evan Rachel Wood was 18 when she began seeing shock rocker Marilyn Manson, who was 37 then. Now she's claiming he "groomed" her for a music video, drugged her up, and raped her on camera.

@nikhiljaikumar8611

@The Lisa Lair marilyn is terrible person, no doubt about that.

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@skylermiller8605

2y↑16

Lauren you do not sound dumb. I always emotionally approach these podcasts as friends hanging out and talking in a safe space. It’s not an audition for who’s the biggest thinker or a platform where you need to feel uncomfortable speaking your unfiltered thoughts. I love hearing you guys talk and think you bring very wise counsel regardless of the occasional mispronunciation (or different pronunciation bc of you’re background) lol. Ultimately, you guys prove to be empathetic people with very thoughtful opinions, so don’t feel like you have to prove your smarts to a reviewer who might not know the first thing about how difficult it is to be an entertainer. Love you guys and this podcast!!!! ❤️

@missingnia

3y↑275

I'm in the middle of divorcing my ex. We met when I was about to turn 21 and he was 31, and we got married two years later. Now that I'm 30, I can't even imagine dating a college student... Even though we were in similar stages of life when we married, I've continued to grow and he did not.

Even if there isn't anything nefarious going on, large age gaps seem to put an expiration date on relationships.

(Hard same on the old soul -> probably just trauma lmaooo)

@TwoHotTakes

3y↑35

It’s so interesting how we mention two age gaps relationships that didn’t work too!
And yeah that trauma saying really hit different 🙈

@heathella

3y↑13

That’s probably why he dates younger women, cuz he doesn’t grow up

@gamma21285

@tessa hartman Again it depends.

@ralegade7710

1y↑2

Is it the age? Or the fact that your literally described a man who’s been stagnant in maturation for decades?

@HonorWillow

25w↑1

Story 2: I'm so saddened that OP gave up. I get it, but it's really sad. The daughter needs help but unfortunately you can't force it :(

@BRhymesss

3y↑100

I feel bad for the girl in the first story but I still don’t agree with the age gap in that situation. It is INCREDIBLY weird to me that someone at 38 would be dating someone that is still a TEENAGER (literally double her age) and cannot legally even drink yet. If she were even 27 and he 46 I would think of it differently. She was still a teenager and it’s still weird.

@elisecox8785

3y↑14

Whether you feel weird about their relationship is neither here nor there. The issue is people feeling uncomfortable about a situation they are not in does not justify abuse and discrimination. No other relationship would make people feel so justified in being openly disrespectful.

@mads597

3y↑40

@elise cox it’s often legitimately damaging to the younger person, even if they don’t realize the extent of it until they’re older. Perpetuating this as no biggie is a disservice to those lacking the life experience to view the situation clearly.

@womenbythedashboardlight6959

3y↑2

@Mads I’m in an 18 year relationship age gap. Are you saying that I am being traumatized because the girl I asked out is older than me?

@Dennis-nc3vw

@Mads The Age-IPV Curve: Changes in Intimate Partner Violence Perpetration during Adolescence and Young Adulthood
"To present results parsimoniously, we group age into four categories covering four years each. For male youth, IPV perpetration increased from 13% at 13–16 years to 19% at 17–20 years. This is followed by subsequent decreases at 21–24 years (15%) and 25–28 years (10%). [...] The age pattern for general antisocial behavior displayed a curvilinear pattern similar to the one for IPV perpetration among adolescent boys and young men increasing slightly from 30% at 13–16 years to 33% at 17–20 years followed by decreases at 21–24 years (25%) and 25–28 years (18%)."

But tell me again how its the creepy old men we have to worry about.

