No Way to Treat a Friend
Indigo Girls Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴

When I walked you to the door, I was feeling mighty fine
I was thinking "Hey, I've got love to ease my mind."
Then I got to the car, and I was staring at your scars
Thinking "Hey, this ain't no way to spend my time."
I want a true love affair, not this touch-and-go in the air
You know I don't know if I'm coming or I'm down
I don't want a love touch and go, I want a feeling I only know
Or else you can't get me out of this town.
When I saw you smile, it was just one look into your eyes
And I was thinking "Hey, you're in love again."
Then I heard you laugh, honey, you were laughing at the past
I was thinking "This ain't no way to treat a friend."
You were laughing at the past, you were smiling through your glass
Watching cars drive away in your mind
You were hoping I would leave, honey, I was dreaming I could stay
This ain't no way to spend my time.
(At this point, recent versions have a guitar solo, while early


versions include a bridge with the following lyrics:
This ain't no way to treat a friend
This ain't no way to see me
I'm looking for the end
This ain't no way to treat a friend.)
I want words, I want touch, maybe that's a bit too much
For someone so far removed from what we used to claim
If you be cruel, I'll still be kind, I've got it in my mind
I'm in love with you, I ain't gonna play your game.
If you want my advice, don't say it's wrong if it feels right
Don't push me down just to see me crawl
I'll be crawling on your floor, I'll be reaching for the door
I'll be crawling right out of your eyes




Honey, I'll be walking right out of your eyes
Baby, I'll be walking right out of your eyes

Overall Meaning

The Indigo Girls' "No Way to Treat a Friend" is a bittersweet song about the complications that arise in relationships. The lyrics describe the singer's feelings after spending time with a lover - at first, she is feeling "mighty fine" and thinks she has found love to ease her mind, but as soon as she gets into her car, she begins to notice the emotional scars on her lover's body and realizes that things are not as perfect as they seem. Furthermore, she doesn't want a love affair that is only "touch-and-go" and wants to experience a deep, meaningful connection, something she calls a "feeling I only know." The song's chorus repeats the sentiment that this isn't the way to treat a friend, highlighting the tension between the desire for a romantic relationship and the need for mutual respect.


As the song progresses, the lyrics become more intense and desperate, as the singer struggles with her feelings for her lover. She longs for words and touch but is fearful that she's asking for too much, and she is determined to keep her dignity intact even as her heart aches. The song's final verse is especially powerful, as the singer warns her lover not to try to undermine her or make her feel small, as she'll leave and never look back. It's a poignant reminder that even in the midst of love's trials, we need to keep our own well-being in mind.


Overall, "No Way to Treat a Friend" is a heartfelt exploration of the complexities of love and relationships. It highlights the push-pull between the desire for intimacy and the need for respect and agency, and it reminds us that sometimes the best thing we can do is walk away.


Line by Line Meaning

When I walked you to the door, I was feeling mighty fine
I was happy when I walked you to the door


I was thinking 'Hey, I've got love to ease my mind.'
I felt comforted by love


Then I got to the car, and I was staring at your scars
I noticed your emotional wounds


Thinking 'Hey, this ain't no way to spend my time.'
I realized this wasn't a good use of my time


I want a true love affair, not this touch-and-go in the air
I desire a real, committed relationship


You know I don't know if I'm coming or I'm down
I'm unsure of my feelings in this situation


I don't want a love touch and go, I want a feeling I only know
I crave a unique, meaningful connection


Or else you can't get me out of this town.
Otherwise, I won't be able to leave this place


When I saw you smile, it was just one look into your eyes
Your smile made me feel happy


And I was thinking 'Hey, you're in love again.'
I thought you were falling in love


Then I heard you laugh, honey, you were laughing at the past
You were laughing about previous experiences


I was thinking 'This ain't no way to treat a friend.'
I thought it was disrespectful to our friendship


You were laughing at the past, you were smiling through your glass
You were reminiscing and enjoying a drink


Watching cars drive away in your mind
You were lost in thought, watching cars go by


You were hoping I would leave, honey, I was dreaming I could stay
You wanted me to go, but I wanted to stay


I want words, I want touch, maybe that's a bit too much
I desire emotional and physical intimacy


For someone so far removed from what we used to claim
Considering how we used to be, this may be too much to ask


If you be cruel, I'll still be kind, I've got it in my mind
Even if you're mean, I'll remain kind


I'm in love with you, I ain't gonna play your game.
I'm in love with you, but won't participate in your manipulations


If you want my advice, don't say it's wrong if it feels right
Trust your instincts, don't second-guess yourself


Don't push me down just to see me crawl
Don't mistreat me for your own amusement


I'll be crawling on your floor, I'll be reaching for the door
I'll try to leave if you treat me poorly


I'll be crawling right out of your eyes
I will be gone from your thoughts and desires


Honey, I'll be walking right out of your eyes
I will be distancing myself from you


Baby, I'll be walking right out of your eyes
I will be removing myself entirely from your life




Contributed by Cole O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

Angie Davis

Amazing Amy.... woohoo, thanks for sharing!

sanneg

Wow, thanks for uploading!

irma found

LOVE it! where/when is this from?

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