I Wonder
Gowe Lyrics

Her mind was confused
She was mentally troubled

with a plus at the tip of the tube
She was pregnant

Sick as she threw up
She felt nauseous and vomited

with a cup take a sip of abuse
She resorted to substance abuse

So she gets nervous
She becomes anxious

cause her man left her
Her partner abandoned her

After the sex and he jets
He left after they had sex

she thought that he loved her
She had feelings for him

You see shes 18
She is a young adult

and shes a bit conscious
She is self-aware

About her dress
She is concerned about her appearance

and the reflection of her own image
She is critical of her own reflection

Timid in speech
She is hesitant while speaking

shes limited given a week
She has a short amount of time

With her tummy blowing up
Her stomach is swollen

so that people can see
It's visible to others

But she decides to keep it
She chooses to carry the baby to term

said no to abortion
She refused to have an abortion

The feet kicks in her stomach
The baby moves and kicks

comes without a warning
It is sudden

She feels the pain though
She experiences physical pain

cause her parents cry
Her parents are upset

And the shame eats her alive
She feels guilty and embarrassed

when she closed her eyes
She thinks about it when she tries to sleep

Then the day comes
The day of delivery arrives

she gives birth to a son
She has a baby boy

Kim Sung-Hoon soon
The baby's name

she holds and kisses her love
She embraces and kisses her baby

Wishing it never ended
She wishes this moment would last forever

taking a mental picture
She tries to remember the moment

Hoping through the tears
She cries but hopes for a better future

that her son would have a better future
She desires a good life for her son

So she wonders
She thinks about her son's life

what happened to her son next
She doesn't know what happened to him

Is there clothes on his back
Is he properly clothed?

food on his plate whats the context
Is he well-fed and healthy?

The recollection of the day
She remembers the day of his birth

replays in her mindset
She keeps thinking about it

And the ways she would try
She reflects on her efforts

but just never could forget
She couldn't stop thinking about it

Well he's okay
He is doing fine

and he resides in the states
He lives in the United States

A needle in space in which rain
A reference to Seattle

makes it a beautiful place
It is a beautiful place despite the rain

Embraced by the culture
He is part of the community

and he's loved by all the members
He is well-liked by everyone

Until he turns 18
When he turns 18 years old

and his world get flipped
His life changes suddenly

He hears that his mom is not actually
He learns that his birth mother is not biologically related

his and that complications
There were medical issues

Prevented her from having
She couldn't give birth

any kids and his real mom
His biological mother

Is actually Korean and she had
She is of Korean descent

to give him up for adoption
She put him up for adoption

Cause she was young
She was too young to raise a child

and was a student
She was studying

Lost and was confused and
She was uncertain and conflicted

wrestling in the moment
She was struggling with the decision

Am I Chinese or Korean?
He questions his ethnic identity

Am I destined in this union?
He wonders about his fate

And if I am what's the purpose?
He ponders the reason for his existence

I jot it in my verses
He writes about it in his music

So I replay it in my mind as
He thinks about it often

I think about you
He thinks about his birth mother

If I could write a letter
If he could compose a letter

and know that you would read it
If he knew she would receive it

I would tell you that I never once
He never felt hatred

in my heart felt hatred
He never had ill will towards her

Reinstated I would play a song
He would play music with her

and dance with you
He would dance with her

Hold your hand as I thank
He would express gratitude

the Lord for creating you
He would thank God for her

As strong as you are
She is a strong person

cause in my mind I can't fathom
He can't comprehend her strength

The pain and the guilt
She experienced pain and guilt

when all you heard was their gossip
She was subjected to rumors and gossip

And still you stuck through it
But she persisted

when they called you foolish
Despite being called foolish

And with this gift
He has a musical talent

that I possess your probably loved music
She probably enjoyed music too

I hope you're doing well
He wishes the best for her

I hope some day you'll see this
He hopes she will read this

I hope I mean I really hope
He hopes for the best

that you know Jesus on a deeper level
He hopes she has a strong spiritual connection

Seeking just to know Him better
He encourages her to deepen her faith

I hope in perfect timing we can
He hopes to reconnect with her

See the reason clearer
He hopes to understand things better

I hope you're smiling now
He hopes she is happy

I hope I cross your mind
He hopes she thinks about him too

I hope you never second guess
He hopes she has no regrets

If what you did was right
If she made the right decision

cause I'm so proud of you
He is proud of her

I love and admire you
He loves and respects her

so after all these years
Even after a long time

this is my way of telling you
This is how he chooses to express himself