You Never Know
Immortal Technique Feat. Jean Grae Lyrics

She was on her way to becoming a college graduate
She had ambitions of completing her education and earning a college degree.

Wouldn't even stop to talk to the average kid
She didn't give attention to ordinary people or engage in casual conversations.

The type of latina I'd sit and contemplate marriage with
She was the kind of Latina woman I would seriously consider committing to in marriage.

Fuck the horse and carriage shit, her love was never for hire
She didn't care about material possessions or superficial displays of affection. Her love was genuine and not transactional.

Disciplined, intellectual beauty's what I desire
I sought a woman who possessed both physical attractiveness and intellectual depth.

Flyer than Salma Hayek or Jennifer Lopez
She was more attractive and captivating than famous Latina actresses Salma Hayek and Jennifer Lopez.

Everyone told me, kickin' it to her was hopeless
People doubted my chances of forming a romantic connection with her.

At first I just thought, she didn't mess with broke kids
Initially, I believed that she wasn't interested in dating financially struggling individuals.

The thug niggaz always talking about, how they smoke kids
The tough guys who boast about harming others, particularly inexperienced individuals.

But the rich-sniff-coke kids got no play
However, the wealthy individuals who indulged in cocaine didn't catch her attention either.

"I'm not even interested" is what her body language would say
Her non-verbal cues conveyed disinterest in pursuing romantic relationships.

Everyone around the way, gave up trying to get in it
People from our neighborhood gave up attempting to initiate romantic involvement with her.

It didn't matter how good your game was, she wasn't with it
Even if you had impressive social skills, she wasn't interested in dating you.

On the block, bitches was jealous, but wouldn't admit it
Women in our neighborhood were envious of her, but they refused to acknowledge it.

Talk shit, and deny to everyone that they did it
They would badmouth her but deny their behavior when questioned.

'Cause they regreted the long list of niggaz that they let hit it
They felt remorse over the numerous men they had sexual encounters with.

And no one ever gave them shit except McDonald's and did-dick
No one treated them well, except for providing occasional fast food meals and casual sex.

Smoking weed with thoughts of envy, whenever they lit it
They would smoke marijuana, seething with jealousy whenever they indulged.

She smoked intelligently and they bit it, always trying to copy
She would consume marijuana with knowledge and insight, while others imitated her behavior.

But when they tried to use her vocab, they sounded sloppy
They imitated her way of speaking, but their attempts came across as awkward and inauthentic.

She had a style, all her own, respectful and pure
She had a unique and dignified manner of carrying herself.

I was sick in the head for her, and there wasn't a cure
I was deeply infatuated with her, and there was no remedy for my feelings.

"Don't you know that, time waits for no man"
Time doesn't wait for anyone.

Not fate, it's all planned
Unexpected events aren't predetermined by destiny but are part of a deliberate plan.

I'm blessed just to know you
I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity to know you.

I've loved and I've lost just to hold you all night
I have experienced both love and heartbreak, all for the chance to spend one night holding you.

Can't find, a reason why
I'm unable to find a justification or explanation.

God came, to you and I
God intervened or had an impact on our lives.

If I had the chance again, I'd never let you go
If given another opportunity, I wouldn't allow you to leave my life.

Hold tight to your love, 'cause you never know
Hold onto your feelings of love tightly because you can't predict the future.

Her eyes are brown and beautiful, yet empty and sad
Although her eyes were physically appealing, they also conveyed a sense of emptiness and sorrow.

I used to talk to her occasionally, and she was glad
We would engage in occasional conversations, and she appreciated the connection.

That I wasn't just another nigga trying to get in it
She recognized that I wasn't like other men who were solely interested in pursuing a sexual relationship.

So every now and then we'd stop and talk for a minute
Occasionally, we would pause and have brief conversations.

I didn't have a gimmick so the minutes turned to hours
I didn't have any tricks or strategy to impress her, which allowed our conversations to extend for hours.

On her birthday, I gave her a poem with flowers
To commemorate her birthday, I presented her with a poem and a bouquet of flowers.

Then I took her out to dinner after her cousin's baby shower
Following her cousin's baby shower, I treated her to a dinner date.

We talked about, power to the people and such
Our conversations revolved around topics such as empowering marginalized communities and similar subjects.

We spent more time together but it was never enough
Although our time spent together increased, it never felt sufficient.

