The band toured alongside Der Weg einer Freiheit and the Great Old Ones in March, 2016 and played Summer Breeze Open Air later that year. For live performances, J.J. and M.S. are joined by bassist Thomas Dornig, drummer Mischa Bruemmer and guitarist Marrok. In 2017 they were nominated for the "Hard & Heavy" category of the Amadeus Austrian Music Awards.
I Pallbearer
Harakiri for the Sky Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Like all the years we buried, vanishing forever
Cause also grief is just love with no place to go
Like all the years we buried, this place is death
There’s a thing you should know about me
I am and have always been this deeply sad man
So, I am both, laughing and crying at the same time
I’m pretty sure growing old will kill me
Slowly, but steadily, in two different ways
As I’m still the one with the saddest smile
I hate being bipolar, it’s fucking awesome
The firstborn died by his own hands
My oldest friend found a rope that bore
And I know I’ll definitely also not die
By staring out in the pouring rain
Nobody ever tells you that emptiness weighs most
When there’s a void inside that can’t be filled
Cause it’s not a single stab wound that kills me
It’s a thousand paper cuts on every single day
The heart dies a slow death
And all our dreams dash fast
But I wonder if you changed your minds
The moment you knew you’d die
And I’m totally aware that my pain
Is nothing when compared to yours
But cleaning out your apartment
Was way harder than your funeral
One more psychosis then I am also finally done
Cause the more I sleep, the less I dream
And then at night I drink and clean my gun
It’s me who should be dead, not you…
The song "I Pallbearer" by Harakiri for the Sky is a poignant reflection on the inevitability of mortality, the pain and grief that comes with it, and the struggle to come to terms with it. The opening lines suggest a change in the singer's perspective on life as they have grown older, with the view outside their window having changed from their childhood. The chorus repeats the line "Like all the years we buried, vanishing forever" evoking a sense of loss and the ultimate futility of life, giving a poignant context to the rest of the lyrics.
The song speaks of a deeply sad man, struggling to cope with the weight of his own existence. The lines "I am and have always been this deeply sad man. So, I am both, laughing and crying at the same time" paint a picture of a complicated and emotionally fraught persona. The chorus repeats the theme of grief being just love with no place to go, a concept that suggests that the singer is mourning a lost love, or perhaps, even the loss of life itself.
The song's final verses contain a brutal honesty, where the singer muses on their own mortality and the deaths of those around them. The line "The heart dies a slow death, and all our dreams dash fast" speaks to the broader sense of futility that permeates the song. The final lines contemplate the possibility of suicide and suggest that the singer would rather die than suffer any further. The song's melancholic mood and emotionally charged lyrics put Harakiri for the Sky's artistic abilities front and center, illustrating why the band is a force to be reckoned with.
Line by Line Meaning
The view outside my window changed a lot since I was a child
As I grew up and time passed, the world outside my window transformed gradually and substantially.
Like all the years we buried, vanishing forever
Just like the time we've lost and buried, that never returns or repeats.
Cause also grief is just love with no place to go
The pain one endures after a loss is nothing but unrequited love with no outlet for its emotions.
Like all the years we buried, this place is death
This place is a constant reminder of all the losses and painful memories that we've buried, making it feel like death.
There’s a thing you should know about me
Let me tell you something about myself.
I am and have always been this deeply sad man
I have struggled with a deep sadness and sorrow for as long as I can remember.
So, I am both, laughing and crying at the same time
I experience both happiness and sorrow simultaneously, which makes my emotions complex and conflicted.
And still trying to discover how that could be
I am still trying to understand how such vastly different emotions can exist within me at the same time.
I’m pretty sure growing old will kill me
I am convinced that the process of aging will ultimately bring about my demise.
Slowly, but steadily, in two different ways
My death will come about gradually, but consistently, in two distinct forms.
As I’m still the one with the saddest smile
Despite my efforts to maintain a facade of happiness, I am still the one with the saddest expression.
I hate being bipolar, it’s fucking awesome
I find it both dreadful and amazing to experience the extreme highs and lows of bipolar disorder.
The firstborn died by his own hands
My eldest child perished by his own doing.
My oldest friend found a rope that bore
My closest friend took his own life by hanging himself.
And I know I’ll definitely also not die
I am sure that I will not experience a peaceful death.
By staring out in the pouring rain
Contrary to a romanticized death vision, I will not pass away serenely while staring out into the rain.
Nobody ever tells you that emptiness weighs most
Of all the hardships one suffers, the heaviest burden is that of unfilled emptiness.
