After attending Northeastern University in Boston, Black pursued an internship at a record label in London, England. There, he immersed himself in the music scene, exploring various aspects such as writing, photography, and composing. Haux began his career by recording tracks and sharing them on SoundCloud, eventually releasing his first digital EP, "The Bluest Sage," on December 8, 2014. In 2016, he released his debut physical EP, "All We've Known," on Akira Records, drawing comparisons to artists like Bon Iver, C Duncan, and Benjamin Francis Leftwich.
Over the following years, Haux continued to release dreamy singles such as "Touch," "Youth," and "Cologne," which were later compiled into his 2018 EP, "Something to Remember." However, during a European tour after the EP's release, Haux experienced severe anxiety, prompting him to take a break from music and confront his formative trauma.
On July 17, 2020, Haux released his debut full-length album, "Violence in a Quiet Mind." The album delves into the themes of family struggles with substance abuse, trauma, and the importance of confronting personal demons for healing. Through introspective and deeply personal songs, Haux reflects on the loss of loved ones, particularly his aunts, and the generational struggle with addiction within his family.
The album was recorded on the Isle of Harris in Scotland, a place significant to Haux's mother, creating an isolated and emotionally charged environment for channeling his feelings. Co-produced by Jamie Macneal and Thomas Bartlett, the album maintains an intimate atmosphere that captures the raw emotions and vulnerability of Haux's storytelling.
Haux hopes that "Violence in a Quiet Mind" will spark conversations about mental health, addiction, and the importance of honesty and empathy. By sharing his own experiences and struggles, Haux aims to provide solace and support for listeners as they confront their own challenges and seek healing from past traumas. The album invites audiences on an intimate and contemplative journey, encouraging self-reflection and embracing the power of healing through music.
Heavy
Haux Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I apologize for all that I am
Was it happenstance or holy war
That lead me to you and away from her
Heavy as a heartbreak
Heavy as a broken home
If you ever loved me
I was never sure, of course I never asked
I never had the heart for living in the past
If it ever comes and I hope it never does
Just know that you're the one I'm watching from above
Heavy as a heartbreak
Heavy as a broken home
If you ever loved me
How come you never said so?
Heavy as a heartbreak
Heavy as a broken home
If you ever loved me
How come you never said so?
Take a sigh, take a breath in
Keep 'em close, keep 'em guessing
People lie, learn a lesson
Count your friends and your blessings
Take a sigh, take a breath in
Keep 'em close, keep 'em guessing
People lie, learn a lesson
Count your friends and your blessings
Heavy as a heartbreak
Heavy as a broken home
If you ever loved me
How come you never said so?
Heavy as a heartbreak
Heavy as a broken home
If you ever loved me
How come you never said so?
I still think of you when I hear your name
There's a part of me that still wants to pray
For plans forgot, for sins that forgave
Maybe most of all for the price we paid
In this song, "Heavy," Haux explores the weight of unspoken words and the pain of lost love. The first verse suggests a sense of regret for past choices and actions, as the singer takes responsibility for the way things have turned out. The second line, "I apologize for all that I am," appears to convey a sense of feeling unworthy or flawed. The lines "Was it happenstance or holy war/That lead me to you and away from her," suggest that the relationship was not intended, and perhaps even a source of conflict with someone else. The chorus repeats the phrase "Heavy as a heartbreak" twice, emphasizing the weight and burden of the experiences being shared.
The second verse begins to reveal the backstory of the relationship, as the singer admits to never being sure about the other person's feelings, and not having the courage to ask. However, the lines "Just know that you're the one I'm watching from above" suggest that even in death, the love and longing remains. The chorus repeats, driving home the theme of unspoken love and its weighty consequences.
The bridge offers some advice about how to navigate the pitfalls of relationships and life in general. The lines "Take a sigh, take a breath in/Keep 'em close, keep 'em guessing/People lie, learn a lesson/Count your friends and your blessings" suggest that one should be cautious with others, but still appreciate the good things in life. The final chorus repeats yet again, with the addition of the haunting lines "I still think of you when I hear your name/There's a part of me that still wants to pray/For plans forgot, for sins that forgave/Maybe most of all for the price we paid."
Overall, "Heavy" is a poignant and introspective song about the heavy burden of unexpressed love and regret.
Line by Line Meaning
I took my life in the palm of my hands
I took control of my life and made my own choices.
I apologize for all that I am
I am sorry for the person I have become.
Was it happenstance or holy war
Did fate or religion bring us together?
That lead me to you and away from her
That caused me to leave someone else to be with you.
Heavy as a heartbreak
The pain is crushing and overwhelming.
Heavy as a broken home
The feeling is as intense as the destruction of a family.
If you ever loved me
I question if your feelings for me were ever genuine.
How come you never said so?
Why did you never express your love for me?
I was never sure, of course I never asked
I was always uncertain, but too afraid to seek clarity.
I never had the heart for living in the past
I didn't want to dwell on the things that had already happened.
If it ever comes and I hope it never does
If the worst should happen, and I hope it never does,
Just know that you're the one I'm watching from above
You'll be the one I'm thinking of even after death.
Take a sigh, take a breath in
Take a moment to collect yourself.
Keep 'em close, keep 'em guessing
Hold onto people, but don't reveal too much.
People lie, learn a lesson
People deceive, so be cautious.
Count your friends and your blessings
Be grateful for the good people and things in your life.
I still think of you when I hear your name
Your memory is still with me when I hear your name.
There's a part of me that still wants to pray
There is a part of me that still hopes for something better.
For plans forgot, for sins that forgave
For the things we've forgotten and forgiven each other for.
Maybe most of all for the price we paid
Especially for the sacrifices we both made.
Writer(s): Andrew Woodson Black
Contributed by Charlotte H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
Mica Silva
This is beautiful💓
Alfredo Perez
Escucho tu música desde México asta acá se escucha tu hermosa música ❤️
Katherine B.
Esto es oro puro.
Cicero Campos
Great.
Ina
💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
Yash Dhingra
Man Oh! man!