Only human
Joe Budden Lyrics

Mic check, mic check
Testing the microphone before starting the song

One two, one two
Checking the audio levels

New Joe Budden!
Introducing himself as the artist

Uhh
Expressing a moment of contemplation

Please somebody help my soul
Desperately seeking assistance for his inner struggles

Talk to 'em (Talk to 'em)
Asking the audience to listen closely

I let the Man have a talk with the beast in me
Having a conversation with his inner demons and trying to find balance

I'm holding onto my last bit of decency
Trying to maintain his moral integrity

I need a vacay, a change of scenery
Craving a break from his current situation and surroundings

But mama said wherever I'mma go, I'm taking me with me
Acknowledging that personal issues cannot be escaped by simply changing locations

I told her shit is on my mind and it's been eating me
Opening up about the heavy burden he's been carrying

She got me pissing in a cup, she don't believe in me
Expressing frustration at being doubted and subjected to drug tests

It's not the drugs that got me out of my zone
Denying that substance abuse is responsible for his current state

Going days without eating, in a crowd I feel alone, mama
Describing the loneliness he feels even when surrounded by others

Then she ask why it seems I never sleep at night
Discussing his struggles with insomnia

I told her when I close my eyes my brain just keeps the fight
Admitting that his thoughts and worries consume him, making it difficult to sleep

She said my friends wanna have an intervention with me
Revealing that his loved ones are concerned about his well-being and want to help

I speak to niggas daily, that was never mentioned to me
Expressing surprise that his friends never mentioned the idea of an intervention before

She told me there's a higher power and a lower power
Discussing the concept of spiritual forces at play in his life

And that I'll die if I don't find the strength to overpower
Highlighting the importance of finding inner strength to overcome his challenges

Then I replied, 'well aren't we all'?
Reflecting on the universal human struggle and mortality

She said 'yeah, but that should be on God's terms, not yours'
Emphasizing the belief that one's fate should be determined by a higher power, not by one's own choices

My every thought is scary
Describing the overwhelming and distressing nature of his thoughts

And it makes it hard to breathe again
Expressing the suffocating effect his thoughts have on him

Like I'm blinded while I'm staring in the mirror
Feeling lost and unable to see clearly when confronted with his own reflection

Asking God to help me see again, please help me
Praying for divine guidance and clarity in his life

But He tells me I'm only human
Realizing and accepting his own limitations as a human being

And that I'll be back on my feet again, please help me
Finding hope in the belief that he will overcome his struggles and regain stability

But they act like I'm more than human
Expressing frustration at the unrealistic expectations placed on him

I prove them wrong again
Determined to defy those who doubt him and prove them wrong

Don't fault me I'm only human
Asking not to be judged for his humanity and the mistakes he may make

Tryin' to weather the storm
Struggling to endure a difficult period in his life

I thought that black cloud was gone
Believing that his troubles had passed, but realizing they still linger

It's been beside me all along, not the song
Discovering that his problems have been with him all along, not just a passing phase

I wanna sit in silence, don't speak for a minute
Craving peace and solitude, needing a moment of respite

Tired of being strong, please let me be weak for a minute
Feeling exhausted from constantly having to be strong, yearning for vulnerability and a break from the pressure

Kinda thought that my disease tried to kill your man first
Reflecting on his struggles with mental health and how it has affected his relationships

It was easy to get my hands on 30 milligram Percs, worse
Admitting to using prescription drugs as a coping mechanism, acknowledging the severity of the situation

Can't be depression, couldn't have it this long
Denying that his condition could simply be depression, suggesting that it must be something deeper and more complex

So many secrets I only told through a glass of Patron, my nigga
Revealing that he has been using alcohol as a means to open up about his hidden struggles

Speaking of secrets, that's when I got the Kaylintext
Referring to a message he received from someone named Kalyin, potentially containing confidential information

Read it and cried, couldn't believe what she was saying next
Reacting emotionally to the contents of Kalyin's message, feeling shocked and disbelieving

She said 'you're going through a lot
Sharing Kalyin's perspective that he is dealing with significant challenges

I'm hoping you ain't in the grave and dead
Expressing genuine concern for his well-being and hoping he is still alive

'Cause not too many people know your brain's a mess'
Acknowledging the hidden struggles he faces and recognizing that few people understand the depth of his mental health issues

Who knew that she was keeping track of it all?
Surprised to learn that Kalyin had been aware and keeping tabs on his struggles

I wrote back 'lol' but wasn't laughing at all
Using humor to mask his true emotions, but internally feeling far from laughter

I ain't tell her just the other day that that gun was in my lap
Admitting to a recent moment when he had contemplated suicide, holding a gun on his lap

Pen and pad in my hand, and I was writing a note
Describing the act of writing a suicide note in a moment of despair

Didn't get far, as soon as I wrote down 'mom' I just stopped
Revealing that he was unable to continue writing beyond the word 'mom', unable to imagine the pain it would cause her

Couldn't lie to her, couldn't figure out how to say bye to her
Feeling conflicted between his own pain and the love he has for his mother, unable to find a way to express his farewell

Couldn't explain the 'why' to her
Struggling with the reasons behind his own internal battles, unable to provide an explanation to his mother

Couldn't picture her getting a call or somebody saying her son had died to her
Unable to bear the thought of his mother receiving the devastating news of his death

And shortly after that my pastor called
Sharing that he received a phone call from his pastor shortly after contemplating suicide

Which at first I kinda thought it was weird
Admitting to feeling surprised by the timing and unexpected nature of the call

But that convo preserved me, 'bout God's grace and mercy
Reflecting on how the conversation with his pastor provided him with hope and a renewed sense of faith

He ain't even say goodbye, he said 'let us pray'
Noting the pastor's focus on prayer and seeking spiritual guidance rather than a farewell

And then he went into a prayer, gripped the phone, closed my eyes
Describing his response to the pastor's prayer, closing his eyes and holding onto the phone tightly

Just so happy he appeared, nigga shed another tear
Expressing gratitude and emotional relief that the pastor reached out to him, leading to tears of relief

Maybe he could sense that something had the god devoured
Speculating that the pastor may have had an intuition or understanding of the internal struggle he was facing

Just thankful he shed some light upon my darkest hour
Grateful for the pastor's guidance and support during his most difficult and vulnerable moment

All my thoughts are corrupt, this shit is whack
Describing his negative and disturbing thoughts as corrupt and expressing dissatisfaction with his current state

If everybody calls you a duck, will you just quack?
Questioning whether it's right to conform to others' expectations and criticisms

Guess a part of me really gives a fuck, way in the back
Acknowledging that deep down, he still cares about what others think, despite trying to appear indifferent

'Cause when I had that burner ready to bust, I didn't clap
Reflecting on a moment when he had a gun and contemplated violence, but ultimately chose not to act on it

Guess I'm insanity's definition
Suggesting that he embodies the definition of insanity due to his internal struggles

Trying to step over in sanity's repetition
Attempting to break free from the cycle of mental turmoil he experiences

But I can't it got me tripping
Admitting that he is unable to overcome his mental health issues and they continue to affect him

Whatever love we had was dead that night
Realizing that a past relationship was no longer alive or salvageable

Looking back, we both needed cooler heads that night
Reflecting on the fact that both parties involved needed to approach the situation with a calmer mindset

Was going off no sleep, eyes red that night
Explaining that he was sleep-deprived and emotionally exhausted during the altercation

While you was drunk texting me, I hope I read that right
Recalling a moment when his partner was intoxicated and sending him text messages, hoping he interpreted them correctly

You was beefing bout Giselle, beefing bout Alexa
Recounting an argument with his partner about other women named Giselle and Alexa

Suddenly you was jealous, must've thought that I had sexed her
Noting a sudden display of jealousy from his partner, assuming he had been intimate with the aforementioned women

I was laughing, thought it was funny
Admitting to finding the situation amusing rather than being genuinely involved with the women

Giselle's the homie, Alexa's twenty
Clarifying that Giselle is a friend and Alexa is a younger woman, debunking his partner's accusations

With hip withdrawals
Making a derogatory comment about his partner's dependency on hip-hop culture

Nothing 'bout your story shoulda been sticking at all
Believing that his partner's suspicions and accusations should not have held any weight or caused friction

I wouldn't dick her at all
Asserting that he never had any sexual involvement with the women in question

I'm guessing, maybe you were insecure and never knew me
Speculating that his partner's jealousy stemmed from insecurity and a lack of true understanding of his character

Was there for four months, yet you said this was a new me
Expressing confusion over his partner's perception that he had changed in just four months, despite their longer history together

In your head, guess the answer to this jealousy
Attributing his partner's jealousy to her own internal issues and insecurities

Was to turn around and try to make me jealous, B
Suggesting that his partner's response to jealousy was to deliberately try to make him jealous in return

But the part that you neglect
Pointing out a crucial aspect that his partner failed to consider

Was never mind jealousy, this was 'bout respect
Asserting that the underlying issue in their dispute was not mere jealousy, but a lack of respect

Y'all Instagramming pictures, trying to get me upset
Accusing his partner and the women involved of intentionally trying to provoke a reaction from him on social media

You turned that into a night we both would never forget
Highlighting how the situation escalated into a memorable and regrettable event for both parties

We both said some things we both probably regret
Admitting that both he and his partner exchanged hurtful words that they likely wish they could take back

You was lying to my face and them dots didn't connect, but cool
Realizing that his partner had been dishonest and deceitful, but remaining calm and collected about it

