Tenni met Jessicka while attending Piper High School in Sunrise, Florida. They had begun writing songs, but had not yet formed a band when Moulder and Inhell joined them to create the band that would become Jack Off Jill. Jack Off Jill's first show was opening for fellow Floridian and long time friend Marilyn Manson and his shock-rock outfit, Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids, at a Davie, Florida night club called The Plus Five Lounge. The female foursome quickly became one of the most exciting and controversial underground bands during their heyday. Surname-free singer, Jessicka delivered gut-wrenching lyrics in an angelic to banshee-like voice and performed shocking on-stage antics that included stripping young men on stage while the band and crowd taunted the exposed fans, as well as covering the audience with spit and real blood and candy. Jessicka even spent a night in jail when she and Manson were arrested after a 1994 concert in Jacksonville, Florida, after being accused by the town's Christian Coalition for breaking the town's adult entertainment codes. [4] Though the members of Jack Off Jill never claimed to be shock rockers, they were often labeled as such. In fact, Jack Off Jill had more in common musically with riot grrrl acts such as Bikini Kill and Babes in Toyland than they did with Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids, with whom Jack Off Jill would later be constantly compared. It did not help that after a four year relationship, then boyfriend Twiggy Ramirez, began to mimic Jessicka's dress and appearance, making critics' comparisons draw even closer.[5]
Jack Off Jill released several independent records: "Children 5 and Up", "The Boygrinder Sessions", "Cannibal Song Book", (produced by JOJ and Manson) "Cockroach Waltz", and several 7" singles. It was not until, April 8, 1994, when JOJ played a benefit show for Rock Against Domestic Violence with Babes in Toyland and 7 Year Bitch, the same day lead-singer of American grunge rock band Nirvana, Kurt Cobain, was found dead in his Seattle home, that Jack Off Jill caught the eye of record labels. Drummer Lori Barbero from Babes wanted to sign them to her now defunct Minneapolis label Spanish Fly, but it was not to be. Jack Off Jill then caught the eyes and ears of Los Angeles based Risk Records, who signed them in January 1997. They replaced both Ah Cha Cha and Inhell with new members because the two were not ready to leave Florida. The band released their first national 7" "Girl Scout"/"American Made" in March of 1997. On September 9 1997, their first full-length Sexless Demons And Scars (produced by Gumball's leader Don Fleming, who produced Hole's Pretty on the Inside) was released..
After moderate underground success, touring with Lords of Acid, and playing to sold-out crowds in 1997, Jack Off Jill headed to Los Angeles in order to complete 1998's Covetous Creature, a remix EP of songs from Sexless Demons and Scars with the help of SMP (Scott Putesky), a founding member of Marilyn Manson and new drummer Claudia Rossi.[6] The new manifestation of Jack Off Jill hit the road on a national tour with Psychotica, joined along the way by Switchblade Symphony.
The band road-tested new songs in March of 1999 when JOJ were asked to take the opening slot on the Marilyn Manson / Monster Magnet / Hole tour after Hole departed.[3] With Putesky no longer in the guitar position, JOJ enlisted the help of Jessicka's then-boyfriend guitarist Clint Walsh, original JOJ guitarist Michelle Inhell (Oliver), and drummer Norm Block (formerly of Plexi) for the tour. On July 17, 2000, JOJ released their second full-length CD, Clear Hearts Grey Flowers on Risk Records, that featured a cover by artist Mark Ryden and was produced by Chris Vrenna of Tweaker and Nine Inch Nails. The new album was different from the first having a more Gothic rock sound and a cover of the Cure's "Lovesong" was added as a hidden track. Due to pressure, poor publicity for C.H.G.F, several line up changes, tension between founding members Jessicka and Robin, and management problems, Jack Off Jill played its last show at The Troubadour in Los Angeles in April of 2000. They were joined onstage by guitarist Helen Storer of the UK all-girl band Fluffy (and later of Thee Heavenly Music Association) and producer Chris Vrenna on drums. [7] JOJ officially called it quits in late 2000.
Years after their break-up, Jack Off Jill still manage to have a growing online cult following. Reviews for Jessicka's current band Scarling. begin with critics touting JOJ as "riot-goth legends" [8] and refer to Jack Off Jill's final album as," excellent, yet under- appreciated". [9]
In 2015, they reunited for some shows. One was in Ashville, North Carolina on July 18, 2015. They performed their last show was on October 23, 2015 (Jessicka's birthday) in London.
