Meet Jonwayne, a baby-faced white kid from the LA suburb of La Habra, who's been a fixture at Low End Theory long before he was old enough to drink. The 28 year-old rapper/producer got his start early, writing his first raps and recording his first beats while still in high school. Back then, he was a football-playing poetry-writing theater geek. The football part made sense; both his older brothers were varsity players, and their coaches knew him since he was a kid. But by the end of his sophomore year, the allure of jockstraps and pushups had waned, and Jonwayne (then still known as Jon Wayne) removed himself from the roster.
Fearful that they had a slacker son on their hands, his parents presented Jon with two options: find a job, or get some kind of productive hobby. The choice was easy—he got involved with the theater program at his school and attended the Young Artists Workshop, where he discovered a love of spoken word performance. Around the same time, he found his poetic muse; a girl he had a crush on was into poetry, and he wanted to impress her. "I was having all kinds of frustrating problems with raging hormones and trying to express myself. I was a mess," he says. "So [writing poetry] was really helpful. It wasn't necessarily a ruse—it just started as this half-assed thing and then it turned into something that I did really heavily for the next few years."
Writing turned to rapping at the age of 17, when a crew from West Covina at the Young Artists Workshop made an impression on him. Every day they'd bring over a workstation to make beats and Wayne would listen to them rap. "I was kinda tagging along, being the token white kid of the group, because, you know they needed one of those guys in there," he says, recalling how they'd encourage him to start rapping. "I started developing a style, but I wasn't comfortable recording it because they all had a certain aesthetic, and they pushed a certain vibe on everyone." After saving up enough cash to buy a cheap microphone, he left the group and started recording on his own. "I was kinda feeling like I was going somewhere else."
That somewhere else turned out to be Low End Theory, where he found a community of more like-minded artists such as dublab and Low End Theory-affiliated Kutmah. Wayne remembers the night they met very clearly: it was in early 2009, and the night's guests were Dibiase, Devonwho and Mono/Poly—a lineup that can easily draw a line stretching around the block in 2012, but which still allowed for some elbow room on the dance floor at the time. Dibia$e, Wayne's friend and mentor, encouraged him to bring a stack of CDs of his beats and hand them out to select tastemakers in the crowd—including Kutmah.
"Dibiase was like, 'You need to give him something.' So I did, even though I didn't know who he was at the time. He said he wanted to give me something too. He gave me this Sacred Geometry Mix and that was it! He was the first person to ever put me on." Kutmah was working at Poo-Bah Records at the time, and he started playing Wayne's CD there. DJ Nobody—Low End curator and fellow Poo-Bah employee—took notice and asked him for some more beats. After passing along his latest work, Nobody started playing them out during his sets. Soon after, Wayne booked his first Low End gig, becoming one of the youngest artists to grace its tiny stage.
"Elvin [DJ Nobody] had heard my music before, but it wasn't until he heard me rap for Dibia$e that he was like, 'Oh, OK—let's do this,'" he recalls. He invited Wayne over to his house to put together a set. Wayne brought over five CDs worth of material, and after spending a day sorting through the tracks, 30 beats made it onto his 404. "Elvin helped create it. He knew what would work there, so he picked out my set for me … you gotta be inducted into the family, and they took me in."
On the night of his Low End debut, it was pouring rain outside, and it was the first and last time he can remember ever being nervous before a show. "I had envisioned that night for a long time—it'll be packed, I'll subject these people to my shit for half-an-hour and it'll be dope. And then it started raining, and I was like, 'Ah, fuck. This is my one chance and it's not gonna go like I expected.' I didn't want to fuck up. Two hours before go time, I told Elvin, 'I don't think I can do this shit.' I thought it would be awful."
The rain had thinned out the crowd from its normal sweat-soaked, sardine-packed population of beat obsessives. But Wayne found himself rising to the challenge, transformed, swept away with his audience like the water guzzling through the venue's outside patio. "I can safely say it changed the course of my life. I think it was one of Elvin and Kevin's first experiences seeing the next generation—kids taking what they were doing and absorbing their aesthetic and building on it."
Wayne's second big break came shortly thereafter. Early one morning in May 2010, Kutmah woke up to the sound of police knocking at his door. He immediately knew what was going on; born and raised in Brighton, England and brought to Los Angeles at age 12, Kutmah lacked legal-residency status, and it was only a matter of time before someone noticed. Within minutes, he was handcuffed and detained by Department of Homeland Security authorities for failing to honor a voluntary deportation notice that he had signed over a decade earlier.
While he was locked up in a high security prison in New Mexico awaiting deportation, a furious local effort amassed to raise money for his mounting legal fees and raise awareness about the case. About two months in, as deportation loomed, Kutmah asked Wayne to host a benefit show produced by screen-printing collective Hit+Run. He had never performed at a Hit+Run event before—they didn't even really know who he was at the time—but they added him to the night's stacked lineup, which featured Stones Throw's giants like resident funkmaster Dam-Funk, smooth soul crooner Mayer Hawthorne and founding father Peanut Butter Wolf.
