all i can see
Guardin Lyrics

I wish I had friends
I desire companionship and social connections

I wish I had anyone to save me
I long for someone who can rescue me from my adversities

But I ain′t like them (like them)
I am different from others around me

I'm just a nightmare in the making
I am constantly brewing chaos and disturbance around me

I pray that this ends
I wish for the situation that I am in to come to a close

That the Baphomet will take me
I hope for an escape through death or supernatural forces

Away from loose ends (loose)
I desire to be rid of unfinished and unresolved matters

′Cause I'm not to be forsaken
I do not deserve to be abandoned or left behind

Maybe it's a part of me, the anxiety
It is possible that my anxiety is a constituent part of my being

But the funny thing is it's all I can see
Ironically, my anxiety is the only thing occupying my mind

And it lies to me, fucking blinding me
My anxiety misleads me and obscures my judgment heavily

While I honestly just feel like I′m on drugs
I feel like I am under the influence of narcotics without actually taking any

Even though I don′t even take 'em
Despite not indulging in drugs, I still experience their effects

It's fucking me up
It is causing me significant distress and harm

Ride these highs to feel complacent
I chase after positive feelings to achieve a sense of satisfaction

I hide sometimes so I feel safe from
I turn to seclusion to escape from

The pain in my gut
The emotional or psychological distress that I experience

I should dive in (I should dive in)
I should fully immerse myself

Swim to the surface when I'm stable
I should surface only when I have gained stability

Let's skip the pretend (let′s skip the pretend)
Let us avoid any pretense or deceit

′Cause this life is not a fable
Because reality is not a fictitious tale

This story don't end (this story don′t end)
I am still in the middle of my own narrative

'Til I′m hooked to all these cables
Until I am attached to various devices and apparatus

And start to see red (and start to see red)
And until I begin to lose control

As they lie me on the table
As I am subjected to medical or surgical procedures

Maybe it's the start of things
It is possible that this is only the beginning

Something I can′t see
There may be underlying factors or hidden aspects beyond my understanding

It's beyond a dream, an advisory
It is more than a mere dream, it serves as a warning or guidance

And it lies to me, fucking blinding me
My anxiety still deceives me, making it difficult for me to perceive reality clearly

When I honestly just feel like I'm on drugs
Despite being sober, I experience sensations similar to those caused by drugs

Somebody wake me
I need someone to snap me out of this state

'Cause life is a daydream
Life seems unreal, like a fleeting daydream

And I'm wasting time with you
I am not using my time with you efficiently or to my advantage

So many faces
I interact with numerous people and personalities

Yeah, I'm losing patience
I am running out of tolerance and endurance

And I'm stuck on loving you
I find myself fixated on feelings of love towards you

Feels like I'm on drugs
I experience sensations and emotions similar to being under the influence of narcotics

Yeah, feels like I'm on drugs
Yes, indeed, I feel as if I am on drugs

Feels like I'm on drugs
I continue to experience drug-like sensations

Feels like I′m on drugs
It is hard to shake off the feeling that I am under the influence of drugs

Yeah, yeah
An expression of affirmation or agreement