All C
James A Lyrics

Even if I live for a hundred more years
Have a hundred more lovers
Shed a hundred more tears
Even if I see all the moons and the stars
And write a hundred songs about my broken heart
I would never know, what I could have said
What I could have did, who’d I ever been
If I could walk away with my peace tonight
It might get better but this moment has to feel right
I’ve gotta be the man, that I see for my life

And baby if you get to close I’m gonna fall right…
Into that hole again, into that endless night.
It might get better but this moment doesn’t feel right
I’m not alone till I am thinking of you
I have it all, all of it I have to lose
I’d have the whole world but I choose
To see all the things I would never see, If I ever ran with you
Even if I fall for living life too hard
For loving too strong, for letting down my guard
Even if you call for mistakes that I made
For the time I put while I dig my shallow grave
I need you to know, where I want to be
It's right here with you, but this life doesn’t agree with me
And baby you know how, I toss and turn at night
It might get better but these moments don’t feel right
You know I’ve gotta change, you know I've gotta grow
And baby If I get close I know…
I'm gonna fall again, into that endless night
It might get better but this moment doesn’t feel right
I’m not alone till I am thinking of you
I have it all, all of it I have to lose
I’d have the whole world but I choose
To see all the things I would never see, If I ever ran with you
You. You
But its gonna be a long long road, if I ever ran with you
Even if we live for a hundred more years
We have a hundred more lovers
Shed a hundred more tears
Even if we see all the moons and the stars
And we write a hundred songs about our broken heart
I would never know, what I could have said
What I could have did, who’d I ever been
If I could walk away with my peace tonight
It might get better, but this moment doesn't feel right
I’ve gotta be the man, that I see for my life
And baby if I get to close I’m gonna fall right…
Into that hole again, into that endless night.
It might get better but this moment doesn’t feel right
I’m not alone till I am thinking of you
I have it all, all of it I have to lose
I’d have the whole world but I choose
To see all the things I would never see, If I ever ran with you

Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid

Written by: James Oblak

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

@LambentIchor

4y↑228

@Jack Tyrrell Globalism is a result of a capitalism trying to erase national boundaries. And you are right that capitalism does cause immigration because people want to move to where they can have a better life. Marx warned that it would. The capitalist will either import cheap labour or export capital to parts where there is cheap labour.
But that isn't the same as colonialism: "the policy or practice of acquiring full or partial political control over another country, occupying it with settlers, and exploiting it economically."
Economic migrants who enter a country are not taking control over that country; they become part of it by contributing to it. By doing this they aren't in any way erasing the borders that make up nations. Nations can continue to trade amongst each other. It is a false equivalence to say economic migrants are colonists.

It is transnational corporations that are creating Globalism. They pay off politicians who act against national interests by instituting trading treaties that force nations to lower their standards. International trade is predicated upon the nation, it's right there in the name.

If you are for the nation refusing to kow-tow to the corporations who would usurp their sovereignty I'm with you. But that isn't done by attacking migrants who strengthen nations by supporting them in taxes they pay, and in services they provide.

@Akumasama

1y↑2

"Reports have suggested the museum's chairman, George Osborne, is close to agreeing a deal with Greece.

Michelle Donelan told BBC Radio 4's The Media Show that permanently returning them was "not his intention".

In a wide-ranging interview, she said sending the sculptures to Greece would "open a can of worms" and be a "dangerous road to go down".

It would "open the gateway to the question of the entire contents of our museums", she said."

---
Seems highly appropriate...

All comments from YouTube:

@jainish1556

4y↑33.7K

UK is the largest supplier of Independence days in the world.

@davestationuk7374

4y↑818

We came ,we saw ,we conquered and gave back
And you got a holiday.
You’re welcome 😂

@anupsrivatsa1808

4y↑174

They created the demand also😂

@xuan.1611

4y↑37

Guess America isnt the best in freedom

@dominicomucci3014

4y↑131

@@deejin25 someone missed history classes. You have to be American with that confused view of ww2 and the post events. 🤣😂

@raquille1

4y↑77

@@deejin25 im guessing you are American- conveniently forgot that the US was too chicken shit to join the war in the first place!

382 More Replies...

@lacountess

4y↑22.2K

I remember visiting the Acropolis museum in Greece and every set of objects was missing a piece and the answer to the question “where is it?” was always “at the British Museum.”

@dominicomucci3014

4y↑641

Good job really otherwise the answer would have been where is it? "Smashed to pieces and lost."

@user-yg4tr5fp3s

4y↑2.7K

@@dominicomucci3014 Well, no... The answer would probably be "at the Acropolis museum in Greece"

@dominicomucci3014

4y↑222

@@user-yg4tr5fp3s no it would have been. It's smashed to bits. Or it's in someone's private collection where no one can see it.

@someoneonearth1617

4y↑349

Jolly Infidel No they didn’t... most Greek artefacts we have were looted during a war with the Ottomans

@Alex_Deam

4y↑1.5K

@@dominicomucci3014 absolute nonsense. I've been to both the British Museum and the Acropolis Museum, the half of the Parthenon Marbles in the Acropolis Museum are exactly as well preserved as the half that was stolen and placed in the British Museum - with the added bonus that the ones in Greece are in a glass-walled room overlooking the Acropolis itself, their original context. You're talking shite.

206 More Replies...

@SeanMusicFreak

4y↑23K

My dude really color coordinated his entire wardrobe to compliment his hair. Respect.

@KevoKevo1986

4y↑674

And that background

@outofAlog

4y↑34

Ginja Ninjaaa fuck off!!!!

Does that translate????

@outofAlog

4y↑212

It’s the color of every Brits soul

@oranheaney6110

4y↑261

It was a 4 part Netflix stand up special, each was colour coordinated to his 4 emotions.

@M-Manie

4y↑52

Colour *

104 More Replies...

@hedgehog3180

36w↑1.1K

My favourite exhibit in the British Museum is a greek statue missing its head with a plaque next to it angrily complaining about a Danish captain who "stole" it without a hint of irony or self awareness. You can find the head in the Danish National Museum and its plaque just says that the rest of the statue is in the British Museum.

