Raised in New York City, Carroll who attended several Catholic Grammar Schools from 1955 to 1963. In fall 1963, he entered public school, but was soon awarded a scholarship to the elite Trinity High School (a private school). He entered Trinity High School in 1964.
Apart from being interested in writing, Carroll was a passionate basketball player throughout his grade school and middle school career. He entered the "Biddy League" at age 13 and participated in the National High School All Star Game in 1966, hence the title of his most famous book.
As a teenager, Carroll was a heroin addict who sometimes prostituted himself to afford his habit. The novel The Basketball Diaries concerns his life in New York City's hard drug culture and his struggle to rid himself of his addiction.
Carroll published his first book, Organic Trains, at age 17. Several of his poems have been published in such magazines as Paris Review and Poetry. In 1970, his second collection of poems, 4 Ups and 1 Down was published. That same year, Carroll started working for Andy Warhol. At first, he was writing film dialogue and inventing character names; later on, Carroll worked as the co-manager of Warhol's Theater. Carroll's first above-ground publication, the collection Living At The Movies was published in 1973.
He formed The Jim Carroll Band, a New Wave/punk rock group, in 1980. Their biggest commercial success was the single "People Who Died," from their debut album, Catholic Boy. He has also collaborated with many influential punk and hard rock musicians, including Lou Reed, Blue Öyster Cult, Boz Scaggs and Rancid.
Carroll died on September 11, 2009 of a heart attack. He was 60.
I Want The Angel
Jim Carroll Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Whose dreams are fatal
They cause the snake's milk to run and curdle
I want the angel
Whose darkness doubles
It absorbs the brilliance of all my troubles
I want the angel
Every time I whisper, "Girl it does not matter"
I want the angel
Who's got the proof
She signals her devotion from the rails on the roof
I want the angel
That comes to stay
She don't let lawyers and ambition lead her away
I want the angel
Whose eyes are raving
Who takes what I'm giving and not what I'm saving
I want the angel
Whose bones are so sharp
That they can break through their own excuses
Well, to be a blind man,
Hey, that would be a fine thing
Then I could dream at night of total strangers
And all the music would be so spaceless
And all the women would be so faceless,
They'd be so faceless they'd be like old film
Just like old film I never did process
I want the angel
That knows the sky
She got virtue, she got the parallel light in her eye
I want the angel
That's partly lame
She filters clarity from her desperate shame
I want the angel
That knows rejection
Who's like a whore in love with her own reflection
I want the angel
Whose touch don't miss
When the blood comes through the dropper like a thick red kiss
If I could break through I could be certain
But this obsession is like some fiery curtain
All the numbers reduced to zero
And those who died young, they are my heroes
They are my heroes, they took the walk
Where the heart made sense and the mind can't talk
I want the angel
Whose child don't weep
She's got dreams designed for eternal sleep
I want the angel
That will not change
Into a four-legged monster in love with the strange
I want the angel
That never chooses
And don't come running back every time she loses
But I want the angel that never loses
In Jim Carroll's song "I Want The Angel," we are presented with the singer's longing for a specific kind of woman - an angel. However, this is not a typical idealized image of an angel. The singer wants an angel whose dreams are fatal - someone who has experienced dark and dangerous dreams. They want someone whose darkness doubles, someone who can absorb the brilliance of all their troubles. They want an angel who will not shatter, who can withstand the trials of life. This person should be unbreakable, someone who won't shatter every time they say that "it does not matter."
The angel the singer desires is someone who is authentic, who comes to stay, and who is not swayed by lawyers or ambition. Their eyes should be raving, and they should take what the singer gives them, not what the singer saves. This angel should be able to see through excuses and should understand rejection. They should be someone the singer can touch without missing, and when the blood comes through the dropper, it should be like a thick red kiss.
Overall, the song is a deeply emotional plea for someone who can understand the singer and share their experiences. The singer wants an angel who is not perfect, but who is authentic and unbreakable. They want someone who will not change and who will never lose. The song's lyrics are evocative and powerful, exploring themes of love, loss, and longing.
Line by Line Meaning
I want the angel
The singer desires a specific kind of angel.
Whose dreams are fatal
The angel has dreams that are dangerous or deadly for others.
They cause the snake's milk to run and curdle
The angel's dreams have a powerful and destructive effect on those around them.
Whose darkness doubles
The angel's darkness and negativity are strong and overwhelming.
It absorbs the brilliance of all my troubles
The angel's darkness consumes and overwhelms the singer's problems and worries.
That will not shatter
The angel is strong and resilient, able to withstand pressure and adversity.
Every time I whisper, "Girl it does not matter"
The singer is reassuring the angel that things will be okay and that their relationship is important.
Who's got the proof
The angel has evidence or confirmation of something important.
She signals her devotion from the rails on the roof
The angel shows her unwavering loyalty and devotion in a public and visible way.
That comes to stay
The angel is a permanent and reliable fixture in the singer's life.
She don't let lawyers and ambition lead her away
The angel is not swayed by money or career goals, but stays true to her values and relationships.
Whose eyes are raving
The angel's eyes are wild and intense.
Who takes what I'm giving and not what I'm saving
The angel values the singer's emotional and personal offerings, rather than material possessions or money.
Whose bones are so sharp
The angel is tough and strong, able to break through obstacles and excuses.
That they can break through their own excuses
The angel is motivated and driven, able to overcome their own weaknesses and limitations.
Well, to be a blind man,
The singer wishes to be blind to certain aspects of reality or to be ignorant of certain truths.
Hey, that would be a fine thing
The singer believes that ignorance and blindness would be preferable to facing certain realities.
Then I could dream at night of total strangers
The singer wishes to escape reality by dreaming of unknown or unfamiliar people.
And all the music would be so spaceless
The singer's dreams are surreal and disconnected from reality, represented by a lack of physical space in the music.
And all the women would be so faceless,
The people in the singer's dreams are undefined and lack clear identity, represented by the women without faces.
They'd be so faceless they'd be like old film
The people in the singer's dreams are reminiscent of old, undeveloped film footage, lacking clear features or detail.
Just like old film I never did process
The singer's dreams are unfulfilled or unanswered, like film negatives that are never developed or brought to life.
That knows the sky
The angel has an understanding or knowledge of the heavens or divine forces.
She got virtue, she got the parallel light in her eye
The angel possesses virtuous qualities and has a special light or brightness in her eyes.
That's partly lame
The angel has some kind of physical or emotional disability or limitation.
She filters clarity from her desperate shame
The angel is able to find or create clarity and purpose in her own shame, pain, or suffering.
That knows rejection
The angel is familiar with or has experienced rejection in some form.
Who's like a whore in love with her own reflection
The angel is vain or self-absorbed, and is enamored with her own image or reflected identity.
Whose touch don't miss
The angel's touch is precise and effective, making a strong impact on the singer.
When the blood comes through the dropper like a thick red kiss
The singer is possibly referencing drug use, and the physical or emotional effects of taking drugs.
If I could break through I could be certain
The singer wishes to overcome a personal obstacle or challenge in order to find answers or resolve doubts.
But this obsession is like some fiery curtain
The singer is consumed by an overwhelming fixation or passion that obscures or blinds him from seeing the truth clearly.
All the numbers reduced to zero
The singer feels disconnected or detached from the world, as if everything has lost its meaning or significance.
And those who died young, they are my heroes
The singer admires or looks up to people who have died young, perhaps finding their deaths to be more meaningful or significant than a long life.
They are my heroes, they took the walk
The people the singer idolizes took risks or made bold choices that the singer sees as admirable or heroic.
Where the heart made sense and the mind can't talk
The singer believes that important decisions and actions come from the heart, rather than the mind or intellect.
That's designed for eternal sleep
The angel's dreams or goals are intended for a peaceful or permanent rest, rather than for fulfillment or completion.
That will not change
The singer desires an angel who will remain loyal and stable throughout any changes or difficulties.
Into a four-legged monster in love with the strange
The singer fears that the angel will become strange or unrecognizable, changing into a monstrous or unknown form.
That never chooses
The angel does not pick or favor one thing or person over another, remaining neutral or unbiased.
And don't come running back every time she loses
The singer desires an angel who is independent and resilient, not relying on him or others to pick her up after every setback or loss.
But I want the angel that never loses
The singer wants an angel who is strong and successful, never experiencing failure or defeat.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Brian Ladd Linsley, Jim Dennis Carroll
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind