To the Sun
Grandview Lyrics

It was the timing and the bags under my eyes.
My exhaustion and timing affected the interaction with my partner.

It was the look on your face when you said I look tired.
Your expression revealed a change in how you perceive me.

I'd rather watch you turn away,
I prefer not to see the disappointment in your eyes.

Because you don't look at me the same anymore,
Your gaze no longer holds the same love and admiration for me that it once did.

And I don't blame you for a second.
I take full responsibility for my actions and the effect they've had on us.

What happened to us?
I'm unsure of when our relationship changed and why.

What happened to me?
I am struggling to understand why I have changed and how it has affected us.

I used to run to feel the air rushing through my lungs,
I used to find joy in simple, physical experiences like running.

Without a purpose or need or a care and a back to the sun.
I used to run purely for the sake of feeling alive, without any ulterior motives.

Now it's just a getaway in a maze that I can't escape.
Now, everything feels like an overwhelming, confusing puzzle that I can't seem to solve.

Oh, how I would give anything for a chance to catch my breath.
I am yearning for a moment of calm and clarity amidst the chaos.

I would give anything for you to speak in words I understand.
I wish for clearer communication in our relationship so that I can better understand your perspective.

And now my feet are sinking into my regrets like concrete.
My mistakes and regrets are weighing me down and making forward progress difficult.

If we're made in his reflection, I'm curious.
I am wondering about the nature of humanity and our relationship to a higher power.

Oh, I would give anything to recreate
I long for the past and wish I could go back and fix what's broken.

How our dysfunction used to function so beautifully.
Despite our flaws and issues, our relationship used to work well and feel fulfilling.

So if we're made in his reflection, I'm curious, is this all there is?
I am questioning whether there is more to our existence and purpose than what we currently see.

Just failing expectations, crumbling foundations, nothing more, nothing less.
Our relationship is currently built on disappointment and crumbling support, with little else to hold it together.

And the burn in the back of your throat, it never goes away.
The negative feelings and pain in our relationship continue to sting and linger.

You just come to grips, and make room for it until you don't live, you just cope.
We learn to accept and live with the pain, but it ultimately takes a toll on us and we simply exist rather than truly live.

And as much as we say, "don't look back," we always do because we're human.
Despite our best efforts to move forward, we are prone to dwelling on the past and our mistakes because of our natural human tendencies.

God knows I'm human.
I recognize and accept my humanity and the flaws and mistakes that come with it.

I'm a liar and I am a fake.
I am struggling with authenticity and presenting my true self to the world.

I am I, and I wish I wasn't.
I am unhappy with who I am and long for something different.

I keep trying to fight and trying to run,
I am attempting to make positive changes and alter my life's direction.

But I hate myself for changing every step of the way.
I am grappling with the process of personal growth and how it affects my sense of identity.

I can't help thinking that if we're made in his reflection,
I am still drawn to deeper questions about our nature and purpose as beings created by a higher power.

I'm curious, did God drink himself to sleep the night he created me?
I am grappling with feelings of self-doubt and insecurity about my place in the world and my purpose.