Creation Or A Stain
Joseph Arthur Lyrics

I got a god in my head
There's a voice in my head that acts like a God.

Tells me that I'm crazy
This voice often reminds me of my insanity.

Got a god in my head
The voice is always present in my mind.

Telling me I'm crazy
It tells me that I need to be treated like a mad person.

An angry little god punching all my scars
This voice is always judgmental and easily gets angry, causing me pain.

Another little god
There are multiple voices in my mind that act arrogantly.

Tells me that I'm lazy
One of the voices suggests that I am lazy and worthless.

A useless piece of shit with no love to give at all now
It tells me that I am worthless and incapable of giving love or being loved anymore.

And the smallest god there
One of the voices is the tiniest but still present.

Thinks that I'm the greatest
This voice encourages me that I am the best and can never be replaced.

Tells me no one else could be as good as me.
This voice tries to make me egoistic and believes that no other person is better than me.

I listen to them all, I was a disc jockey to consequences
I listen to all these voices in my head and their negative consequences like a disc jockey.

Little propagandist selling misery
These voices are like propaganda that advocates and promotes misery in me.

I built the tune and I got to get away
I created these voices and built them to suit my preferences, but now I want to escape from them.

Assure me that it wouldn't do to [unintelligible, 5 syllables]
These voices assure me that doing something beneficial for myself or others would not be useful.

No one sees me down there and no one's getting in
These voices keep me locked in my mind, and I isolate myself from the world.

I got a [unintelligible, 13 syllables]
This line seems to be unintelligible.

I drink and shoot and smoke until the only voice I hear
I consume a lot of alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes to the point that only the negative voices remain.

Is the one telling me those other people, don't let anybody near
The only voice left tells me to avoid other people and be alone.

And now the telephone is ringing, the walls are falling down
I am receiving a call and my world is crumbling around me.

The sea-birds are singing, my soul's nowhere around
I feel disoriented and detached from myself while everything else seems normal.

I have made myself a mai-tai
I have made myself a tropical drink with rum and pineapple juice.

I have damned myself again
I have put myself in a bad situation once again.

I have eaten all my children, I have tightened up my skin
This line is metaphorical and suggests that I have exhausted my resources and tried to preserve my youth artificially.

I'm a walking crucifixion, I'm a fucked-up memory
I feel like I am suffering and experiencing intense emotional pain and trauma.

Consuming all that's left, I'm my mother's misery
I am consuming the little that's left in my life and feel like I am the manifestation of my mother's misery.

I'm sucking on Satan's tit
I am feeling like I am getting influenced by the devil.

She's milking me her poison flow
The devil's influence is making things worse for me.

I drink until I'm convinced there's no place left to go
I drink to the point that I convince myself that there are no other options in my life left to explore.

You know there's no place left to go
I have convinced myself that there are no other options to explore.

So I drink until the pain is dry
I drink until there's no more pain left to feel.

I know it never is
But I'm aware that the pain never goes away completely.

Sometimes tho, I guess I think that I'm the best
Sometimes, I think that I am the most exceptional and unbeatable person.

Until the morning after when I wake up with the guilt
But the next morning, I wake up feeling guilty for my actions.

Of burning down all the things my sacred hands have built
I feel responsible for destroying everything that I have built with my own hands, things that were once important to me.

And throwing up all the love you know I never felt
I realize that I have never felt love from others, and I feel nauseous at the thought of it.

Let's make our tortured Romeo's
A reference to Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' where both characters suffer and die tragically.

Personal health can be beat
Sometimes, we hurt ourselves and it reflects in our physical health.

You bring it on yourself
It's our own fault if we bring harm to ourselves.

Burn out when you might peak
Sometimes, people burn out even when they are at their best in life.

The Holy Ghost is exiled from your heart and from your soul
I am feeling like I have lost my connection with God.

If you control it it's no fun, and if it's fun you've lost control
If we control all our actions, it is not enjoyable anymore. But, if it's fun, it means we have lost self-control.

Your past is plagiarism
Your past is a copy that gets repeated over and over again.

yous symbols have dried up
Your symbols, values, and meanings have exhausted and are irrelevant now.

Your corruption's as confused
The negativity and the corruption in your life are scattered and difficult to understand.

As old lovers that you've dumped
The past relationships that you have ended are bittersweet memories that will haunt you.

Like some hidden toxic fume
This negativity is like an invisible poison that affects everything in your life.

Your soul dissipates
Your soul is gradually fading away and losing its essence.

It's the ozone of guilty acts
The guilt and shame of past actions are polluting your soul like a damaged ozone layer.

Eroded by all the things you hate
All the negativity, hate, and anger in your life are wearing you down physically and mentally.

There's bodies dancing, crazed
People around you are acting wildly and without control.

Sexual heat
The atmosphere is full of erotic energy and attraction.

Grazing from the orchard where starving people eat
People are trying to enjoy and indulge in things they are not supposed to because they are hungry for something better.

Her great weight overwhelms, at times bodies fall
The weight of the negativity and the guilt in life can be so overwhelming that it physically affects our human bodies.

Bankrupt from the beaten
People have exhausted all their resources and energy due to repeated failures.

No no there's no one you can trust
There is no one trustworthy enough to share your problems with.

Some say the solution's locked in the sweat-box
Some people believe that the solution to life's problems is hard work and determination.

I wouldn't know
But I am not sure if I agree with that or not.

I've never been there, I sold my keys to get a ride
I have never experienced success in my life, and I have sold my opportunities to others for a chance to survive.

We sing along to forgotten AM radio stations
We pass our time listening to old, forgotten music on the radio.

And drink expensive wine, toast the friends that we left hanging
We drink to forget our problems and raise a glass to the friends who betrayed us.

Like prisoners in conceit
We are like prisoners because of our arrogance and pride.

We hurry through the cracks
We keep ourselves busy, moving from one task to another, trying to forget our problems.

I know for sure don't trust no one who says' they've got you back
I learned not to trust people who claim to have my back.

The windows all explode
The building's windows are shattering because of intense pressure.

Outside the noise pollution blooms
It's beyond the building where the noise and negativity grow.

Everyone's now hidden like cockroaches in dark rooms
People are hiding from the consequences of their actions, like insects hiding in the dark.

I've been brought back from the dead before, so anything can happen
I have had experiences where I was saved from death or a bad situation, so anything is possible.

Obsessed with tragic [unintelligible, 5 syllables] like Eric Clapton
I am fascinated with stories of tragedy and melancholy like Eric Clapton's.

These are my wild years, I'm trying to enjoy the pain
I am in a phase of life when I am exploring wild and self-destructive experiences, trying to enjoy the pain it brings.

The euphoria of dying
I feel an unusual sense of joy in embracing death and destruction.

Toxins wrestle in my brain
The negative influences are fighting for control inside my head.

We've all been leaves of corruption
We all have had moments when we were corrupt or made wrong choices.

We've all been spiders on the wall
We have all been in situations where we feel trapped, helpless, and hiding from the world.

Waiting for a hand to smash us or the bloom of light to fall
We are waiting for someone to save us or for a moment of hope to arrive.

Is this guilt of just self-hatred
I am questioning whether I feel guilty or if it's just a deep sense of self-hatred.

Only wild, uncontained
This feeling of guilt or self-hatred is wild and uncontrollable in me.

Leaking from a broken soul
This negative energy is the result of a damaged and broken soul.

Is this creation or a stain
I am not sure if these experiences are my creative expression or just a blemish on my life's story.