Spasticus Autisticus
Ian Dury Lyrics

I'm spasticus, I'm spasticus
Repeating three times the name of Ian Dury’s character

I'm spasticus autisticus
Identifying Ian Dury’s character as a spastic with autism

I wibble when I piddle
Stating that Ian Dury’s character shakes when he urinates

Cos my middle is a riddle
Explaining that for some unknown reason, Ian Dury’s character’s abdomen discomforts him

I'm spasticus, I'm spasticus
Repeating three times the name of Ian Dury’s character

I'm spasticus autisticus
Identifying Ian Dury’s character as a spastic with autism

I dribble when I nibble
Asserting that Ian Dury’s character drools while eating

And I quibble when I scribble
Stating that for some unknown reason, Ian Dury’s character argues when he writes

Hello to you out there in Normal Land
Addressing the people who do not have any disability

You may not comprehend my tale or understand
Clarifying that what is quite clear for Ian Dury’s character may not be for others

As I crawl past your window give me lucky looks
Informing that Ian Dury’s character moves on all fours outside the window of the non-disabled people, and he needs good wishes

You can be my body but you'll never read my books
Challenging non-disabled people to assist but to acknowledge the intellectual ability of Ian Dury's character

I'm spasticus, I'm spasticus
Repeating three times the name of Ian Dury’s character

I'm spasticus autisticus
Identifying Ian Dury’s character as a spastic with autism

I'm knobbled on the cobbles
Describing that Ian Dury’s character has walking difficulties on the street

Cos I hobble when I wobble
Reasoning that Ian Dury's character staggers each time he moves side to side

Swim!
Encouraging Ian Dury’s character to swim away from the issue he is currently facing

So place your hard-earned peanuts in my tin
Requesting for charitable donations

And thank the Creator you're not in the state I'm in
Advising non-disabled people to be grateful not to experience Ian Dury's character’s condition

So long have I been languished on the shelf
Expressing a sense of disappointment that Ian Dury’s character has been isolated for an extended period of time

I must give all proceedings to myself
Astounding that Ian Dury's character has to handle his own fundraising campaigns

I'm spasticus, I'm spasticus
Repeating three times the name of Ian Dury’s character

I'm spasticus autisticus
Identifying Ian Dury’s character as a spastic with autism

54 appliances in leather and elastic
Asserting that Ian Dury’s character has quite a few devices in his possession to help him with his disability

100 000 thank yous from 27 spastics
Sharing that Ian Dury’s character has received a lot of positive feedback from many individuals with disabilities

Spasticus, spasticus
Repeating twice another name for Ian Dury’s character

Spasticus autisticus
Identifying Ian Dury’s character as a spastic with autism

Widdling, griddling, skittling, diddling,
Using some made-up words that rhyme to describe actions that Ian Dury’s character does

fiddling, diddling, widdling, diddling spasticus
Continuing to use the made-up words to describe some of Ian Dury’s character’s movements

I'm spasticus, spasticus
Repeating two times the name of Ian Dury’s character

Spasticus autisticus
Identifying Ian Dury’s character as a spastic with autism

I'm spasticus!
Exclaiming the name of Ian Dury’s character