The Worst Pies in London
Helena Bonham Carter & Johnny Depp Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Wait, what's your rush, what's your hurry?
You gave me such a fright
I thought you was a ghost
Half a minute, can't you sit? Sit you down, sit
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague
What is that?
Bet you'd think we had the plague
From the way the people keep avoiding
No, you don't
Heaven knows I try, sir
But there's no one even comes in, even to inhale
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can hardly blame them
These are probably the worst pies in London
I know why nobody cares to take them
I should know, I make 'em
But good?
No, the worst pies in London, even that's polite
The worst pies in London
If you doubt it, take a bite
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it
It's nothing but crusting
Here drink this, you'll need it
The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is, when you get it
Never thought I'd live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat, finding poor animals
What are dying in the street
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
Does her business but I noticed something weird
Lately all her neighbors cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her, what I calls enterprise
Poppin' pussies into pies
Wouldn't do in my shop
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
And I'm tellin' you them pussy cats is quick
No denying times is hard, sir
Even harder than the worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty
It looks like it's molting
And tastes like
Well, pity a woman alone
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London
Ah, sir
Times is hard
Times is hard
"The Worst Pies in London" is a song performed by Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp in the movie adaptation of the musical Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. In the song, Mrs. Lovett, the pie shop owner, encounters a customer who surprises her, as her business has been empty for weeks. She offers him a seat and begins to explain why nobody comes to her shop. She confesses that her pies are the worst in London, even stating that they may be polite by calling them the worst instead of outright terrible. Mrs. Lovett humorously acknowledges the unappetizing nature of her pies, describing the crust as nothing but crusting and admitting that the meat used is of poor quality due to the high prices. She also mentions a neighbor, Mrs. Mooney, who has a pie shop as well, but suspiciously, her cats have disappeared, hinting that she may be using them in her pies. Despite the dire circumstances and the terrible quality of her pies, Mrs. Lovett tries to make the best out of the situation by offering ale to the customer.
Overall, the song serves as a comedic and darkly humorous moment in the story, showcasing Mrs. Lovett's macabre sense of humor as she explains the challenges of running her pie shop and the unpalatable nature of her product. The lyrics highlight the desperation of the times, where even the worst pies in London can be considered a treat due to the scarcity of food.
Line by Line Meaning
A customer!
Oh, finally, a customer! This is a rare occurrence!
Wait, what's your rush, what's your hurry?
Why are you in such a hurry? Take your time!
You gave me such a fright
You scared me so much, I thought you were a ghost!
I thought you was a ghost
I believed you were a ghost, that's how unexpected your presence is.
Half a minute, can't you sit? Sit you down, sit
Please sit and relax for a moment, there's no need to rush.
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks
I simply meant that it's been weeks since I last had a customer.
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Are you here to have a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague
Please forgive me if I seem a bit distracted.
What is that?
What is that thing you're pointing at?
Bet you'd think we had the plague
I'm sure you would suspect that there's a contagious disease here.
From the way the people keep avoiding
You can tell from the way people are avoiding this place.
No, you don't
No, sir, you certainly don't want to eat here.
Heaven knows I try, sir
Believe me, sir, I do my best.
But there's no one even comes in, even to inhale
But nobody comes here, not even to take a sniff.
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
As you wish, sir. Would you like a small amount of ale?
Mind you, I can hardly blame them
However, I can't really blame the people for avoiding this place.
These are probably the worst pies in London
To be honest, these pies are likely the worst you can find in all of London.
I know why nobody cares to take them
I understand why nobody wants to eat these pies.
I should know, I make 'em
And I should know, because I am the one who makes them.
But good?
But excellent? Absolutely not!
No, the worst pies in London, even that's polite
No, these are truly the worst pies in London, and that's me being polite.
The worst pies in London
They are undoubtedly the absolute worst pies in London.
If you doubt it, take a bite
If you have any doubts, go ahead and take a bite.
Is that just disgusting?
Isn't it absolutely repulsive?
You have to concede it
You have to admit the truth of it.
It's nothing but crusting
It's just a hard and unappetizing crust.
Here drink this, you'll need it
Here, have a drink, you'll definitely need it.
The worst pies in London
They truly are the most terrible pies in all of London.
And no wonder with the price of meat
And it's no surprise, considering how expensive meat has become.
What it is, when you get it
You won't believe what it looks like when you actually get a piece of meat.
Never thought I'd live to see the day
I never imagined I would witness such a thing.
Men'd think it was a treat, finding poor animals
Men would actually consider it a treat to discover and use poor animals.
What are dying in the street
Animals that are dying in the streets, mind you.
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
There's a pie shop owned by Mrs. Mooney.
Does her business but I noticed something weird
Her business is thriving, but I've noticed something strange.
Lately all her neighbors cats have disappeared
Lately, all the cats from her neighboring houses have gone missing.
Have to hand it to her, what I calls enterprise
I have to acknowledge her entrepreneurial spirit.
Poppin' pussies into pies
She's putting those missing cats into her pies, believe it or not.
Wouldn't do in my shop
I would never do such a thing in my own shop.
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
Just thinking about it is sufficient to make you feel nauseous.
And I'm tellin' you them pussy cats is quick
And let me tell you, those cats are incredibly fast and agile.
No denying times is hard, sir
There's no denying that times are tough, sir.
Even harder than the worst pies in London
They are even harder than these awful pies in London.
Only lard and nothing more
It's just lard, nothing else, no fillings or flavors.
Is that just revolting?
Isn't it utterly repulsive?
All greasy and gritty
All oily and containing gritty bits.
It looks like it's molting
It appears as though it's shedding its outer layer.
And tastes like
And the taste is akin to...
Well, pity a woman alone
It's unfortunate for a lonely woman like me.
With limited wind
Who has a limited number of ingredients and resources.
And the worst pies in London
And these pies, which are truly the worst in London.
Ah, sir
Ah, sir,
Times is hard
These are difficult times.
Times is hard
These are difficult times.
Lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Stephen Sondheim
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind