99 Problems
Jay-Z Lyrics


If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that want to make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say he's "Money, cash, hoes"
I'm from the hood, stupid, what type of facts are those?
If you grew up with holes in your Zapatos
You'd celebrate the minute you was having dough
I'm like, "Fuck critics" you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
They don't play my hits, well, I don't give a shit, so
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers
I don't know what you take me as
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches, niggas I ain't dumb
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

The year's '94 and my trunk is raw
In my rearview mirror is the motherfucking law
I got two choices y'all, pull over the car or
Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor
Now I ain't trying to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars I can fight the case
So I, pull over to the side of the road
I heard, "Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
"'Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?"
"Well you was doing fifty-five in a fifty-four" (uh huh)
"License and registration and step out of the car"
"Are you carrying a weapon on you, I know a lot of you are"
I ain't stepping out of shit, all my papers legit
"Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights so you goin' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack? You some type of lawyer or something?"
"Somebody important or something?"
Well, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
"Well we'll see how smart you are when the K-9 come"
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong-arm a ho
This is not a ho in the sense of having a pussy
But a pussy having no goddamn sense try and push me
I tried to ignore 'em, talk to the Lord
Pray for 'em, 'cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's goin' happen is I'ma get to clapping and
He and his boys goin' be yapping to the Captain
And there I go trapped in the Kit-Kat again
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
Fiends on the floor scratching again
Paparazzi's with they cameras, snapping 'em
D.A. tried to give a nigga shaft again
Half a mil' for bail 'cause I'm African
All because this fool was harassing them
Trying to play the boy like he's saccharine
But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
I got ninety-nine problems being a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine problems and a bitch ain't one

You're crazy for this one, Rick, it's your boy

Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Tracy Lauren Marrow, Norman Landsberg, Felix Pappalardi, Rick Rubin, Leslie Weinstein, John Ventura, Shawn Carter, Alphonso Henderson, Felix A. Pappalardi, George Jr. Clinton, John Elis Ventura, Shawn Corey Carter, Tracey Lauren Marrow, Weinstein A. Lesli

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Ism Johnson

Teacher:"Jamal, do you know what I came up to you for?"

Jamal:"Because you expected me to be dumb and have my test scores low? But instead I passed the test, how? You'll never know!

Teacher:" Well you got 53 answers right out of 54. Raise up out of your desk, let's not Make this hard. Are you carrying cheat sheet, I know alot of you are"

Jamal:"I aint standing up for shit, until the class is dismissed"

Teacher:" Well do you mind if u check your book bag real quick?"

Jamal:" My book bag is off limits, you ain't checking crap. If you wanna suspend me, you gotta call the parents for that!"

Teacher:"Aren't you sharp in attack? Youre at the top of the class or somethin? Do student go to you when they need to ask for somethin?"

Jamal:"I failed the 5th grade but I know a lil bit, enough to know that I don't have to let anyone search my shit!"

Teacher:"Well we will see how smart you are when the princable come!"