I never tried to sneak a touch, or even cop a feel
I never attempted to make any advances or engage in inappropriate physical contact.

I was too interested, in keeping it real
My priority was maintaining authenticity and integrity in our connection.

Perfectly honest and complete, she would always call me "carino,"
She would consistently refer to me affectionately as "carino," a term of endearment meaning "dear" or "beloved."

And never Technique, bought me a new book to read every 2 or 3 weeks
Instead of addressing me by my stage name, she used my real name, and she regularly gifted me new books to read.

Forever changing the expression of my thoughts when I speak
The books she provided me had a lasting impact on how I express my ideas verbally.

It was because of her, I even deaded all of my freaks
Because of her influence, I ended all casual and promiscuous relationships.

She convinced me, to stop hangin' out on the streets
Her persuasion led me to abandon hanging out in dangerous and illicit environments.

To stop robbin' and stealin', from people like you
I refrained from committing robberies and thefts, especially against innocent individuals like you.

Instead I took her out to the Apollo and the Bronxu
Instead, I escorted her to cultural venues in New York City, such as the Apollo Theater and the Bronx Zoo.

We sailed in Barrio (?) and the Metropolitan too
We explored and enjoyed ourselves in neighborhoods like Barrio and the Metropolitan area.

Got to the point when I was either with her or my crew
My time was primarily split between being with her or spending it with my close group of friends.

So I decided one day, to tell her my feelings was true
One day, I mustered the courage to share with her the sincerity of my emotions.

I couldn't live without her so I told her, facing my fears
Her presence was so essential to my well-being that I confessed my feelings, confronting my own anxieties.

But honey's only response, was a face full of tears
Unfortunately, she reacted by crying instead of reciprocating my feelings.

She could only sob hysterically, holding me tight
She could only express her deep distress and sadness through uncontrollable sobs while tightly embracing me.

I tried to speak, but she wouldn't stop until I left sight
I attempted to console her, but she continued crying until I eventually disappeared from her view.

I felt like a moth who got himself too close to the light
I likened my experience to a moth that ventured too near a bright light and suffered the consequences.

Except I didn't burn, I turned cold after that night
Contrary to being consumed or destroyed, I became emotionally detached and distant after that incident.

"I went on with my life, college and my career
I continued pursuing my education and building my professional path.

Ended up locked up like an animal for a year
Unfortunately, I found myself imprisoned, confined like an animal, for a year.

Where the C.O.'s talk to you like they were the overseer
The correctional officers spoke to prisoners in a condescending manner, asserting control as if they were overseers.

Then I got sent to the hole, when my exit was near
As I neared the end of my incarceration, I was placed in solitary confinement.

At night in my cell, I'd close my eyes and I'd see her
During evenings in my cell, I would shut my eyes and imagine her presence.

Hold her close in my dreams, but when I woke she disappeared
In my dreams, I would hold her tightly, but upon awakenings, she vanished.

Just an empty cell until the state gave me parole in the summer
My cell remained vacant until I was granted early release by the state in the summer.

came back, in tact and on track
When I returned, I was intact and had reestablished stability in my life.

But the fact of the matter, is I still felt cold
However, the truth was that I still felt emotionally detached and distant.

Even after my mother, hugged me, cryin' at home
Despite my mother's compassionate embrace and tears upon my return, I remained emotionally distant.

My real niggaz would catch me thinkin', out of my zone
My true friends noticed that I often seemed lost in my thoughts and mentally distant.

Fuckin' lots of different women, but I still felt alone
Engaging in sexual encounters with numerous women didn't alleviate my feelings of loneliness.

Relatively well-known around the New York underground
I had gained a moderate level of fame within the New York underground music scene.

But I kept thinking of her and how we used to be down
However, my thoughts constantly returned to her and our past connection.

The sound of her voice, and the beautiful smell of her hair
I couldn't forget the sound of her voice or the pleasant aroma of her hair.

Though gone physically, somehow it was still there
Although she was no longer present in person, her essence still lingered within my memories.

I had to do something, because the shit was too much to bear
The emotional burden became too overwhelming, compelling me to take action.

So I went and visited the building where she used to live
I decided to visit the place where she resided in the past.

The world looks a lot different after you do a bid
One's perspective on the world drastically changes after serving a prison sentence.

The way your life done changed
The transformation your life undergoes.