@LandyVlad_Rides

31w↑3

Hey do you have any links? I can feel a YT short coming on....

@dollyquerel3095

31w↑5

Incroyable

@hedgehog3180

28w↑1

@@LandyVlad_Rides What like a link to it's physical location?

@LandyVlad_Rides

28w↑2

@@hedgehog3180 A link to the story

@sirreginaldfishingtonxvii6149

26w

lmao

5 More Replies...

@ncj687

4y↑10.8K

This Weasley is far funnier than the other ones.

@kikithewitch3666

3y↑80

I agree

@swathi3687

3y↑15

@@kikithewitch3666 I don't.

@akiratoro840

3y↑53

@@swathi3687 coolio.

@akiratoro840

3y↑10

In deed

@resathe6760

3y↑79

Don't insult the twins please.

17 More Replies...

@nayan7207

2y↑993

I've got a British Museum joke but it was stolen.

@williamsanders6114

2y↑21

Well played.

@ferociouslioness

1y↑7

LMAOOO I SEE WHAT U DID THERE

@snailmailmagic1133

1y↑6

Hahaha maybe you should check British museum 😂

@ukbloke28

35w

old and dusty as the artefacts.

@Edgea22

4y↑10.4K

Indiana Jones: That belongs in a museum!
Confused indigenous person: Or it can just go back in my house

@VincentGonzalezVeg

4y↑319

Yeah he's a grave robber

@seanderoiste4661

4y↑13

Vincent Gonzalez lol why are you so triggered it’s not our fault the English are colonisers fuck off you triggered Tory

@jamesmcpherson8599

4y↑250

@@seanderoiste4661 ?

@akselevensen2763

4y↑298

@@seanderoiste4661 Speaking of triggered...

@seanderoiste4661

4y↑16

Aksel Evensen ye English have too much pride for yourselves it’s hilarious taking the piss out of ye is easy ye are all so sensitive

58 More Replies...

@nz9562

4y↑5.8K

The British said Your not getting it back but you can have a miniature version at the gift shop when you finish staring at it 😂😂😂

@spiritusIRATUS

3y↑91

Aye, for 10 pounds per square inch

@sophiaredwood5825

3y↑1

LOL

@Berserker3624

3y↑19

@@spiritusIRATUS that's highway robbery...on us! We could easily mark up the price to 20 pounds and get the same demand!

@andrewberghorn5598

2y↑2

You can't have it, you can buy it

@JamesBowmanUK

2y↑17

"This statue of our king is very, very important to my culture."
"Well then, for just a tenner you can get an inexact 1/25th scale model of it as a novelty pencil topper, or even a gonk!"

6 More Replies...

@Luischocolatier

4y↑8.3K

This reminds me there's this roman site here in southern Spain in which you can find a whole roman mosai perfectly conserved except for a perfect circle in which there should be the face of a medusa. In its place there's concrete.

In the USA, the Smithsonian IIRC, has the mosaic of the face of a medusa in a perfectly round circle, sitting next to a plaque saying it was "found in Spain" as if they hadn't come here, carved it out of the full piece and then plastered it out with concrete.

Imagine doing that to the Gioconda. All of her except the left eye is on the Louvre, and where the left eye should be there's only tape. Then at the other side of the world, you find a museum in California with a piece of parchment and an eye on it, a plaque next to it saying "Eye of a lady. Found in France"

@Luischocolatier

4y↑868

On the other hand, we have a whole Egyptian temple here in Madrid that was taken stone by stone from the site and then assembled whole back again here...

@Luischocolatier

4y↑431

But hey, we kept all of the temple instead of taking a column or something

@Luischocolatier

4y↑517

I honestly can't decide which one is worse, if taking the whole thing or just breaking a tiny bit so that the rest stays on place and you only get to show a tiny "souvenir" you got

@CanelaAguila

4y↑176

@Thelondonbadger So you thought it necessary to lecture Spanish people on our history in a completely unrelated discussion?

@CanelaAguila

4y↑35

@@Luischocolatier Which site in the south is this? Sounds interesting!

65 More Replies...

@lucieptacnikova8039

3y↑800

"The secret ingredient is crime."

@SK-tk6bi

😂😂

@tillerman7272

1y↑1

chance would be a fine thing

@adamjones4606

@@tillerman7272 a fine thing indeed !

@erickruckenberg8716

4y↑4.2K

So a British Museum in overly simplified terms would be considered an empire's scrapbook.

@unclenogbad1509

4y↑22

Yeah, pretty much.

@XX2Media

3y↑62

More like their loot storage, to be honest...

@malahammer

3y↑60

Or.............the biggest crime scene in the world :)

@XX2Media

3y↑6

@@malahammer It could easily be both and cannot be neither.

@ef1876

3y↑44

A scrapbook but all the scraps have been torn off of other people’s family pictures

31 More Replies...

@tooba1235

3y↑1.3K

In india.. a lot of ancient forts have missing things like a wall with cavities that are supposed to be filled with gemstones , a golden throne or a famous crown.. good to see a British person acknowledge these things

@fortuitousthings8606

Didn't the Mughal empire steel the whole country?

@kraai98

1y↑63

It's like serial killers keeping jewelry of their victims. Sickening.

@michaelplunkett8059

1y↑23

Like the Mughals never conquered anything. How

@tiestokygoericprydz3963

@@kraai98 not all can be stolen unless you know what happened at the time

@mathuraditya

1y↑61

@@michaelplunkett8059 mughals conquered and ruled india from india. they didn't steal the stuff and then nope out. what they did can be called destruction of stuff at best, which the british did in addition to stealing anyway.
also, even if the mughals stole, that wouldn't have given the right to steal to the british. two wrongs don't make a right. just because someone else is doing a crime doesn't mean you should do it too.

25 More Replies...

@jjgasp3186

4y↑9.1K

you fools, he doesn't HAVE a colour scheme, he IS THE colour scheme

@freebeerfordworkers

3y↑26

In the early 19th century the Ashanti wiped out a small British force in modern Ghana and made the Governor and his deputies skulls into gold mounted drinking cups. Now those are really tasteful ornaments to show and use for that special guest.

@jelly2584

3y↑22

@@freebeerfordworkers my dad was from Ghana. I don’t know why that’s relevant it’s just Ghana never gets brought up so I got excited.

@wearethechange128

3y↑12

99.96% chance he’s waring mustard coloured boxers

@edwinamendelssohn5129

2y↑1

More like he is the scheme

@garrybarry4286

4y↑2.9K

The struggle Australian Aboriginals had to get back bones of their ancestors was real.

@cathuang6212

4y↑52

Nick S that's literally not how anything works. have you never read or heard of "guns, germs and steel" by jared diamond?

@SuperNictastic

4y↑7

@@cathuang6212 Yes it is. People that adapt, invent and progress own the world and those that never did still live in squalor. Have you ever been to the Northern territories. It's populated by Abo's waiting for the bottle shops to open so they can get drunk on their giro. It's just natural selection in it's modern form.

Huns' germs and steel is a load of nonsense. It's base don the premise that Europe for example was just lucky. Lucky in where it is located, lucky in that it developed agriculture. Absolute nonsense.

@Gobsmacked29

4y↑143

@@SuperNictastic humanity's existence is just a bunch of luck, so the premise about Europe being lucky isn't nonsense.

@SuperNictastic

4y↑7

@@Gobsmacked29 ok. I. Will leg you have your moment. Explain to me why Europe was just lucky and a much older people's like Africans weren't.

@cathuang6212

4y↑127

Nick S if you look into the argument then you'll see it does make a lot of sense, or you simply believe, nah, fuck compassion and empathy, what other reason could there be than the fact they're meant to be used as a stepping stone for the True Humans? and you're ignoring the systematic problems that present themselves in modern day. Taking away land and blank treaties today that still encourage cultural genocide, with choices like "throw away a part of yourself to join the cog in 'real society' or continue to suffer in reservations or insufficient land... oh and also if you make the wrong choice, in this difficult decision, it's YOUR fault."

And yes, that's exactly what a large part of it is. Tribes that migrated to Europe instead of to the Americas got lucky. They got lucky their continent lays horizontal so that the types of food they grew held competition. They got lucky their tribes relied on competition and pressures of looming war rather than tribes that were nomadic, or maybe tribes that warred on a smaller scale because trade was so much more important. Yes, they got lucky that the Aztecs were so caught of guard by guns, yes they were lucky first nations decided to help the europeans in their first few winters instead of letting them die of scurvy, or instead of keeping their mouth shut. Isn't it just so lucky that because of Europe's cramped and dysentery areas, they were able to ramp up the diseases and they carried to the Americas, and then blamed the natives for not have had the immune systems for something they'd never encountered? The only reason why they are the people who could 'adapt, invent, and progress' was BECAUSE of their situations, their opportunities, and yes, luck.

It's easy to point at modern examples and say that because of all the progression made today, any mistake or unhealthy choice couldn't possibly be because of anything other than the fact that they MUST simply be inferior as evolved humans. Natural selection is obsolete in this day and age where help and compassion can be provided to anybody, and the only thing in the way of that is systematic oppression and misinformation.

You should try empathy.

58 More Replies...

@kristenblount8422

3y↑2K

Makes me think of the time someone stole my one of a kind, custom made bicycle. The police wouldn't get it back for me because I didn't have a serial #. I didn't even know bikes had those but I'm pretty sure you use a serial # to differentiate between mass produced bikes that look pretty much identical. Mine was one of a kind & the designer gave the police more than enough evidence that it was my bike. They knew it was mine but they just didn't care. Eventually the thief left it outside and one of my friends just stole it back. Maybe one day the other countries will just steal their shit back.

@JoseFerreira-ms9xi

3y↑31

Or maybe just maybe it gets stolen by aliens

@shairafaiza7261

3y↑17

i hope so :) one day

@odomobo

3y↑102

I hope now that you got it back, you've etched "1" on it somewhere

@JPG126

3y↑34

Just a friendly heads up that the majority of the things in the British museum were bought and paid for.

So your analogy of "countries just stealing their shit back" would be like if my Grandad sold his war medal to a foreign museum and I decide I'm going to steal it because it has meaning to me. Not "stealing back", just plain old stealing.

@kristenblount8422

3y↑148

@@JPG126 I am not saying the museum is full of stolen artifacts but they definitely have things that were legitimately stolen. There are multiple countries asking for the British Museum to return their artifacts. Those items were not sold to the museum even if the majority of the museum's items were bought & paid for.

38 More Replies...

@moeezS

3y↑220

"We're still looking at it!" had me cackling.

@him050

4y↑865

This is why it’s easier with military museums. “Umm, can we have that tank back please?” “Sorry chap, you lost the battle and your men a abandoned it. Rules is rules.”

@evansageser6943

4y↑59

@@enei7045 Okay but nowhere in the rules of war is there anything about how the winner of a war gets dibs on the losers' stuff. Indeed, the modern rules of war clearly state that objects of great historical, religious and/or cultural value aren't considered valid military targets, so it's essentially the exact opposite situation to take someone's artifacts in this manner.

A tank is a military tool, if another force seizes it, they're just ensuring that they won't have to fight against it later. When they take people's cultural artifacts, all they're doing is behaving like pillagers and vandals.

@evansageser6943

4y↑24

@@enei7045 Okay but we're following the rules of war now like a civil society. Agreeing to those rules is a clear affirmation that we realize that people pillaging in that manner was wrong to do, acknowledging that if we had been following those rules back then, we would be committing a war crime.

With all that in mind, how is it not fair that the nations that those items were looted from get them back?

Like when slavery was ended we didn't just say "okay everyone we realize the institution of slavery is wrong now, however we didn't realize it back when all of our current slaves were first enslaved. So obviously we should be allowed to keep them enslaved because we can't be held accountable for our own actions back then."

And this isn't just a matter of ancient kingdoms looting from one another, the British empire that stole everything is the same political entity that exists today. How are they somehow no longer liable for the artifacts they still that are flagrantly stolen from people that really want them back now?

