Bowling
Jim Gaffigan Lyrics


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I've had so much fun here I have. I went bowling, I don't mean to brag. Really there are two types of people that go bowling. There are people that really really love bowling, and then there are the people that are like, "Wouldn't it be hysterical if we went bowling?". Cause for most of us, bowling is the activity you do after you've done everything else. It's like (says in funny voice) "Well we could go bowling, or we could just hang our selfs". "Why don't we go bowling?". No ones ever jealous when they hear you went bowling. "Oh you went bowling? Glad I couldn't make it.". Bowling's great you gotta love a sport you can eat while you play it. Never see that in tennis! "Hey before you serve just let me dig into these nachos!". It's a different sport. Theres an ash tray built into the bowling equipment! Poker doesn't even have that! And that hand dryer thing! If you're sweating while your bowling, you're outta shape! If you're outta shape and you're bowling, you're probably a professional bowler! Nothing really healthy about bowling. Must be the germafobe's nightmare! "Here put on these moist shoes Ten-thousand people have wore. And stick your fingers in these dirty holes! Now you have the flu!". How dirty are those holes! It's not like those balls wear out! They probably haven't manufactured a bowling ball in a thousand years! Someones out there using Fred Flinstone's right now! (in funny voice) "That is preposterous!" I don't own a bowling ball cause I'm not a WEIRDO. (in funny voice) "Yeah I wanna volunteer to carry round a fifty pound ball! Can you put it in a big ugly purse? That's how I wanna meet the lady's! (in deep funny voice) "Hmm couldn't help but notice you staring at my purse. It's filled with a big blue ball. Mind if I follow you round the parking lot? I'll just be humming. HMM HMM HMM BALL IN DA BAG!". (in high funny voice) "That's the worst song ever!". I always have to pick out my bowling ball. I can never find the right one, I'm like "This one's to heavy! This one's good but its PINK, and my fingers don't fit!". How do they decide on the finger sizes? Their either for a five year old girl or the incredible hulk! How big are some peoples fingers?!?! Some guy wearing a catchers mitt? (funny deep voice) "Yeah it's good. I can still catch the game don't worry bout it.". Those bowling shoes, no update there. (funny voice) "You need our special shoes before role our magic ball.". Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes and no friends. (high funny voice) "Thats mean.". I can say that cause I like bowling. I watch bowling on TV, cause I... use my time wisely. I saw this college team championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? (low funny voice) "Know what this time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins.". "You sure?.". "Trust me. JUST DO IT SON!". (high funny voice) "Thats weird.". Bowling seems silly but, yeah we all take it very seriously right? Till we get that first gutter ball. We're like, (funny voice) "Lemme show you how it's done, heh heh heh heh! (draws in breath) This is a stupid sport.". -_- Humph. Theres few moments in life as humiliating as that gutter ball. The worst part is then you have to make that turn back to your friends. "That ball's BROKEN! It's tilted down there!". Ya never wanna be the worst bowler in the group cause then everybody treats you like ya have cancer. (high funny voice) "You can do it! We're praying for you!" The advice starts "Use a heavier ball, keep your arms straight, you should get a bisect mate!". If you're really bad like me they'll ask if you want the BUMPERS up. Not like bowling's that complex anyway (low funny voice) "Ya want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins, why don't ya take this coloring book and sit in the corner.". But I like bowling, it's perfect for the lazy man. No other sport has a machine that roles the ball back to you, AT ARM LEVEL. (in low funny voice) "Alright I'll keep play'in. Is there any way I can do this in a chair or something?".




Overall Meaning

In Jim Gaffigan's song "Bowling," he explores the different types of people who enjoy bowling and the humorous aspects of the activity. He begins by noting that there are those who love bowling and those who view it as a funny activity, often as a last resort. Bowling is unique in that it allows you to eat while playing, and the equipment even has an ashtray built in. The hand dryer is also noteworthy, and Gaffigan jokes that if you sweat while bowling, then you're out of shape. However, he notes that the equipment can be pretty dirty and unsanitary, which can be a nightmare for germophobes.


Gaffigan goes on to poke fun at bowling shoes and how difficult it can be to find the right ball with the right size finger holes. He jokes that some people have fingers as big as catchers mitts or as small as a five-year-old girl's. He also notes that having your own shoes and ball can be a sign of having no friends. Gaffigan even admits to watching bowling on TV and finding it enjoyable, though he's not sure what kind of strategic advice a bowling coach could give.


Line by Line Meaning

I've had so much fun here I have.
I have enjoyed my time here.


I went bowling, I don't mean to brag.
I went bowling, but I am not trying to show off.


Really there are two types of people that go bowling.
There are two distinct types of people who go bowling.


There are people that really really love bowling, and then there are the people that are like, 'Wouldn't it be hysterical if we went bowling?'.
There are people who have a true passion for bowling, while others see it as a funny activity.


Cause for most of us, bowling is the activity you do after you've done everything else.
For many people, bowling is something they do when they have run out of other activities to do.


It's like (says in funny voice) 'Well we could go bowling, or we could just hang our selfs'. 'Why don't we go bowling?'.
Bowling is often seen as a last resort activity when there is nothing else to do.


No ones ever jealous when they hear you went bowling. 'Oh you went bowling? Glad I couldn't make it.'.
Bowling is not a particularly exciting or glamorous activity.


Bowling's great you gotta love a sport you can eat while you play it. Never see that in tennis! 'Hey before you serve just let me dig into these nachos!'.
Bowling is unique in that you can eat while playing the sport, unlike tennis or other sports where eating during play is not feasible.


It's a different sport. Theres an ash tray built into the bowling equipment! Poker doesn't even have that!
Bowling is a unique sport with its own quirks, such as having an ash tray built into the equipment, which other sports like poker do not have.


And that hand dryer thing! If you're sweating while your bowling, you're outta shape! If you're outta shape and you're bowling, you're probably a professional bowler!
The hand dryer in bowling alleys is meant to dry off hands after bowling, and sweating during the sport indicates lack of physical fitness. People who are out of shape but still enjoy bowling may be professional bowlers.


Nothing really healthy about bowling. Must be the germafobe's nightmare! 'Here put on these moist shoes Ten-thousand people have wore. And stick your fingers in these dirty holes! Now you have the flu!'.
There are potential health hazards associated with bowling, such as wearing shoes that have been worn by many people and touching the dirty bowling ball holes, making it a nightmare for germaphobes.


How dirty are those holes! It's not like those balls wear out! They probably haven't manufactured a bowling ball in a thousand years! Someones out there using Fred Flinstone's right now! (in funny voice) 'That is preposterous!'
Bowling balls are not manufactured frequently, and some people may use very old balls, making you wonder about the cleanliness and age of the bowling balls.


I don't own a bowling ball cause I'm not a WEIRDO. (in funny voice) 'Yeah I wanna volunteer to carry round a fifty pound ball! Can you put it in a big ugly purse? That's how I wanna meet the lady's! (in deep funny voice) 'Hmm couldn't help but notice you staring at my purse. It's filled with a big blue ball. Mind if I follow you round the parking lot? I'll just be humming. HMM HMM HMM BALL IN DA BAG!'. (in high funny voice) 'That's the worst song ever!'.
Jim Gaffigan considers people who have their own bowling ball and carry it around to be weirdos, and imagines a hypothetical situation where a guy hits on women by talking about his bowling ball.


I always have to pick out my bowling ball. I can never find the right one, I'm like 'This one's to heavy! This one's good but its PINK, and my fingers don't fit!'. How do they decide on the finger sizes? Their either for a five year old girl or the incredible hulk! How big are some peoples fingers?!?! Some guy wearing a catchers mitt? (funny deep voice) 'Yeah it's good. I can still catch the game don't worry bout it.'.
Choosing the right bowling ball is a difficult task because of the varying finger sizes, some of which are too small or too big, and may only fit certain people with very large fingers.


Those bowling shoes, no update there. (funny voice) 'You need our special shoes before role our magic ball.'.
Bowling shoes have not undergone any significant design changes, and are still required to play the sport.


Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes and no friends. (high funny voice) 'Thats mean.'.
Some people who have their own bowling equipment may be seen as loners, but this is not always the case.


I can say that cause I like bowling. I watch bowling on TV, cause I... use my time wisely.
Jim Gaffigan enjoys watching bowling on TV, and considers it a good use of his time.


I saw this college team championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? (low funny voice) 'Know what this time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins.'. 'You sure?.'. 'Trust me. JUST DO IT SON!'. (high funny voice) 'Thats weird.'.
Jim Gaffigan finds it unusual that bowling teams have coaches, and wonders what kind of advice they could possibly give, like simply telling the players to knock down all the pins.


Bowling seems silly but, yeah we all take it very seriously right? Till we get that first gutter ball. We're like, (funny voice) 'Lemme show you how it's done, heh heh heh heh! (draws in breath) This is a stupid sport.'. -_- Humph.
While bowling may seem silly, people take it seriously, until they make a mistake like getting a gutter ball, after which they may become frustrated or laugh it off.


Theres few moments in life as humiliating as that gutter ball. The worst part is then you have to make that turn back to your friends. 'That ball's BROKEN! It's tilted down there!'.
Getting a gutter ball is often seen as humiliating, and people may try to make excuses to minimize the embarrassment.


Ya never wanna be the worst bowler in the group cause then everybody treats you like ya have cancer. (high funny voice) 'You can do it! We're praying for you!' The advice starts 'Use a heavier ball, keep your arms straight, you should get a bisect mate!'. If you're really bad like me they'll ask if you want the BUMPERS up. Not like bowling's that complex anyway (low funny voice) 'Ya want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins, why don't ya take this coloring book and sit in the corner.'.
Being the worst bowler in a group can sometimes result in pity or insincere support, and people may give advice such as using a heavier ball or keeping arms straight. In extreme cases, people may even suggest using bumpers, which makes the sport easier but takes away the challenge.


But I like bowling, it's perfect for the lazy man. No other sport has a machine that roles the ball back to you, AT ARM LEVEL. (in low funny voice) 'Alright I'll keep play'in. Is there any way I can do this in a chair or something?'.
Jim Gaffigan enjoys bowling as it is a sport that can be played without too much physical exertion, and has the added convenience of having machines that roll the ball back, allowing people to play without having to expend too much energy.




Contributed by William F. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

Just For Funny

I’m sitting at the hospital waiting for my son to come out of brain surgery and needed a few minutes of Jim’s medicine. It totally helped. I looked like a crazy lady laughing in the waiting room. Jim, Thanks for sharing your gift with the rest of us!

RB

Speedy recovery to your son...all the best

porscheman998

This is no doubt why Jim does what he does!

The Volatility Whisperer

Hope it all worked out! Been in similar situation. Terrifying

Reverie Song

Hope all is well

BeatlemaniaPAUL

Pull, I hope your son is doing well. Peace

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Some Guy

I used to bowl every week with my friends. Can't wait to resume. This video was hilarious, as Jim Gaffigan always is. I like how he tells us why owning your own ball and shoes is stupid, and also why bowling with someone else's shoes and ball is stupid. Both jokes were funny. They don't have to make sense.

Abby Rae

No joke I was invited to a birthday party at a bowling alley before we were quarantined. This routine was honestly the first thing I thought of. Those alleys would honestly be a breeding ground for the virus. 😂

John David Thacker

When I started bowling in a league as a child, I had a lot of gutter-balls. The mom who was keeping score drew smiley faces inside all the zeros on my score sheet. This did not make me feel better.

uriah rosenzweig

I'm the 69th like

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