@aidianadatupe3985

17w

@womenbythedashboardlight6959 Did your partner change your diapers? I mean, its pretty obvious that in the first story they started doing something when she was barely legal.
Look, personally I think age gap relationships can work pretty well (if that's what you want, go ahead!:)) but you can't deny the problems that comes with it, and sometimes it involves grooming and even more manipulation

@caitlindayman2469

3y↑61

I have always been uncomfortable with big age gaps. I had a VERY innocent, very young cherub looking friend who had just turned 18 and hadn't even held a boy's hand yet. We shared a room at this place we did this gap year at where there was tons of people from all over the world all who were a bit older and more 'wordly'. She constantly had attention from the guys and was pursued by four main ones. Their ages were 24, 28, 36 and 30. I was a few years older and very protective as she was a month younger than my little sister. Anyway, I wouldn't hide how creepy I thought all these guys were but I was made to be the evil, judgemental friend who was dropped. She rejected all these guys except the last one who was 30 and the other guys did NOT react well. One broke her laptop as revenge...

@gardenofeden358

2y↑9

age gaps make me a little uncomfortable (coming from someone who’s parents have a 10 year age gap, mum 21 and dad 31 when they met). it really depends on the circumstances of how they met though. my parents met when they were both adults but my dad lied about his age and said he was 23 when he was really 31. i’m nearly the same age as my mum would have been when they first met. If a 31 yr old man approached me I would be really questioning their intentions wanting someone so much younger and less mature than them.

@sarahwells2703

2y↑40

Hey! So the age gap story about the daughter being pregnant by a family friend that was raised by her family-This has an update!!!! I listened to this for the first time this morning and randomly stumbled upon an update just now that the OP posted 6hrs ago. Seems like she’s doing well. Just wanted to let you know in case you hadn’t seen it yet. Thank you for this podcast, I love it. Keep up the great work.

@bunnylacy2097

2y↑10

What was the update though!!

@cynthiacheng3566

1y↑2

do u happen to know what was the update

@Alovatololo

3y↑112

That fifth story is something I've seen a few times. Age gaps in homosexual relationships, I think, are a bit more common and a bit more equal. The younger usually gains from the experience and support. And the older is usually healed by the acceptance and empathy. It's pretty common to have the older as someone who was closeted who struggled with acceptance and identity, which is tough for everyone but even more so for LGBT+ youth. I've actually been wondering about this dynamic a lot lately because as cultures become more accepting I wonder if the number of age gap relationships will decline.

@TwoHotTakes

3y↑19

This is so interesting to think about... I have a few gay family members and one has a significant age gap and your point really fits with her case.!

@leo9597

2y↑5

i would be interested to find out if they came out at a similar time. not a similar age, but like both came out 5 years ago or something. i think for queer people, since a lot of maturing and experience can happen after you come out, it would lessen the impact of an age gap. i could be totally off but i would be interested to find out

@Alovatololo

2y↑1

@Kai Pope from what I remember in the 2 relationships I'm more familiar with the olders were both out before they met the younger ones. One of them, "Bill", was out for 10 years. In the second one, "Steve", was out for 1 year.

Edit: it was 10 and 1 year with respect to their partner. At this point all 4 have been out a minimum of 12 years.

@catherinewalker2275

2y↑3

gay/lesbian age gap relationships also seem to generally have less power imbalance issues too (obv not always the case but...) and at least part of the reason due to being the same gender and no trad gender roles applying

@karlav5133

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@tcfan80

26w↑1

2nd story: Parent said they learned when the relationship actually started & that they chose not to press charges. That leads me to think it def started before she was 18. 💔 Also, 2 happy homes are ALWAYS better than 1 unhappy/toxic home; and single parent households can be very healthy for a child.
Never would I EVER sign a prenup. Ik how blessed I am that my man wants to provide for me, my child, and his children.

@blinkmenfg3

3y↑15

Me and my bf have a 20 year age gap. I’m 36 and he’s 56. We just celebrated our 7 year anniversary. Honestly, the best/happiest/healthiest relationship I have ever been with ❤️

@sgtigereye

3y↑57

Honestly I doubt they were only together for 3 years, they probably only admitted to three years because it would incriminate him.

@ThePicapas

1y↑2

My parents have a 20 year age gap, my father was 43 and she was 23, got married, had a healthy 25 years of marriage before he passed away. My mom had an amazing father who loved and cherished her. (No “daddy issues”). This kind of love exists, its valid and normal.

@ThePicapas

1y↑1

Also my mom was a stay at home wife/mom and my dad provided. No “unequal powerpositions” but two partners who worked together on their home and family

@sad-womeninthehouse4249

3y↑135

My parents are divorced and they both married someone way younger than them, the difference? My mom married someone 11 years younger than her but when they met they met as business partners and my step dad was already completely independent and was in his late 20s, he was already a a full person and not susceptible to manipulation. My dad on the other hand (who is a little older than my mom) met his now wife and mother of a year old child, as a house tenant, he rented a room to her in his Arizona house (he lived and lives in San Francisco) she was 17! She dropped out of school (which isn’t even that bad but it was worrying at the time) Istg I’m more mature than her and I’m 15, not only that both my older siblings are older than her.

@sweetie_babie

I'm confused about the timeline? You say you're 15 and have older siblings, which would dictate your parents are at least in their mid to late 30s, but you said your step dad is 11 years older than your mom... but he's in his late 20s... which would make your mom a teenager... but you're a teenager... so I'm confused. Did the divorce happen when you were way younger than you are now? That's the only way it would make sense

@sad-womeninthehouse4249

@Lorena Martinez oh shit AJJAJAJAJJAJA i wrote it wrong

@sad-womeninthehouse4249

My mom married someone younger

@sweetie_babie

@ylicortes oh okay lol

@andymiraculous

2y↑3

I hope that we hear a story soon where the family friend in 2nd story goes missing. That’s so disgusting. He’s definitely been grooming her for longer than they admitted and the pregnancy feels like his way to chain her to him

@amandaxjune613

3y↑559

The second story 🤢 he literally groomed her since she was 1

@slowdisco2741

3y↑94

Agree and how come they don't view each other as brother and sister, they somehow grew up together :/

@amandaxjune613

3y↑26

@slow disco seriously, it’s just all around a messed up situation

@kungfugirl64

3y↑19

I understand having feelings for one another because after all they are not family, I am dating my brother's BFF and we practically grew up together although he is 9 years older than me. We started talking last year during a wedding, me 24 him 33, and after that we hanged out more and more. WHAT I don't agree with is that she was only 18! There was something going on before and we all know it.

@emilymcpherson1320

3y↑12

Major woody Allen vibes here 🤮

@haleytuite8273

2y↑5

1 billion percent messed around before 18 ))):

2 More Replies...

@oliviamaggio4325

3y↑11

I recently moved to a new city so I don't have many friends, and when you add a pandemic I don't really have an opportunity to even try making new friends. I love watching you guys cause it feels like i'm just hanging out with some girlfriends. Thanks for being so warm and inviting! I love all the topics you guys discuss!

@oliviamay614

3y↑9

The older you get the less an age gap matters. A 50 year old with a 62 year old is so inert but a 12 year old with a 24 year old…dangerous.

@mikkat8613

44w↑2

I met my wife wen I was 18 and she was 28. We met in a really specific way. We were both in the military, straight out of bootcamp. We became FWB because you already know how bootcamp was lmao and we eventually became friends. We didn’t ask eachothers ages until we we’re already banging, I thought she was 20 because she has a baby face and she thought I was 25 because of how I carried myself ect. We ended up dating a few months later when I was 19 and got married in dec when I was 20. I’m now 21 and she’s 30 and we’re still together. A lot of people online seem to assume the older person is always a groomer but it’s not always the case. I was the first person younger than her she’s ever dated and At the time I viewed a lot of the people around my age as immature children, they were going to school while I was focusing on advancing in my career, paying bills, saving money for a house surgery and I immigration, ect so we were in a similar state of mind

@elisecox8785

3y↑35

I feel like these dark stories aren’t really about age gaps, but instead power dynamics and different compatibilities due to socio economic status. Age gaps themselves aren’t bad, I for one, know I’ll probably never date someone my own age

@Lauren-ib3ok

Exactly!! Nailed it :)

@Ashley-ih2ym

3y↑6

there's a couple here on YouTube that I'm subscribed to, and thy have a significant age gap. but they have such comforting and wholesome content and you can tell they both truly love each other. their relationship definitely made me think about age gaps differently.

@Lilangee25

3y↑52

I just binged everything on your channel and had nothing else to watch. Thank you so much 🙏🏻💕✨

@idkimjustdarkfudgelol6896

3y↑3

Same

@ashleydawn517

3y↑7

My ex-stepmom’s relative babysat us (starting at 4) and was a part of our lives. When I turned 18 he told me “I always knew you would be an independent woman like this.” Then proceeded to try to pay me to date him.

@lexys.6640

3y↑7

Anyone else think this is the best pod cast ever!? Thank you so much for taking time to edit and make this. Morgan I'm honestly wishing you the best with your debt and that this podcast gets all the love it truly desires. I love taking an hour out of my day listening to stories and hearing your opinion on it. Best of luck! Will definitely be here tuning in🥰🤗

@mara2825

2y↑4

My college roommate graduated high school with a girl that was a underaged nanny for a family and they would take her on trips with them, when she turned 18 the dad started having an affair with her and then left the wife. And the nanny now has the children call her mom… Always thought it was so weird and judged her, but the dad absolutely must have been grooming her when she was the nanny. I wonder if they’re still together…

@Fluffycara

1y↑2

The 3rd story hits me hard. I was in the same exact boat. But my now ex didn't want me to rely on my parents at all. He also had a lot of other unrealistic stipulations to me moving in, like getting a job in my field straight out of college (I was an art major, and didn't like it anymore). Now I realize he didn't respect me at all. We were dating for 3 1/2 years and he broke up with me over the phone. Good riddance.

@sacredangel2146

28w

This will be a long comment. What morgan was saying in the 2nd to last story made me think that relationships are kinda like addictions. I have also been in a relationship that some people in my life hate and I have chosen to distance myself from because I love him and we have been together now for almost 9 years. I've often thought about cutting my dad off due to his dislike of my fiancee and refusal to accept him but he is still my dad some of my friends have even told me to do so because my fiancee is amazing to me but I am not ready to cut him off. Relationships are very similar to addictions in the way that YOU have to decide you're done. It is emotionally alot to handle and I'm sure one day I'll make my decision but it does seem like obligation/addictive thoughts have some simularities.

@aubreymerrick6917

3y↑5

I’ve binged all your podcasts and now I keep up 🤣 they’re so funny and relatable and I always find myself agreeing with you guys!

@TheSuperNarwhalrus

2y↑4

I'm late to the party, but I'd also like to add that, in the first story, the fact that her parents passed away may be a reason why she gets along better with an older man. Speaking as someone who's had older, terminally ill parents my whole life and has watched both of my remaining grandparents and my mom pass away by the age of twenty-two, it ages you mentally. I have plenty of friends my age, but the vast majority of them seem really immature and short sighted to me... I just have a very different perspective on life after experiencing so much death, so I could completely imagine feeling more comfortable with someone who is older and has had similar experiences. Not to mention it typically causes you to be much more self-sufficient and self-assured from a much younger age...

@allisonsmith7670

1y↑3

As someone who got married at 21 you just need to find someone who you feel you can grow and change with without worrying your feelings will change.

@reallyrics3177

1y↑2

I have a big age gap with a younger man & I find it So embarrassing. We have a great relationship & I don’t feel I should give it up because of other people but I am so embarrassed and cringing about it in front of people.

@Roxxxxxxxer

3y↑4

Love you girls so happy I found you through tiktok! This is definitely my favorite podcast to listen while working 😊

@ShaniLee616

3y↑5

Two friends of mine have a significant age gap between them actually so this topic intrigued me. One is 40 and the other is 25. Normally, this would greatly gross me out and concern me (I'm 28 and only ever dated 3yrs above as an adult). But they had both come out last year after being in straight marriages and are both quite mature women that can take care of themselves (full time jobs, finances are great, etc it's equal). I knew them both before they got together and saw it all blossom within deep chats in our group chat. It's honestly beautiful seeing them together so I don't think about it until someone mentions ages. The older one is usually the most concerned about what people think, despite it being the younger one who did the "chasing".