@oswaldrabbit1409

4y↑11

@@evansageser6943 because that's not even the same scenario. One is an object, the other a person.

I actually agree with you but I think your example is shaky at best.

@evansageser6943

4y↑15

@@oswaldrabbit1409 In both cases however it is something that is treated like property that later laws decide is not acceptable to take as property however. Yes, I think pillaging objects is less extreme than abject slavery, but it still gets to the heart of the problem, that being that you can't just grandfather in past misdeeds. If the law suddenly decides it is wrong to own something, you don't get to justify that you retain ownership of those illegal things just because you acquired them prior to the law's passage, particularly given how clear-cut the case for prior ownership is.

@stevevee8831

4y↑5

I got a tour round Chelsea Pensioners, old lad who was giving us the tour was showing all of these standards, flags etc. Taken in battle from other countries, there was French, Spanish, Dutch, couple of others and Americans... Americans are still asking for their standard back, have been rebutted several times 'I don't think you get it... You lost it....'

20 More Replies...

@sinceslicedbread7422

1y↑148

This now is one of my favourite skits. Well observed. Well done.

@xythrial

1y↑1

I basically have it memorized I rewatch it so often

@robot_spider

32w↑1

I hope you've seen the whole performance. The bit about British Museum erasers (rubbers) almost broke my brain. I didn't know whether to laugh at the joke, or cry at how beautifully the joke was constructed.

@venlasalo4767

4y↑6.8K

Britain: So you want to take from me what I have rightfully stolen?

@MrConstantine02

4y↑23

@Anglus Patria well to be fair you could have NOT invaded other places in the first place.

@adriebaby4137

3y↑70

Inconceivable!

@finlaymackenzie6678

3y↑42

***ENGLAND!!!!! NOT Britain. The Scottish and Welsh are nothing like the English. We hate them as much as everybody else does!!!

@donkmeister

3y↑64

@@finlaymackenzie6678 Dude, stop the hate. You only speak for yourself. I'm Welsh, I don't hate the English. Why would I hate an entire nation of people? I've only met some of them. If you must hate, hate specific people based on their own deeds and actions. For what it's worth I know Scots who are married to English people, so not all Scots hate the English either.

@SleepySir

3y↑8

@@donkmeister I mean most Irish like me hate the english with every fibre of our being, we have the right to though lol

47 More Replies...

@Sarah.Riedel

4y↑711

This is the single most thoroughly British individual on the planet

@chrismiller1261

4y↑141

except for the self-awareness about the empire

@Sarah.Riedel

4y↑11

@@chrismiller1261 good point

@bmg2507

4y↑5

Hmm I doubt he'd be triggered by facts he doesn't like though a modern Brit trait (Brexit era) Therefore I dissagree.

@ghostpants4920

3y↑3

@@bmg2507 Mate just cuz your salty about history, doesn't mean you can project your weakness on us.

@ghostpants4920

3y↑3

@Robert Apostu lot's of a-hole football fans do that, it's not exactly exlusive to England

4 More Replies...

@bruceevans3476

44w↑48

Hardcore comedy fan for 50+ years, and this is truly gold.
Thanx James.

@robot_spider

32w↑1

Same here... well, almost 50 years. You see a lot of talented comedians, and a lot of talented story tellers. Making this a 4-part series on Netflix allowed James to show he is both a great story-teller and a great comedian. Makes callbacks and interweaves common threads throughout.

@brianfoley4328

3y↑26

"We're still looking at it"...brilliant.

@masterxyr

2y↑264

I'd love to see presidents from all over the world just walk in with a bag and take it back.
"Oh you're going to call the police? good, I'd like to report a theft"

@martinnijs8317

2y↑21

And they have immunity , so they really could do it.....

@masterxyr

2y↑14

@@martinnijs8317 pitty some of the stuff doesn't reaaaaally fit in a bag...

@Mackak_

1y↑9

@@masterxyr nah you’ve just got small bags

@annabellesoe7623

3y↑129

Boy one of ours isn't even at the museum, it's on the Queen's crown 😂 yep we r on a whole another level, if u don't get it, I mean the Ruby on the Queen's crown is from Myanmar (Burma)

@shairafaiza7261

3y↑17

the kohinoor diamond for me though

@Fidgottio

3y↑12

@@shairafaiza7261 Ownership of the Koh-i-Noor was signed over to the East India Company by Tej Singh, as part of the Last Treaty of Lahore, then gifted to Queen Victoria. Prior to that it had changed hands many times through war and as a gift. Until someone takes it or it's given as a gift by the British government, it's with its rightful owners

@ishitasharma4530

3y↑41

@@Fidgottio yeah it was singned over to the east India Company because they wanted it. Because the kings had no power and the British had hegemony over all the actions of the king. King tej singh was made to sign it by the empire. They robbed people taking lagaan from them each year even if there were no crops. The kings if they wanted to remain in power had to do what they were ordered to. If the east India Company didn't take over our entire nation and made us our slaves and stayed the hell away from us we wouldn't have to give them anything. Nothing they took from us during colonial times belongs to them. Something that is given under force is not given "rightfully" It is called snatching. If I came in your home, said you were my slave from today, stole everything you have and asked you to work for me and to get me off your back you gave me your family heirloom... I wouldn't by any means consider it rightfully given.

@ishitasharma4530

3y↑27

@@Fidgottio And in 1849, after imprisoning Jindan, the British forced Duleep to sign a legal document amending the Treaty of Lahore, that required Duleep to give away the Koh-i-Noor and all claim to sovereignty. The boy was only 10 years old. Still think it was rightfully taken?

@shrishtisinha6692

3y↑9

Lol, forced or coerced 'gifts' to the Queen, are just signed for stolen packages.

17 More Replies...

@fistfullofsharpenings5611

4y↑14.1K

"I don't fink so; We're still looking at it." Britain

@wisconsinfarmer4742

4y↑77

That one got my heartiest guffaw.

@gold_leaf0702

4y↑175

You made a typo
"Oi daw't fink sow, weh stiw lookin' a' i'."

@carterishere3851

4y↑66

Kristoff Cain I guess your American

@UnYin99

4y↑55

@@carterishere3851 I believe that you're right. You're a good guesser and you're a keen observer of your environment. You're nobody's fool, and you're sure getting your licks in as well. That's why it's too bad that your grammar isn't your strong suit, but maybe English isn't your first language.

@carterishere3851

4y↑11

UnYin99 Is there a point? , communication is about making a point and making someone understand what i or a individual is saying also I’m not going to write a deep inspirational paragraph about my thoughts of a person ethnicity when I could just say a sentence.

When a comment section is full of these typos or grammar mistakes but they just want to state there point and a reason, not everyone is going to be better or on the same level of you.

12 More Replies...

@forzaazzurri06

4y↑83

He is beyond genius, every line he says in this sketch is comedy. A master craftsmen

@LGF79

1y↑2

He reminds me of Monty Python with his delivery and gesticulations.

@nikparv7

2y↑265

As an Indian, I literally just read the title and before it even started playing I'd already liked it and after watching the whole thing I gotta say, it wasn't a wrong move on my part.

@fortuitousthings8606

2y↑10

Are you a descendent of a Mughal war lord or the people they subjugated?

@connordrew2634

2y↑23

@@fortuitousthings8606 no, you see. The Indians were a benign, peaceful people, their wealth being obtained not through any morally objectionable means.

Then, the white man came to the subcontinent and introduced warfare to a race who before this would not hurt a fly. Indians never conquered anyone - they dealt with each other as civilized beings, the artifacts and wealth they possessed having sprouted from the ground some generations before.

@samratsm5660

@@fortuitousthings8606 Proud Hindus (the original community of India) unlike the other invaders!

@zyzzsdisciples6707

If it wasn’t for Britain your nation wouldn’t even exist, and now you’re upset about them taking some trinkets, at a time where empire building was accepted? Before Britain came you used to burn widows alive. Even your own intelligentsia would call Britain’s civilising rule the “knife of sugar”

@katharineeavan9705

@@connordrew2634 Because if a family is a right chavvy asbo sort, that means it's perfectly acceptable to steal their possessions, starve half of them to death on purpose, kill a couple for kicking off about it, and then use their prized possessions as ornamental headgear to remember the good old times when you could get away with that sort of thing a bit easier.

Most of those artefacts we stole which they so dearly want back were created hundreds if not thousands of years before we got there. If anyone was mistreated in the gaining of the vast majority of them, it was Indian workers throughout history, historical Indian nations who other historical Indian nations took them from. They aren't some mysterious relics that appeared in the middle of unknown territory only for India to unfairly claim them as its own through pillaging some innocent, nameless but definitely-not-Indian strawmen. This isn't a "we don't know who owned them originally, India stole them and then we stole them off India". We know they originated in India, and even if we didn't, it's not like we're nobly repatriating them to their original owners elsewhere. We know we fucking knicked them, we don't even deny it. We know we don't have any real justification for keeping them other than "we like that we get tourism money off them and it makes us feel like an Empire all over again to flaunt them and know you can't make us give them back". Closest to a valid excuse we have is "if we give YOU your stuff back then we have to give EVERYONE their stuff back, and we really don't want to"

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@victoriach.6054

3y↑35

As a Greek person, thank you

@404Dannyboy

2y↑2

@Soulja Ian They pike to pretend Britain stole their artifacts when Britain actually bought them off the Ottomans because the Ottomans had planned to destroy them.

@EvaPanag100

2y↑1

@@404Dannyboy Why hadn't Elgin (the "defender" of art and Marbles of Parthenon) bought all the Parthenon Marbles from the Ottomans while they planned to destroy them? Did also the Greeks pay the Ottomans not to destroy the rest Marbles of the Parthenon and for this reason they left to Greece what Elgin left then after he cut those artifacts in parts and transported to England?

@EvaPanag100

@Dan Seddon Please, it is a pity, for a country like the United Kingdom, to allow this injustice to exist with the Parthenon Marbles that Lord Elgin forcibly removed from the whole building because he was given the opportunity due to the Ottoman occupation then, only to earn yesterday / today money from their exploitation. It would be good to realize that for the Greeks it is their breath, their roots, their history and every concept related to democracy, philosophy and the contribution of the Greeks to the creation of western civilization. It would be very kind of the United Kingdom to return the marbles of the Parthenon, to reunite the expatriate Caryatids with the sisters, a beautiful image for the whole universe to see the Parthenon in its entirety.

@TheTailors1

15w↑1

I love at :17 when he bends over the stool then looks behind him to make sure the coast is clear before saying "and we got all the swank didn't we?"

@nickevers9263

3y↑24

The “understanding words” to “laughing” ratio in this clip is superb

@capedcrusader7812

4y↑16.4K

"The sun doesn't set in the British empire because even god doesn't trust the British in the dark" -

@snowtfl5617

4y↑189

😭😭😂 that was a good one

@zenjeongrebelle1808

4y↑75

Snow TFL it’s not a joke😔

@bosgaurus1

4y↑390

Quoting Dr. Shashi Tharoor from his debate speech at Oxford Union, eh?

@bosgaurus1

4y↑165

@@jamesdashper1316, imagine someone who is a Brit and has made an entire comedy routine on the subject of worldwide economy changing theft, murder, and rapine by his own people, and someone of potentially any culture, including Brit, injects a comment about the same subject and immediately discovers butthurt.

Also, funny how the word Brit, as used by some, totally ignores the fact that the label Brit also includes all of the minorities living in Britain.

Naturally, those who live outside of Britain are able to discern a bit more quickly than many living inside, that the population called "Brit" is actually itself a small minority in the population of the world.

@johnpears9558

4y↑95

@James Dashper being British isn’t a race it’s a nationality millions of different ethic groups live in the UK assuming they’re all white is kinda idiotic.

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@Jmvars

2y↑50

Interesting that this should pop up in my recommended since we (Sámi peoples) are currently trying to get a drum that is currently in a Danish museum. It was "confiscated" from a shaman in 1692 that they conveniently also murdered with an axe.

@sarsok659

2y↑2

Is there anything we can do to help? a petition or a way to get more awareness?

@Jmvars

2y↑3

@@sarsok659 Not that I'm aware of. Supposedly the museum has already agreed, but it's up to the ministry of culture to decide on whether we get it or not.

@Kalani_Saiko

2y↑1

Reminds me of the aboriginal man they decapitated and stole his head.

@LordUnas

Did he use the drum to place magic spells on the Danish gentlemen? Because I could see them getting rather pissy about that sort of thing. Maybe they murdered him for some other reason, like he was talking shit about Denmark or something, and afterwards they noticed the drum lying next to the dude’s tent and one of them thought ”that’d make a good souvenir for my kid, who collects stuff that his daddy robbed from ancient cultures during his travels.” Then the kid died of some curse that had been placed on the drum just in case the wrong person got their hands on it, and they put the drum in a museum so that nobody else would pick up the ancient Sami curse. And Denmark are still angry about the curse, so they are keeping the drum just to spite the Sami people, who they blame for turning the Danish language into drunk-sounding gibberish and stealing the top piece of bread from all their sandwiches. It’s probably a logical explanation like that.

@fortuitousthings8606

Where did he get the drum from?

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@robowealthy820

3y↑80

Even his mic is the right colour.

@lucy3653

2y↑11

"We're still looking at it!" funniest part of this whole joke

@The88Cheat

3y↑24

"It's worked out well for us so far."
Can't argue with results.

@camcloutier2738

True but the key phrase with bad behavior is always "so far".

@Sickofdrawingcowboys717

3y↑40

This is possibly his best bit he'll come up with. Absolutely fantastic.

@gachaelephant6841

4y↑5.2K

We didn’t steal it, we borrowed it...
Without asking...
Or the intent to give it back...

@sallylee4924

4y↑20

Also, British law prevents museums from returning artifacts.

@patthonsirilim5739

4y↑38

@Unkwon Malaysian Guy yep nothing like gunboat diplomacy

@Bladerxdxi

4y↑20

Burrowed Sounds too much Like consent. Thats Not british

@Tresorthas

4y↑7

*borrowed, "burrowed" is to put it in a hole in the ground

@gachaelephant6841

4y↑11

@Tresorthas The irony is that I actually spelt it as borrowed first then thought “Nah that looks wrong it’s probably burrowed”

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@SpinDash

3y↑28

How have I never seen this guy before? He’s great

@cherrysherry44

4y↑583

I'm Chinese and when my parents took us to see the British museum, they just call it the "Great Thief Museum (大盗博物馆)". Had a great time there, sketched the venus de milo and saw the fountain heads robbed from us during the 8 nations war where they burned down a palace close to Beijing (圆明园). Anyone else here from a country that calls the museum something similar? I don't think that nickname is something my parents made up.

@Kyle_Hubbard

4y↑7

@@insulam821 Beta.

@Kyle_Hubbard

4y↑142

How about you give the tibetans back their land?

@confnin1863

4y↑227

@@Kyle_Hubbard Bro they're just a racially Chinese person. They're not the government or anything, and they were simply trying to tell an amusing anecdote. What are you even trying to accomplish here?

@Kyle_Hubbard

4y↑63

@@confnin1863 Pointing out the hypocrisy.

@confnin1863

4y↑137

@@Kyle_Hubbard The commenter was talking about how their parents were the ones to call it that, not themself. And even then, it's not like they're blaming all English people for stealing their stuff and refusing to return it. If they had actually outright blamed anyone in the comment, there may have been hypocrisy, but as it stands, your comment was uncalled for and just pointless overall.

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@myloabraham-rt5bw

24w↑2

“Not right now selfish” gets me every time

@claraconlan6557

4y↑8

I love James and this bit is my favorite. I can’t watch it enough.

@richarddr7690

3y↑5

3 min, 30 seconds pure genius - what a legend

@Bhatakti_Hawas

4y↑18K

British Museum is the world's biggest crime scene
- John Oliver

@DamnedDave

4y↑441

John Oliver is one of the biggest crimes to comedy

@JohnSmith-ki3li

4y↑74

@@DamnedDave agreed.

@antislutful

4y↑88

@@DamnedDave really? I know he's not that good, but there are more famous but much less funnier than him.

@joshuagraham967

4y↑200

@@spartand001 Fuck off, it's all true about the museum

@joshuagraham967

4y↑63

@Jack Smith What part is inaccurate?

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@tanleelee268

4y↑12

He is the most british person I've seen, but weirdly also he is the most relatable one yet!

@robowealthy820

3y↑18

"We're still looking at it!" So true...

@MrMeoow91

3y↑4

“We are still looking at it” is the best line. 😂

@poisenbery

4y↑16

I try not to laugh during these because it's satisfying to have laughter forced out of you.
This had me feeling good. Funny stuff!

@lydiahill9850

23w↑3

Wish I could got back in time to watch this special all over again the first time

@L0stInNeverland

4y↑15.6K

why am i so attracted to this tired mustard alien man

@JaneDoe-ci3gj

4y↑61

Me too😂💞👍

@sweetlysuccinct

4y↑50

100% same

@ShiggledeeGuy

4y↑70

Humor

@H0n3yMonstah

4y↑17

😂

@oline5305

4y↑155

Caragh Pollard wut? the man could lowkey be a runway model

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@navyagupta6814

3y↑38

People: The Queen sure does love colour schemes
James Acaster: hold my tea

@olgavladi8239

4y↑14

Such a great artistic talent! Talking about actual complexe problem with wonderful sense of humour:) many greetings from Vladivostok, Russia

@aerobyrdable

3y↑8

I literally got here by remembering one thing from this clip months later and just searched "James Acaster Cackle"... Took me right here.

@ARI-kn3wz

4y↑13

Find out about him exactly 3 min ago.......I think I’ve fallen in love help 😂😂❤️😭

@lyannawinter405

49w

1:45 "how important it is to you and your culture", it's such a good point.

@tylerdurden2424

4y↑6.6K

Is no one addressing the fact that his hair matches his shirt that matches his trousers that match the curtains in the back that all compliment his microphone!!

@jakemorrison8507

4y↑30

Yeah about 3 other people

@francesvonstackelberg4070

4y↑78

it's a nightmare in mustard and I love it.

@lunax5098

4y↑16

Tyler Durden I reckon that was his intention

@jsegnde4302

4y↑3

Yeah no shit

@Shabztubeyou

4y↑8

this looks like a thousand shades of shit

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@crazypiratesquirrel3038

4y↑177

My favorite excuse I've ever heard for not giving antiquities back was basically "we'd love give them back but we don't think you have the facilities to care for something this old properly. As soon as you build a place we think is up to snuff then you can have it back.".

@ngaire1004

4y↑89

Reminds me of a joke I think it was Trevor Noah, said. "We're not giving your stuff back because you can't take care of it properly. We know you can't because if you could we wouldn't have been able to steal it."

@ngaire1004

3y↑27

@Chardonnay Smith That's just not true. The British museum values then in a very European way, which is to place it on a pedestal and try and make it last forever. I guarantee you The cultures that created these artefacts would have valued them just as much if not more, by using them for their intended purpose. Other cultures are perfectly capable of valuing their own art.

@CollinMcLean

2y↑2

@@ngaire1004 I believe a similar case is currently occurring in Denmark with a drum that belonged to a Samii shaman.

@404Dannyboy

2y↑6

@@ngaire1004 They didn't and haven't valued them historically. Hell, Europe only started valuing them recently.

@CollinMcLean

2y↑16

@Wilhelm Eley Ah yes I believe that it is listed in British Constitutional Law under the "Finders keepers no take backs!" clause...

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@pizzaente

4y↑7

the whole series is just so good. love this guy

@notoriouslybratty

43w↑9

One of his best bits - every so often I have to click on this video and rewatch it.

@JakHensha_0

27w↑1

"The last place anyone looks", was underrated

@x4ms

3y↑3

This is really great stuff. Well done. Funny in the most divine sence.

@shrekdevito1843

4y↑8.9K

Only James can make it look cool to blend into the background

@sunxel3264

4y↑42

S Wright he/she doesn't seem triggered to me, just not very fond of the military

@flops_01

4y↑92

Everyone's here talking about camouflage and I'm here like "Omg is that James Marriott?"

@raining214

4y↑23

@@flops_01 James is the superior name clearly.

@flops_01

4y↑1

Brooklynae yep

@MrJackandEmily

4y↑1

@paula cool as fuck 😎

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@Lewis-wr8ec

1y↑3

Finally comedy which reflects my sensibilities and taste for mustard yellow backdrops

@Katiedid93

4y↑5

Give me more of this British sarcasm. I’m obsessed.

@leonbrown7911

2y↑2

"not right now selfish" - floored xD

@soccerathletejeff7332

4y↑1

Such simple yet brilliant material

@yilinwang467

3y↑25

Spanish: Laughs in Gold and Silver Bullion

@ghostpants4920

British empire had a piece of that action, too, don't forget

@justmedic9689

4y↑1.9K

Land: exists
Britain: it's free real estate

@GreenCocanix

3y↑7

It is

@SleepySir

3y↑2

Ireland: ------

@cromk_514

3y↑23

Turtle Island: *having civilizations of people and sacred culture* colonizers: "well if no one else is gonna have this-"

@scintillamdei5649

Britain exists:
Hitler: 'Cause I saved the British lads at Dunkirk.

@lizastarpeter4295

3y↑3

A wise Englishwoman once said “I have this flag, see...”

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@nncdrmr

3y↑4

I have never heard of James. He is hilarious!! More more!!!

@umbrellaotter7232

He has multiple books and they are great! Classic Scrapes is really good

@tommyfinlay9780

4y↑1

Your a legend bruva, also the (off menu ) love it. God bless and good luck

@through.a.barrel.she.breathes

1y↑1

We are still looking at it is the best thing ever.

@xvariabledesign

3y↑23

Classic. People can point fingers at guilt easily, but when it comes to taking responsibility for guilt...then they find others to blame. Great vid!

@stevesmith7843

2y↑1

why would someone in ANY country, take RESPONSIBILITY for things THEY didn't do? seems illogical.

@kajamatousek247

1y↑1

Oh yeah because James was personally responsible for stealing those things. Take your meds

@danitho

33w↑1

I feel like OP was referring to those with the "finders keepers" mentality. Not James...

@odoylerules360

18w↑1

Turning up the accent on that "I don't fink so!" is hilarious.

@bossfan49

18w

That line... "I don't think so. We're still lookin' at it!" felt very Pythonesque to me. I could hear Idle or Palin saying that one.

@theohio3460

4y↑6.6K

“Never before I’ve been so offended by something I 100% agree with”

@zimwityaki5021

4y↑190

I think it's completely tenable to be critical of colonialism while tolerating what's happening these days. The former was coercive and ethically/economically disastrous, while the latter is the opposite for the most part...

@LambentIchor

4y↑228

@simplekaty

4y↑186

@Jack Tyrrell Jack, moving somewhere new and working there is hardly the same thing as invading with an army and pillaging, is it now?

@mattygee37

UNATCO recruitment ain't what it once was..... snowflake now.

@kingofools

4y↑71

@Jack Tyrrell Well, look at that. In a single post you showed absolute ignorance of two topics!

Right-wing idiocy at its finest.

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@conforzo

4y↑24

I can only imagine what comedy bits will be done in 100 years about things we find perfectly acceptable or even as justice today.

@kylezo

2y↑5

Bold of you to assume society will continue to mature. Here in America we're allowing Christo-fascists to furiously turn the clock back to 1950 and it's looking like they'll keep going back to the 1800's at this rate.

@stevesmith7843

i imagine there's going to be some things to say about encouraging and funding young people, and mentally ill people to mutilate themselves, and making it illegal in some places to tell the truth..... not much different from how curing mental illness with lobotomies is viewed in retrospect today.