Edward Garcia

In the Trump administration , the very first day the impeachment process started and the actual signatures needed to start the attempt , just like even this very moment right now .
Someone here in San Antonio Tx. Said , and I quote " Now were just gonna see if uh ? " and just let it happen because of a Simon Ottega and a Bo were somehow given a say in just what is what because of a dude named " Carlos Vella " who was fucking around with my wife " Sandra Ann Garcia " at that time and even had his name on my playlist . He was hacking into my phone and getting all the credit for any and all that I had been doing because of his pretty boy additude and thought he would just look better in DC .
This sounds stupid but it's the she she truth and I don't lie . At the same time another dude who was messing around with a Sarah Roytz my prettail probation officer who I had eyes for was also iether in DC and The UK trying to say they were my family just to get a feel of things and
Someone there said very nice to meet you but where is Mr. Garcia ? We want him Mr. Garcia " me " not ME LAW OFFICES " this is the type of shit I've been putting up with . She Sarah or a Jessica Knoll I'm told had went to DC to turn in and we're interested to turn in my correct name and information and this is where it gets good . Sarah is a sister of my son Edward Garcia's late girlfriend " Merna " and she past away giving birth around the same time my brother " Joe Richard Santos " was murdered the father of " Maline Santos " whom had been missing and still has not been brought back to the family . Mafia de Mexico is said to have her and are not releasing me to my Royalties because of this while ordeal that Carlos Vella has gotten everyone mixed up in .
My son received a 20 year sentence because of this and I've been in and out and the Police and Sheriff's Dept. Is aware of all this and have done nothing but hide me from Government who at the same time has found it covienient to hear nothing because of them not wanting me in any typf ticket for the Presidency .
This is the truth so help me God .
The weekend has away of expressing me in the music , " SADE " has also I'm that son of a gun and son of " Edward Marin Garcia " my name is " Edward Limon Garcia Jr. " For the past seven to eight years I'm the man you've been hearing of " DON VERGA " is one DON OF THE UNIVERSE " I've posted on GOOGLE but LOS ZETAS keep finding a way to hide me hear again they evil and a hacker and a machine truth no lies and the Government gave them that machine to advance somehow and are now scared to do anything about it .
I said this morning and last night that the President Joe Biden should get his head out of his ass and quit pretending not to know anything because the fucking state of Texas is on the verge of being lost and he dose nothing . I can't even get a bowl of cream to smoke and chill out like they asked me to do when Puerto Rico popped of in Riots after I said get me the fuck out of here already years ago and someone says Mr. Garcia nobody even knows who you are , Sarah doesn't know who you are . I said yes she dose , and fuck Sarah blow your horns and let them know ! Puerto Rico pops off in Riots and an attempted Coughed attempt began . Mr. Garcia smoke a bowl , fuck listen to music do any of those things that will calm you down you have to be calm so that this stools !
I smoked but still to this day haven't fucked Marina was the one I thought didn't know I was because of the political side of this sex God like character and title around the world and still have not enjoyed one time because even Government officials are going " ahead " of me and taking advantage of these females and yes even forced themselves on women such as " SADE " and nothinfg was ever done because of a racist cover up in which would bring down the whole God damd thing !
This is not a reason for me to be without and this continue because if someone saying that I'm the most of unqualified of candidates because of my son having a tattoo if the pope on a rope on his arm .!
Since that pope has been pope we've lost the right to pray in our public schools and the pledge of allegiance is no longer able to be pledged in our schools .!
Please I've asked for Asylum out if here and all I hear back is well go do it yourself Mr. Garcia because we're not going to do anything for you .
This as to lable me menaly unstable just as they did when someone wrote a statement and really fucked me up and got my son out if prison and 21 Savage wrote if in " slot " Pakastan had aired a on Facebook once sayingEddie smile slot you come here were happy to have you and slot of live , smile slot EDDIE .
IM AT 2415 CASTROVILLE RD. LOT #8 NOT THE TRAILER WITH AN 8 ON THE TOP . THATS FBI MIST WANTED THERE .
IVE CALLED FBITO REPORT A TERRORIST ATRACK AND THEY ANSEWERED SAYING CALL 211 THEN 911 AFTER ITS DONE .
SINCE THE BISTON MARATHON BOMBINGS GIVERNMENT GAS BEEN ON MY ASS . I YSED TO LIVE AT THE ALAZAN COURTS WITH MY WIFE THEN RIGHT AFTER LISEINF OUR OLDEST JOSUA ANTHONY LOPEZ " CHA " AFTER CONNOR ST. WE MIVED TO SAN LUIS STREET IN THE ALAZAN NIEBORS WITH A CRYSTAL WHOS FATHER IS A TRAINER FOR THE SPURS .
I WAS ALSO AN EMPLOYEE IF BLE STAR AND WAS REDPONSABLE FOR MANY PROPERTIES THERE WHICH HAVE ALSO BEEN STOLEN FROM ME AND I NEED EMERGENCY HELP .
AFTER THISE SIGNATURES , IN A EUROPEAN ACCENT I HEARD 99 PROBLEMS ON YOU TUBE , THE ONKY TIME HEARD EVER AND IT SAID " IF YOUR SON CHIEF IS HAVING GIRL PROBLEMS CHUEFSON AS TATTOOD ON A SA PORN HUB MOVIE .
SA PORN HD .... SAPD ? YEP MISSERECTING FROM THE CIMAND CENTER STILL RIGHT NOW !!
TREASON LIJE A MOTHERFUCKER !!!



All comments from YouTube:

John Plumley

this video is a masterpiece for real, Ye knows!

stratobee

And there you have it - the best edited music video in history, thanks to Robert Duffy/Spotwelders. Respect forever.

Tosha Smith

This one of my best Jay-Z songs. He ripped this song. When I'm down it lifts me up.

Cornelious Chambers

I'm jayz dad so piss off wide load.

Lisa Fluid Art AddColor2Life

Glad to see his back on YouTube! One of my all time favorite songs! I know a lil’ bit, enough to know you won’t illegally search my shit. ....... I got 99 problems ........ love it!

Bass Trammel

It's proper advise, he truly ceares about people. Bless his heart.

fernando figueroa

Everyone forgets that Rick Rubin is an great producer.This masterpiece tells it all.And for Hova on spitting bars?Classic.

Alan Butler

This is my go to song when I’m feeling down about my life because it’s like true, i got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one! 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

TheBroknPezDispenser

Facts!

kevin borrayo

Some facts

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