Survivor
Jessica Weiser Lyrics
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Dead weight I cannot push it off
Felt your pain inside me
Trapping the thoughts in my mind
Strip away my dignity
Peel off my strength
Inside I am bleeding
Too swollen for healing
I push the fear down in
Today isn't a good day for rain anyway
And there are times and places for these things
Strip away my dignity
Peel off my strength
Inside I am bleeding
And I just want my life back
14, awkward, and broken
Normalcy out of my range
I will survive the days okay
But still feel I'm the one to blame
Strip away my dignity
Peel off my strength
Inside I am bleeding
And I just want my life back
Inside I am healing
And I will get my life back
The lyrics of Jessica Weiser's song Survivor are written from the perspective of someone who has gone through an emotionally traumatic experience, such as abuse or a difficult breakup. The opening lines, "A shield of rage upon me/Dead weight I cannot push it off," describe the intense anger and burden that the singer is carrying with them. They feel the pain of the person who hurt them, while also being trapped by their own thoughts and emotions. The line "strip away my dignity/peel off my strength" suggests that the singer's sense of self has been deeply wounded by the experience, leaving them feeling vulnerable and exposed.
In the chorus, the singer expresses their desire to reclaim their life from the trauma they've experienced, saying "And I just want my life back." However, the next verse suggests that healing is a slow and difficult process - "too swollen for healing/I push the fear down in." The line "Today isn't a good day for rain anyway/and there are times and places for these things" shows that the singer is trying to be patient with themselves and their emotions, acknowledging that healing happens on its own timeline.
The final verse describes the singer as a 14-year-old struggling to find a sense of normalcy after going through something traumatic. They feel isolated and blame themselves for what happened. However, the final line offers a glimmer of hope - "Inside I am healing/And I will get my life back." Overall, the lyrics of "Survivor" capture the difficulty of healing from trauma while also emphasizing resilience and the power of self-care.
Line by Line Meaning
A shield of rage upon me
I am feeling intense anger that is acting as a protective barrier.
Dead weight I cannot push it off
I am weighed down by something that I can't seem to shake off.
Felt your pain inside me
I empathize with your pain and feel it deeply within myself.
Trapping the thoughts in my mind
I am unable to let go of certain thoughts and they keep cycling in my mind.
Strip away my dignity
I feel like I am being stripped of my self-respect.
Peel off my strength
I feel like my inner strength is being compromised and weakened.
Inside I am bleeding
My emotional pain is causing me to feel like I am bleeding internally.
And I just want my life back
I yearn for things to be the way they were before and to feel in control of my life again.
Too swollen for healing
My emotional wounds still feel very raw and I am not ready for the healing process yet.
I push the fear down in
I try to ignore or suppress my feelings of fear rather than confront them.
Today isn't a good day for rain anyway
I don't want to deal with any more emotional turmoil today.
And there are times and places for these things
I am aware that certain emotions are appropriate for certain situations and try to regulate myself accordingly.
14, awkward, and broken
I feel vulnerable and insecure due to my age and personal circumstances.
Normalcy out of my range
I feel like what is considered normal or average is out of my reach or unachievable.
I will survive the days okay
Despite my struggles, I know I can make it through each day.
But still feel I'm the one to blame
I blame myself for many of my problems and feel responsible for how things have turned out.
Inside I am healing
Although I am still hurting, I am starting to make progress in my healing process.
And I will get my life back
I am hopeful that I will eventually be able to regain control of my life and feel like myself again.
Contributed by Violet N. Suggest a correction in the comments below.