4:44
Jay-Z Lyrics

Do I find it so hard
Am I struggling so much

When I know in my heart
Even though I know deep down

I'm letting you down everyday
I'm disappointing you constantly

Letting you down everyday
Failing you repeatedly

Why do I keep on running away?
Why do I avoid confronting my problems?

Look, I apologize, often womanize
I'm sorry, I've cheated on you multiple times

Took for my child to be born
It took the birth of our child

See through a woman's eyes
To understand things from your perspective

Took for these natural twins to believe in miracles
It took the birth of our twins to realize the beauty in life

Took me too long for this song
It's taken me too long to express my remorse

I don't deserve you, I harass you out in Paris
I don't deserve you, I mistreated you in Paris

Please come back to Rome, you make it home
Please return, you bring warmth and love to our home in Rome

We talked for hours when you were on tour
We had meaningful conversations during your tour

Please pick up the phone, pick up the phone
Please answer my calls

Said: "Don't embarrass me," instead of "Be mine"
I was more concerned with my image than our relationship

That was my proposal for us to go steady
That was my idea for us to be in a committed relationship

That was your 21st birthday, you mature faster than me
You were more mature than me at 21

I wasn't ready, so I apologize
I wasn't emotionally prepared

I've seen the innocence leave your eyes
I watched you lose your innocence

I still mourn this death, I apologize for all the stillborns
I still grieve for our lost children, and apologize for not being there

'Cause I wasn't present, your body wouldn't accept it
Because I wasn't there, your body couldn't carry the child

I apologize to all the woman whom I
I'm sorry to all the women I've hurt

Toyed with you emotions because I was emotionless
I played with your emotions because I was cold and detached

I apologize 'cause at your best you are love
I apologize because you embody pure love

And because I fall short of what I say I'm all about
I'm sorry for not living up to my own values

Your eyes leave with the soul that your body once housed
Your spirit leaves with your body when you die

And you stare blankly into space
Your mind is empty and numb

Thinkin' of all the time you wasted it, on all this basic shit
Regretting all the time spent on trivial things

So I apologize
So I'm sorry

I'm never gonna treat you
I won't mistreat you

Like I should
The way you deserve

Our love was one for the ages and I contained us
Our love was special and I limited its potential

And all this ratchet shit and we more expansive now
We've moved past immature behavior and grown together

Meant to cry and die alone in these mansions
Expected to be lonely and unhappy in our luxurious homes

Or sleep with our back turned
Sleeping with our backs to one another

We're supposed to vacay 'til our backs burn
We're meant to go on vacation until we're tired

We're supposed to laugh 'til our hearts stop
We should laugh until it hurts

And then we end a space with a dark stop
And then we reach the end of our lives

And let love light the way
And let love guide us

Like the men before me, I cut off my nose to spite my face
Like other men, I made foolish choices that hurt myself

I never wanted another woman to know
I never wanted to share my secrets with another woman

Something about me that you didn't know
Information about me that you weren't aware of

I promised, I cried, I couldn't hold
I made a promise, cried, but couldn't keep it

I suck at love, I think I need a do-over
I'm bad at love and wish I could start over

I will be emotionally available if I invited you over
I'll be open and present if you visit me

I stew over what if you over my shit?
I worry about how you'll react to my mistakes

And if my children knew, I don't even know what I would do
If my children found out, I don't know how I'd handle it

If they ain't look at me the same
If they didn't see me in the same way

I would prob'ly die with all the shame
I would feel so embarrassed and guilty that it could kill me

"You did what with who?"
"You did what with who?"

What good is a ménage à trois when you have a soulmate?
What's the point of having multiple partners when you have a special one?

"You risked that for Blue?"
"You put all that at risk for Blue?"

If I wasn't a superhero in your face
If I wasn't such a public figure

My heart breaks for the day I had to explain my mistakes
I dread the day I have to confess my mistakes

And the mask goes away and Santa Claus is fake
The mask of perfection falls, revealing the truth

And you go online and see
And you find out online

For Blue's tooth, the tooth fairy didn't pay
The tooth fairy didn't leave money for Blue's tooth

I'm never gonna treat you like I should
I'm never going to treat you as well as you deserve