@stevesmith7843

@@kylezo the irony is that your country WAS more mature in the past, now it's turned into a screaming child having a temper tantrum, about something it's too stupid and ignorant to even understand on a base level. it's degenerated into such a disgusting vacuous cesspit that it's exhibiting all the historical telltale signs of a nation about to collapse in on itself, you guys can't even agree on something as simple as what a man is and a woman is anymore..... what makes it worse is that the same ignorance is being exported to other western countries, since they tend to copy american culture..... the rest of us wish you'd of kept that sort of low iq nonsense to yourselves, but alas, here we are.

@StickTheGlue

I think towards the top of the list will be arresting a male rapist, putting him in a woman's prison because 'he told us he was actually a she', then he goes round raping more women in the prison and if the other women accidentally call him a he then they get extra time on their sentences

@allylilith5605

@@kylezoback to. 1950 where the concept of male and female existed. scary scary times. lets pretend that what you would presumably call progress isn't exactly what people in 100years will find mindblowingly irrational or disturbing as every other human who didnt specifically live between 2010 and 2023 in the west

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@hannahj6398

3y↑4

Gotta love his massive pocket and his "Started making it, had a breakdown... Bon appetit!"

@JD-it9rc

2y↑5

Interesting this being recommended...

@geribaldi2

2y↑1

OMG. That was good. Great vid to watch first thing in the morning 🤣🤣

@jeremiedayglider1690

"We're still looking at it!." Brilliant!!!

@konomexplays

4y↑11.3K

The British took an Indigenous man's head (they killed him) in 1833 and wouldn't give it back to his family until about 2010.

Not even a cool heirloom. A literal part of a corpse. Finders keepers, you can't have your granddads head back.

@86upsmaya

4y↑858

Yep, just last month they returned some remains of Sri Lankan vedda people, our indigenous people. Was grossed out to learn that they had them at a museum

@bobjonn9182

4y↑28

KonomexPlays. Where is that? What indigenous?

@konomexplays

4y↑375

@@bobjonn9182 Australian. His name was Yagan. I met his great grandchild.

@bobjonn9182

4y↑202

@@konomexplays oh interesting story 'Yagan' was a warrior and part of the resistance against the British.
Also was wanted for murder & theft. Escaped capture.
Was classed as a man of high degree under tribal law.

@TheDaverobinson

4y↑11

Ha! Yeah - that was a good one!

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@claraconlan6557

My absolute favorite James Acaster bit.

@Akumasama

1y↑2

@nathanielhellerstein5871

3y↑48

I have a better idea. Make exact measurements of everything they stole, and exact copies from those measurements; then give the originals back to their rightful owners, but keep displaying the exact copies, and sell other exact copies. If the British Museum is going to be a crime scene, then it might as well be a fence.

@stevesmith7843

to be fair, they're already in the hands of the "rightful" owners.... since THEY are the owners lol.... they should be grateful the british empire GAVE them their countries back.....

@MrLarynxPharynx

4y↑1

Masterpiece, pure masterpiece...

@jeromelbbs9592

Happy this ended up on FB. I discovered this funny comedian.

@ReegusReever

4y↑4.3K

Glasgow Celtic Champions

@borismuller86

4y↑14

Ryan house colours.

@sammmm87

4y↑13

Incredibly impressed by how well his shirt matches the backdrop!

@JasonZakrajsek

4y↑6

I like how the background and his shirt change for each part of this special.

@how2pick4name

4y↑1

It's called "a stylist"

@BYERE

4y↑3

The fact that the background matches his hair AND shirt just makes it better

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@elektriksheep

10w

You missed off the end of the bit about gift shop rubbers. It's an integral part of the bit and hilarious.

@semiveriland

4y↑3

25 years ago I was in a car in London with Mike Costello driving past the the British museum, he pointed at it and said " Seee than Jim, one of the finest monuments to pillage and plunder ever erected".

@Sickofdrawingcowboys717

3y↑5

If they were ever gonna do a new Black Adder this guy is perfect for it.

@superviro

Out of all the comedians to appear on Taskmaster, this guy is the funniest.

I still need to watch the rest of them.

'Merica!

@1292liam

18w

"We're still looking at it" LOL

@stayjit1

4y↑2.8K

The brilliant part was putting it in a museum. Everybody knows, no matter how it got there, once it's in a genuine Museum, that's where it stays.

@exsilencio

4y↑51

Third worldism intensifies

@smiller2044

4y↑11

Not always once in a museum always in a museum 🖼️

@beemel5734

4y↑13

@Star Constellation Much to the chagrin of Indiana Jones, I imagine.

@parikshit2178

4y↑53

@@smiller2044 I mean yeah... Only if Brits had their own stuff to show.... The items would have long been returned.

@parikshit2178

4y↑47

@AzerGhost16 😂 Exactly "half". You go to any colonized country's museum. 100% of the stuff is their own.

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@WandaKiwi

A great movie to watch with this theme is The Man Who Lost His Head starring Martin Clunes. It's a NZ production based in NZ. Loved it. Martin is awesome. ❤

@leftfootfirstpolitics

2y↑3

"Finders keepers!"
"But I made it..."
"Yeah, but I FOUND it!"

@WhiteTiger333

Robbing the gift shop at the end....LOL! Fair play.

@MissS1989

2y↑2

OMG I never knew that Pinky from Pinky & The Brain from Animaniacs was a real accent - iconic AF!!!

@pulluponyouwackswithamacfu8112

3y↑6

he just explained the relationship between Italy and France and the Monalisa

@DUbZXtreme

4y↑3.5K

See where other countries are getting it wrong is that they didn't bring a flag.

@chrisnaaden3496

4y↑75

My man Eddie nice

@DamnedDave

4y↑19

we took freedom around the world

@Daz555Daz

4y↑82

@@DamnedDave That's not really how Empires work.

@DamnedDave

4y↑43

It is we brought freedom by force like all good Empires
I was only playing btw

@Daz555Daz

4y↑69

@The Coward Liberius and in payment they raped the land and slaughtered the people.

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@thelorewriter9460

1y↑20

James has the delivery of a Monty Python skit and I love it

@void3793

4y↑7

Its kinda funny how the world is connected in so abstract and funny ways. People have interacted throughout history and some bits are left here and there.