Only picked you up to try and talk sense into you
Explaining his initial intention of meeting up with his partner to resolve their issues and have a meaningful conversation

Now I'm fucking homeboy up, just off the principle
Revealing that he ended up getting into a physical altercation with someone due to a matter of principle

I guess he caught him self antagonizing me
Suggesting that the other person involved instigated the confrontation by provoking him

But he's a young nigga, that's no surprising me
Excusing the behavior of the other person due to their youth, implying that it's expected

Shit I done fucked some of the baddest hoes
Boasting about his past sexual encounters with attractive women

I left shorty weeks ago, you can have this ho
Informing his partner that he had ended a previous relationship weeks ago, effectively making the other person available

I guess the part where I lose
Acknowledging that he is at a disadvantage in the situation

Is now they got my face plastered all over the news, I'm being falsely accused
Expressing frustration and indignation at being wrongly accused and having his reputation affected

And I don't understand, was this all part of a plan?
Questioning the motives behind the false accusations and the impact it has had on his life

I guess I'll tell the whole truth when on the stand
Asserting that he will only reveal the complete truth when he is under oath

How you go and tell the cops I had guns in my house?
Expressing disbelief and anger at the false claim made to the police about him possessing firearms

Now they got a search warrant, just to come to my house
Revealing that law enforcement has obtained a search warrant to investigate his property based on the false information

Question, were your feelings worth taking my tomorrow's, kid?
Challenging his partner about whether her emotions and actions were worth jeopardizing his future

And you know Jersey gun laws, I'm talking hollow tips
Reminding his partner about the severity of gun laws in New Jersey and the potential consequences he could face

So you can tell them niggas you roll with whatever you want
Asserting that his partner can tell her associates whatever she wants, insinuating that the truth will come out eventually

But you and I know what's going on
Implying that both he and his partner are aware of the truth, despite any false narratives being presented

Nigga that whole night just replays in my mind
Recounting how the events of that night continuously replay in his thoughts

Your face is fine, this is a big waste of time
Commenting on his partner's physical appearance and expressing frustration at the entire situation

Let's get back to that jealousy
Refocusing the conversation on the theme of jealousy that started the conflict

Now you got a nigga facing three felonies
Lamenting the legal consequences he is now facing as a result of the false accusations

All for what, cause we were no longer dealing
Questioning the motives behind the false accusations, suggesting that they were made out of spite or revenge

You attack me, but I'm the villain, over a fucking iPhone and feelings
Expressing frustration at being portrayed as the bad guy, all over a trivial matter involving a phone and emotional reactions

Check, you never see me act like a jerk
Asserting that he does not typically behave in a disrespectful or aggressive manner

I know women will provoke you and get mad when it works
Recognizing that some women intentionally provoke men and then become angry when it elicits a reaction

Rather reserved and that always makes matters the worst
Explaining that his reserved nature tends to exacerbate conflicts, as his silence can be misconstrued

'Cause I go on about my business and not act like it hurts, but wait
Admitting that he tends to prioritize his own well-being and not openly show his pain, but then pausing to reconsider

So now the whole world is watching me get burned here
Realizing that his reputation is being tarnished and the public is observing his downfall

Which is fine, there's a lesson to be learned here
Accepting the situation as a valuable learning experience, even though it may be painful

Which is only fuck with strippers and the bartenders
Deciding to only engage in casual relationships with strippers and bartenders, as they may be less likely to create drama or false accusations

Anytime there's a pole in the bar centered
Referring to establishments where poles are present for dancing, indicating a preference for those environments

So even though it's from afar now
Recognizing that he has distanced himself from the situation and his former partner

I still wish you the best, I know your heart's tender
Expressing a desire for his partner's well-being, acknowledging their vulnerability

I'm sorry all, I just got my own scars to tend to
Apologizing for any pain caused, but emphasizing that he needs to prioritize his own healing

Signing off, truly yours, with love, God's sinner
Closing the song with a signature and acknowledging his own flaws and the need for forgiveness

My every thought is scary
Reiterating the fear and distress caused by his thoughts

And it makes it hard to breathe again
Describing how his thoughts create a suffocating and overwhelming atmosphere

Like I'm blinded while I'm staring in the mirror
Feeling lost and unable to see himself clearly when reflecting on his own image

Asking God to help me see again, please help me
Pleading for divine intervention and guidance to regain clarity in his life

But He tells me I'm only human
Being reminded of his own humanness and limitations by God

And that I'll be back on my feet again, please help me
Finding solace in the belief that he will overcome his struggles and find stability once more

But they act like I'm more than human
Expressing frustration at the high expectations placed on him by others, as if he is superhuman

I prove them wrong again
Determined to defy others' expectations and prove them wrong once more

Don't fault me, I'm only human
Requesting not to be judged harshly for his humanity and the mistakes he may make