While primitive minds (are) still stuck in the same game
Meanwhile, individuals with narrow-minded thinking remain trapped in the same old patterns of behavior.

Like her cousin who was on the corner slangin' cocaine
For example, her cousin was involved in selling cocaine on the street corner.

Stepped in the lobby and tapped the button next to her last name
I entered the building and pressed the button labeled with her last name in the lobby's intercom system.

Her mom buzzed me up and hugged me up, like a mother oughta
Her mother let me into the building and warmly embraced me, fulfilling a mother's loving role.

But her facial expression changed, when I asked about her daughter
However, her facial expression shifted when I inquired about her daughter.

She told me that there was a note for me, that was left behind
She revealed that there was a letter addressed to me that had been left behind.

She had left it there waiting, for such a long time
She had left the letter there, patiently waiting for a considerable period of time.

I was inclined to ask about it but she brought it up first
Although I had the intention of inquiring about the letter, she broached the topic before I could.

I saw a tear swelling up in her eye, and then she cursed
I observed a tear welling up in her eye, and then she uttered an expletive in frustration or distress.

She told me where the letter was and I started thinking the worst
She disclosed the location of the letter, causing me to anticipate a negative outcome or situation.

Reversed my position, stepped over and opened the door
I changed my physical stance, moved towards the letter's location, and opened the door.

And sure enough there was an envelope with my name on the floor
As expected, I found an envelope bearing my name lying on the floor.

"Nobody loves you more than me carino" is what the letter said
The letter began with the words, "Nobody loves you more than me, carino," which means "love" or "darling."

"By the time you get to read this, I'll probably be dead
The letter revealed that by the time I read it, the writer would likely have passed away.

But when you left in '97 a part of me went to Heaven
The writer expressed that when I left in 1997, a part of her felt like it had ascended to heaven.

I thank God at least I got to know what love really was
The writer expressed gratitude that she had the opportunity to experience genuine love.

But it hurt me, to see what true love really does
However, witnessing the consequences and pain associated with true love caused her distress.

'Cause even though we never made love, you were all that there was
Despite never engaging in sexual activity, I was the most significant person in her life.

It was because I loved you so much that I had to make you leave
Her intense love for me compelled her to make the difficult decision to separate from me.

You made me doubt the way I thought, you made me want to believe
My presence in her life caused her to question her own perspectives and desire to have faith in something greater.

And then I slipped up, and I let you get close to me
However, she made a mistake and allowed herself to become emotionally vulnerable and intimate with me.

It was hard to not be openly when people spoke to me
It became difficult for her to maintain her usual level of openness when others conversed with her.

This was not the way I thought my life was supposed to be
Her life didn't align with the expectations she held.

Baby don't you see, I had a blood transfusion that left me with HIV
She revealed that she had contracted HIV due to a blood transfusion.

Hoped the end exists for me since late in 1993
Since 1993, she had been hoping for her life to come to an end.

I died a virgin, I wish I could've given myself to you
She passed away without experiencing sexual intimacy, and she regretted not having the opportunity to share that with me.

I cried in the hospital because there was no one else but you
During her time in the hospital, she shed tears because she realized that I was the only person who truly mattered to her.

Promise that you'll meet me in paradise inevitably
She asked me to make a promise to meet her in paradise when the time inevitably comes.

No matter what, I'll keep your love forever with me
Regardless of circumstances, she pledged to hold onto my love eternally.

What happened for the rest of the day is still a blur
I have no clear recollection of the events that unfolded for the remainder of that day.

But I remember wishing that I was dead, instead of her
However, one thing remains vivid—I fervently wished that I had died instead of her.

She was buried on August 3rd
Her funeral took place on August 3rd.

The story ends without a sequel
Her narrative concluded, and there is no continuation or follow-up to her story.

And now you know why Technique, don't fucking fall in love with people
This is the reason why I, Technique, strongly advise against getting emotionally attached to others.

Hold the person that you love closely if they're next to you
If the person you love is physically present, hold onto them tightly.

The one you love, not the person that'll simply have sex with you
Cherish the person you truly love, not merely someone who is interested in a sexual relationship with you.

Appreciate them to the fullest extent, and then beyond
Value and treasure your loved one with the utmost appreciation, surpassing any limits.

'Cause you never really know what you got, until it's gone
Because you never truly understand the value of something until you lose it.