Offensive Language
George Carlin Lyrics


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Thank you, thank you, welcome to our show. Don't you think it's just a little bit strange that Ronald Reagan had an operation on his asshole and George Bush had an operation on his middle finger. Huh? Huh? What are these two men trying to tell us?

Now I'd like to begin tonight with an opening announcement: Because of the FCC, I'm never sure what it is I'm allowed to say. So..so, I now have my own official policy: This is the language you will not be hearing tonight.

You will not hear me say: bottom line, game plan, role model, scenario, or hopefully. I will not kick back, mellow out, or be on a roll. I will not go for it and I will not check it out; I don't even know what it is. And when I leave here I definitely will not boogie. I promise not to refer to anyone as a class act, a beautiful person or a happy camper. I will also not be saying "what a guy." And you will not hear me refer to anyone's lifestyle. If you want to know what a moronic word "lifestyle" is, all you have to do is realize that in a technical sense, Atilla the Hun had an active outdoor lifestyle. I will also not be saying any cute things like "moi." And I will not use the French adverb "tre" to modify any English adjectives. Such as "tre awesome," "tre gnarly," "tre fabou," "tre intense," or "tre out-of-sight." I will not say concept when I mean idea. I will not say impacted when I mean affected. There will be no hands-on state-of-the-art networking. We will not maximize, prioritize, or finalize...and we definitely will not interface. There will also...there will also be no new-age lingo spoken here tonight. No support-group jargon from the human potential movement. For instance, I will not share anything with you. I will not relate to you and you will not identify with me. I will give you no input, and I will expect no feedback. This will not be a learning experience, nor will it be a growth period. There'll be no sharing, no caring, no birthing, no bonding, no parenting, no nurturing. We will not establish a relationship, we will not have any meaningful dialogue and we definitely will not spend any quality time. We will not be supportive of one another, so that we can get in touch with our feelings in order to feel good about ourselves. And if you're one of those people who needs a little space...please...go the fuck outside.




Overall Meaning

George Carlin's "Offensive Language" is a satirical commentary on the use of meaningless, corporate lingo and the censorship of language in society. Throughout the performance, Carlin lists off various words and phrases that he refuses to use, poking fun at their overuse and lack of substance. He also makes a political statement by mentioning the surgeries that former US presidents Ronald Reagan and George Bush had, suggesting that their actions and attitudes may have been reflected in their physical ailments.


Carlin's refusal to use certain words and phrases highlights the absurdity of corporate jargon and the way in which it can be used to manipulate and deceive people. By refusing to conform to this language, Carlin is taking a stand against the homogenization of our language and the blandness of our conversations. He is also making a statement about the importance of free speech and the need to resist censorship and control.


Overall, "Offensive Language" is a brilliant commentary on the state of language in modern society. Through his use of humor, satire, and wit, George Carlin highlights the absurdity of meaningless corporate jargon and the importance of free speech and individual expression.


Line by Line Meaning

Don't you think it's just a little bit strange that Ronald Reagan had an operation on his asshole and George Bush had an operation on his middle finger. Huh? Huh? What are these two men trying to tell us?
It's unusual that two presidents had surgeries on such unusual body parts. What message could they be sending us with these choices?


Because of the FCC, I'm never sure what it is I'm allowed to say. So..so, I now have my own official policy: This is the language you will not be hearing tonight.
The FCC's censorship rules are unclear, so I've made my own rules for tonight's show. Here's a list of words and phrases that I won't use.


You will not hear me say: bottom line, game plan, role model, scenario, or hopefully. I will not kick back, mellow out, or be on a roll. I will not go for it and I will not check it out; I don't even know what it is. And when I leave here I definitely will not boogie. I promise not to refer to anyone as a class act, a beautiful person or a happy camper. I will also not be saying "what a guy."
Here's a list of common and overused expressions and slang that I won't be using during the show. They're cliches and don't add real value to language or communication.


And you will not hear me refer to anyone's lifestyle. If you want to know what a moronic word "lifestyle" is, all you have to do is realize that in a technical sense, Atilla the Hun had an active outdoor lifestyle.
The word "lifestyle" is used too often to describe someone's choices and habits that are really just normal parts of life. Anyone can have a lifestyle, even a brutal conqueror like Atilla the Hun.


I will also not be saying any cute things like "moi." And I will not use the French adverb "tre" to modify any English adjectives. Such as "tre awesome," "tre gnarly," "tre fabou," "tre intense," or "tre out-of-sight."
Using foreign phrases and humor that don't translate well into other languages is pointless and annoying. I won't be doing that, either.


I will not say concept when I mean idea. I will not say impacted when I mean affected. There will be no hands-on state-of-the-art networking. We will not maximize, prioritize, or finalize...and we definitely will not interface.
Using buzzwords and technical language in everyday speech only serves to obfuscate and confuse rather than clarify. I won't be doing that tonight, either.


There will also...there will also be no new-age lingo spoken here tonight. No support-group jargon from the human potential movement. For instance, I will not share anything with you. I will not relate to you and you will not identify with me. I will give you no input, and I will expect no feedback. This will not be a learning experience, nor will it be a growth period. There'll be no sharing, no caring, no birthing, no bonding, no parenting, no nurturing. We will not establish a relationship, we will not have any meaningful dialogue and we definitely will not spend any quality time. We will not be supportive of one another, so that we can get in touch with our feelings in order to feel good about ourselves.
The new-age emphasis on feelings, self-care, and emotional bonding can be overdone and fake. I won't be engaging in any of that language tonight. We won't be establishing any kind of personal connection, either.


And if you're one of those people who needs a little space...please...go the fuck outside.
If you need some personal time or space, don't expect anyone to cater to your needs. Just go outside and get some fresh air.




Contributed by Jeremiah V. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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