After exploring the flute (elementary school) and the tuba (junior high), Jenny finally stepped up to the guitar at the age of fourteen.
She graduated from State University of New York at Purchase with a degree in studio composition.
Her album Batten the Hatches was self-released in 2005. In 2006, a song from that album, Fuck Was I, appeared in the second season premiere of Showtime's Weeds, resulting in Batten the Hatches being re-released on April 10, 2007 with new artwork and an extra track, Drinking Song on the Canadian indie label Nettwerk. "Fuck Was I" was also released on the soundtrack album Weeds: Music from the Original Series, Vol. 2.
In addition to her solo career, she is in the band The Robot Explosion, a side project with fellow musicians and friends Bess Rogers, Andrew Futral, and Saul Simon-MacWilliams. She also takes part in an online podcast through MySpace with Bess Rogers and Andrew Futral, titled 'Once More With Feeling' (named after the musical episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer).
Youngs released her second album, Transmitter Failure, on May 26, 2009. Youngs' third album An Unwavering Band of Light, was released on February 7, 2012.
She recently toured with Regina Spektor (whose phone message also appears on Voice on Tape) and has opened a few shows for Amanda Palmer.
Youngs covered Have You Forgotten by Mark Kozelek for American Laundromat Records' upcoming charity CD Sing Me To Sleep - Indie Lullabies due out in Spring 2010. Tanya Donelly, Dean & Britta, Say Hi, Julie Peel, Stars, The Real Tuesday Weld, and others are contributing to the project which helps children with cancer and rare blood disorders.
Fuck Was I
Jenny Owen Youngs Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Parasite bent on devouring its host
I'm developing my sense of humor
Till I can laugh at my heart between your teeth
Till I can laugh at my face beneath your feet
Skillet on the stove
It's such a temptation
Maybe I'll be the lucky one that doesn't get burnt
What the fuck was I thinking?
Love plows through me like a dozer
I've got more give than a bale of hay
And there's always a big mess left over
With the "What did you do?"
And the "What did you say?"
"What did you do?" and the "What did you say?"
Skillet on the stove
It's such a temptation
Maybe I'll be the special one that doesn't get burnt
What the fuck was I thinking?
What the fuck was I thinking?
What the fuck was I thinking?
What the fuck was I thinking?
Love tears me up like a demon
Opens the wounds, then fills them with lead
And I'm having some trouble just breathing
If we weren't such good friends I think that I'd hate you
If we weren't such good friends I'd wish you were dead
Skillet on the stove
It's such a temptation
Maybe I'll be the lucky one that doesn't get burnt
What the fuck was I thinking?
What the fuck was I thinking?
What the fuck was I thinking?
Love is so embarrassing
I'm this awkward and uncomfortable thing
I'm running out of places to hide it
I'm running out of places to hide it
What the fuck was I thinking?
(You know that I've got what you want)
What the fuck was I thinking?
(You know that I've got what you want)
What the fuck was I thinking?
(You know that I've got what you want)
What the fuck was I thinking?
(You know that I've got what you want)
The song 'Fuck Was I' by Jenny Owen Youngs is a brutally honest portrayal of being in a toxic relationship that is tearing one apart. The title of the song itself is a rhetorical question posed by the singer, as she attempts to make sense of the situation she is in. The metaphorical references to cancer and demons highlight the intensity of the love that is engulfing her.
The opening line, "Love grows in me like a tumor / Parasite bent on devouring its host" compares her love to a cancerous growth that is slowly consuming her. The singer is aware of the harm the love is causing her, yet she is helplessly falling for it. She then talks about developing her sense of humor, hoping to find some relief in laughing at her own pain.
The lyrics then move onto the idea of temptation, as she compares herself to a skillet on the stove. The idea of being burnt symbolizes the pain and hurt caused by the relationship. Despite knowing the dangers involved, the singer is unable to resist the temptation of being with her lover. She questions her own sanity by asking, "what the fuck was I thinking?"
The final line, "Love is so embarrassing" indicates her shame and frustration with the situation. She has nowhere left to hide her love, and it's becoming an awkward and uncomfortable thing for her. The repeated chorus "What the fuck was I thinking?" indicates the singer's confusion and self-doubt.
Overall, the song is a powerful portrayal of the self-destructive nature of love that often makes one lose their sense of self. It highlights how love can be both all-consuming and destructive.
Line by Line Meaning
Love grows in me like a tumor
Love gradually takes over my entire self, like a destructive growth that preys on its own host
I'm developing my sense of humor
I'm trying to find the joke in the painful situation of having my heart in your grip
Till I can laugh at my heart between your teeth
I aim to become detached enough from my emotional attachment to you, that I can comically appreciate how you have my heart in your stranglehold
Till I can laugh at my face beneath your feet
I aim to become detached enough from my emotional attachment to you, that I can comically appreciate how you step on me with no regret
Skillet on the stove
A frying pan heating on a kitchen range
It's such a temptation
It looks so alluring and desirable to me
Maybe I'll be the lucky one that doesn't get burnt
I hope that I'm the exception, that I won't suffer the damage that others have experienced from similar choices
What the fuck was I thinking?
I cannot believe I made such an unwise decision
Love plows through me like a dozer
Love obliterates me to the point where I'm utterly flattened and incapable of standing strong
I've got more give than a bale of hay
I'm so vulnerable to you, you can mold me into any shape you want
And there's always a big mess left over
There's always a disaster, or a trail of destruction, once our interaction is over
With the 'What did you do?'
The questions I'm asked about what I've done wrong
And the 'What did you say?'
The questions I'm asked about what I said wrong
Love tears me up like a demon
Love destructively rips me apart like a supernatural horror
Opens the wounds, then fills them with lead
Love opens my emotional scars and then lets my pain fester and become a heavy, weight-addling burden
And I'm having some trouble just breathing
I'm suffocating under the weight of what is happening to me emotionally
If we weren't such good friends I think that I'd hate you
If it wasn't for the fact that we have a close relationship, I would harbour passive or active loathing for you
If we weren't such good friends I'd wish you were dead
If we didn't have such an intimate friendship, I would desire the worst possible outcome for you
Love is so embarrassing
Love is an uncomfortable, awkwardly difficult feeling to experience
I'm this awkward and uncomfortable thing
I become a ridiculous, absurd spectacle due to the intensity of my infatuation
I'm running out of places to hide it
There are fewer and fewer outlets to express my love safely without being consumed by it
(You know that I've got what you want)
You're aware of what I offer, emotionally or otherwise
Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: Jennifer Owen Youngs
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@jaimepiocuda1095
14 years after release and I’m just now seeing this. The soft vocals paired with the harsh context is pretty unique with her song style. I’m glad I found her
@jasonstoker8704
I miss this era from time to time
@shaneleroy3529
Who out here in 2020? Real sad boi hours
@ethaera
Here today! was looking up old songs I loved covering back in my early days of Open Mic for a sense of renewed inspiration... This did the deal
@TimWochomurka
Love grows in me like a tumour in September
@AtooWoodzman
I'm here from Good Ole MO. 💞
Dang if this song isn't true for me
@tjunn936
2021...
@songsthatarecatchy
2022 June sad lonely girl hours
@samtaylor8336
Haven’t heard this in 10 years, yet it’s still a song I can pick up a guitar and play and singing pretty much any time. Given myself lots of opportunities to do so.
@Captainawesomesauce
I've been listening to this song over many many moons and each and every time it resonates. ♥ Thanks, Jenny.