The ink lines that would shape young, self-produced, singer/songwriter Hayden Calnin and his budding musical career were drawn in his teen years after his father gave him a guitar at age 14. He hasn’t gone a day since without playing it.
Dabbling in bands through his teen years led him to add drums and piano to his repertoire, until at the age of 17 he finally decided to give singing a go.
Calnin's guitar-driven sound is complemented by a selection of husky, honest harmonies and delicate folk-pop melodies.
Coward
Hayden Calnin Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
On your knees and drown
Look left, see death
Staring back at you
You grow tall;
I, I get old
Mystery, honestly just go
I can't handle anymore
And she goes when he's ready
And I know he feels heavy
But she knows that he's dirty
To make her feel worthy, she;
She cries like a drama queen
While dying next to me, he;
He'll hold her closely
While she falls asleep
She floats, I don't
Now she's gone
Physical, magical, you've left
Oh, I'm suddenly less.
Mystery, show me the way
To a happy place.
And he goes when he's ready
And I know he feels heavy
But she knows that he's dirty
To make her feel worthy, she;
She cries like a drama queen
While dying next to me, he;
He'll hold her closely
And now he's gone backwards
Feeling more like a coward
And he knows she sees him
So he smiles as he walks, he;
He thinks of her cheeky grin
While faking being happy
He's so cold at night
As cold as her last breath
Hayden Calnin's "Coward" is a song about heartbreak, loss and the struggle to move on. The lyrics speak of someone who has lost the person they loved, and the pain that comes with it. The first verse paints a dark and haunting picture, as the singer falls to their knees and sees death staring back at them. They feel smaller and weaker compared to the one they lost, who seems to have grown taller and stronger. The mystery and uncertainty of what led to their separation is overwhelming, and they cannot handle any more pain. The chorus talks about the two people, one of whom seems to be moving on, while the other feels heavy and dirty. The woman cries constantly while the man holds her close, even as she falls asleep. The second verse describes how the singer feels as if they are floating, while the one they loved has disappeared. They feel suddenly less, as if a part of them has been taken away. They are desperate for a sign, anything that can show them the way to a happy place. The chorus repeats, as the woman continues to cry, while the man fakes happiness and thinks of her cheeky grin. They are both struggling to cope with the loss, and the pain is palpable in the lyrics.
Line by Line Meaning
Break down;
The situation has become too overwhelming and now requires an emotional breakdown.
On your knees and drown
The feeling of suffocation and being overwhelmed is so intense that it feels like drowning and being forced onto one's knees.
Look left, see death
The feeling of despair and hopelessness has become so debilitating that it feels like death is ever present.
Staring back at you
The realization that death is a constant companion of despair is unsettling and ever present.
You grow tall;
Despite feeling like life is weighing you down, there is a strength that comes from persevering.
I, I get old
The mental and emotional toll of the overwhelming despair is taking a heavy toll and causing a feeling of aging and exhaustion.
Mystery, honestly just go
The unknown, the confusing, and the unexplainable adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed and it would be easier if it simply went away.
I can't handle anymore
The feeling of being at one's breaking point and unable to handle any more is present and overwhelming.
And she goes when he's ready
The idea that there is another person involved who is also struggling and may have their own timeline to recover.
And I know he feels heavy
The weight of the other person's struggle is evident and adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed.
But she knows that he's dirty
Despite the struggles being present, there are deeper feelings of shame or guilt that may be present.
To make her feel worthy, she;
The idea that one person's struggles and pain may impact others around them and there may be feelings of responsibility to help or fix the situation.
She cries like a drama queen
The emotions are so overwhelming that it feels like a dramatic display of tears and emotion.
While dying next to me, he;
The presence of death and despair is felt so heavily that it feels like physically dying.
He'll hold her closely
Despite the overwhelming emotions, there may be moments of connection and comfort between people who are struggling.
She floats, I don't
The feeling of being engulfed in despair and weightlessness contrasted against a lack of buoyancy or hope for oneself.
Now she's gone
The idea that the other person may move beyond the pain and despair while leaving the other person still feeling it acutely.
Physical, magical, you've left
Despite a physical presence being present, the emotional and mental pain has caused the feeling of a surreal or intangible presence.
Oh, I'm suddenly less.
As the situation progresses and continues to feel overwhelming, there is a sense of losing oneself to the despair.
Mystery, show me the way
The desire to have answers, to understand, and to be able to move beyond the painful situation is strong.
To a happy place.
Despite the overwhelming despair, there is still a hope or desire to move toward something happier and brighter.
And he goes when he's ready
The idea that the other person may have their own timeline and process for healing and that it may be different from others around them.
And I know he feels heavy
The weight of the other person's struggle is felt acutely, adding to the overall sense of being overwhelmed.
But she knows that he's dirty
Despite the empathy and understanding for the other person's pain, there may still be feelings of guilt or shame associated with the pain.
To make her feel worthy, she;
The desire or drive to help others may come from a desire to feel worthwhile, wanted, or needed.
She cries like a drama queen
The emotional toll may lead to dramatic displays of emotion such as tears or pleas for help.
While dying next to me, he;
The feeling of being so close to death or despair that it feels like physical death is close at hand.
He'll hold her closely
Despite the pain, there may be moments of comfort or connection between individuals who are struggling.
And now he's gone backwards
Despite the hope for progress and healing, there may be setbacks or regression that further add to feelings of despair and hopelessness.
Feeling more like a coward
The setbacks and regression may cause feelings of inadequacy, weakness, or cowardice in the face of the overwhelming pain.
And he knows she sees him
Despite the feelings of weakness, there is an awareness that others may be aware or perceive the struggle.
So he smiles as he walks, he;
Despite the pain, there may be a facade of strength or happiness put on display, even if it is not genuine.
He thinks of her cheeky grin
Despite the overwhelming pain, memories or thoughts that bring happiness or joy may still be present.
While faking being happy
The facade of happiness or strength may require a great deal of effort and energy, and may feel insincere or fake.
He's so cold at night
The emotional strain may express itself physically, causing feelings of coldness, isolation, or disconnection from the world around him.
As cold as her last breath
The feeling of isolation or disconnection may be reminiscent of the finality of death, and the sense of being alone in the world.
Contributed by Taylor B. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@itszmeeee
Let's be real, Teen Wolf has amazing music!
@meleenaa5930
Oh yes.👍
@r1y9k9y
indeed it has... :')
@jamesmisanes4638
Yes it does. Teen wolf brought me to this song
@dupozauruss
YASSS
@maryamhamed8695
Yaaaaaas
@shadyluvr08
I get so many good songs from Teen Wolf!!
@claridepiante9386
same!
@ohgoodgodno
I swear it doesn't matter how many times I listen to this, my throat always tightens up and my eyes water. Serious talent to write and then deliver a song like this. Keep up the amazing work, Mister Calnin.
@JesseMoffett
My good taste in music brought me here. :)