If You Don
John Prine Lyrics


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If you were the woman and I was the man
Would I send you yellow roses
Would I dare to kiss your hand?
In the morning would I caress you
As the wind caresses the sand
If you were the woman and I was the man?

If I was the heart and you were the head
Would you think me very foolish
If one day I decided to shed
These walls that surround me
Just to see where these feelings led
If I was the heart and you were the head?

If I was the woman and you were the man
Would I laugh if you came to me
With your heart in your hand
And said, 'I offer you this freely
And will give you all that I can




Because you are the woman
And I am the man?'

Overall Meaning

The song "If You Don't Want My Love" by John Prine is a heartfelt exploration of love and gender role expectations. The lyrics present different scenarios where traditional gender roles are flipped in order to question what would happen if the roles were reversed.


The first verse is about a man and a woman in a romantic relationship, and the man questions how he would treat the woman if their roles were reversed. He asks if he would be romantic and affectionate towards her, sending her yellow roses and kissing her hand. He compares his actions to the gentle caress of the wind on sand, suggesting the intimacy of the relationship. This verse highlights the expectation that the man should be the pursuer and the romantic one in a heterosexual relationship.


The second verse switches to metaphorical roles of the heart and head, exploring the idea that emotions and rationality are often perceived as gendered traits, with women typically viewed as more emotional and men as more rational. The singer questions if his actions in pursuing his emotions would be considered foolish by the more rational party, suggesting the tension between the two opposing expectations.


In the final verse, the roles are again reversed, with the woman offering her love to a man who appears vulnerable and more emotional. The suggestion is that she would accept him with open arms, in the same way that she is seen as more emotional and accepting in their gender roles.


The song is a poignant reminder of the gendered expectations surrounding love and relationships, and the pressure to conform to traditional roles.


Line by Line Meaning

If you were the woman and I was the man
If our genders were reversed, would I treat you with the same care and respect?


Would I send you yellow roses
Would I go out of my way to make you feel loved and appreciated?


Would I dare to kiss your hand?
Would I be brave enough to show you physical affection and tenderness?


In the morning would I caress you
Would I wake up early just to be with you and show you affection?


As the wind caresses the sand
Would I be gentle and nurturing with you, like how the wind treats the sand?


If I was the heart and you were the head
If I were more emotional and you were more logical, would you accept me for who I am?


Would you think me very foolish
Would you judge or belittle me for showing my emotions?


If one day I decided to shed
If I opened up to you and showed you my vulnerable side, would you accept me?


These walls that surround me
The emotional barriers that I've put up to protect myself


Just to see where these feelings led
Would you be willing to explore a deeper, emotional connection with me?


If I was the woman and you were the man
If our genders were reversed, would you treat me with respect and show me emotional support?


Would I laugh if you came to me
Would I make fun of you if you showed me emotional vulnerability?


With your heart in your hand
Willing to show me your love and emotional vulnerability


'And I offer you this freely
Willing to give me your heart openly and honestly


And will give you all that I can
Willing to provide me with love and emotional support


Because you are the woman
Acknowledging my feminine qualities and showing me respect


And I am the man?'
Acknowledging your masculine qualities and showing you emotional support




Lyrics © O/B/O APRA/AMCOS

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