When there’s a void inside that can’t be filled
When a gap exists within oneself that cannot be bridged, the weight of that emptiness becomes unbearable.
Cause it’s not a single stab wound that kills me
It's not just one piercing pain that leads to my demise.
It’s a thousand paper cuts on every single day
Every day feels like a thousand painful cuts that never heal, leading me closer to death.
The heart dies a slow death
The heart suffers a slow, painful death over time.
And all our dreams dash fast
All the aspirations and aspirations we hope to achieve vanish quickly without becoming realities.
But I wonder if you changed your minds
I wonder if you had a change of heart about ending your life just before you passed away.
The moment you knew you’d die
At the point you realized that your life was coming to an end.
And I’m totally aware that my pain
I am fully conscious of the fact that my suffering can't compare to the pain you must've felt.
Is nothing when compared to yours
My suffering pales in significance when weighed against your anguish.
But cleaning out your apartment
The task of clearing out your living space.
Was way harder than your funeral
Was infinitely more challenging than attending your funeral service.
One more psychosis then I am also finally done
Another episode of psychosis is all it will take for me to give up on life.
Cause the more I sleep, the less I dream
My sleep patterns have reversed, and I now dream less as I sleep more.
And then at night I drink and clean my gun
During the night, I occupy myself by drinking and cleaning my firearm.
It’s me who should be dead, not you…
I feel that I should have been the one to die, not you, and the guilt is crushing me.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
BN GR
The view outside my window changed a lot since I was a child
Like all the years we buried, vanishing forever
Cause also grief is just love with no place to go
Like all the years we buried, this place is death
There's a thing you should know about me
I am and have always been this deeply sad man
So, I am both, laughing and crying at the same time
And still trying to discover how that could be
I'm pretty sure growing old will kill me
Slowly, but steadily, in two different ways
As I'm still the one with the saddest smile
I hate being bipolar, it's fucking awesome
The firstborn died by his own hands
My oldest friend found a rope that bore
And I know I'll definitely also not die
By staring out in the pouring rain
Nobody ever tells you that emptiness weighs most
When there's a void inside that can't be filled
Cause it's not a single stab wound that kills me
It's a thousand paper cuts on every single day
The heart dies a slow death
And all our dreams dash fast
But I wonder if you changed your minds
The moment you knew you'd die
And I'm totally aware that my pain
Is nothing when compared to yours
But cleaning out your apartment
Was way harder than your funeral
One more psychosis then I am also finally done
Cause the more I sleep, the less I dream
And then at night I drink and clean my gun
It's me who should be dead, not you...
Snake Plissken
@Mister Magulag Please understand brevity is not a strong point of mine…. I think in a situation such as this constructive criticism can go a long way. Provided one possess’s the self actualization and will to bear up under the scrutiny. Without allowing such things as “self doubt” to erode at the baseline.
That said “help” doesn’t always necessarily come in the form we would like to most see. And I think you have a place in saying “focus on the strength of your faith and delivery…. not allowing oneself to be swayed too greatly by individual opinion”.
Part of that is being both honest with yourself and mature enough to gain an understanding of the kind of acceptance required in having to hear things that might not make us feel good. But Thats a normal part of any creative and / or spiritual process.
One cannot rightly expect that people are going to take you at word alone (which is where I think I need to be more decisive) in making the appropriate decisions about whether certain details are helpful or harmful (especially without the proofs like incident reports etc).
Our world is so subjective right now and people are so fucked it is difficult to just jam this down people’s throats uninvited in hopes that it will achieve some kind of profound epiphany in comprehension. Or any sudden realization of it’s depths. But? Also in saying due diligence of enduring the critique and staying the course is still quite meaningful. Despite the fact that it’s still not likely to produce immediate results and I think as an individual you need to be strong enough in your convictions and your knowledge. Facts, data etc to stave off the typical need for immediate gratification or outside validation.
These are the pathological blind spots of both garden variety madmen and liars. Which is how forensic psychology and the ability to truly gauge someone’s personae and their sincerity. Though to be brutally honest I can deal with being labeled a madman and with my history of issues I dont think its unreasonable to expect a hell of lot of skepticism .
Its the question of integrity and honesty that hurt and makes this one feel more “alone” along with the sensation of being so separated from others and mistrusted …that really makes for a most painful experience… and to admit there is a component of sadness there when you have been at the mercy of these events and experiences and even your own mother has nothing but doubt. (Though I think we’ve covered the forms of toxicity and the relentless “gaslight” of such figures) and you are correct here often times there is an element of “saving face”. Because rightfully no one wants to feel “duped” into acceptance of that which beyond improbable is considered the impossible. (By laws of science and nature we are prewired to consider as a rationale or hard logic to anchor ourselves to clinging to a rock in the stream of life) and secondary to such abject dismissal? There is a legitimate fear that I see most commonly in mankind.
We truly do fear that which is unknown to us and and asking someone else to take that for gospel on “word alone” is of course nearer to ridiculous than anything else. Most people are not willing to subject themselves to the mockery and loss of face or respect just to stand up for what they feel or believe. Oftentimes why many wont speak up in the name of their own faith (isn’t that the crux of religion) “though must worship and spread the missionary word or else”.
Again admittedly no wishes to play the part of the fool. Except in one who is willing to give up all and including the sacrifice of reputation and respect to stand alone with unwavering support in their belief. Faith. But that either takes the foolishness of a duped moron or someone who is firm in their convictions and not simply for the sake of being frivolously eccentric or “off the wall” (Some pathological people get off on the contention as well and don’t feel or have an ounce of respect for another’s intellect or opinions) but that seems awfully one sided and prone to being the actions of zealots and fanatics before a belief that your willing to check in the mirror (daily).
Maybe less is more in this case and to indulge oneself in your own story or history isn’t really virtuous in comparison to the focusing on details that are mission critical. Especially until asked. It bears repeating that I did this less for my personal agenda and what I thought could be beneficial to us in the devolution we face… potentially the soul needs to advance and transcend where the mans lower self or animal nature “id” must evolve or face a kind of extinction based path that is becoming and inevitable eventuality that we cannot transgress.
Would it be wise to focus on the spirit of the matter and not the specified personal events. Do these simply detract from the real goal… where I only have seen them as reinforcements potentially they are not more than cluttered details at this time. It seems like in achieving any momentum these details would be more appropriate to keep for a later date when the deeper digging for proofs will commence because there is an genuine interest in the situation itself. A question of sorts and not just an annoyance in the egocentric sort of madness that seems to pervade
before all of which is the fact that truth itself is most important of all because truth is potentially one of the most powerful and amazing forces in this universe down for the count she loves a real chess game… and always rises eventually so potentially here in delay of that personal gratification comes the reality of the the higher calling… I believe in her and I think what we are experiencing has a lot to do with aeons of the perpetuation of that which has been “un just” again seeking virtue before an impetuous need. Thats a fiend and they are never to be trusted. Those are the gateway and fodder of demonic legions
But again madman or liar. I accept madman as a valid way of diffusing the whole plausible deniability of the thing. But I learned personally how devastating the effects of dishonesty are and it is an evil thing I work exceedingly hard to never feed into. These events that transpired were all painful and brutal life learning lessons. People I loved died because of mistakes I made.
And while there is a great deal of possibilities that my own interpretations may be subject or legitimately clouded that is something I can search myself deeper than ever …but outright lies I’ll not abide. May the forces that be strike me down where I stand if I thought to persuade or delude through subterfuge… So? A separation from the myriad of things going on I do believe is in order. But I was quite sincere in admittance forthcoming to how lost I am after all of these experiences and years… its not all clear. And though I am well known for a frightening degree of accuracy Im not some know it all. And as I said I would not disrespect your grief not my own in the loved and gone. Such mentality and any entitlement to such is a perversion of truth and decency. So while I maintain that confusion and lack of closures leas to this irascible hunt before any desire to ever purposely mislead another and that is especially true with work I do on the soul. The magic of the spirit has no power there unless one calls upon it to do the bidding in evil (separate forces) and so while this is a little long its a complexity of great significance and I don’t want there to be confusion about such polarized opposites.
Evil Lizzard
Now Pallbearer need to release "I, Harakiri for the Sky"
Filip Skoumal
Haha, but fucking yeah !!! Its about very painful and hurting life. I love this song, so much
Jake
Big brain
Yetislandia Videojuegos
I really love this band. Harakiri for the Sky helped me in hard moments of my life. Thank you for every song.
Mortuan 13
When you click the like button before you even hear it because you know it's already good.
Tomasz S
Same here 😄
Randombeatz
Same xD
David Brock
Lol no kidding.
Pobreza Games
@Hunter Richie Makes senses Bro hahaha
Hunter Richie
When you like the comment about liking the post before you hear it before you hear it because you know it’s already good