I'm The One
JL B. Hood Lyrics

I've been better, I'm in bed and
I've had better days, I'm currently resting in bed

I'm embedded, man, I have lived better
I'm feeling stuck and have experienced better times

I've seen better days, man we all have
We've all had better days than this

Twenty twenty's nothing but an unshaved ballbag
2020 has been a terrible year

It's not all bad, sorted out my sock drawer
There may be bad aspects to 2020, but I found some positivity in organizing my sock drawer

Every single pair of them, folded them up proper
I took the time to fold each and every pair of socks correctly

Then I watched some Predator, get him to the chopper
I watched the movie Predator and enjoyed its action-packed scenes

Better stay in bed or get arrested by a copper
It's better to stay in bed than risk getting arrested by the police

Put some Netflix on
I turned on Netflix to watch some shows

Get a beverage dawg, be the best you can be
Grab a drink and enjoy the moment

I applied for a rescue dog
I filled out an application to adopt a rescue dog

But if I get you dog, you're rescuing me
If I adopt a dog, it will bring me happiness and help me get through tough times

Meanwhile I'mma study and get fit
While waiting for a rescue dog, I'm focusing on studying and improving my physical health

I've never had time for that
I have never had the time or motivation to focus on self-improvement before

But the way I'm coming out's how I went in
I want to come out of this pandemic with positive changes, just as I entered it as my old self

And that is dumb and fat, so let's go
I didn't like my previous self and want to make improvements

Missing the drugs, son? Missing your dealer?
Feeling the urge to use drugs? Missing the person who supplied them to you?

Missing a loved one? Listen, I feel ya
I understand the feeling of missing someone dear

We're all missing someone, I'm missing my Mum, I'm
Everyone is missing someone during this pandemic, including myself who misses their mother

Missing your mum too, I'm just having fun, son
I'm making a joke about missing your mother as well but empathize with your feelings

Waiting on prescriptions of Valium
I'm waiting for a prescription refill of the medication Valium

Waiting on a shipment of Ambien
I'm waiting for a shipment of the medication Ambien to arrive

Waiting on 'My Corona' from Weird Al
I'm excitedly waiting for Weird Al's new song 'My Corona'

If I'm stuck at home, might as well grow my beard out
I'm making the best out of being stuck at home by growing out my beard

Like Abe Lincoln, this so grueling
Growing a beard is a long and difficult process, just like when Abraham Lincoln grew his

It's funny, I can't get out of this funk
It's ironic how I can't shake off this feeling of being down

Day drinking, home schooling
Passing the time by drinking during the day and teaching my children from home

Mummy, I think that my math teacher's drunk
My child thinks their math teacher is intoxicated during online classes

I'm so-so, have my ups and downs like a vocoder
I have moments where I feel okay and moments where I struggle, much like the ups and downs in a vocoder's sound

Have the cov-odor, and by the time we're over
I have a bad odor from being stuck inside during the COVID-19 pandemic, and it seems like there's no end in sight

The corona have a combover
The COVID-19 pandemic has become something that's constantly hanging over our heads

Was a road dog, now I'm a homebody
I used to be someone who was constantly traveling, but now I'm stuck at home

And I have no dog, feel like nobody
I don't have a dog as a companion and sometimes feel like I am alone

So, if you know of someone with a rescue
If you know of someone who has a rescue dog available for adoption

Let me know 'cause I need a pet just to get through
Please let me know because having a pet will help me through these difficult times

I pulled up, all dressed in
I arrived wearing a mask and gloves

A mask and gloves but it's not a sex thing
I'm wearing a mask and gloves for health reasons, not for any sexual purposes

Well I guess it's a bit of a sex thing?
Although it's not intended for that purpose, maybe it can add to some excitement in the bedroom

On Pornhub "Pandemic" is trending
The pornographic website Pornhub has a trending section related to the COVID-19 pandemic

This really isn't normal, feeling pretty mortal
The current state of the world due to the pandemic doesn't feel normal and makes me feel more aware of my own mortality

Thought all my feelings and problems were awful
I used to think my own emotional struggles and personal problems were bad, but the pandemic made me realize there are bigger issues than just my own

Now I nearly chortle, thinking about them
Looking back, some of my own past problems seem small and almost comical in comparison to the current global crisis

Drowning in worry, I really need a snorkel
I'm overwhelmed with worry and anxiety and need some way to alleviate the pressure and stay afloat

I'mma still stay home though
Despite everything, I will continue to stay home and do my part to help slow the spread of the virus

I'm good, I'm good, I'm pretty good
I'm doing fine and don't have any serious issues at the moment

Thanks for asking, that's mighty thoughtful
Thank you for asking about my well-being, it's kind of you to be concerned

I'm good, I'm good, but not great
I'm okay, but not exceptional

How are you? 'Cause I'm kinda awful
I'm asking about your well-being because despite my own troubles, I still care about others