Poor Unfortunate Souls
Jonathan Young Lyrics

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
I acknowledge that my behavior hasn't always been pleasant

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
I've been called names that accurately describe my negative behavior

But you'll find that nowadays
My behavior has changed

I've mended all my ways
I've corrected my negative behavior

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
I've repented for my past actions and changed my ways

So, yeah, ha-ha-ha-haa...
I'm amused at how different I am now

I fortunately know a little magic
I possess a talent for magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed
I've always had this talent

And lately, please don't laugh
Recently, I've been using my magic in a different way

I use it on behalf
I use it for the benefit of

Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
People who are unhappy, alone, and hopeless come to me for help

Poor unfortunate souls
These people are unfortunate

In pain, in need
They're experiencing pain and are in need

This one longing to be thinner
One of them wishes to be thinner

That one wants to get the girl
Another wishes to attract a girl

And do I help them?
Do I help them? Yes

Yes, indeed
Absolutely

So sad, so true
It's unfortunate, but true

They come flocking to my cauldron
They come to me for help

Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
They plead for me to cast spells for them

Now it's happened once or twice
It's happened a couple of times

Someone couldn't pay the price
Someone couldn't pay the cost

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
I had to punish them

Yes I've had an odd complaint
I've faced an occasional negative review

But on the whole I've been a saint
Overall, I'm a good person who helps people

Well the men up there don't like a lot of blabber
Men in power don't like women who talk too much

They think a girl who gossips is a bore
They find women who gossip uninteresting

Yes on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word
In this society, it's expected that women will be seen and not heard

After all my dear, what's idle babble for?
There's no point to talking about nothing

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
Men are not impressed by a woman's ability to hold a conversation

True gentlemen avoid it when they can
True gentlemen don't indulge in idle chatter

They dote and swoon and fawn
They shower her with attention

On a lady who's withdrawn
On a woman who is reserved

It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man
A woman who keeps her thoughts to herself will attract a man

Come on you poor unfortunate soul
You, who are unfortunate,

Go ahead - make your choice
Make your decision

I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
I'm busy and don't have unlimited time

It won't cost much - just your voice!
To get what you want, all you have to do is give up your ability to speak

If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
If you want to achieve your goal

You've got the pay the toll
There's always a cost

Take a gulp and take a breath
Prepare yourself

And go ahead and sign the scroll
Sign the contract

Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
Successful deal, boys

The boss is on a roll
I'm doing well

With these poor unfortunate souls
By taking advantage of these unfortunate people