"For him to ask me to host, that was a big thing. For me to have the opportunity to share the stage with all these people that I admired and wanted to work with, that was great. I secretly think he knew that would be a great situation for me to be in."
During Dam-Funk's set, Wayne finally caught up with Stones Throw Records label head Wolf, a man he'd been chasing since the days of MySpace. "When I first started making music, the Stones Throw library—the funky, soulful aesthetic—was a very loud template for me," Wayne says. "My music was very derivative at first but then I started to find my voice and ended up going away from them and, in the process, attracted Stones Throw to me." He inked a three-album deal with the label this past January, shortly after his 21st birthday.
Before joining the Stones Throw family, Wayne already had a recording system nailed down: he used to drag a synthesizer, his 404 and some turntables into the bathroom and set up shop: the "synthesizer sits on top of pulled-out drawers, 404 goes on one side of the sink and a turntable goes on the other side." Any extra gear ended up on stacks of books. Wayne would sit in the bathroom composing tracks and beats, his eight-track resting on a trash can beside him, escaping to his bedroom when he needed inspiration for his rap lyrics. It was in the bathroom that he produced what later became his Alpha Pup debut, Bowser, a collection of sample-free beats blending the Warp Records' distinct brand of IDM with video game-influenced melodies. Deeper, darker instrumentals followed with his sophomore album The Death of Andrew, released on Alpha Pup late last year, along with several essential, self-released mixtapes.
The success of Bowser allowed Wayne to graduate from his commode. He now works out of the Stones Throw headquarters in Highland Park, in a studio he helped build with Peanut Butter Wolf and close friend/collaborator Jonti, a fellow Stones Throw signee. At last, Jonwayne finally ended up where he was always meant to be: right next to the ever-elusive, always-brilliant producer Madlib, on the roster of one of the most innovative hip-hop labels in the world.
"I had dreamed for years about coming here and meeting these people and seeing where it all started, [but] as a visitor... rather than a welcomed guest! It goes to show that if you want to grab someone's attention, you literally have to take them by the collar and be like, 'You're fucking listening to me now.' There's no other way."
Releases:
Jonwayne released his debut instrumental album Bowser on Alpha Pup Records on April 19, 2011, the mixtape How Stella Got Her Groove Back in July 2011, the compilation mixtape Thanks, Bro in August 2011, and the mixtape I Don't Care through Wedidit in September 2011. Jonwayne released his second proper album, The Death of Andrew, on October 25, 2011 on Alpha Pup Records. Shortly afterwards he signed to Stones Throw Records, on which he released the beat tape Oodles of Doodles in March 2012. Later that same month, he self-released a mixtape titled This Is False. He released a mixtape titled Jonwayne Fucks Disney on May 29, 2012. Most recently he released Casette (a limited edition 24-minute rap tape available only on casette) through Stones Throw on July 31, 2012.
That's O.K.
Jonwayne Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
My mind's blank anyway, I never have a thing to say
And if I do, I write a song about it
This ain′t therapy, it's too crowded
Personality drowned out and stomped and soundless
Maimed even if you claimed style is sound bitch
Might as well be talkin' to myself up here
You never listen
So I clear these clips and hope the recoil kicks
I ain′t trying to appease spoiled kids
See them down, boil with the boy skull rapping that hamlet
They know that I′m ill, can't stand it
I don′t fuck with the gang, can't stand it
I′m too fat for these hoops, they demandin'
I′m not a stand in, I'm my own man
(Yeah) I'm my own man
You better watch your mouth
′Cause I′m my own man, I ain't
Holdin′ back for no one else
I'ma show you who I am with my own hands
I′m a cold man, own man
I'ma do it my way ′til I'm an old man
You better feel what I say from my soul, man
I'm my own man, my own man
That′s okay, my mind′s blank anyway
I never have a thing to say
And if I do, I ain't tellin′ you I been silent
For a minute, growin' up with my nephews
I was an alcoholic quitting cold Turkey in the cabin
When at home, I had to clean out the cabinet
When at home, I had to clean out the contacts
Just some people who would never call me back
Then I drop 100 pounds like a lad In a lap dance, magic up in my pen
Y′all are writing something tragic stanzas, can't stand up, re-branded
Damage, asinine, anti-aspirin outlandish rapping
Only for the cash mercenary ass
Can′t hold a damn candle to a light bulb
BING, Google and Bing me, king me
If you wanna compete
Boy, you catch me in a different kind of scenery, singin'
I'm my own man, own man
You better watch your fuckin′ mouth
′Cause I'm my own man, I ain′t
Holdin' back for no one else
I′ma show you who I am with my own hands
I'm a cold man, own man
I′ma do it my way 'til I'm an old man
You better feel what I say from my soul, man
I′m my own man, own man
That′s okay, my mind's blank anyway
I never have a thing to say, and if I do
I′ll let the city sing it
Mmm... You hear that?
