Under Pressure
Herd The Lyrics

"My dearest Grandma" was the way he always started the letter,
He always started the letter to his grandma with the salutation, 'My dearest grandma.'

It wasn't the only occasion he wrote to keep it together,
He wrote to his grandma on several occasions to stay composed.

"Thank you for the birthday present, it'll really come in handy
He wrote to his grandma thanking her for the birthday present he received and said it would be really useful.

I'm writing quietly, 'cause I hope you're not angry,
He was writing the letter in a low tone as he hoped his grandma wouldn't be angry at him.

Mum and Dad are yelling at each other, like every night,
His parents were arguing with each other every night.

Like every night, I end up locking my door and I write.
Every time his parents fought, he would lock his room and write letters to his grandma.

Would you please be able to visit, and maybe make 'em make up?
He requested his grandma to come and visit them in the hope of reconciling his parents.

I'd hate to think that it was me that made my parents break up.
He didn't want to take responsibility for the failure of his parents' marriage.

Next year I'll be in high school, I'm pretty nervous, actually,
He was anxious about starting high school the next year.

Though I know it's common, I don't want no broken family.
Although he knows broken families are common, he didn't want to have one.

It's my fault, and I don't like it here,
He thinks that he is the cause of his parents' fights, and he doesn't like being in that situation.

And it's my fault, and now my little brother's in tears,
He thinks his behavior is responsible for his little brother's crying.

And Gran, I hope you're not mad, I swear I'll try to be good,
He apologized to his grandma for his behavior and promised to become a better person.

Cause Mum and Dad'll get along much better when I'm being good"
He believed that if he behaved properly, his parents would get along better.

Under pressure, I'm heating up.
He feels a great deal of pressure, and it's making him agitated.

Under pressure, calm, but it's all front.
Although he appears to be calm under pressure, it's not genuine.

Under pressure, boiling point has come
He has reached his boiling point due to the constant pressure he is feeling.

Fast forward twelve years, and he's been out of home for seven,
Twelve years have passed, and he has been living away from home for seven of those years.

Never really understood the way he carried it all with him,
He didn't fully grasp how he managed to bear the burden of his troubled childhood.

Even years later, he hated things gettin' too heated,
Even though many years had passed, he still disliked being in tense situations.

Whole section of his history he tried to delete.
He attempted to erase a part of his history that he didn't like.

New school, new city, reason justified his leaving,
He left his hometown to attend a new school and live in a new city.

He couldn't leave his guilt seeing his mother's spirit beaten,
He couldn't leave his mother alone because he felt guilty for not being able to help her when she was suffering.

She was bleeding, eyes streaming, he had to depart,
His mother was crying, and he had to leave her behind.

Frightened sunken-eyed kid became the life of the party,
He became the life of the party despite being an anxious and nervous child.

Still wrote his grandmother the occasional postcard,
He continued to send his grandma postcards from time to time even after moving away.

"Doin' fine, working hard", he thought that she'd be relieved,
He wrote to his grandma that he was doing well, hoping that would ease her worries.

And perhaps a little proud of all the things he'd achieved.
He hoped that his grandma would be proud of his accomplishments.

HD's and team captain, a prize in his class,
He was achieving good grades and became the captain of his team, an accomplishment worth bragging about.

A string of love affairs, but never close enough to see the scars,
He had a series of romantic relationships but never formed a deep enough connection to share his emotional scars.

Between the lines, his Grandma, only one who heard his bomb tick, he was...
His grandma was the only one who could sense that he was dealing with personal issues, even if he didn't openly communicate them.

Under pressure, I'm heating up.
He feels immense pressure and is beginning to get agitated.

Under pressure, calm, but it's all front.
Although he seems calm under pressure, it's just a facade.

Under pressure, boiling point has come
He has hit his limit under pressure and is about to snap.

"Child, I miss you greatly, haven't got many letters lately,
His grandma wrote to him expressing how much she missed him and lamenting the fact that she hadn't received many letters from him recently.

I just wrote to let you know that it's OK to show when you're under pressure.
She wanted him to know that it was okay to express his emotions when feeling stressed or pressured.

Though I never really needed to explain this is true,
She never wanted to clarify it, but it's a fact that he needs to understand.

I see a lot of your dear father when I'm looking at you.
She noticed that he shared many traits with his father.

He worked hard, and enjoyed inebriation,
His father was a hard worker who also enjoyed drinking.

And really, that's a trait that doesn't skip a generation.
She believes that the trait of enjoying alcohol runs in the family.

Once removed, I see clearer than most, dear boy,
She feels that she can see things from a more objective perspective as she's a generation ahead of him.

I see though your illusions, boy,
She can see through his facades and illusions to understand his true feelings.

All life's lessons are under pressure.
She believes that all of life's lessons can be learned while under pressure.

Now he's old enough to know better, looking through those old letters,
He is now mature enough to understand the significance of his old letters.

That he's never sent, he's sure the past is omnipresent,
He never sent the letters he wrote to his grandma, but he still feels that the past is still present in his life.

He won't resent the sum total of experience,
He has come to terms with his past experiences and won't hold any resentment towards them.

From delirious days, to some so serious.
He's experienced both happy and traumatic moments in his life.

"Never got those letters, but be sure that I'm hearing this".
Although his grandma never received the letters he wrote, she is still listening to him.

They're really just signposts, landmarks, clippings,
He views his past letters as signposts, landmarks, and clippings that represent the important moments in his life.

Some repetitive themes, like record players skipping.
Certain themes recur in his letters, just like a record player skips over the same spot again and again.

He has torn off the layers and always found something different
As he examines his past through the old letters, he peels off the layers and discovers new insights.

Inside him, tiny sparks like stars colliding,
As he reflects on his past, he notices sparks of inspiration that collide like stars in his mind.

And they let him live again, he's never giving in,
The sparks of inspiration help him to rediscover the joy of living, and he will never give up.

And without those few friends that always meant well,
He wouldn't have been able to make it this far without a few true friends who meant well.

It might have never got to "all's well that ends well",
He might not have been able to turn his life around without the support of his friends.

Pen fell, swiftly, why he's writing now is still a mystery,
He doesn't know why he's writing now, but he feels compelled to do so.

Has the feeling history forgotten tends to repeat,
He's afraid that if he doesn't remember his past, he might repeat his mistakes.

So some nights before sleep, he writes to keep it in his sights,
He writes to remember his past and keep it at the forefront of his mind before going to bed.

And when it's close enough to touch, he lets fly,
When his past is almost within reach, he writes until he feels better.

Just to get by, by any means, to walk the path of many dreams,
He writes to get by and to follow his dreams by any means necessary.

The penny seems to fall at the very last moment,
He often comes up with crucial insights at the very last minute.

The ability to love is like the vast ocean,
He compares the ability to love to the vastness of the ocean.

And with lead-lidded focus, he writes the last lines of this one,
With intense focus, he writes the final lines of this letter.

And signs off, "With love, your Grandson".
He ends the letter with a declaration of love for his grandma.