You're Only Second Rate
Jonathan Young Lyrics


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I must admit, your parlor tricks are amusing
I bet you've got a bunny under your hat
Now here's your chance to get the best of me
Hope your hand is hot
Come on, clown, let's see what you've got

You can try and slam me with your hardest stuff
But your double whammy isn't up to snuff
I'll set the record straight
You're simply out of date
You're only second rate

You think your cat's a meanie but your tiger's tame
You've got a lot to learn about the genie game
So for your education I'll reiterate
You're only second rate

Men cower at the power in my pinky
My thumb is number one on every list
But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible
Put me to the test
I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise
Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size
I'll make a great escape
It's just a piece of cake
You're only second rate
You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough
And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up
Let me pontificate upon your sorry state
You're only second rate

Zaba-caba-dabra
Granny's gonna grab ya
Alakazam-da-mus
And this thing's bigger than the both of us

So spare me your tremendous scare
You look horrendous in your underwear
I can hardly wait to discombobulate
Send ya back and packing in a shipping crate




You'll make a better living with a spinning plate
You're only second rate

Overall Meaning

In "You're Only Second Rate," Jonathan Young is singing about his prowess and superiority over his opponent in a magical duel. The lyrics are full of insults and jabs at the other person's lack of skill and experience compared to his own. In the opening lines, he acknowledges that his opponent may have some tricks up their sleeve, but ultimately they will not be enough to take him down. He mocks them for being out of date and not knowing enough about the "genie game," a reference to the magic of Aladdin.


Young continues to belittle his opponent, claiming that he is invincible and that they should try to prove him wrong. He goads them into trying their hardest, promising that he will make a great escape because defeating them will be a piece of cake. He then goes on to use magic words and phrases like "zaba-caba-dabra" and "Alakazam-da-mus" to make fun of his opponent's lack of skill.


The final lines of the song are particularly insulting, as Young suggests that his opponent is so bad that they would be better off being a street performer with a spinning plate instead of trying to do magic. Overall, "You're Only Second Rate" is a song about one person's superiority over another in a magical duel, full of clever insults and put-downs.


Line by Line Meaning

I must admit, your parlor tricks are amusing
I acknowledge the fact that your simple, amateur magic tricks are pleasant to watch


I bet you've got a bunny under your hat
I reckon you have a rabbit hidden underneath your magical hat


Now here's your chance to get the best of me
You can try to win against me while I give you an opportunity


Hope your hand is hot
Good luck, I hope you have some good tricks up your sleeve


Come on, clown, let's see what you've got
I challenge you to show me what you're capable of, clown


You can try and slam me with your hardest stuff
Feel free to put your strongest efforts to bring me down


But your double whammy isn't up to snuff
However, your powerful moves are not good enough to compete with me


I'll set the record straight
I will tell you the truth and not let you believe you're better than you actually are


You're simply out of date
You are old-fashioned and not up to date with current magic techniques


You're only second rate
You are not good enough and only come in second place


You think your cat's a meanie but your tiger's tame
You believe your cat is ferocious, but your tiger is docile


You've got a lot to learn about the genie game
You lack the expertise to play the game of genies


So for your education I'll reiterate
Let me teach you by repeating myself


Men cower at the power in my pinky
People are scared of my magical abilities, even with just my pinky finger


My thumb is number one on every list
My thumb is the most accomplished and skilled across all magicians


But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible
If you still don't believe that I am unbeatable


Put me to the test
Challenge me to prove myself


I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest
I want to end this competition between us and prove my supremacy


Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise
Try your most potent magical spell on me


Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size
Trap me, weaken me, and bring me to my knees


I'll make a great escape
However, I will manage to break free and escape


It's just a piece of cake
It's going to be easy for me


You're only second rate
You are below average and still not as good as me


You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough
You are aware that your magic fails to measure up to mine


And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up
Your incoherent and nonsensical tricks are ineffective


Let me pontificate upon your sorry state
Let me elaborate on how insignificant you are compared to me


Zaba-caba-dabra
A meaningless, nonsensical magical phrase


Granny's gonna grab ya
An attempt to use a childish rhyme to scare


Alakazam-da-mus
Another gibberish, meaningless phrase


And this thing's bigger than the both of us
This competition is larger and more dominant than we are


So spare me your tremendous scare
Stop trying to scare me with your false tricks


You look horrendous in your underwear
You appear disturbing and unimpressive without your costume


I can hardly wait to discombobulate
I can't wait to disconcert and disorient you


Send ya back and packing in a shipping crate
I'll send you away like a package in a box


You'll make a better living with a spinning plate
You'll be more successful performing a simple trick with a spinning plate


You're only second rate
You can't compete with me and are still not as good




Writer(s): Kevin Edward Quinn, Randy Petersen

Contributed by Jacob M. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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