The age gap debate is a tricky one. But I like what Morgan & Lauren had said about being in similar head spaces and chapters of your lives, that no one is being taken advantage of.

I also had a friend who was in a long term relationship, starting when she was 14 and he was 24... though it was brutally abusive and no adults (teachers, parents, police, no one) stepped in to help her because when she hit 16, at that point it was considered consenting (16 is the legal age to have s*x which is wild to me in Australia) so people were quite until she hit that age and that was the excuse. Even though people knew about it when she was 14... She's 27 now and is still suffering from the trauma...

So two different age gaps, two different scenarios... hard to be black and white on the topic.

@charliehatch288

2y↑24

I’m ten years older and I had a very frank convo with my partner once we realised we were both attracted to each other. It’s largely been about making sure she has support networks not based on me. That she knows she can talk to her family and confidants about anything to do with me. And making sure equally that her family all know they are welcome in our lives. We have now been together for 3 years, and I can confidently say we are both in it for the long haul.
At the end of the day, anything negatively assumed about me was just people worrying and caring for the person I love, so it’s on me to prove them right or wrong. The consequences of me being a bad guy are too dangerous ya know? 🤷‍♂️

@ralegade7710

Exactly! Honestly, if a woman’s father is involved, there really shouldn’t be a problem. A lot of age gap relationships fail because the woman is typically without guidance and doesn’t know what she’s doing at all.

@seaurchin4451

Update? Y’all still together? 👀

@charliehatch288

29w

@@seaurchin4451still together ❤ celebrated 4 years in August

@lyndsiewinchester4810

1y↑3

My parents are 16 years apart (Dad is older), and they’ve been married for almost 26 years now. They met when my mom was 26 and my dad was 42 because they worked in the same building, literally dated for a few weeks before moving in together, got married like 3 months later 😂 sometimes it’s just right 🤷🏻‍♀️

@gdc1342

2y↑1

love love love lauren, she seems like such a down to earth and kind friend:} her commentary is A+

@Gibby1919

3y↑2

I’ve literally binge watched this pod like a Netflix show. I LOVE it…been suggesting it to everyone lol. It’s so nice to see someone in the same stage of life on a podcast and discussing things…. Can’t wait to see more eps! So sad I’m already all the way through them.

@insertclevername07

3y↑69

For the 500k guy, I have always believed that bills should be split based on how much of the household income you make. You make 80% of the combine household income, you pay 80% of the bills. My mother went into debt when she had me bc she had to go to part time at work and still pay half the bills, even though my father could have easily covered more of the bills.

@zolabluebell5765

1y↑2

My fiancé and I met when I was 21 and he was 38, he was successful in his career and I was flat broke trying to get back into college. He’s been my biggest support and always talks about ‘building independent Zola’. He helped sustain me while I found therapy and got my feet back under me. I’ve always been more mature for my age and he and I connect on many levels despite the gap. The gap makes it fun tho when I show him more gen Z shows, movies, music, and the latest lingo. He shows me classics he grew up with. We balance each other well and my therapist, tho skeptical at first, now believes a lot of my success in my mental health journey is in no small part due to the loving and supportive relationship I have. Not all age gaps, even large ones, are bad..

Disclaimer- I know what grooming is and I think it’s awful. That’s not what happened in my case but I know it’s common. Also at the beginning of our relationship I was constantly checking in with myself to be sure I was falling in love with the person and not falling into an imbalanced relationship playing on any daddy issues I could have.

@dailynncook1117

2y↑5

2nd story: I'm also a mother as a product of being groomed. I was 17 when the "relationship" started and he was my 37 year old boss. I for pregnant 3 months after my 18th birthday. My daughter is now 4 and he has 0 rights to her. I hate that one day ill have to explain to her that her biological dad was a creep.

@AtillatheFun

How was he a creep? 16 is the age of consent in most states, and most parts of the world. You were 17 and you made a decision. Deal with it. Stop blaming others for the regret you have. You could have said no, gotten an abortion, or just used protection.

@Dennis-nc3vw

You made a bad decision and blame your age. If you were 18, there's a 99% chance you would have done the same thing. People get manipulated into bad decisions by people close to their age all the time, they just don't blame the age gap when it happens.

@makaylabost2054

2y↑8

I wanna add that age gaps can be damaging I was 14 he was 17 and I will say definitely was daddy issues but anyways it’s not huge but it was the most traumatizing relationship ever I’m 18 now and even when I was 17 dating someone who was 14 was unthinkable we are at VERY different points in our life idk age gaps are bad when they are predatory

@ralegade7710

The problem is you weren’t raised to be dating at 14. You were just out there Willy nilly. Had your parents been involved and you were actually dating with intent. And you had better social structures in place to help you understand the differences between a 17 year old male and a 14 year old female, it probably should’ve been more successful. That being said, 14 is a little young. 16 and 19 probably would’ve been more appropriate.

@Dennis-nc3vw

How well do you think relationships between two 14 year olds tend to turn out?

@charlyeerogers3991

29w↑1

I am in an age gap relationship and the first story makes me so sad for her. Both of our families are very supportive and very involved in our lives. We do get people taking second glances a lot and judging but for her MIL to do this is just so heartbreaking. Just because there is an age gap doesn’t necessarily mean that there isn’t love there. His grandparents got together when they were 13 and almost 18. They married when she was 16 and they’ve been together for 60 years. Love is not a number.

@maggiepierce1341

3y↑17

My parents have a 22 year age gap and are still married for more than 25 years. They met when she was mid 20's. Both had previous relationships that didn't work out. Sometimes you can't choose who you fall in love with.

@alexandrafinnegan8343

Is it hard for you? Just curious.

@maggiepierce1341

2y↑1

@Alexandra Finnegan I got alot of teasing for it as a child, but I learnt to live with it. Some people didn't understand and make weird remarks, which I ignored over the years. Now society has changed their thinking or somewhat. My parents are still going strong.

@hannahfowler2575

2y↑1

I absolutely love this podcast.
Always positive vibes ❤️☀️

@jadensiegel1927

21w

honestly my take is that it really depends on the person and situation. im 18 engaged to a 30 year old. i was living on my own fully supporting myself for years and 2 years out of school and into a career plus all over just always been alot more mature than the average 18 year old (due to lots and lots of trauma if we’re being honest haha). i was looking for marriage and kids when we met. my family and friends love her and same with her family and friends towards me. no one who knows us has ever viewed our relationship as weird or predatory. were both at the same place in life as weird as it may sound to some so theirs no power dynamics between us. we both make relatively the same amount of money, we both want the same things and just connect in the most amazing way. we just recently bought a home together as well. my family’s response to her was “well you always liked them older lmao” and every conversation since with them ends in can you just marry her already 🤣 our ages never really ever come up to be honest and tbh most of the time i forget shes older. when we first met she thought i was in my early/mid 20s and i thought she was like 23 lol. it just really depends if the situation had been different if i had been still in school or not supporting my own i would completely agree that a relationship should not have happened but with where were both at i and those close to us agree theirs nothing wrong with our relationship and tbh its the healthiest and happiest relationship either of us have ever had!

@NoName-zb1gm

25w

I'm in my 50s and have become friendly with a girl in her 20s at work. There seems to be a connection based on mutual attraction and laughter and mutual respect and admiration for each other's unique life experiences. I'm impressed she'll talk to managers 20 years older with no problem and she seems to have a wisdom many women even my age don't have. I think she wants a man to lead her and be emotionally strong so I make it a point to not make things awkward which can be a challenge because one thing said or done can be taken the wrong way.

@Emily-jd9oh

3y↑7

I genuinely don't understand how this show isn't more popular 🧐

@mndyD9

32w

That 2nd story gives Woody Allen 😅
Age gaps can get real creepy, real quick lol. Love listening to this podcast and see Morgan & her guest’s reactions! ❤ Glad I found Two Hot Takes!

@Mina_Meow

1y↑1

love that you discussed this so nuanced and didn't just judge by the ages, it's really the circumstances that matter more than the actual age gap
(the biggest red flag was the one knowing her from childhood on though, that one made me feel sick)

I'm in an age gap relationship with a younger guy myself and I'm so much happier than with my ex, who was about my age, it really depends on how you treat each other and how well your values and view on life allign

I agree tho that it's important to have a balanced power dynamic, we achieve that in the way that age and money and stuff rarely matter when we're together, it's about the personality and being attentive, valuing and positive to each other

I'm sure the dynamic will change a bit when we move in together but I hope we will handle it well

@brookewinter2536

3y↑2

I have never been into this kinda thing but I just adore the way both your mind work. So I could not help but follow along on your adventure. I love what you guys are doing and look forward to each episode. Also do not worth about the math, I can't math on the spot either.

@TaylorLee

3y↑3

My boyfriend and I have a 12 year age gap. I’m 25 and he’s 37, and I don’t even see our age gap anymore. We get along very well, we share the same morals and I love his outlook on life. There are things that we don’t get to share such as music and pop culture/movie references but we share things with each other that benefit the both of us. I wouldn’t have it any other way 🥰

@marisaanna

3y↑5

Eagerly await each episode. I live for you and all your cohosts 😄

@tessmcclennan5976

3y↑13

gotta love lauren knowing her boundaries at the end of the text thread

@Lauren-ib3ok

3y↑1

Hahahahaha love this comment

@tessmcclennan5976

3y↑1

@Lauren Rolfe omg you've replied twice, totally fan girling aha

@Lauren-ib3ok

3y↑1

@Tess Mcclennan hahaha you’re the best 🥰

@alondrasoltero9412

3y↑3

Love your podcast! Ran into it on tik tok and have really enjoyed listening to the full stories and your feedback on the scenarios.

@brittanycains6797

I just found y’all! I’m completely obsessed and Lauren I seriously love you! Never have I ever thought you came off dumb! Math is hard ladies! Morgan thank you for doing this! You’re amazing! My husband and I both have been listening non stop! I hope this podcast pops off in the biggest and best way! 🖤 becoming y’all’s biggest fan!

@lo_barry_

3y↑2

I love your channel 😍 binged everything and my lazy self appreciates you finding/reading me all the best Reddit posts so I don’t have to

@kirstenmckelvey2637

3y↑1

i love this podcast so much! i look forward to it every week and i hope you guys continue to grow

@Lighthousegamer

3y↑8

This was the first episode I watched, I have been in full attention mode the whole time. Loved it!

@TwoHotTakes

Yay!! So happy you liked it 🙌🏼🎉

@rosie7453

3y↑141

about the prenup things, it isn't just about protecting your stuff from your spouse its also about protecting it from the government. if your spouse dies the government can claim likes taxes and shit but if you have a prenup it protects your money from that

@1sTEfFaniE1

3y↑15

It can also protect any future children you have.

@Bermanl8

3y↑14

they can also protect the inheritance of current children they have from a pervious marriage

@hjt5894

I always used to think age gaps weren't a problem. My first bf was 7 years older, my second 10. The second one fully changed my mind. The thing you said about trauma aging you and making you an "old soul" was definitely true for me and unfortunately he really took advantage of that and the natural power imbalance. I still think there can be positive age gap relationships but if you're already weak through trauma unfortunately you seem mature enough to date but there are enough older people who want to take advantage that it just isnt worth the risk.

@8AmazingAcres

I was listening to this while I was shopping in Costco and I laughed out loud and looked like a crazy person lol love your content!

@YceIceBaby

35w

I'm in an 11 year age gap relationship, and this has been the healthiest relationship for the both of us. Saying that, I was higher earning than him when we met and helped him get to where he is now and that's how we are still. Just helping each other grow in every aspect that we can.

@howaboutkimchi9426

2y↑1

I never thought I’d say it but I’m in a 10 yr age gap situationship and it’s changed my view on dating older guys. I was always weirded out by couples with huge age gaps and I still definitely draw the line at the other person being old enough to have been my parent lol. I’m 25 and my current partner is 35 and so far it’s all been going really smooth. He’s really mature and good at communicating so even if we come upon a conflict we both handle it calmly and with mutual respect, which is very refreshing after my previous relationship🤡 He settles me down and I bring up the playful side in him and the more we get to know each other the more we talk and honestly have a lot in common.It might as well be the personality thing and it might not apply to all guys but, coming from someone who was completely heartbroken by some immature a55hole who shut me down constantly over a period of months and got me on emotional and mental rollercoaster cause it was too hard for him to just try talk things out- also seeing my friends deal with heartbreak over very similar a55holes- sometimes the guys our age, simply aren’t mature enough, at least not in the emotional aspect. So after getting your heart broken by some kid, maybe try getting with someone older. A mature, respectful and experienced partner might be just what you need.

@crownford00

1y↑2

Had an ex who was very vocal about his mommy issues and that should have been the first red flag 😓

@doombuggy123

3y↑56

Age gaps are a power imbalance. Inherently. I’m not saying bully people for their relationships, but just because people are in similar phases of their life doesn’t mean that a huge age gap doesn’t create a power imbalance.

@BrookeAlona

3y↑2

I wouldn’t quite agree with that. Definitely understand what you’re saying, but I’ve almost always had 6+ years between my partners and I, and it’s just not something that is ever brought up. I’m my own financially independent person, and so are they. The age doesn’t play into our relationship at all, because we don’t even realize it’s there.

@triniquigley7094

3y↑6

@Brooke Burbank you can ignore the difference in life experience that comes with age, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t there.

@BrookeAlona

3y↑1

@Trini Quigley I don’t really think I ignore it? I mean there’s always a possibility that I’m doing something and I don’t realize it, though I don’t think that’s the case. I’ve dated people my age and it’s always ended in a toxic way and I always end up supporting them in every way, so I date a bit older because we feel like equals. Not saying this is always the case, because it definitely isn’t, I’m just sharing my experience 🤷🏻‍♀️

@lizzysmith8513

it’s also a lot differently for younger girls dating older boys because girls mature more quickly than boys and are at a similar mental state despite a 3-4 year age gap

@mattiepierce7308

2y↑6

@Lizzy Smith this isn’t necessarily true. Women are forced to grow up faster but I don’t think we’re actually more mature, just traumatized and playing the part we’re given

1 More Replies...

@edwinbowling7457

The old soul thing hit me really hard. Especially combined with the fact that all my relationships have been with much older (10-23yr difference) men. I wish I had heard you when I was in my teens. You are SO right! Almost all of my relationships were definitely power trips on their part. Especially the ones when I was in my late teens- early twenties. Granted, I was not a student. I had a full time career, but there is still the kind of “I’ve been around and you’re just young and naive “ kind of attitude. And because I tried to be what they said I should be I never got to find out who I really am. So now I’m almost 50 and trying to figure out who I am. And BTW, at 50, you can’t use that as an excuse…..that’s an excuse for when your like 23…..JMHO

@brittanyanderson2280

2y↑1

I’m in an age gap relationship, he is 16 years my senior. I am almost 32 and he is 47, it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. While it’s still new, it’s been fun, communicative and loving. It has changed my views on how I can be treated forever. The only age gap ones that are alarming is when there is grooming and abuse or control involved.

@PepermintButterflies

Y'all are so interesting to listen to, I love your dynamic so much and I'm super impressed that y'all are so new to this. Keep it up, I'm stoked to see what else y'all discuss

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