De Souza grew up in the conservative small town of Spruce Pine, North Carolina, where she and her artist mother, Kimberly Oberhammer, faced difficulty fitting in. De Souza's father is a Brazilian guitarist who was absent during much of her childhood. Her family moved to Asheville during her teen years.
With encouragement from her mother, De Souza started making music at age 9 and began self-producing her own recordings in 2016. Her first release was an EP titled Boys which was recorded in a friend's garage, followed by another EP titled Don't Cry Just Do in 2017. She self-released her first full-length album, I Love My Mom, in June 2018. Saddle Creek Records discovered the album and gave it a proper release in 2021. The album gained notice from journalists for De Souza's lyrics on taboo topics.
De Souza co-produced her second album, Any Shape You Take, with Brad Cook, who has also produced for Bon Iver and Waxahatchee. The album was released in August 2021 and was noted for De Souza's emotional singing and mastery of several different musical styles. De Souza toured with a full band featuring Dexter Webb (guitar), Zack Kardon (bass), and Avery Sullivan (drums). She also formed a neo-soul side project called Icky Bricketts with Ethan Baechtold.
In February 2023, De Souza announced via social media that her next album All of This Will End would release in April of that year. The announcement was paired with the release of a single called "Younger & Dumber" that same day.
How I Get Myself Killed
Indigo De Souza Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
This is probably how I get myself killed
This is probably how I get myself killed
This is probably how I get myself killed
Did you say anything
On the night of my first hit?
On the night of my first kiss?On the night of my first runaway?
Something must be up, I have never felt so dumb
And I have never gone so numb
And I have never been so late before
This is probably how I get myself killed
This is probably how I get myself killed
Oh, come when you′re called
If this all we've got to work with, then it′s all we've got to blame
Oh, come when you're called
If this is all we′ve got to work with, then it′s all we've got to say
I′m lovin' your skin darlin′, I'm lovin′ this hot morning
I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I'm in the way
I'm lovin′ your skin darlin′, I'm lovin′ this kooky mornin'
I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I′m in the way
This is probably how I get myself killed
The repetition of the phrase "This is probably how I get myself killed" throughout the song suggests a sense of impending doom or danger that the singer is aware of but cannot shake off. It could be a metaphor for taking risks or making bad decisions that could have severe consequences, even fatal ones. The lyrics also highlight the singer's vulnerability and uncertainty in various situations, such as the night of their first hit, kiss, and runaway. These events might have left them feeling exposed or out of their depth, which only adds to their apprehension about the future.
Furthermore, the lines "Something must be up, I have never felt so dumb / And I have never gone so numb / And I have never been so late before" could indicate a sense of regret or a missed opportunity. The singer might be reflecting on a pivotal moment in their life where they failed to take action, and now they are recognizing the repercussions of their inaction. This realization only adds to their feelings of anxiety and fear as they contemplate their own mortality.
Overall, "How I Get Myself Killed" is a poignant and introspective ballad that explores themes of mortality, risk-taking, and regret. The repetition of the phrase "This is probably how I get myself killed" creates a haunting and unforgettable refrain that lingers in the mind long after the song is over.
Line by Line Meaning
This is probably how I get myself killed
The singer repeats this line to emphasize their belief that the situation they are in may be dangerous and could lead to their demise.
Did you say anything
The singer questions if anyone said anything that could have caused the recent events or if they know anything about the situation.
On the night of my first hit?
The singer wonders if someone said something during their first intense or dramatic experience, possibly alluding to a past traumatic event.
On the night of my first kiss?
The artist asks if someone said anything during their first romantic experience, highlighting the importance of that moment in their life.
On the night of my first runaway?
The artist questions if anyone said anything when they first ran away, suggesting a possible history of escaping from their troubles.
Something must be up, I have never felt so dumb
The singer is perplexed by the situation and feels they are missing something important, leading them to feel foolish or ignorant.
And I have never gone so numb
The singer is emotionally overwhelmed by the situation and feels emotionally detached or desensitized.
And I have never been so late before
The artist emphasizes how unusual their tardiness is, implying that they may have a reason for being late.
Oh, come when you're called
The artist implores someone to respond or acknowledge them during this confusing time.
If this all we've got to work with, then it's all we've got to blame
If the situation is all they have to go off of, then the artist places blame on it for their current predicament.
If this is all we've got to work with, then it's all we've got to say
The singer conveys that they have limited information to work with, which is why they must focus on what they do know and make the best of it.
I'm lovin' your skin darlin', I'm lovin' this hot morning
The artist admires someone's physical appearance and enjoys the warm weather, possibly suggesting a moment of distraction from their worries.
I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I'm in the way
The singer desires physical or emotional stimulation to distract them from their troubles or to feel a sense of validation.
Writer(s): Indigo De Souza
Contributed by Aiden B. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@katsnkop706
This is probably how I get myself killed (x4)
Did you say anything on the night of my first hit
On the night of my first kiss
On the night of my first runaway
Something must be up, I have never felt so dumb
I have never gone so numb
I have never been so late before
This is probably how I get myself killed (x4)
Ah, come when you're called
If this is all we've got to work with then it's all we've got to blame
Ah, come when you're called
If this is all we've got to work with then it's all we've got to say
I'm lovin' your skin darlin', I'm lovin' this hot morning
I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I'm in the way
I'm lovin' your skin darlin', I'm lovin' this kooky morning
I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I'm in the way
This is probably how I get myself killed
@phuongnguyen-qy1ih
come from a tiktok test song and i love it from the first beat:3333
@BunnyBunBons
Me too :3
@sora_smilee
Omg me too
@2108-p7y
sameeeee
@woainituin
OMG SAMEE
@Lylaa_014
Yo también
@neutralqueen1084
So good, one could say, it is EXTRAORDINARY!!!!!!
@genesiszarate2710
look at us having good music taste :)
@tacomartinez9469
:)
@simonasaar3780
mhmmm