Nightmare
Halsey Lyrics

Now I lay me down to sleep
Praying before going to sleep, hoping to be protected by God, and to wake up safe and sound in the morning.

I, I keep a record of the wreckage of my life
I keep track of the chaos that occurs in my life, both mentally and physically.

I gotta recognize the weapon in my mind
I need to acknowledge the negative thoughts and emotions that often harm my mental state.

They talk shit, but I love it every time
People often gossip and speak badly about me, yet I secretly take pleasure in it.

And I realize
I come to the realization that I am flawed and far from perfect.

I've tasted blood and it is sweet
I've experienced the thrill of revenge and it feels satisfying.

I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet
I've been betrayed or taken by surprise, causing me to feel vulnerable and exposed.

I've trusted lies and trusted men
I've believed in false promises and people who have tricked me.

Broke down and put myself back together again
I've gone through tough times where I felt like I was falling apart, but I managed to piece myself back together.

Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters
I've been so angry at myself that I destroyed or harmed an object, like a mirror.

Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger
After breaking something, I picked up the pieces and possibly used them as a weapon.

I've pinched my skin in between my two fingers
I've harmed myself physically by pinching my own skin.

And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors
I've had thoughts of wanting to mutilate parts of my body.

"Come on, little lady, give us a smile"
Men often ask women to smile in uncomfortable, unwanted situations.

No, I ain't got nothin' to smile about
I have no reason to pretend to be happy.

I got no one to smile for, I waited a while for
I have no one to put on a happy face for, I've been waiting for something or someone to make me happy.

A moment to say I don't owe you a goddamn thing
I want the chance to declare that I don't need to please anyone else but myself.

I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night
I may not be ideal or perfect, but I am still exciting and interesting.

No, I won't smile, but I'll show you my teeth
I won't pretend to be happy, but I will show my anger or aggression.

And I'ma let you speak if you just let me breathe
I'll let you talk, but I need my own space and time to relax.

I've been polite, but won't be caught dead
I've acted appropriately in the past, but I won't let others take advantage of me.

Lettin' a man tell me what I should do in my bed
I won't let a man control me, especially in my own personal space.

Keep my exes in check in my basement
I take precautions against my past relationships and their possible impact on me.

'Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent
Being nice can make you appear as weak or apathetic to others.

I could play nice or I could be a bully
I have the choice to act nice or mean, and sometimes I choose to be the aggressor.

I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be
I am personally exhausted and angry, but I also feel like someone else should feel the same way.

Someone like me can be a real nightmare, completely aware
I understand that I can be difficult to handle, and I am consciously aware of my flaws.

But I'd rather be a real nightmare than die unaware, yeah
I would rather be difficult and complex than be ignorant and unenlightened.

But I'm glad to be a real nightmare, so save me your prayers
I am content with being who I am, and I don't need anyone to pray for me to change.