That's the sound of us, baby
3:37 in the morning
Rolling down fourth street
The snores, and the hearts
The quiet pin drops, stillness
Like pastries behind the glass
Mmm, what a sweet melody
Swelling the empty of night time
That′s why I feel like I'm the only man alive
Maybe I am, that′s why I write all these things
You know?
Away from all the snakes who bite
And the biters who snake
Away from the screams
And the pressure
And the invisible favors
Away from homie prophecies
And hindsight heroes
Away from you, really, yeah
It's lonely, but maybe I'm all I need
You know?
Me and my crew, Authors, here
In a silent way, yeah, in a silent way
The song "That's O.K." by Jonwayne, in its entirety, is about the artist's struggle with identity. Throughout the song, he repeatedly emphasizes the idea that he is his "own man," and that he doesn't need validation or acceptance from anyone else. Rather, he is content with being alone, writing down his thoughts and feelings, and expressing them through his music.
At the beginning of the song, Jonwayne mentions that his mind is blank and that he never has anything to say. This sets the stage for the rest of the song, where he goes on to talk about how he doesn't need to say anything to anyone, because he is content with himself. He also elaborates on this idea by mentioning that he has had to deal with various struggles in his life, including alcoholism, and that he has come out on the other side as a stronger person.
Throughout the song, Jonwayne employs various metaphors to drive home his point. For example, he talks about writing tragic stanzas, while other rappers can't hold a candle to a lightbulb. He also mentions that he is like a pastry behind glass, in that he is sweet but unapproachable. All of these metaphors serve to illustrate the idea that Jonwayne is his own person, and that he is perfectly fine with that.
Overall, "That's O.K." is a powerful and moving song that speaks to anyone who has ever struggled with self-identity. The song is a testament to the power of self-acceptance and the importance of being true to oneself, no matter what others may think.
Line by Line Meaning
That's okay
It's alright, I don't mind
My mind's blank anyway
I don't have any thoughts to share
I never have a thing to say
I rarely speak
And if I do, I write a song about it
If I do have something to say, I express it through music
This ain't therapy, it's too crowded
I'm not looking for counseling, there are too many distractions
Personality drowned out and stomped and soundless
My identity has been suppressed and silenced
Maimed even if you claimed style is sound bitch
Even if you think your way is good, it can still be damaging
Might as well be talkin' to myself up here
It feels like no one is listening
You never listen
You don't pay attention
What you fear is if you listen, you might hear some shit
You avoid listening because you might not like what you hear
So I clear these clips and hope the recoil kicks
I release my thoughts and hope they have an impact
I ain't trying to appease spoiled kids
I'm not trying to please people who are entitled
See them down, boil with the boy skull rapping that hamlet
I see people struggling with life, only rapping about negative things
They know that I'm ill, can't stand it
They recognize my talent but don't like it
I don't fuck with the gang, can't stand it
I don't associate with certain groups because I don't like them
I'm too fat for these hoops, they demandin'
I am not the right fit for certain expectations
I'm not a stand in, I'm my own man
I am not a replacement, I am unique
You better watch your mouth
Be careful what you say
'Cause I'm my own man, I ain't
I am independent and make my own choices
Holdin' back for no one else
I don't hold back for anyone else's benefit
I'ma show you who I am with my own hands
I will prove my identity through my actions
I'm a cold man, own man
I am distant but self-reliant
I'ma do it my way 'til I'm an old man
I will continue to live life on my terms
You better feel what I say from my soul, man
You should listen to my words with empathy
That's okay, my mind's blank anyway
It's still fine that I don't have anything to say
I never have a thing to say, and if I do
Even if I do have something to say
I'll let the city sing it
I will let the music speak for itself
You hear that?
Do you hear that?
That's the sound of us, baby
That's the sound of people coming together
Rolling down fourth street
Driving through the city
The snores, and the hearts
The sounds of sleeping and feeling
The quiet pin drops, stillness
The peacefulness of the moment
Like pastries behind the glass
Describing the beauty but unattainability of something
Swelling the empty of night time
Filling the void of nighttime with sound
That's why I feel like I'm the only man alive
Feeling isolated in the moment
Maybe I am, that's why I write all these things
Perhaps I am alone, and that's why I write music
Away from all the snakes who bite
Avoiding those who are deceitful
And the biters who snake
Avoiding those who copy others
Away from the screams
Avoiding loud and stressful situations
And the pressure
Avoiding feeling overwhelmed
And the invisible favors
Avoiding expectations placed on me by others
Away from homie prophecies
Avoiding unrealistic expectations from friends
And hindsight heroes
Avoiding those who claim to have all the answers
Away from you, really, yeah
Avoiding specific person or people
It's lonely, but maybe I'm all I need
It's lonely, but I am self-sufficient
Me and my crew, Authors, here
My group of friends, called Authors, is here for support
In a silent way, yeah, in a silent way
Quietly and peacefully
Writer(s): Maurizio Seymandi, Iliano Casini
Contributed by Reagan K. Suggest a correction in the comments below.