Closer
JJ Lyrics

I feel my last breath coming, I'll be fronting if I lied and said nothing
An awareness of my impending demise looms; denying it would be a deception of self.

Was the cause of my death in this world that was bugging
I ponder if the stresses and chaos of life will ultimately lead to my downfall.

A shallow man that's becoming sharp like knifes when they stab
Emerging from superficiality, I now possess a biting edge through my painful experiences.

Pain is seasonal and turned me to an outcast
Suffering ebbs and flows, and in its wake, I find myself isolated from others.

A classic failure at best, spreading my misery from stress
I see myself as a typical unsuccessful figure, sharing my burdens borne from anxiety.

Feeling cursed more than blessed to be labeled as a mess
I perceive my existence as more of a burden than a gift, marked by turmoil.

No one cares 'till the suicide delivers the news
Society seems indifferent until a tragedy sheds light on my suffering.

On when you passed on 'unexpectedly with no clues
Leaving the earth without warning leaves others puzzled about the signs I may have shown.

When I'm gone, will a tear from an eye shed?
I question whether my absence will evoke any genuine emotion from those around me.

I feel it won't cause in this generation, 'love is dead'
In today’s world, I sense that heartfelt connections are lacking, leading to apathy.

My head is filled with so much dread like a storm race
My mind is overwhelmed with anxiety, resembling a turbulent storm gathering strength.

Speeding to kill me with a struck of its evil grace
The intensity of my fears rushes towards me, threatening my very existence.

What's a prayer to demons that don't care about faith?
I ponder the futility of seeking solace from malevolent forces that disregard hope.

Cause their missions are to make sure nobody is safe
These dark influences seem determined to ensure that no one can find peace.

What I continue to face could cause my last breath
The struggles I endure threaten to bring me closer to the end of my life.

To happen faster towards the fact that I'm getting closer to death, ugh
Each challenge I confront propels me more rapidly toward my own mortality.

I'm getting closer to death, closer, closer, ya
I feel the reality of my impending demise drawing nearer with each moment.

Another body in the casket on a permanent vanish
There’s another soul lost forever, illustrating the stark inevitability of death.

Under the dirt, will I be next to leave this earth?
I contemplate my own mortality, wondering if I will soon join those laid to rest.

Or exist and keep on suffering with this pain that is non ending?
I consider the alternative: a ceaseless existence plagued by relentless anguish.

I keep writing to keep my head straight from doing harm
I turn to writing as a means of maintaining my mental stability and avoiding self-destruction.

The only wish for my brain is if I wasn't born
At my lowest moments, I yearn for a reality where I never existed.

Or hoped that it was living freely in another body
I fantasize about existing in a healthier, more functional form, liberated from turmoil.

Without a mental disorder and functions properly
A desire to be free of my psychological struggles and to be able to thrive like others.

Cause I was cursed way before I even managed to flow
I feel as though I was destined to struggle before I ever found my voice or purpose.

Before I lost control deep inside and never spoke
I faced an internal collapse that silenced me, preventing my cries for help from emerging.

Now, writing to my brain is like a medicine pill
Expressing myself through writing serves as a therapeutic remedy for my troubled mind.

That helps me get through the days when I can't chill
It aids me in coping during times of intense anxiety and unrest.

Depression hurts, then it kills when you're mentally ill
The torment of depression can be both agonizing and lethal for those suffering from it.

It cost a fortune for help, on top of all the bills
Seeking assistance often entails overwhelming financial burdens alongside existing debts.

They pile up to a point where you don't wanna survive
The weight of these accumulated struggles can drive one to contemplate the desire to live.

That's the feeling of a brain that would rather die
This illustrates the mentality where the mind becomes weary, preferring to embrace death over hardship.

Cause being stronger than pain is such a waste when you're drained
Trying to valiantly overcome suffering seems futile when one feels entirely exhausted.

To feeling like the days are repeating the same thang
Each day blurs into the next, leading to a sense of monotonous despair.

I can't breathe, God is this my last breath?
In moments of distress, I grapple with the fear that this could be my final breath.

I'm paranoia from not knowing what is gonna come next, it's like
I experience a heightened state of anxiety, unsure of what tomorrow may bring.

I'm getting closer to death, closer, closer, ya
This realization solidifies; I feel my life is drawing to a close with frightening speed.

Another body in the casket on a permanent vanish
More individuals fall victim to death, reinforcing the haunting finality of existence.

Under the dirt, will I be next to leave this earth?
As I witness loss, I can't help but wonder if I am destined to follow into the ground.

Or exist and keep on suffering with this pain that is non ending?
I face the grim reality of either facing death or enduring relentless suffering in life.

Getting closer to death, ya
The dark presence of mortality looms ever closer, casting a shadow over my existence.