Eddie Don't Like Furniture
John Hegley Lyrics
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(Na na, na na)
Or those little tables that you have to buy in threes
(Na na na na na na na)
The closest thing that Eddie's got
To an article of furniture's the cheeseboard
Eddie doesn't bolster the upholstery biz
There's a lot of furniture in the world
Eddie don't like furniture
Furniture makes Eddie really miserable
Eddie don't like furniture
(Na na, na na)
Eddie don't like furniture
(Na na na na na na na)
Eddie offers visitors a corner of the room
You get used to the distances between you pretty soon
Put everyone in corners though it isn't very easy
When you're trying to play pontoon
Or happy families
He once got in a rowing boat
They offered him a seat
It was just a strip of timber
But it wasn't up his street
He stood himself up in the boat
And made himself feel steady
Then he threw the plank onto the bank
And said furniture no thank you
Les meubles? Non, merci
(Ooooh ahh)
When it's on a bonfire furniture's fine
Any time that Eddie's gets the number 29 bus
Even if there's seats on top and plenty down below
Eddie always goes where the pushchairs go
Does Eddie like furniture?
I don't think so
Eddie don't like furniture
(Na na, na na)
Eddie don't like furniture
(Na na na na na na na)
Eddie quite likes cutlery
But Eddie don't like furniture
(Na na na na na na na na na na na)
If you go round Eddie's place
And have a game of hide and seek (a na na)
It isn't very long before you're found
(Nana na na na)
And in a fit of craziness
Eddie took the legs off his dachshund
To stop him dashing around
(Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na)
Eddie don't like furniture
(Na na, na na)
Eddie don't like furniture
(Na na na na na na na)
Eddie don't like furniture
(Na na, na na)
(Eddie don't like furniture)
(Na na na na na na na)
Eddie don't like furniture
(Na na, na na)
(Eddie don't like furniture)
(Na na na na na na na)
If you give him some for Christmas
He'll return it to ya
The lyrics to John Hegley's song "Eddie Don't Like Furniture" convey the strong aversion that Eddie, the singer, has towards furniture. The song humorously plays on Eddie's disdain for various types of furniture, highlighting his unique preferences and eccentric behavior.
In the first verse, Eddie is depicted as someone who rejects traditional furniture like sofas, settees, and tables. Instead, he finds solace in using a cheeseboard as his only article of furniture. This emphasizes Eddie's unconventional nature and his reluctance to conform to societal norms.
The second verse portrays Eddie's peculiar habits when it comes to accommodating visitors. He prefers to keep everyone in corners of the room, even during activities such as playing cards or board games. This showcases Eddie's desire for personal space and his resistance to being tied down by furniture. The anecdote about refusing a seat in a rowing boat further exemplifies his refusal to rely on furniture for comfort or support.
Throughout the song, the repeated refrain of "Eddie don't like furniture" reinforces his disinterest and even unhappiness with furniture. Despite encountering opportunities to engage with furniture, such as on the bus or at his own house, Eddie consistently chooses alternative options or unconventional methods. This underscores Eddie's unique perspective and the deep-rooted nature of his dislike for furniture.
The song concludes by emphasizing Eddie's strong aversion to furniture. Even if given furniture as a gift, he would promptly return it. This serves as a humorous reminder of Eddie's unwavering commitment to his personal preferences and his unwillingness to compromise.
Overall, the lyrics offer a lighthearted exploration of a character who rebels against societal expectations by rejecting conventional furniture. The song showcases Eddie's idiosyncrasies and provides an amusing commentary on the role of furniture in our lives, hinting at the idea that material possessions do not necessarily bring happiness.
Line by Line Meaning
Eddie don't go for sofas or setees
Eddie doesn't have an interest in sofas or settees.
Or those little tables that you have to buy in threes
Eddie isn't a fan of small tables that are typically sold in sets of three.
The closest thing that Eddie's got
To an article of furniture's the cheeseboard
The only thing resembling furniture that Eddie owns is a cheeseboard.
Eddie doesn't bolster the upholstery biz
Eddie doesn't contribute to the success of the upholstery business.
There's a lot of furniture in the world
But none of it's Eddie's
While there is plenty of furniture in the world, none of it belongs to Eddie.
Eddie don't like furniture
Furniture makes Eddie really miserable
Eddie dislikes furniture as it brings him significant misery.
Eddie offers visitors a corner of the room
When visitors come over, Eddie provides a corner of the room for them.
You get used to the distances between you pretty soon
Visitors quickly adjust to the spaces between them and Eddie in the corner.
Put everyone in corners though it isn't very easy
When you're trying to play pontoon
Or happy families
While having everyone in corners may be challenging, it becomes even more difficult when trying to play the card games pontoon or happy families.
He once got in a rowing boat
They offered him a seat
It was just a strip of timber
But it wasn't up his street
When Eddie got in a rowing boat, he was offered a seat made of a wooden plank, but it didn't suit his preferences.
He stood himself up in the boat
And made himself feel steady
Then he threw the plank onto the bank
And said furniture no thank you
Instead of sitting on the wooden plank, Eddie stood up in the boat to feel steadier. He then threw the plank onto the bank, rejecting furniture altogether.
Les meubles? Non, merci
In French, Eddie politely declines furniture by saying 'Les meubles? Non, merci.'
When it's on a bonfire furniture's fine
Eddie finds furniture acceptable when it is being burned on a bonfire.
Any time that Eddie's gets the number 29 bus
Even if there's seats on top and plenty down below
Eddie always goes where the pushchairs go
Whenever Eddie takes the number 29 bus, he chooses to go where the pushchairs are, even if there are empty seats elsewhere.
Does Eddie like furniture?
I don't think so
It is unlikely that Eddie has a liking for furniture.
Eddie quite likes cutlery
But Eddie don't like furniture
Eddie has an affinity for cutlery, but he still dislikes furniture.
If you go round Eddie's place
And have a game of hide and seek (a na na)
It isn't very long before you're found
When you visit Eddie's place and play hide and seek, it doesn't take very long for him to find you.
And in a fit of craziness
Eddie took the legs off his dachshund
To stop him dashing around
In a moment of madness, Eddie removed the legs from his dachshund to prevent it from running around.
Eddie don't like furniture
It is clear that Eddie does not like furniture.
If you give him some for Christmas
He'll return it to ya
If someone gives Eddie furniture as a gift for Christmas, he will promptly return it to them.
Contributed by Joseph V. Suggest a correction in the comments below.