Disorder
Goldfinger Lyrics


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My little story's
Growing way too long
I've had to suffer
Enough to write this song
And if I get the chance
I'll tell you how it feels
Cause in this sick old head
The pain is way to real
So I fall down
I don't know
If I can make it up this time

I know I want to but it gets
Harder every time
And if it's easier
To give up everything
I'd give it all to you
To relieve half this pain

Cause it's been hard
Yeah it's been hard

I sit there at the bar
I wonder what I've done
Should I just fuck it all

Or should I
Go back home
Cause if I take that drink
I might as well just die




And if I kill myself
I'd be giving up my try

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Goldfinger's "Disorder" convey the emotional turmoil and personal suffering of the singer. The first stanza establishes the idea of the singer's life story becoming overwhelmingly long and burdened with suffering. They express a deep desire to share their pain with someone else, yet they also acknowledge the inability to express the intensity of pain they feel in their mind. The repetition of "I fall down" and "it's been hard" reveals the internal battle of the singer and suggest they are fighting depression or anxiety.


The second stanza brings the listener to the scene of the singer sitting at a bar, contemplating a destructive life. There is an internal dialogue as the singer considers the consequences of their actions. There is a theme of hopelessness, the idea that the singer believes they will never be able to recover from their pain. The final line, "And if I kill myself, I'd be giving up my try", demonstrates the internal conflict the singer is feeling, as they recognize suicide as a way out but also know it means they are giving up on themselves. This lyric is part of the message of the song, it is okay to be vulnerable and seek help, it takes courage to ask for help rather than resorting to alcohol, drugs or suicide.


Line by Line Meaning

My little story's
I am about to share my personal experience and it's an important one.


Growing way too long
My experience has been long and full of hardships that I can't handle anymore.


I've had to suffer
My experience has been filled with pain and sadness.


Enough to write this song
My experience has inspired me to write this emotional song.


And if I get the chance
If I get the opportunity to share this experience, I will.


I'll tell you how it feels
I will describe how my experience feels in order to let others know what they may be able to relate to.


Cause in this sick old head
My mind is in a bad place due to my experiences.


The pain is way too real
The hurt and sorrow I feel are extremely intense.


So I fall down
The weight of my experiences makes me feel weak and defeated.


I don't know
I'm uncertain of my ability to overcome these challenges.


If I can make it up this time
I'm unsure if I'll be able to move past this difficult point in my life.


I know I want to but it gets
Despite the difficulties I face, I desire to keep going forward.


Harder every time
Each time I face hardships, they become harder to bear.


And if it's easier
If it were easier to escape my pain, I might consider doing so.


To give up everything
to abandon all I have worked for and all that I am.


I'd give it all to you
If it would ease half of my pain, I would gladly give up everything I possess or have accomplished.


To relieve half this pain
If I could experience only half of the pain I currently feel, it would be a relief.


Cause it's been hard
My life has been very difficult because of all that I've gone through.


Yeah it's been hard
And it continues to be difficult every day.


I sit there at the bar
As I try to manage my pain, I sit at the bar, drinking.


I wonder what I've done
I contemplate whether or not I've done something to deserve so much pain/sorrow.


Should I just fuck it all
Perhaps giving up might make the pain go away.


Or should I
Or perhaps I should keep trying to deal with my problems.


Go back home
Instead of continuing to drink at the bar, I should return home to try and deal with what's causing me pain.


Cause if I take that drink
I know that drinking will only make things worse.


I might as well just die
Drinking will not help me, it's only a way to cope temporarily.


And if I kill myself
If I give up and take my own life, I'm essentially accepting defeat.


I'd be giving up my try
I would be giving up on trying to move past my struggles.




Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: CHARLIE PAULSON, JOHN FELDMANN

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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