Secrets
Joe Budden/Portishead Lyrics

Her name was China Doll, real name Sasha
She went by the stage name China Doll, but her real name was Sasha

Stripped out in Jersey, a regular show stopper
She worked as a stripper in New Jersey and was a popular performer

Club hopper, couldn't tell her nada'
She frequented various clubs and it was difficult to have any influence over her

Can't even talk to 'er if it ain't about a dollar
She only wanted to have conversations that involved money

Stayed in the latest? Esay?, Gucci, Prada
She wore expensive and fashionable clothing brands such as Esay, Gucci, and Prada

Two kids, no communication with' the father
She had two children but had no communication or relationship with their father

She nineteen, lookin' like the truth is sickenin'
Despite being only nineteen years old, she appeared exceptionally attractive

But boo is trickin' ta' pay schoo' tuition
She resorted to engaging in sexual activities to pay for her school tuition

A hourglass figure with' the best complexion
She had a curvaceous body shape and flawless skin complexion

With' no ratchet on 'er, usin' sex as a weapon
She didn't carry any weapon for protection and used her sexuality as a means to manipulate others

Her man's name Jerome, high school sweetheart
Her boyfriend's name was Jerome, and they had been together since high school

Who just came home for some charges unknown
Jerome had recently been released from a period of incarceration, and the reasons for his arrest were undisclosed

It's 'prolly domestic, he be beatin' 'er ass
The assumption is that their relationship is characterized by domestic violence, with Jerome physically abusing her

China still go ta' work like she be needin' the cash
Despite the abuse, China continued to work as a stripper because she needed the money

Got his name on 'er ankle, real impolite
She had Jerome's name tattooed on her ankle, which was considered disrespectful

I made it rain on 'er once an' bitch couldn't say, "thank you"
Joe Budden spent a lot of money on her once, but she didn't show appreciation

Call me loose, but you'd fuck shorty too
Joe Budden admits that he would also have sexual relations with China

I'm talkin' thirty-six, twenty-four, forty-two
Referring to her body measurements: 36-24-42

She be at the Pink Teacup
China often frequented the Pink Teacup, a specific location

Drunk off Chardonnay an' E'd up
She would get intoxicated on Chardonnay and use drugs

A Black Girl Lost, she need Jesus
China is metaphorically described as a lost individual who is in need of guidance or redemption

Bi-sexual, livin' life on the brink
China identified as bisexual and lived a risky or perilous lifestyle

Newark niggas used to come-through spikin' 'er drink
Men from Newark would often put drugs in her drinks without her knowledge

Puttin' drugs in 'er liquor, throwin' dubs when they tip 'er
They would drug her alcohol and tip her with counterfeit money

She high makin' it clap screamin', "fuck them other niggas!"
Despite being under the influence, China would perform on stage and express her rejection of other men

High demand on 'er, Jerome type jealous
China was in high demand among customers, causing Jerome to feel jealous and possessive

Used to come-through clappin' at niggas that put they hands on 'er
Jerome would physically confront anyone who touched or disrespected China

'Cause of the insanity, fired 'er from Fantasies
Due to her erratic behavior or mental state, she was fired from working at Fantasies, a strip club

Every man's fantasy sufferin' from vanity
Despite being seen as a desirable woman, she struggled with self-absorption and self-esteem issues

I 'member she went broke for a short extent
There was a period when China experienced financial difficulties

So she started fuckin' niggas just to pay her rent
In order to afford her rent, she resorted to having sexual relationships with various men

Started fuckin' anybody that'll get her bent
She engaged in sexual activities with anyone who could provide her with drugs or alcohol

Frequentin' hotels an' cars with' dark tints
She would often spend time in hotels or cars with tinted windows, where illicit activities took place

But she never home, in the World for feelin' 'er greed
She was rarely at her own home because she was constantly seeking personal gain or fulfillment

This a disease, grandmother takin' care of 'er seeds
Her lifestyle was like a disease, and her grandmother had to take care of her children

Now ay'body she be with' keep gettin' 'er Weeded
Everyone she associates with eventually introduces her to drugs

She dropped outta' school, felt (like) it was no longer needed
She left school because she believed it was no longer necessary or valuable

Low self-esteem, a broken home, an' shattered dreams
China suffered from a lack of confidence, came from a troubled family background, and had unfulfilled aspirations

Got China comin' out of 'er jeans
Her promiscuity was evident and visible to others

Get money by any means, wearin' anything that's skin tight
She pursued financial gain through any available method and wore revealing clothing

Pretties up the outside to cover-up what's inside
She focused on her physical appearance to hide or mask her inner struggles or insecurities

That one time bad bitch (dog) don't even look average
Although she was once considered attractive, she no longer appeared exceptional or above average

Borrows her friends clothes, no more money for Saks Fifth
She didn't have enough money to buy new clothes, so she borrowed from her friends and could no longer afford luxury brands like Saks Fifth Avenue

Jerome proposed now they awaitin' marriage
Jerome proposed to her, and they were now engaged and preparing for marriage

Little did he know how many niggas had smashed it
Jerome was unaware of the numerous men she had been sexually involved with

Dre used to pipe 'er, them two was creepin'
Dre had sexual relations with her while they were both engaging in secretive behavior

It was more than jus' beatin', I'm guessin' he really like 'er
Their relationship was not solely based on physical abuse, indicating that Dre had genuine feelings for her

Dre gotta' girl, maybe not with' the label
Dre had a girlfriend, even though they may not have publicly announced their relationship

See, her name is Faith, but he ain't never been faithful
Dre's girlfriend's name is Faith, but he has never been loyal or faithful to her

She used to get? raiseful?, yellin' out, "I hate you!"
When they argued, she would become very angry and express her dislike for him

