Music in My Head
Holy Ramen Lyrics

What am I doing
Questioning my purpose and the current state of my existence.

Sitting alone in this room for hours
Spent too much time secluded, which amplifies my feelings of solitude.

Lost in thought playing my keyboard
Engaging in a solitary activity to escape my mind but only sinking deeper into contemplation.

I’m not really even a musician am I now?
Doubting my identity and contributions as a creator in the realm of music.

I just hear music in my head
Recognizing that my creativity is internal and not necessarily externalized in performance.

They’re an embodiment of my soul
The melodies I perceive represent my innermost feelings and essence.

And I need to get them down before I go insane
Feeling an urgent need to express these thoughts to prevent mental deterioration.

Or maybe I’m already insane
Contemplating whether my mental state has already deteriorated beyond repair.

The truth is I’m just sad all the time
Acknowledging my constant emotional suffering and sadness.

Been like this for a while now
Recognizing that this state of despair has persisted over a significant duration.

Sometimes I feel nothing at all
Experiencing numbness that contrasts with my usual feelings of sadness.

I often wonder what the meaning of life is
Pondering the fundamental purpose and significance of my existence.

What is existence, what is consciousness
Exploring the nature of being and awareness that defines humanity.

And is the absence of it really so terrible
Questioning whether not existing or having no consciousness would be a fate worse than my current suffering.

What would oblivion feel like
Curiously contemplating the sensations or lack thereof that accompany complete non-existence.

I think it would feel great
Expressing a longing for peace that might come through the absence of consciousness.

The weather outside is gloomy
Drawing parallels between my internal emotional landscape and the external environment.

The rain is communicating my feelings
Interpreting the rain as a reflection of my sorrow and emotional state.

I smile in photos because I feel obliged to
Putting on a facade of happiness despite not genuinely feeling it.

I’m seeing all sorts of hues
Noticing a vivid lack of emotional clarity; feelings seem chaotic and overwhelming.

Used to threaten to kill myself when I got angry
Reflecting on a history of expressing instability through dark thoughts during moments of rage.

My parents thought I was an angsty kid just joking
Feeling misunderstood by my family regarding the seriousness of my mental struggles.

Learned too many sinful things from tv
Being influenced by negative themes in media, shaping my perceptions and actions.

Mimicking what I was seeing in the movies
Emulating unhealthy behaviors and attitudes observed in fictional portrayals.

But I have always had something strange living deep inside
Acknowledging an internal complexity that sets me apart from others.

I don’t feel alright
Openly admitting to my ongoing discomfort and distress.

Every passing moment doesn’t feel real
Experiencing a dissociation from reality, as if life is passing me by.

I’m at a standstill
Feeling stuck and unable to make progress in my life.

Can you give me a hand and help me heal
Seeking support and connection from others to recover from my emotional wounds.

Can I get a second chance at life
Yearning for an opportunity to start anew and correct past mistakes.

I wanna start over and do it right this time
Feeling a desire to rebuild my life with a more positive approach.

My future is looking bleak
Describing a sense of hopelessness regarding what lies ahead.

Losing hope I’m feeling weak
Experiencing a decline in optimism, which diminishes my strength.

Wind chimes, water falls
Evoking a sense of nature’s tranquility amidst my inner turmoil.

I’m running in circles till I fall
Feeling trapped in a cycle of despair and uncertainty, leading to emotional exhaustion.

I spend my nights lying awake
Struggling with insomnia while wrestling with my thoughts and feelings.

Wondering what would happen if I died today
Contemplating the implications and effects of my potential death.

Wind chimes, water falls
Referring back to nature as a contrasting element to my turbulent mind.

I’m running in circles till I fall
Reiterating my sense of futility and cyclical despair.

I spend my nights lying awake
Continuing to highlight my struggle with unrest and anxiety.

Wondering what would happen if I died today
Maintaining a fixation on mortality and the weight of my existence.

A routine is the only thing keeping me sane
Finding solace in structure amid chaos, anchoring my sanity through predictable actions.

I have a tendency to overthink about life it’s just a game
Recognizing my inclination towards excessive rumination, reducing life’s complexities to triviality.

Gotta get down everything I wanna say
Feeling an urgent need to express and record my thoughts to avoid loss of opportunity.

In case it's the first and last album that I make
Believing that this might be my only chance to share my voice through music.

Sometimes I watch too many pornographic videos to fill up that void of human connection I so crave
Admitting to using superficial stimuli to compensate for the absence of deeper personal relationships.

I’m really a nasty piece of work it’s probably best to stay away
Acknowledging my flaws and the darkness in my psyche, suggesting I might repel those who care.

I think rappers are modern philosophers
Recognizing the depth and insight found within the lyrical messages of contemporary hip-hop artists.

My soul must be corrupted by none other than Lucifer
Feeling an internal battle of good versus evil, suggesting an innate darkness influencing my thoughts.

Mac Miller said it best, the world don’t give a fuck about your loneliness
Realizing that societal indifference often overlooks individual struggles with isolation.

All my heroes are gone so I don’t know what else to do then just rest
Expressing a sense of loss and uncertainty in direction after losing influential figures in my life.

And hope for the best I guess
Concluding with a reluctant sense of optimism despite inherent difficulties.

Wind chimes, water falls
Returning to imagery of nature's serenity amidst my chaotic emotional state.

I’m running in circles till I fall
Reiterating my feelings of being trapped and the exhaustion that comes with it.

I spend my nights lying awake
Continuing to highlight the insomnia and restlessness stemming from my internal struggles.

Wondering what would happen if I died today
Persistently reflecting on mortality and the fleeting nature of existence.

Wind chimes, water falls
Evoking nature's calming effects once more, juxtaposed with my turbulent thoughts.

I’m running in circles till I fall
Reinforcing the theme of feeling trapped in a repeating cycle of despair.

I spend my nights lying awake
Highlighting ongoing insomnia and ponderous thoughts plaguing me through the night.

Wondering what would happen if I died today
Capturing my continuous engagement with thoughts of mortality and the weight of existence.

So what are you waiting for
Challenging silence or inaction, questioning why change hasn't come.

I asked you what are you waiting for
Reiterating my plea for understanding and action from others regarding my plight.

Pull the trigger and send me
Requesting release or escape, signaling desperation over my mental state.

To Oblivion
A final longing for release into nothingness, representing my ultimate despair.