Drowning
Jay Brannan Lyrics


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Music and Lyrics by Jay Brannan

It’s four A.M. again
Father, forgive me this sin
Uncomfortable in this life, yeah
I can’t put down this knife, yeah

I’m carving words in my arms, baby
Hey, scars are part of my charm, maybe
I need the touch of a hand
This isn’t what I had planned

Chorus
I need relief from this life
I wanna slip away into the night
Don’t wanna see the sun again
But can’t get swallowed up by this tragic whirlwind
I wish the ocean was warm
I feel like drowning

I’m losing my faith in me
I can’t remember the last time I felt free
From voices inside my head
When I taste liberation, they just feed me fear instead

You say I’m out of control
At least I still have a soul
No, I don’t need your advice
Some compassion would be nice

Chorus

Bridge:
I can’t take any more of your pills
They hold my head up
But still it feels so wrong
I can’t believe the price that I’ve paid
For this chemically-induced, perceivably ideal, take-it-with-a-glass-of-water day





Chorus

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of "Drowning" by Jay Brannan are about struggling with mental health issues and feeling trapped in a cycle of self-destructive behavior. The singer of the song is battling with depression and is experiencing suicidal thoughts. The lyrics "I can't put down this knife, yeah" and "I'm carving words in my arms, baby" suggest that the singer is self-harming as a way of coping with their pain. The scars are described as part of their charm, highlighting how they have become used to their destructive behavior.


The chorus of the song shows the singer's desire to escape from their life and the struggles they are facing. They wish for relief and to be able to slip away into the night, away from the pain they are experiencing. The line "I wish the ocean was warm, I feel like drowning" emphasizes the severity of their pain and the sense of hopelessness they feel.


The bridge of the song focuses on the use of medication to treat mental health issues. The singer is critical of the pills they have been prescribed and is feeling disillusioned with the idea of a "perceivably ideal" life that comes with taking medication. The line "I can't believe the price that I've paid" suggests that the medication has come at a cost to their overall well-being.


Overall, the song is a raw and poignant depiction of the struggles many people face when dealing with mental health issues.


Line by Line Meaning

It’s four A.M. again
It's the middle of the night again, and I can't sleep


Father, forgive me this sin
I'm asking for forgiveness from a higher power


Uncomfortable in this life, yeah
I don't feel comfortable in my current life


I can’t put down this knife, yeah
I can't stop hurting myself


I’m carving words in my arms, baby
I'm hurting myself by carving words into my arms


Hey, scars are part of my charm, maybe
I try to justify my self-harm by calling it a characteristic


I need the touch of a hand
I'm craving human contact


This isn’t what I had planned
My life isn't going as I had hoped


I need relief from this life
I need a break from my current situation


I wanna slip away into the night
I want to escape my life


Don’t wanna see the sun again
I don't want to face reality


But can’t get swallowed up by this tragic whirlwind
I don't want to get consumed by my problems


I wish the ocean was warm
I wish I could find comfort in something as simple as water


I feel like drowning
I feel overwhelmed and like I'm suffocating


I’m losing my faith in me
I'm losing confidence in myself


I can’t remember the last time I felt free
I can't recall the last time I felt truly free


From voices inside my head
I'm struggling with negative thoughts and self-doubt


When I taste liberation, they just feed me fear instead
Whenever I try to change my situation, my negative thoughts hold me back


You say I’m out of control
Others notice my behavior and are concerned


At least I still have a soul
I still have my sense of self, despite my struggles


No, I don’t need your advice
I don't want unsolicited advice


Some compassion would be nice
I'd appreciate empathy instead of judgement


I can’t take any more of your pills
I don't want to rely on medication to feel better


They hold my head up
The medication helps me function but doesn't address my underlying issues


But still it feels so wrong
Even though the medication helps, it doesn't feel like a sustainable solution


I can’t believe the price that I’ve paid
I'm realizing the negative consequences of my previous actions and decisions


For this chemically-induced, perceivably ideal, take-it-with-a-glass-of-water day
The medication seems like a quick fix but ultimately isn't a viable solution




Contributed by Zoe V. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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