Been with 'em since he was broke an' he ain't grateful
She has been with Dre since he had no money, but he is not appreciative of her loyalty

Now the nigga's able, financially stable
Dre is now financially successful and stable

But she turnt' the tables, went an' got some other mates too
Instead of being loyal to Dre, she decided to seek other sexual partners

That never stopped her from rummagin' through his shit
Despite her actions, she would still go through Dre's personal belongings without his knowledge

Dre neglectin' home, fuckin' 'round with' this bitch
Dre was neglecting his home and romantic relationship by engaging in sexual activities with another woman

Takin' 'er on vacates, pickin' 'er up for late steaks
Dre would take the other woman on vacations and meet up with her for late-night meals

Spent his whole check on 'er damn near every payday
Dre would spend almost his entire paycheck on the other woman, nearly every payday

Already fought 'Rome when he caught Dre at the strip club
Jerome had already confronted Dre after catching him at a strip club

China givin' 'em a lap dance gettin' 'er tits rubbed
China was performing a lap dance for someone at the strip club while they touched her breasts

Zipper down like he jus' finished gettin' his dicked sucked
Dre's zipper was down, suggesting that he had just received oral sex

'Rome threw his fist up, but Dre couldn't give a fuck
Jerome raised his fist in anger, but Dre didn't care about the potential consequences

Security kicked 'em out, speakers blastin' DJ Unk
The security staff forced them to leave the premises while music by DJ Unk played loudly

I seen Jerome runnin' over towards his trunk
Joe Budden witnessed Jerome quickly moving towards his car trunk

China came an' stopped it before Jerome popped it
China intervened and prevented Jerome from carrying out a violent act

Dre ain't learn nothin', kept creepin', he ain't stop shit
Dre didn't change his behavior and continued to engage in secretive activities, showing no sign of stopping

I tried to talk to 'em, he ain't heed the message
Joe Budden attempted to communicate with Dre and advise him, but Dre ignored the advice

She lookin' sickly skinny, exceedin' anorexic
China's appearance had deteriorated, and she appeared extremely thin to the point of being anorexic

Coughin' every minute, which ta' me kinda hinted
Her continuous coughing indicated to Joe Budden that something was wrong

If you gonna' have ya cape on (nigga) then take 'er to the clinic
Joe Budden suggested that if Dre wanted to portray himself as a hero, he should take China to the clinic for medical help

But he don't wann' listen an' know he never told me
Dre refused to listen and had never confided in Joe Budden about his situation

He bring that bitch everywhere, treat 'er like a trophy
Dre always brought the other woman with him and treated her as if she were a prized possession

I know dude, I already know that when he go fuck 'er
Joe Budden was aware of Dre's actions, knowing that when he had sex with the other woman

He wide-open, he divin' in no rubber
Dre engaged in unprotected sex with the other woman without using a condom

I seen this shit comin', call me a psychic
Joe Budden had predicted the consequences of Dre's actions and considered himself almost like a psychic

He try'nna keep tabs on 'er, bought 'er a Sidekick
Dre attempted to monitor the other woman's activities and bought her a Sidekick phone

(See) Every other night pick 'er up in that Hybrid
Dre would pick up the other woman in his Hybrid car every other night

You got a girl nigga, at least do it in private
Joe Budden criticized Dre for having a girlfriend and engaging in these actions openly instead of keeping it private

I mean he really treatin' Chyna like a fly chick
Dre was treating China as if she were very attractive or desirable

Talkin' dirty to 'er like, "Damn, love how you ride dick"
Dre would engage in explicit and vulgar conversations with the other woman, expressing his enjoyment of their sexual activities

She be on top screamin', "Daddy, how you like it"
During their sexual encounters, China would be on top and enthusiastically ask Dre how he was enjoying it

But not long after fount' out he had the virus
Soon after, she discovered that Dre had contracted a sexually transmitted disease

Now he's heated, angers deep seeded
Dre became angered and had deep-seated resentment or fury

He thinks she runnin' roun' fuckin' with' this deep secret
Dre believes that China is engaging in secretive sexual activities with another person

Not even thinkin' 'bout her man or her kids
In his anger, Dre completely disregards China's commitment to him and her responsibilities as a mother

Dre turned around and took her life for takin' his
In a fit of rage, Dre killed China in retaliation for the actions he believed she had taken against him

An' I ain't mad at'chu for spendin' a few chips
Joe Budden expresses no anger towards Dre for spending money

I thought'chu knew better than wifin' that loose bitch
However, Joe Budden expected Dre to have better judgment and not commit to a promiscuous woman like China

You never heard, "don't lay ya head where you shit"
Dre was warned against getting involved with someone from the same environment or industry

You got'cha shovel out, dug ya'self a huge ditch
Dre dug himself into a deep hole or difficult situation by getting involved with China

Dumb motherfucker', now you facin' two bids
Dre, who was acting foolishly, now finds himself facing potential legal consequences in addition to his relationship troubles

An' can't even run from the law, you too sick
Dre's illness prevents him from being able to evade or escape legal trouble

Jerome wasted no time in findin' where dude live
Jerome quickly located Dre's residence without delay

He came in blazin' that fifth in dudes ribs
Jerome entered the location and immediately fired a gun, hitting Dre in the ribs

That's two individuals gone for God's sake
As a result, two lives have been lost, serving as a tragic example

Jerome went to jail three days after her wake
Jerome was arrested and taken to jail just three days after China's funeral

Dre's girl at home, in shock; she can't believe it
Dre's girlfriend remained at home, in a state of disbelief and shock over what had transpired

Wishin' she would've told 'em 'bout her big, big secret
Dre's girlfriend wishes that China had revealed her significant secret to them before it was too late