I WONDER
Gowe Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
with a plus at the tip of the tube
Sick as she threw up
with a cup take a sip of abuse
So she gets nervous
cause her man left her
After the sex and he jets
she thought that he loved her
and shes a bit conscious
About her dress
and the reflection of her own image
Timid in speech
shes limited given a week
With her tummy blowing up
so that people can see
But she decides to keep it
said no to abortion
The feet kicks in her stomach
comes without a warning
She feels the pain though
cause her parents cry
And the shame eats her alive
when she closed her eyes
Then the day comes
she gives birth to a son
Kim Sung-Hoon soon
she holds and kisses her love
Wishing it never ended
taking a mental picture
Hoping through the tears
that her son would have a better future
I wonder if theres a smile
on your face
Sometimes I miss you
and long for your embrace
I never could thank you
enough for holding on
Dear mama mama mama
forever, I'll hold you in my heart
So she wonders
what happened to her son next
Is there clothes on his back
food on his plate whats the context
The recollection of the day
replays in her mindset
And the ways she would try
but just never could forget
Well he's okay
and he resides in the states
A needle in space in which rain
makes it a beautiful place
Embraced by the culture
and he's loved by all the members
Until he turns 18
and his world get flipped
He hears that his mom is not actually
his and that complications
Prevented her from having
any kids and his real mom
Is actually Korean and she had
to give him up for adoption
Cause she was young
and was a student
Lost and was confused and
wrestling in the moment
Am I Chinese or Korean?
Am I destined in this union?
And if I am what's the purpose?
I jot it in my verses
So I replay it in my mind as
I think about you
I wonder if theres a smile
on your face
Sometimes I miss you
and long for your embrace
I never could thank you
enough for holding on
Dear mama mama mama
forever, I'll hold you in my heart
If I could write a letter
and know that you would read it
I would tell you that I never once
in my heart felt hatred
Reinstated I would play a song
and dance with you
Hold your hand as I thank
the Lord for creating you
As strong as you are
cause in my mind I can't fathom
The pain and the guilt
when all you heard was their gossip
And still you stuck through it
when they called you foolish
And with this gift
that I possess your probably loved music
I hope you're doing well
I hope some day you'll see this
I hope I mean I really hope
that you know Jesus on a deeper level
Seeking just to know Him better
I hope in perfect timing we can
See the reason clearer
I hope you're smiling now
I hope I cross your mind
I hope you never second guess
If what you did was right
cause I'm so proud of you
I love and admire you
so after all these years
this is my way of telling you
I wonder if theres a smile
on your face
Sometimes I miss you
and long for your embrace
I never could thank you
enough for holding on
Dear mama mama mama
forever, I'll hold you in my heart
I wonder if theres a smile
on your face
Sometimes I miss you
and long for your embrace
I never could thank you
enough for holding on
Dear mama mama mama
forever, I'll hold you in my heart
Gowe's song "I Wonder" explores the complex story of a young Korean woman who becomes pregnant at the age of 18 and decides to keep the baby despite societal pressures. The lyrics detail her struggles with sickness, shame, and confusion as she navigates this difficult situation alone. However, she eventually gives birth to a son whom she names Kim Sung-Hoon and loves dearly. The song then takes a twist as it follows the life of Kim Sung-Hoon, who grows up in the United States and discovers through a painful revelation that he was adopted and his real mother is actually Korean. The song ends with Gowe expressing his admiration and love for his birth mother and hoping that they will be able to reunite someday.
The first verse of the song focuses on the pregnant woman's story and the challenges she faces. Her mind is "confused" as she deals with the news of her pregnancy and the "plus at the tip of the tube." She experiences sickness and abuse as she tries to cope with her situation. She is left alone after her sexual partner leaves her, leading her to question if he ever really loved her. As an 18-year-old, she is self-conscious and worried about her appearance, which is compounded by the fact that her tummy is growing and soon people will be able to see her pregnancy. Despite all of these challenges, she decides to keep the baby and says no to abortion.
The second verse shifts to Kim Sung-Hoon's story and the discovery that his birth mother is actually Korean. He grapples with questions of identity and purpose as he reflects on his life and the circumstances of his adoption. Throughout the song, Gowe expresses his deep appreciation and respect for these two women who he calls "mama mama mama." He hopes that one day they will be able to reunite and that they both understand how much he loves and admires them.
Line by Line Meaning
Her mind was confused
She was mentally troubled
with a plus at the tip of the tube
She was pregnant
Sick as she threw up
She felt nauseous and vomited
with a cup take a sip of abuse
She resorted to substance abuse
So she gets nervous
She becomes anxious
cause her man left her
Her partner abandoned her
After the sex and he jets
He left after they had sex
she thought that he loved her
She had feelings for him
You see shes 18
She is a young adult
and shes a bit conscious
She is self-aware
About her dress
She is concerned about her appearance
and the reflection of her own image
She is critical of her own reflection
Timid in speech
She is hesitant while speaking
shes limited given a week
She has a short amount of time
With her tummy blowing up
Her stomach is swollen
so that people can see
It's visible to others
But she decides to keep it
She chooses to carry the baby to term
said no to abortion
She refused to have an abortion
The feet kicks in her stomach
The baby moves and kicks
comes without a warning
It is sudden
She feels the pain though
She experiences physical pain
cause her parents cry
Her parents are upset
And the shame eats her alive
She feels guilty and embarrassed
when she closed her eyes
She thinks about it when she tries to sleep
Then the day comes
The day of delivery arrives
she gives birth to a son
She has a baby boy
Kim Sung-Hoon soon
The baby's name
she holds and kisses her love
She embraces and kisses her baby
Wishing it never ended
She wishes this moment would last forever
taking a mental picture
She tries to remember the moment
Hoping through the tears
She cries but hopes for a better future
that her son would have a better future
She desires a good life for her son
So she wonders
She thinks about her son's life
what happened to her son next
She doesn't know what happened to him
Is there clothes on his back
Is he properly clothed?
food on his plate whats the context
Is he well-fed and healthy?
The recollection of the day
She remembers the day of his birth
replays in her mindset
She keeps thinking about it
And the ways she would try
She reflects on her efforts
but just never could forget
She couldn't stop thinking about it
Well he's okay
He is doing fine
and he resides in the states
He lives in the United States
A needle in space in which rain
A reference to Seattle
makes it a beautiful place
It is a beautiful place despite the rain
Embraced by the culture
He is part of the community
and he's loved by all the members
He is well-liked by everyone
Until he turns 18
When he turns 18 years old
and his world get flipped
His life changes suddenly
He hears that his mom is not actually
He learns that his birth mother is not biologically related
his and that complications
There were medical issues
Prevented her from having
She couldn't give birth
any kids and his real mom
His biological mother
Is actually Korean and she had
She is of Korean descent
to give him up for adoption
She put him up for adoption
Cause she was young
She was too young to raise a child
and was a student
She was studying
Lost and was confused and
She was uncertain and conflicted
wrestling in the moment
She was struggling with the decision
Am I Chinese or Korean?
He questions his ethnic identity
Am I destined in this union?
He wonders about his fate
And if I am what's the purpose?
He ponders the reason for his existence
I jot it in my verses
He writes about it in his music
So I replay it in my mind as
He thinks about it often
I think about you
He thinks about his birth mother
If I could write a letter
If he could compose a letter
and know that you would read it
If he knew she would receive it
I would tell you that I never once
He never felt hatred
in my heart felt hatred
He never had ill will towards her
Reinstated I would play a song
He would play music with her
and dance with you
He would dance with her
Hold your hand as I thank
He would express gratitude
the Lord for creating you
He would thank God for her
As strong as you are
She is a strong person
cause in my mind I can't fathom
He can't comprehend her strength
The pain and the guilt
She experienced pain and guilt
when all you heard was their gossip
She was subjected to rumors and gossip
And still you stuck through it
But she persisted
when they called you foolish
Despite being called foolish
And with this gift
He has a musical talent
that I possess your probably loved music
She probably enjoyed music too
I hope you're doing well
He wishes the best for her
I hope some day you'll see this
He hopes she will read this
I hope I mean I really hope
He hopes for the best
that you know Jesus on a deeper level
He hopes she has a strong spiritual connection
Seeking just to know Him better
He encourages her to deepen her faith
I hope in perfect timing we can
He hopes to reconnect with her
See the reason clearer
He hopes to understand things better
I hope you're smiling now
He hopes she is happy
I hope I cross your mind
He hopes she thinks about him too
I hope you never second guess
He hopes she has no regrets
If what you did was right
If she made the right decision
cause I'm so proud of you
He is proud of her
I love and admire you
He loves and respects her
so after all these years
Even after a long time
this is my way of telling you
This is how he chooses to express himself
Contributed by Ethan L. Suggest a correction in the comments below.