Anything Goes
Howard Lanin and His Orchestra Lyrics

Times have changed
The world is a different place now

And we've often rewound the clock
We have frequently looked back to the past

Since the Puritans got a shock
Since the puritans became aware of new things

When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
When they first arrived in America at Plymouth Rock

If today
If, in the modern day

Any shock they should try to stem
If people tried to prevent anything that was unfamiliar to them

'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Instead of arriving on Plymouth Rock

Plymouth Rock would land on them.
It would be the unfamiliar things that would impact them instead of the other way around

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
In the past, seeing women's stockings was considered scandalous

Was looked on as something shocking.
It was seen as improper behavior

But now, God knows,
But in modern times

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

Good authors too who once knew better words
Even respected writers who were once eloquent

Now only use four-letter words
Now use simple, vulgar words

Writing prose.
When writing literature

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

If driving fast cars you like,
If you enjoy driving fast cars

If low bars you like,
If you like seedy bars

If old hymns you like,
If you like outdated hymms

If bare limbs you like,
If you like seeing people naked

If Mae West you like,
If you like Mae West

Or me undressed you like,
Or if you want to see me naked

Why, nobody will oppose.
Then there's no problem with doing those things

When every night the set that's smart is intruding in-
When the fashionable crowd starts attending

Nudist parties in studios.
Nude parties in studios.

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
When Mrs. Ned McLean

Can get Russian reds to "yes" her,
Can convince Russians to agree with her

Then I suppose
Then it's likely

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

When Rockefeller still can hoard enough money to let Max Gordon
When Rockefeller has enough money to sponsor Max Gordon's endeavors

Produce his shows,
Making it possible for him to produce shows

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

The world has gone mad today
The world is insane today

And good's bad today,
What is considered good is bad

And black's white today,
What is black is white

And day's night today,
What is day is night time today

And that gent today
And that man today

You gave a cent today
You gave money today

Once had several chateaux.
Once owned several castles

When folks who still can ride in jitneys
When people who ride in jitneys (small buses)

Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Realize that the wealthy Vanderbilts and Whitneys

Lack baby clothes,
Don't even have enough money to buy clothes for their babies

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
If Sam Goldwyn is able to do with great confidence

Instruct Anna Sten in diction,
Teach Anna Sten how to pronounce words well

Then Anna shows
Then Anna indicates

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
When you hear that Lady Mendl,

Now turns a handspring landing up-
Doing gymnastics by jumping and landing on her hands

On her toes,
While standing on her toes

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable

Just think of those shocks you've got
Just think of the shocks you have experienced

And those knocks you've got
And the hits you have taken

And those blues you've got
And the sadness you have experienced

From that news you've got
From the information you have learned

And those pains you've got
And the physical pain you have suffered

(If any brains you've got)
(If you have any intelligence)

From those little radios.
From those small radios

So Missus R., with all her trimmin's,
So Mrs. R, with all of her fancy belongings

Can broadcast a bed from Simmons
Can advertise a bed from Simmons mattress company

'Cause Franklin knows
Because Franklin (likely a reference to Franklin Delano Roosevelt)

Anything goes.
Anything is acceptable