Original Line-up
* Jessicka (Jessicka Fodera) vocals
* Tenni Ah-Cha-Cha (Tenni Arslynian) drums
* Agent Moulder (Robin Moulder) bass, piano
* Michelle Inhell (Michelle Oliver) guitar
Former members
* Lauracet Simpson (Laura Simpson) – drums 1996-1997
* Ho Ho Spade (Jeff Tucci) – guitar 1996-1997
* SMP (Daisy Berkowitz / Scott Putesky) – guitar 1997-1998
* Claudia (Claudia Rossi) – drums 1997-1999
* Clint Walsh – guitar 1999-2000
* Norm Block – live drums 1999-2000
* Hellen Storer (Helen Storer) – live guitar 2000
* Chris Vrenna – live drums 2000
Jessicka is now singing with Scarling
Robin is now writing, recording and creating with TCR
The current musical status of the other members can be found by going to www.jackoffjill.com
Fear of Dying
Jack Off Jill Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I'm just afraid of being bored
I'm not afraid of speaking my mind
I'm just afraid of being ignored
I'm not afraid of feeling
And I'm not afraid of trying
I'm just afraid of losing
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I do
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I
I'm not afraid of being sick
I'm more afraid of being well
I'm not of afraid put the gun in my hand
I'm just afraid it'll hurt like hurt like hell
I'm not afraid of screaming
And I'm not afraid of crying
I'm just afraid that I am afraid of dying
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I do
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I
I'm not afraid of looking ugly
I couldn't care what they say
I'm not afraid of happy endings
I'm just afraid my life won't work that way
I'm not afraid of forgiveness
I'll absolve you everything
I'm not afraid of lying
But I am afraid of dying
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you and yes I do
Without you all I do is sit and think about you
Without you yes I
The lyrics of Jack Off Jill's song "Fear of Dying" are a raw and honest depiction of the singer's innermost anxieties. The song speaks to the idea that while many of us are willing to take risks and chase our dreams, there is always the underlying fear of failure or loss. The line "I'm not afraid of standing still, I'm just afraid of being bored" suggests that the singer is not afraid of taking a break from her pursuits, but rather she is afraid of not living a life that is fulfilling or worthwhile.
The song also delves into the fear of mortality and the unknown, with the line "I am afraid of dying". The singer is not afraid of feeling or trying, but instead is afraid of the ultimate loss of life. The repetition of the line "Without you yes, I do and I hope that you do too" suggests that the singer is not alone in her fears, and that she has someone who shares her experiences.
The lyrics of "Fear of Dying" are a powerful reminder that despite our bravado and confidence, we are all vulnerable to fears and doubts. The song encourages us to embrace these fears and to find comfort in the people and experiences that make life worth living.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm not afraid of standing still
I have no fear of staying in one place
I'm just afraid of being bored
I am afraid of ending up in a state of disinterest
I'm not afraid of speaking my mind
I have no reservation about expressing my thoughts and opinions
I'm just afraid of being ignored
I fear to be left unnoticed and unrecognized for what I have to say
I'm not afraid of feeling
I am not scared of experiencing emotions
And I'm not afraid of trying
I am not hesitant to attempt or experiment
I'm just afraid of losing
I have anxiety over losing what I have or value
And I am afraid of dying
I have fear of the state of being lifeless
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
I do experience fear without you and I hope you go through the same so that you can understand me
I'm not afraid of being sick
I am not frightened of falling ill
I'm more afraid of being well
I feel increased fear of becoming well and returning to normalcy
I'm not of afraid put the gun in my hand
I am not scared to hold a weapon in my hand
I'm just afraid it'll hurt like hurt like hell
My fear stems from the dread of experiencing acute pain
I'm not afraid of screaming
I am not frightened of shouting aloud
And I'm not afraid of crying
I am not scared of shedding tears
I'm just afraid that I am afraid of dying
I have fear in my fear of dying
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
I do experience fear without you and I hope you go through the same so that you can understand me
I'm not afraid of looking ugly
I have no apprehension of appearing unattractive
I couldn't care what they say
I don't pay attention to what others say about me
I'm not afraid of happy endings
I have no fear of concluding events happily
I'm just afraid my life won't work that way
I am apprehensive that my life may not develop as planned
I'm not afraid of forgiveness
I am not scared of pardoning someone
I'll absolve you everything
I am willing to pardon you for everything
I'm not afraid of lying
I don't have the fear of deceit
But I am afraid of dying
Despite not having many fears, I am still afraid of dying
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
I do experience fear without you, and I hope you go through the same so that you can understand me
Without you and yes I do
I can confirm that without you, I do experience fear
Without you all I do is sit and think about you
When you are not present, all that I do is ponder over you
Without you yes I
Yes, I do experience fear in your absence
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind