Hot Cross was a post-hardcore band formed in Philadelphia in 2000 on Hope D… Read Full Bio ↴Hot Cross was a post-hardcore band formed in Philadelphia in 2000 on Hope Division/Equal Vision Records. The band comprised members from bands such as Saetia (vocalist Billy Werner and drummer Greg Drudy, who was also a founding member and the original drummer of post-punk group Interpol), Off Minor (bassist/guitarist Matt Smith), You and I (guitarist Casey Boland), Neil Perry, The Now and Joshua Fit For Battle (bassist/guitarist Josh Jakubowsky). Their songs are composed of intricate (and in the beginning of their career, dueling) guitars heavily influenced by Drive Like Jehu.

On July 6th, 2007, the band announced via their MySpace that they are 'indefinitely inactive'.

EXiSTENCE
Hot Cross Lyrics

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Rockets (regressed/repressed), an hand pushes the fatal shot ever-closer to a broken tune.
Wasting my time and thrown face-first into a bloody trail
Left by gods and habits started
While misery dreads the broken-hearted
Behind fragile hours, one more untimely existence.
Self destruct before daylight, wake up death from spite.
My head's too tired to change what can't be,
Too forgetful to feel what was once seen.

I never forgave your silence

Sometimes we fail to need and slipping past grief is easier than making myself bleed.
Show me how to feel for you.

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Hot Cross's song Existence are steeped in themes of self-destruction, regret, and loss. The opening line, "rockets (regressed/repressed), an hand pushes the fatal shot ever-closer to a broken tune," implies a sense of being propelled forward by forces beyond one's control, while the ensuing line, "wasting my time and thrown face-first into a bloody trail," suggests a painful and ultimately futile struggle against these forces.

The phrase "left by gods and habits started" further underscores the sense of powerlessness conveyed in the preceding lines, while the expression "misery dreads the broken-hearted" points to the profound emotional toll exacted by this struggle. Throughout the song, the singer is plagued by feelings of exhaustion ("my head's too tired to change what can't be") and forgetfulness ("too forgetful to feel what was once seen"), hinting at a profound sense of detachment from both the world and their own emotional life.

Perhaps the most striking aspect of these lyrics is their sense of yearning: "I never forgave your silence," the singer laments, expressing a deep and abiding need for connection and understanding. Even as they acknowledge the ease of slipping past grief, the singer remains fixated on this desire for meaning and, ultimately, for redemption: "show me how to feel for you."

Line by Line Meaning

Rockets (regressed/repressed), an hand pushes the fatal shot ever-closer to a broken tune.
A powerful force that was once prominent has now been suppressed, causing a lethal action to further exacerbate an already damaged situation.

Wasting my time and thrown face-first into a bloody trail
I am expending my time and energy on something that is leading me to a disastrous end.

Left by gods and habits started
I have been abandoned by forces beyond my control, trapped in patterns that I possibly initiated myself.

While misery dreads the broken-hearted
The feeling of sadness is afraid of people like me who have been badly hurt before and may not be able to handle more pain.

Behind fragile hours, one more untimely existence.
In a very delicate moment, yet another death or loss occurs unexpectedly.

Self destruct before daylight, wake up death from spite.
Intentionally causing harm to myself before the morning comes, a way of rebelling against the inevitability of death.

My head's too tired to change what can't be,
I am too worn out to alter what is unchangeable at this point.

Too forgetful to feel what was once seen.
I am too absent-minded to recall and experience what was once significant to me.

I never forgave your silence
Your lack of communication hurt me deeply and I am still holding onto that pain.

Sometimes we fail to need and slipping past grief is easier than making myself bleed.
At times, we do not recognize our true needs and it is easier to avoid pain than to confront it directly.

Show me how to feel for you.
Help me understand how to emotionally connect with you.

Contributed by Sarah E. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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