Freak
Jil Lyrics

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I was lost, in a cloud of doubt
In a sea of questions
Kept swimming but it got me nowhere
I was stuffed by the endless drought
By unlearned lessons
Found a truth, in pursuit of you
In my sea of questions
Kept swimming but it got me nowhere

I was wrong about who I was
About what I've done
And where I come from

Still sleeping on couches
Crashed at a couple of houses
Borrowed every part of my outfit, but that ain't about shit
My life is a book full of changes
Right now we just flipping through pages
Living in ages back in time
A travelling mind is trying to grasp the past that was left behind
While exploring the signs that I have at hand
What does it mean for a black man to be an active activist?
Or an artist activated by hardships?
And all this backwards involvement
The struggle for a true sense of being
Where nothing has any meaning and meaning is everything
The severing of old friends and old ties
The opening of blue skies and sunshine
The truth lies in what changes at nighttime
It's half time, I'm only half past mine

I was lost, in a lucid lie

In a low life high
In a burning dream, couldn't see

Overall Meaning

Jil's song "Freak" speaks to the journey of self-discovery, addressing the internal struggles that come with growing up, moving forward, and discovering who you are. The opening lines of this song suggest a feeling of uncertainty, swimming in "a sea of questions," and being "lost in a cloud of doubt." Yet in the midst of the confusion, Jil finds a truth - something he is pursuing. This is a common theme throughout the song - the journey of self-discovery and finding truth.

The lyrics suggest that Jil has had a difficult past, sleeping on couches and borrowing clothes to get by. He acknowledges the changes in his life and reflects on the past while exploring the signs he has in the present. Jil explores what it means to be a black man who is an active activist, as well as an artist activated by hardships. He reflects on the struggles of finding a true sense of being while acknowledging that everything is a balance between having meaning and having no meaning at all.

In the final verse, Jil describes being lost again, this time in a "lucid lie," suggesting that he may be more comfortable with uncertainty than certainty. Despite this sense of unease, he embraces the journey and the pursuit of truth.

Line by Line Meaning

I was lost, in a cloud of doubt
My mind was trapped in doubts and uncertainties

In a sea of questions
I was surrounded by problems and not sure of the solutions

Kept swimming but it got me nowhere
I kept trying to overcome my problems but nothing seemed to work

I was stuffed by the endless drought
I was overwhelmed by the challenging situations I was facing

By unlearned lessons
I was struggling with issues that I hadn't learned to handle before

Found a truth, in pursuit of you
I found the truth in striving to be a better version of myself

In my sea of questions
Despite having problems, I was determined to find the answers

I was wrong about who I was
I realized that my identity was misplaced

About what I've done
I realized that my past actions hadn't defined me

And where I come from
I realized that my background didn't have to limit me

Still sleeping on couches
I was still struggling to make ends meet

Crashed at a couple of houses
I had to stay with friends and acquaintances because I couldn't afford my own place

Borrowed every part of my outfit, but that ain't about shit
I was borrowing clothes from others, but that wasn't important in the grand scheme of things

My life is a book full of changes
My life is constantly evolving

Right now we just flipping through pages
I'm currently experiencing a period of change

Living in ages back in time
I'm exploring my past for answers

A travelling mind is trying to grasp the past that was left behind
I'm trying to understand my past struggles and hardships

What does it mean for a black man to be an active activist?
I'm exploring my role and identity as a black man and an activist

Or an artist activated by hardships?
I'm also exploring how my hardships have shaped me as an artist

And all this backwards involvement
I'm confused about the events that have brought me here

The struggle for a true sense of being
I'm struggling to find my true identity

Where nothing has any meaning and meaning is everything
I'm looking for meaning and purpose in life, even if it's not obvious

The severing of old friends and old ties
I'm letting go of the past to make room for the future

The opening of blue skies and sunshine
I'm embracing new possibilities and opportunities

The truth lies in what changes at nighttime
I'm finding truth and answers in the changes that happen when the day ends