McGruff The Crime Dog
Jello Biafra with The Melvins Lyrics

Thank you, Osama
Ironically thanking Osama Bin Laden for creating an environment where the government can infringe on citizens' privacy and freedoms under the guise of national security.

You are the savior
Again, ironic praise for Bin Laden's role in expanding surveillance and government control.

Of our economy today
Bin Laden's actions have allowed for the government to justify spending more money on 'Homeland Security,' a goldmine for those involved in the industry.

Now that the dot coms
The dot com bubble bursting and ensuing stock frauds have crippled the economy and made investment in Homeland Security more attractive to both the government and private businesses.

Choked on their stock frauds
Referencing the fraudulent practices that took place during the dot com era and the resulting damage to the business sector.

Goldmine's Homeland Security
A play on words, wherein 'Homeland Security' is both a lucrative goldmine for those involved and a reference to the idea of a secure 'homeland.'

Why not hire half the country
Suggesting that widespread surveillance could be a solution to the issue of unemployment.

To spy on the other half?
Taking the suggestion of hiring a large number of people to surveil the public to its logical extreme: spying on citizens to maintain control of the population.

No more unemployment
Hiring half of the country for surveillance is hyperbolic, but the idea is that it could create employment opportunities.

Or privacy enjoyment
The downside of mass surveillance is the loss of privacy, which is no longer possible to enjoy.

Think of the dividends
Returning to the subject of profit, this line suggests that the surveillance state would be profitable for those who invest in it.

Who can we trust?
A rhetorical question, since the answer is clearly 'no one.'

We trust McGruff The Crime Dog
The song then introduces McGruff the Crime Dog, a symbol of paranoia and authoritarianism.

Our O.G. TV Narc
Original Gangsta TV Narc. Refers to McGruff as an original member of anti-drug campaigns on TV, but also ties him to criminal culture.

Since you've accepted being drug tested
Refers to the practice of drug testing people at work, school, and other aspects of daily life.

At work, At school, At play, At home
Listing the various contexts in which drug testing is becoming increasingly common.

You'll each rejoice at
The idea being that people will accept invasive surveillance in exchange for the illusion of safety and security.

Your new companion
McGruff is being presented as a companion, but more accurately fits the role of a watchful overseer.

Who follows you everywhere you go
The idea that the government is constantly watching its citizens and infringing on privacy in various ways.

Always dressed in a trenchcoat
A reference to shady, nefarious figures you might expect to find lurking in alleys, as well as a nod to 1950s detective films.

And a McGruff doggie mask
The character of McGruff is being further mythologized and turned into an iconic figure of surveillance culture.

Never know who they are
The surveillance state is faceless and impersonal, given how difficult it is to actually identify the individuals involved in monitoring the public.

Kuz you know better than to ask
Self-explanatory—citizens are not supposed to question authority.

Total Awareness
A term popularized by the Bush administration to get support for domestic spying programs, which are being heavily critiqued by Biafra and the Melvins in this song.

He sees you when you're sleeping
A reference to Santa Claus, and an allusion to the fact that people are monitored even in their most intimate moments.

He knows when you're awake
Another allusion to the idea of constant monitoring and observation by higher powers.

He knows when you've been bad or good
A line from Santa Claus is Coming to Town, highlighting the fact that the government is watching us constantly, waiting for a reason to act against us.

So be good for the sake of
Again, urging citizens to conform—to be 'good' for the sake of pleasing authority figures.

McGruff the Crime Dog
The idea is that we're being manipulated, somewhat hilariously, into becoming more compliant and less individualistic, all in the name of crime prevention.

Watching your every move
Lays it out there in the open: citizens are being monitored at all times.

Your guardian angel in a doggie mask
A sarcastic way of framing McGruff, since he's actually something closer to a prison guard than a guardian angel.

In bed while you're asleep
No escape from surveillance or control, not even in the confines of the bedroom.

No home invasions
Suggesting that the watchful nature of the government is preventing crimes, but doing so by taking away freedom and privacy.

Beside you when you get it on
Even intimate moments are scrutinized by the state under the pretext of preventing sex crimes or sexual harassment.

No date rape
Referencing a specific type of sex crime, and insinuating that the government is playing on the fears and anxieties of citizens in order to increase its power and influence.

Stick a thumbtack up your butt
A vulgar way of saying 'watch your back' or 'mind your behavior.'

When you're slacking on the job
Another way of contextualizing the idea of surveillance: always watching, in order to keep people in line with what is expected of them.

Together
Uniting under the banner of the surveillance state, sacrificing quite a bit of freedom in the process.

We will protect our way of life
Suggesting that the government is doing all of this in order to protect the public from unseen threats, even if it means promoting a kind of fascist system of control.

Report all suspicious activity
Urging citizens to report one another for any actions or beliefs that may be seen as subversive or a threat to the existing power structure.

Turn in your friends
Taking a cue from the Stasi of East Germany, promoting paranoia and mistrust within the population.

Keep your home terrorist free
The song reminds us that the constant surveillance we are being put under is being justified by an ostensible need to prevent potential terrorist attacks.

Take a Bite Out of Crime
A play on the slogan for the National Crime Prevention Council's McGruff campaign, but being used to mock the idea of such simplistic solutions to complex issues.

Take a Bite Out of Crime!
Once again, mocking the idea of easy solutions for difficult political problems.