SUICIDE
J. Creddy Lyrics

Suicide breaks in the backroom
The feeling of hopelessness and despair is overpowering and present in the darkest corners of my mind.

And I cannot wait until they catch it on camera
I am so consumed by my suicidal thoughts that I wish someone could capture it on camera to prove that it is real.

I ain't in nothing but a bad mood
The weight of my depression is suffocating and I cannot seem to escape the constant sadness.

Yeah I know I got to work on my temper
I am aware that my emotions are volatile and I need to find ways to manage them effectively.

But I cannot fold when they send them
Even when others try to bring me down, I refuse to let them break me and my spirit.

Denim, showing tonight like Jay Leno
I am confident and ready to take on any challenge, just like a performer getting ready to go on stage.

Bitch I'm Heath Ledger so keep your J. Leto
I identify with the struggles of late actor Heath Ledger, and do not wish to be compared to others who may not understand me in the same way.

Pot-head
I may use marijuana to cope with my mental health struggles.

Watch what you're calling the kettle
Be mindful of the words you use when referring to others, as they may also be experiencing similar internal battles.

I'ma let you know I ain't the one
I want to assert myself and let others know that I am still here, fighting to survive and not giving up.

I leave flows in a casket
I express my innermost thoughts and feelings through my music and lyrics, and sometimes those thoughts may feel like a part of me is dying with each song.

Niggas get right with a gun
Some may turn to violence as a way to solve their problems, but I want to find a healthier way to cope and heal.

I'ma get right with my past then
I acknowledge that past trauma and experiences may contribute to my mental health struggles, and I am actively working to address and overcome them.

I'ma get right with my dawgs
I value the support and love of my friends and family, and want to continue to strengthen those relationships to help me through tough times.

Backwoods, and I'm piping them all
I may turn to smoking marijuana as a way to manage my mental and emotional pain and find temporary relief.

Plumbing, like I'm chewing a shroom
I may use psychedelic drugs to explore my mind and gain a better understanding of my thoughts and emotions, but also recognize the potential risks and negative effects they may have on my mental health.

Mario, in a room full of goons
I feel alone and isolated in a crowded room, and may struggle to connect with others due to my mental health struggles.

Me and Guap, we just plotting to do
I have close friends who support me and we work together to achieve our goals and dreams.

Like what do it take for a drop
I may struggle with feelings of inadequacy and wonder what it takes to truly succeed and be happy.

What do I got to do, I ain't no road dog
I want to find success and happiness without resorting to violence or criminal behavior.

Ain't with the funnies, so don't call me Marmaduke
I take my mental health struggles seriously and do not appreciate being dismissed or made fun of by others who may not understand what I'm going through.

Niggas they out here, doing what karma do
I recognize that actions have consequences, both positive and negative, and strive to make positive choices for my own well-being and happiness.

Niggas get popped, don't know the harm it do
I've seen firsthand the devastating effects that violence and drugs can have on individuals and their loved ones, and want to avoid those negative outcomes in my own life.

Harvesting crops, do like a farmer do
I want to work hard and be diligent in my efforts to achieve my goals and overcome my mental health struggles, just like a farmer works tirelessly to grow crops.

Stopped by the cops, pointing their arm at you (What you gonna do?)
I may feel unfairly targeted or oppressed by societal structures that do not take into consideration the struggles of those with mental health issues.

Remember early morning watching cartoons
I remember a time when life was simpler and the weight of my mental health struggles had not yet impacted my life.

Now I'm getting high, late night, in a dark room
I turn to drugs or other unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with the pain and darkness I feel inside, often feeling alone and isolated while doing so.

We was six deep in the whip
I have fond memories of spending time with my friends and loved ones, and wish to create more happy memories in the future.

Call it carpool
We were sharing in each other's company and enjoying each other's presence, just like people who share a carpool.

Harpoon
I can be destructive and harmful when I am not in a good mental state, just like a sharp and dangerous harpoon.

Get a nigga wet
I may use violent or destructive behavior as a way to cope or solve my problems, but recognize that this is not a healthy or sustainable approach.

Now I'm trapped in my mind but it's open
My mental health struggles may take up a lot of space in my thoughts, but I am open to exploring and addressing them in order to heal and move forward.

Walls up, pad-locked doors when I'm coping
I may withdraw or isolate myself when I am struggling with my mental health, putting up walls and locking myself away from others in order to cope.

Come let's watch the rain
I want to connect with others and find joy in simple moments of life, like watching the beauty of a rainy day together.

But it's falling up
Even in moments of beauty and joy, I may still feel the weight of my mental health struggles and the feeling that everything is not quite right.

That's why I pray to God when I'm smoking
I may turn to spirituality or prayer as a way to cope or find meaning in my struggles, even if it means doing so while using drugs.