Headley began playing the music of her native country at a young age, including calypso, reggae and soca. She moved to Fort Wayne, Indiana in the United States at the age of fifteen when her father was offered a job as pastor of McKee Street Church of God (in Anderson, Indiana).
After graduating from Northrop High School, Headley attended Northwestern University to study communications and musical theatre. In 1997, she played Nala in The Lion King, the Broadway musical. Headley's performance was well-received and she then originated the title role in the Broadway adaptation of Aida, earning the Tony Award for Best Actress in 1999.
Headley released her debut album, This Is Who I Am, in October 2002 on RCA Records. Although its first single, "He Is", was not very successful, the second single, "I Wish I Wasn't", achieved moderate success and earned her a Grammy Award nomination for Best Female R&B Vocal Performance. Headley was also nominated for Best New Artist.
On September 6, 2003, Headley married Brian Musso, formerly of the New York Jets. Her second album, In My Mind, was delayed due to the various executive shake-ups associated with RCA parent BMG's merger with Sony, and Headley joked that it should have been called Caught Up instead. Under BMG North America chairman/CEO Clive Davis for the first time, Headley released the album in January 2006. The title track was released as the first single; it was produced by India.Arie collaborator Shannon Sanders, and its music video was directed by Diane Martel. The song reached number-one on the U.S. Hot Dance Music/Club Play chart.
I Didn't Mean To
Heather Headley Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
So blurred
So unclear
Then suddenly eyes focus and realize that
This man should not be here
It's funny how there's no remorse in the moment
But after it's over you wish you could disown it
And as you get up to tell this stranger to leave
[Chorus]
And of all the things that you could have said
What was in your head?
I didn't mean to
All the thoughts running through your mind
All that you could find
I didn't mean to
And the pain of losing everything comes over you
I didn't mean to
All you can say is that 'you didn't mean to'
I didn't mean to
And it's reality now
Pictures of him and your baby
Smashed in broken glass all on the floor
With his suitcase in one hand, your little girl's hand in the other
You hear him say "Mommy don't live us no more"
And it cuts like a knife but you can't blame him either
You're a mother, you're a wife, but you're also a cheater
Ooh girl, one silly moment of lust
Just cost you everything that you've ever loved
[Chorus]
Oh, the clouds are rolling in
As you prepare to face this punishment and suffer the consequence
Such a price to pay
Was it really worth it?
And you fight back tears
As you watch him take the only thing you ever truly loved away
The tears in her eyes as she waves goodbye
Slowly kills you inside
[Chorus]
The lyrics of Heather Headley's song I Didn't Mean To tell the story of a woman who cheats on her partner and the consequences that follow. The first verse describes the moment when the woman realizes that the man she's with should not be there, and the guilt that she feels after the fact. She wants him to leave, but just as she's about to tell him, her partner walks in and sees everything. The chorus is a reflection of the remorse she feels for her actions, and the pain of losing everything she ever loved. She repeats the phrase "I didn't mean to," as if trying to convince herself that it was an accident, and not a deliberate choice.
The second verse is a stark contrast to the first, as it depicts the consequences of her actions. There are broken pictures of her husband and child on the floor, and her husband is leaving with their child. She cannot blame him for leaving, as she is a wife and mother who has betrayed her family. The lyrics emphasize the exorbitant price she has to pay for her mistake, and the fact that it wasn't worth it. The final verse describes the punishment she faces, the tears she fights back, and the pain of watching her daughter leave. The song ends with a repetition of the chorus, as if to emphasize the weight of her mistake.
Overall, I Didn't Mean To is a poignant song that explores the aftermath of infidelity. It highlights the consequences of cheating, encourages empathy for those who have been betrayed, and challenges listeners to reflect on their own actions.
Line by Line Meaning
It's bordering on insanity
The situation is close to madness and chaos.
So blurred
The details of the situation are unclear and confusing.
So unclear
The situation is lacking in clarity with no clear direction or purpose.
Then suddenly eyes focus and realize that
Suddenly, the situation becomes clear and the artist realizes that something is wrong.
This man should not be here
The presence of this man is unexpected and unwanted.
It's funny how there's no remorse in the moment
It is interesting that there is no feeling of guilt at the time of the incident.
But after it's over you wish you could disown it
After the fact, the singer wishes the incident never happened and tries to distance themselves from it.
And as you get up to tell this stranger to leave
The artist gets up to confront the unwanted visitor.
The love of your life walks in and sees, everything
The artist's partner enters the scene and witnesses the situation.
And of all the things that you could have said
Amidst the chaos, the artist realized they should have acted differently.
What was in your head?
What was motivating the singer to act in this way?
I didn't mean to
The artist did not intend for this to happen.
All the thoughts running through your mind
The singer is experiencing a storm of thoughts and emotions.
All that you could find
Despite the chaos, the singer is struggling to make sense of what just happened.
And the pain of losing everything comes over you
The singer is experiencing a profound feeling of loss.
I didn't mean to
The artist is still in denial about their actions and cannot fully accept the consequences.
And it's reality now
The situation has become real, and the artist must face the consequences.
Pictures of him and your baby
The singer is confronted with images of her family.
Smashed in broken glass all on the floor
The once-cherished objects are now shattered and destroyed.
With his suitcase in one hand, your little girl's hand in the other
The man is leaving, taking the artist's daughter with him.
You hear him say "Mommy don't live us no more"
The artist's daughter is expressing confusion and loss as the family separates.
And it cuts like a knife but you can't blame him either
While the artist feels the sting of loss, she also recognizes that it is her fault.
You're a mother, you're a wife, but you're also a cheater
The singer is juggling multiple identities, but her infidelity has violated her other roles.
Ooh girl, one silly moment of lust
The artist's actions were driven by a moment of passion or lust.
Just cost you everything that you've ever loved
The singer's actions have cost her the love and stability of her family.
Oh, the clouds are rolling in
The weather reflects the singer's sorrow and despair.
As you prepare to face this punishment and suffer the consequence
The singer is bracing herself for the repercussions of her actions.
Such a price to pay
The cost of the artist's infidelity is high and painful.
Was it really worth it?
The artist questions whether her actions were worth the outcome.
And you fight back tears
The singer is trying to hold her emotions together and not break down.
As you watch him take the only thing you ever truly loved away
The singer's daughter is leaving with the man, taking away the singer's most beloved possession.
The tears in her eyes as she waves goodbye
The artist's daughter is also feeling the pain of separation and loss.
Slowly kills you inside
The artist feels a deep sense of sorrow, regret, and guilt.
I didn't mean to
Despite everything, the artist still cannot fully accept responsibility for her actions.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: ARTHUR BUTLER, CURTIS LARSON III WILSON, KAREN PHILIPP, SHAFFER SMITH, SIXX JOHNSON
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind