Horrible Histories first began as a book series, written by Terry Deary. Th… Read Full Bio ↴Horrible Histories first began as a book series, written by Terry Deary. Then, in 2009, it was decided that it was to be made a children's comedy, historical sketch show. In 2011, the show had become very successful and has won many awards, such as Best Sketch Show at the BAFTAs. Series 4 began in April 2012, and the writers have already started writing series 5. The stars of the show feature Mathew Baynton (Gavin & Stacey), Ben Willbond, Jim Howick, Laurence Rickard, as well as many others.

British Things
Horrible Histories Lyrics

We have lyrics for these tracks by Horrible Histories:

Boudicca Gonna cause a stink Won't be the first to blink I'm not…
Celtic Boast Battle (Talking) Year.! 100 Roman soliders lay dead on the beach,…
Cleopatra Ra, ra, Cleopatra! Famous beauty coming at ya! Ra ra, patra …
Divorced Beheaded Died Divorced, beheaded and died. Divorced, beheaded, survived. I…
Hieroglyphics Settle down, class Now you've passed Your grade one pyramid …
I'm a Knight I'm a knight, I'm a knight and I'm a knight And…
Pachacuti I'm Pachacuti, the Incan lord All other tribes dreaded My na…
Richard III I was sure that you'd love me To that hope, I…
The Borgia Family Lucrezia, Giovanni, Gioffre and Cesare Italian barmy army, T…

Victorian Inventions Twas the age of queen Victoria A period notorious So many br…

The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

TRACKS

Genre not found

Artist not found

Album not found

Search results not found

Song not found

Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Qasim Mir

3y↑8

‘British things, British things, surely there are more…?’
Steam engines
Electricity generation
Vaccines
Jet engines
Hovercraft
Slavery abolition
Radar
Analog computers
Digital computers
Worldwide web
Bagless vacuum cleaners
Railway trains
Understanding of physics laws
Evolutionary Theory
Navy
Airforce
Battleships
Submarines
Passenger airliners
Supersonic passenger airliners
Telephones
Television
Stuffing the French at Trafalgar & Waterloo
‘British things, British things, I’m afraid there’s more than you thought…’🇬🇧

Carl Hartwell

3y↑4

Ending the Slave Trade for everyone?

None of this is politically correct though. Britain was the last most successful empire, it seems it has to take the fall.

'The unweary, unostentatious, and inglorious crusade of England against slavery may probably be regarded as among the three or four perfectly virtuous pages comprised in the history of nations.'

William Lecky.

Lecky was proven more right than perhaps even he would have feared, inglorious indeed it seems. He was Irish and lived through the Irish potato famine, so he must have choked those words up.

All comments from YouTube:

Voltorb1993

3y↑120

Buttler: *sings about the slaves working hard on sugar fields*
Also buttler: *spills sugar everywhere*

Nobody Important

3y↑2

*pours it on Victoria’s head*

Vaishnavi Kandalu

3y↑1

He is a Brit apparently !

Sophia Szeneitas

4y↑113

Butler Mat is kinda terrible at making a cuppa, but he certainly did Spill The Tea.

bliss22:22

3y↑1

I see what you did there 👍 he definitely spilt the tea ☕

Rowan Aboat

4y↑1

Didn’t add enough sugar either.

Cassie Osbourne

3y↑32

My favourite thing about this is that Victoria gets so frustrated that she turns into an angry rabbit

Mike

3y↑12

They say there's no British thing in a really humorous way. This kind of humor is 100% British for sure.

Snaketooth 09

4y↑96

I heard someone called this bit anti-British... They do realize it's a joke, right?

Oliver Rickard

@Kgb333 M I was implying my younger family, I shan't bother explaining anything to pisstakers, and yes I know how to spell 'you're'

Kgb333 M

@tidalxwaves I love that one ! But that might just be stuff invented in the Victorian age itself because they mention lightbulbs and toilet paper iirc

Kgb333 M

@funbot I mean no one asked them to come but no one has asked you to stay either or even be born to begin with (me either tho or anyone else for that matter..that’s not a dig at you it’s just ultimately a trivial default setting based on where you’re born..like Americans who think America is the best because they were born there and it’s all they know no other reason..nothing wrong with loving a place but we should tell the good and bad with the same candor

Kgb333 M

@Oliver Rickard did they actually use the wrong “ you’re” on the news? Easy mistake I’m just genuinely asking because it’s the news they can at least spell check ..you guys have kids news programs there?

Yellowdress Redpurse

3y↑1

@funbot Do you have family members who fought in WW2? Do you commemorate them and still fall fondly of their sacrifices? If you and others can do that then why the hell can we minorities not talk about the opression our families felt? My grandfather was forced to serve in WW2 by the very people who kept their shoes both figuratively literally on his neck and those of his families. Don't you dare try to dismiss our hurt by pretending thst it was 100s of years ago. Even if it was,you have no right to dismiss us when you wish to celebrate your own ancestory. I owe it to myself to not response again and I won't but I had to come back to show you once more your hypocrisy,bias and prejudice. Now, fuck off.

30 More Replies...

Brin Ioca

10y↑26

I've been watching episodes of this online since the S1E1 and this one is my favorite song so far.

Edward Glass

3y↑45

"Also, I'm actually Irish. I'm just affecting this accent."

Daniel Mata

3y↑3

What's the story?

Good name

4y↑63

1:49
Victoria got moves doe

Inessa Rizvin

i think the actor was actually trained as a dancer before acting

Knox

4y↑3

Wait I thought you died on that boat in 1889......

Walter Adorjan

4y↑6

Lol

Damp Swan

4y↑70

1:54 you can see him begin to laugh

Celine

4y↑38

Omg I love Mat's little grin near the end hahahaha 😂😂😂

Celine

4y↑2

@winters children such a cutie lol

winters children

4y↑5

i think he was trying not to laugh 😂😂

John w

3y↑11

"more sugar?" SLAP! 😂😂😂

powerist

12y↑19

We need: Jaffa Cakes Fish and Chips Ale Cardigan

Jay Murray

Actually we get the cardigan from lord cardigan who was British

J. McConnell

3y↑1

Whats wrong with jaffa cakes?

Nuclear Gandhi

3y↑1

@MyDraketRBLX oof

MyDraketRBLX

3y↑7

Breaded fish is Portuguese and chips are Belgian

Liza Shushkovsky

12y↑29

Lol the sugar barely gets it in the cup

Haybale_melon

@Malcolm Lugg its grown in Britain but I think it originally was from somewhere near the Czech Republic

Infinite virus

3y↑2

Bro ur comment is 9 years old

Malcolm Lugg

4y↑1

Most sugar would have come from East Anglia as sugar beet - a British thing

thefuturemrskaiba

12y↑25

Uh, Mat, you're not going to make her any sweeter that way.

TlalGalaxia

12y↑176

"Your British things are from abroad and most are frankly stolen" XD

The Smithersy

Not our fault those peasants couldn't defend them!

Tanusree Das

3y↑1

@funbot Calculus was established in India.

Kate Holmes

3y↑4

@funbot they weren’t ours to take. We had no right. They do not and have never belonged to us and we have no right to keep them.

FPZ

3y↑3

@funbot we’re not robbing your nation of your history, we’re borrowing it....

Except it’s never returning

Nigel Sheppard

@VENTURE HOLLY what is interesting is that they did it. They were 50 years ahead. They also started it whilst ending the slave trade and before this conquest and colonialism.

3 More Replies...

jon snow

12y↑42

It's Stevie from Miranda!!! 'what have you done today to make you feel prrroooouuuud'

Infinite virus

Lol this comment is 8 years old

Sohan Dsouza

11y↑28

Would have been even funnier if that male South Asian HH cast member showed up in the role of Indian-born Munshi Abdul Karim (who was her butler at one point) when she asked for her "British butler". Although this is a singing role, and I don't know how good he is at that.

Saad Aleem

3y↑1

@J. McConnell , he is talking about Matthew Baynton, even though he's not south Asian, he's white-British.

J. McConnell

Which one?

Jackie lol

4y↑2

I was thinking that

Gil Gur-Arieh

11y↑12

gotta love the dance at 1:48

Jimmy Martin

12y↑8

To be clear, Victoria was born in Britain, though her mother was German.

Emiliano Isaiah Lennet

3y↑8

Yes, she said 'of foreign descent.'

Josy Naemi Köhler

4y↑4

Yeah, but she comes from the Hanover line of kings, who, as the name suggests were also german, and rulers of Brunswick-Lüneburg (Hanover), electors of the Holy Roman Empire, and after 1814 kings of Hanover.
In 1714 Queen Anne, last monarch of House Stuart, died without surviving heir, and so, since catholics were not allowed to become kings, the grown went to George I, Duke of Brunswick-Lüneburg of the Hanover line, her 2. Grade cousin.

Obsidian the Archiver

3y↑5

1:49 that dance tho

Aristocles

12y↑2

Middle and modern English still bear little resemblance to the Old Form, so much so it is easier to read Modern or even old French than old English. Heck, give me Classical Latin and I'll read it more easily than old English.

naly202

Kenneth Williams has a brilliant sketch about a proud English gent who goes to a restaurant and complains that everything served is foreign. He concludes: I WANT A CUP OF TEA! What's more English than that!"
Waiter< " Right away, sir! India or China?"

thechosennerf

3y↑1

They should replace the Life in the UK citizenship test with just a requirement to listen to this song.

Thomas Stephen

12y↑4

I hope they don't make a tea taxthat will really take the biscuit

MerlinTennant61

12y↑13

BRITISH THINGS, MY BRITISH THINGS

nazirul naim

As commonwealth citizens, I approved this, history wise at least 🤣.

Maximumrise1

11y↑2

Watched this in school today cuz we are learning about the British empire and its the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

Annette

https://youtu.be/7IZJjLpNEbE

Rubén Masciadri

11y↑3

Hilarious XD

Dave Abbott

I thought most of these things came from the Empire.

Fank Davis

3y↑1

English history didn’t start in the 19th century it evolved over hundreds of years that saw deaths of many English people who fought and died for its freedom when the country was under attack from foreign invaders.

maximaldinotrap

The 19th century? I think you mean the 9th century because fucking Viking raids in the 1800s?

Yoda

0:15 literally every american: how many lies have i been told by the council

PaxAmericana24

11y↑16

It is pronounced as 'Cha' in Mandarin. There is no /r/ sound.

Colmecti

3y↑1

in south india we say "chai"

Shreya Bhattacharjee

3y↑5

Yes Cha is a Indian Pronunciation

Hashim Aziz

3y↑9

Cha in Hindi/Urdu and Punjabi, which is where the British brought it from

Micha Hanstead

3y↑7

It's cha in punjabi as well

ElHeeHee

11y↑1

That's ashame!

antimage fromdota

11y↑2

That's not all - the waiter is probably Polish as well.

Natalie Kimberly

10y↑1

I like the music and im British and I think what queen Victoria said was right

Joseph Williams

3y↑4

the most british thing i can think off is bad weather

John w

3y↑1

No, the Southern U.S. has the British beat on that. Especially after this last winter!

maximaldinotrap

I mean, technically since India was under control of the British Empire during Victoria's reign wouldn't that technically mean that the tea from there was at that point British?

Winston Churchill

I listen to this song in my house

Now my house was now get Colonzied

•Isla•Reed•Vex•Patton•

4y↑12

2:03 OOOF

Peter Davies

What about Monty Python or the Goon Show?

CartoonishIdealism

3y↑47

reads comments

British nationalism really does cause brain damage doesn’t it

Ben Lowe

In my experience, Nationalism is for people with no achievements of their own.

You don't need to be proud of your nation. Be proud of yourself for the good that you've done.

When everyone in your country acts thusly, you will have created a nation worthy of your patriotism. Not before.

Seeking Absolution

3y↑2

@CMG The Person I dont think Britain has a war on drugs, Thats more a North American racist ploy.

CMG The Person

3y↑7

What’s with the war on drugs? British Nationalism is way more deadly and addictive

maximaldinotrap

3y↑1

"Slaves in Africa worked hard in sugar fields"

You just said it was from the Caribbean. That would imply the slaves are not in Africa anymore.

Colmecti

@maximaldinotrap yes the plant was taken from the Caribbean

maximaldinotrap

@Jar Binks The problem though is that the lyrics previously stated that the sugar came from the Caribbean.

Jar Binks

3y↑1

Sugar Cane originates in the Carribean, but since parts of africa have similar climates it can and is also grown there

JC

Okay, now do Nike.

Hamilkar Barkas

12y↑8

so true :)

Ilai Il

3y↑3

@funbot during the Industrial Revolution, a ton of stuff was made in Britain, especially technological. The british things are the things we think of as "British".

Dog Eat Dog

12y↑6

More sugar?

Aristocles

12y↑7

I think they make cider or something. Even English is from Germany/Denmark. At least, the old form of English. Middle English is the child of old English mixed with Norman French, that latter of which is from Italy (a Romance language).

A.T

Smart people

Gruffydd ap Cynan

3y↑4

The "British" language is actually Welsh (i.e the descendant language of that spoken by the ancient Britons in the 1st millennium BC and 1st millennium AD.

parth ritu

11y↑6

tea..from india it was brought..many died and wars were fought :-)

sc98 98

3y↑1

Send this to Americans without context.

Emily Benton

12y↑3

dose he know barley any sugar made it in the cup?

•Isla•Reed•Vex•Patton•

i don't think so

Scallosaurus

11y

In America it wasn't until the mid 19th century.

cyberpancakes

11y↑1

Yes, but before that they used slaves in the Caribbean to grow sugarcane.

Jane TS

11y↑5

Char ia chinese actually, the character is written as 茶

maximaldinotrap

Plot Twist: The butler wasn't even British. He was French.

OurImperialEmpire

11y↑5

LONG LIVE THE BRITISH EMPIRE.

Mr British

@Colmecti Does Mongolia have lands outside of Mongolia? No.
The British own lands outside of the UK like Gibraltar, falkland islands and so much more, they are called overseas territories. The British Empire is still here but It's rebranded.

Colmecti

@Mr British Thats like calling the mongolian empire still an empire

Mr British

Actually the Empire is still here we own places around the world.

CMG The Person

3y↑1

About that

beans on toast

4y↑1

ummm...

2 More Replies...

Uhphoenixh

11y

yes but America had it for not nearly as long

B. Catão

12y↑2

How about Doctor Who?

Broadway Bibliophile

3y↑1

@Emiliano Isaiah Lennet thank you!

Emiliano Isaiah Lennet

3y↑1

@Broadway Bibliophile That made me laugh more than it should have done 🤣

Isaac Whittaker-Dakin

4y↑2

It was made by a Canadian! 🤣

beans on toast

Broadway Bibliophile HAHAHA

Broadway Bibliophile

4y↑8

surprisingly, Doctor who's timeline did not correspond with Queen Victoria's

OneHundredPercentAus

11y

char. Old term for tea.

William

12y↑2

@LeoB2010 Its Sarah Hadland. :)

Arielle Meyer

12y

LOL

Andrew Clarke

4y↑1

Why does matt's costume appear to come from a century before Victoria's?

Cat! I'm a Kitty Cat

4y↑3

Its probably just a budget thing, but maybe it could also be because hes wearing a uniform and those can change very slowly?

TlalGalaxia

11y↑1

The dance is not british either, it's american :P

Jackie lol

4y↑1

Since when?

elephantschild

12y

Pray explain?

Borstian

11y

I am full german, and I don`t see your problem

Abdarramán Omeya

3y↑9

Haters will say it’s critical race theory

Potterheadsfandoms

10y↑1

There was pubs ,footballs ,wristwatches and toilets

Jay Murray

@Savage yes they were

Savage

3y↑4

@Malcolm Lugg iron = Egypt, coal = China, copper & tin = Iraq

Savage

3y↑3

Wristwatches and toilets weren’t created in England

Malcolm Lugg

Iron, coal, copper, tin

Patrick Bartlett

11y↑1

sadly my name is not british its irish

Lucy Spencer

An American counterpart to this show will unfortunately never get green lit. Parents would just complain about how it's hurting kids patriotism and then say something racist.

big rev paisley

10y

tanks, brown buss etc

Qasim Mir

3y↑8

Colmecti

nice but. Passanger airlines werent from britain neither were subs or the telephone or the television or the www or radar or hovercraft or jet engines or electricity

Carl Hartwell

3y↑4

Je Melle Beaumont

3y↑5

Discovery of Cell, Anti biotics, William Shakespeare, misicals, chocolate

Milos Stamenkovic

i realy thouth it was from China well you leave and learn thanks a lot.

Neville

11y↑3

quite funny, not so funy if u were a slave though :P

brianadhd

But technically Americans are British they didn't want to live under the crown anymore so they became independent but then cotton is kinda still British

Tyler Thorne

10y↑1

All I'm hearing is whining about winning

Night Fury

Ain't it great that after messing up the world, they're joking about it?

King Henry VIII Tudor

3y↑1

By the time Victoria was Queen, slavery was already abolished in the British Caribbean. Life still sucked there though

caboose176545

12y

okay.

manheap12

12y↑6

English derives it's roots from the Angles from ancient Germany. The language was Anglish and did not contain any words from Latin. When the Romans invaded England they mixed with the Angles giving English words which derived from Latin. The Angles and the Saxons shared England (hence Anglo-Saxon) which also added the French words which were also derived from Ancient Latin.

Annette

3y↑1

The Romans were in Britain about 500 years before the Anglo Saxons.

Bjorn Hellgate

so britain isnt eben british

ASD NETWORK

Lame. Conquered.

Street Skater 66

Jay brought me here.
Ps. I down voted.

Milos Stamenkovic

I think that was wrong fact for tea the origin of tea is Ancient China not India it arived in India centuries after.

Colmecti

@AggressiveSharts Only in Britain, Britain owned countless slaves outside of britain. Britain had slaves in india up until they left, my grandfather was kind of a slave to the british empire in india

AggressiveSharts

There's also the bit about sugar being produced by slaves, horrible histories should be aware that Britain abolished slavery before Queen Victoria was even born

UNCLE BIG KID

I thought Laittn was British like Gaelic is to Scottish?

techit senaratana

11y

What

Niki XO

3y↑2

Hello

Lee Sauce

4y↑4

Condescending, middle-class, metropolitan cringe.

Lee Sauce

4y↑1

@James Bellamy I'm sorry that this show for children is right up your street.

James Bellamy

4y↑14

@Lee Sauce I'm sorry this show for children makes you feel weird.

Lee Sauce

@James Bellamy the delivery is cringe, you mong.

James Bellamy

4y↑10

"Facts are cringe and condescending" - Lee Flanagan

techit senaratana

11y↑1

Cha?

rajiv Jamuar

Chai and cha are from the same chinese root word

Savage

3y↑2

It means tea in South Asia, where tea originated

TS

Forbidden Recalls

You know Britain was the first country to abolish slavery and send war ships to intercept slave ships and return then back to Africa free men ?
You do know that Saudi Arabia still have slaves and the Muslim master castrated the male slaves and starved them to death openly until the 1970s ?
You do know that to this very day slavery is the norm is parts of Africa?
And child labour is a British thing ??

Hamza Grimeh

3y↑1

This is anti British and rudeness disrespectful video which is full of lies and fake facts

Sean Murphy

Such as

Mac Coronado

11y

I'm bwitish

bliss22:22

Bwitish thiiings! 🎶 Bwitish thiiings!

Malcolm Lugg

4y↑4

Love this left-washing of history. Iron copper cobalt lead tin coal limestone...British things

Savage

Here is where they were all first discovered
Iron = Egypt, coal = China, copper & tin = Iraq, cobalt = Sweden, lead = Egypt, limestone = Egypt
This is embarrassing 🤦🏻‍♀️ get your facts right. Also everything you mentioned is a natural material provided by the earth, not Britain. LOL. And is found throughout most of earth or very specific places that are nowhere near England.

CMG The Person

3y↑3

All history is a left wing conspiracy as you know

James Bellamy

4y↑2

@Josh K Why bother replying if you're just going to mute me? Very odd.

Regardless, for anyone else stumbling across this, I'd like to point out the humour in trying to defend the concept of a defined ethnic Britishness by using an analogy to colour, a thing that exists on a gradient and who's lines of separation are arbitrary and culturally informed.

James Bellamy

4y↑1

@Josh K Your sense of "Britishness" makes me ashamed to share a nationality with you.
But then again, my ancestors came in part through the Normans a thousand years ago, so I guess I'm not "British" either. And neither has any member of royalty been for as long as the UK's been a country.

Ayesha Ahmed

4y↑2

@Liofa Legit though 😂 "bRiTAin AbOlIShEd sLaVEry" Nah they just said you couldn't keep people as property and hand them down to your children. They still profited off slave labour and the exploitation of the lower classes. Seeing as people of colour were seen as a lower class by nature of their existence, the British gained from the subjugation of people of colour.... But then Josh would have to get a personality outside nationalism and have his own achievements to take pride in rather than glorifying the actions of people he think he has a right to call his own because they merely share a skin tone.

22 More Replies...

wastateferryqm

All this conveys to me is how poor the rest of the world was and how wealthy Great Britain, obviously, had the only potential to make it wealthy. Sooner or later. All the luxuries we enjoy. Thank the British Empire.

Colmecti

@maximaldinotrap no lol, France and spain only joined after america started winning the battles

maximaldinotrap

@Sean Murphy Actually they were kicking the asses of the colonies until France and Spain decided to help out.

Sean Murphy

British empire couldn't handle a bunch of rebellious Americans

ananyachatterjee

Even her dearest attendant Abdul Karim was also not british. He was from India.

Punished Chen

11y↑1

ah, british humor! it's so neatly performed but sadly absolutely not funny.

Hopesedge

3y↑2

Lmao this isn't British humour, it's a show for kids

jayee 1

Lmao the facts are this tiny island has thousands of years of history and has contributed by far the most to the entire world and has many inventions and a huge culture. Proud of this tiny island

maximaldinotrap

@Kabir Hossain The fact that this tiny island ended up eventually controlling a quarter of the world is an achievement in and of itself though, especially when you factor in the other European powers they had to contend with.

jayee 1

@Kabir Hossain you sound jealous. From ya western phone and western internet

Kabir Hossain

Most of them are stolen from other countries or made by someone else and a British person just claiming on that
The British people raided India for spices and still can't taste any spices😂 white boy can't taste a little spice.

Dylan Carey

10y↑4

I love HH, it's just this comes off as quite Anti-British. For the few bad things Britain wrought, it brought unity to the peoples of India and its colonies, industrialized its colonies, helped its colonies into the world stage, and did many wonderful beautiful things for the modern world. I must ask why they never talk about those things.

Mr Cool

3y↑4

For the few bad things lol. Do you know that the population of Ireland is still lower than it was before the British caused a famine?

CartoonishIdealism

3y↑6

“Brought unity to the people of India and its colonies”

What a nice way to say you invaded a foreign country took over their government and forced them to obey you.

CMG The Person

3y↑6

British history is anti-British

Broadway Bibliophile

4y↑8

1. they literally have a song about British inventions

2. Britain also killed and robbed their way across a third of the world and now owes them 2 billion dollars they refuse to pay back.

Erraticonteuse

4y↑5

It's called Horrible Histories, my dude.

3 More Replies...

RezzyDevil101

4y↑3

I'm sorry but this is the worst song HH ever made. Not only is it wrong about tea coming from India (we gave tea to the Indians btw) but the idea that because we import lots of things meaning that they aren't a staple of our culture is ridiculous. You're right, we don't grow tea in this country but we are famous for our love of it and that's why it's seen as a British thing. The fact CBBC posted this on Twitter on Brexit day of all times just shows how the BBC want to propagandise kids, it's frankly disgusting.

Colmecti

@RezzyDevil101 as a pretty right wing person this song is absoutlety true. Britain did kind of fuck the world and you cant deny that

Broadway Bibliophile

4y↑3

@RezzyDevil101 As a pretty left wing person myself, I guess I don't see a problem because I agree with it??

RezzyDevil101

4y↑2

@Broadway Bibliophile If you don't see it at all then you must live in a far more blissfully ignorant world than me given that this comes from the BBC, perhaps the most left-wing pro-globalisation "unbiased" TV station of the last couple decades. If there is no ulterior motive to this at all then why did the CBBC Twitter account post this song on Brexit day being narrated by Nish Kumar who is the most pro-Europe man in the world?

Broadway Bibliophile

4y↑5

@RezzyDevil101 No. You notice all the things shown are Grown in different countries?

RezzyDevil101

@Broadway Bibliophile You think a song called 'British Things' isn't about things that are staples of Britain? You don't see anything anti-patriotic about effectively saying nothing is British?

3 More Replies...

More Comments

just now