Calling the Rain
Harakiri for the Sky Lyrics

Since the day they called me and I heard you passed away
Ever since I received the news of your death, peace has eluded me, and I haven't had a moment's rest.

I had no peaceful night, no minute of rest
My grief has been so overwhelming that I cannot find peace in my sleep or any moment of respite.

I can‘t hear myself think, no love left for another
The pain of your loss is so all-consuming that I can't focus on anything else or find love in anyone else.

This first night of winter was unison my own death…
The onset of winter has only served to heighten my sense of despair, and makes me feel like I'm also dying.

Come closer dearest void and choke me from the inside
I am so consumed by grief that I welcome the idea of dying, and imagine the void taking me inwardly.

Strangle me slowly or break my neck whilst the fall
I'm okay with dying either way, whether it's slowly through suffocation, or a sudden fall that breaks my neck.

It makes no difference to me, I don't care at all
Death holds no fear for me, and in fact, I welcome it as a release from my pain and grief.

Neglect the fall as long as we keep on falling apart!
I don't care how I die or how it happens, as long as it means I'm no longer as miserable and alone as I am now.

You were not my closest friend, but the longest-serving
You may not have been my closest friend, but you have been part of my life for so long and it hurts to lose you.

You were my fellow… …or at least you tried.
Even though we weren't extremely close, you were still there for me in your own way, and I appreciated that.

But you died last winter, strung up in the stable
I still can't believe that you're gone, that you died last winter, hanged in the stable.

They found you in the morning, dead as our dreams…
When they found your body in the morning, it was as if all of our hopes and dreams had died with you.

Tonight I'll get so terribly drunk I'll lapse into coma
In an attempt to forget the pain of your loss, I'll be drinking myself into a stupor and possibly even a coma tonight.

For fuck‘s sake! I'll drink myself into oblivion
I don't care if I'm destroying myself in the process, I just want to forget this pain and live in oblivion.

Cause the only way to forget about you,
In my mind, the only way to forget you and the pain of your loss is to numb myself entirely.

is to deafen all senses, until deadness eventuates
I need to shut out the world and my own feelings entirely, until I am completely dead inside.

Fuck this life!
I am so overwhelmed and consumed by grief, that I'm cursing my very existence.

I re-open my scars and fill the hole in my heart with smack and wine
I'm falling into self-destructive patterns, reopening old wounds and filling the emptiness with drugs and alcohol.

And I will lay down my bones at this stone-cold rivers muddy banks
I'm so consumed with pain that I'll eventually die here by the river, where the cold and murky waters reflect my despair.

One breath left until the void engulfs me
I'm so close to the edge, that I feel like the void is engulfing me, and death is imminent.

One breath left and all belongs to the past
In one last breath, everything will belong to the past, and I'll be gone, a part of history.

This was the year of the great depression
Everything this year has been about my depression, my loss, my grief.

this was the year I buried myself in the dust of days!
I've been so consumed with grief and sorrow that I feel like I've been buried alive in my own sadness.