Big Ten
Judge Dread Lyrics


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Two old ladies were sitting on the grass
One shoved her finger up the other ones Oi!
I had a girl the other night
Just as the day was dawning
A crowd came by and they joined in
And our case comes up in the morning
(Well there's no sweat anyway I'm the
Judge. I'll try 'em one like the other)
Dread and I were sitting in the bath
Dread blew off and made I laugh
(Ooh look, bubbles)
Old Mother Riley she got drunk
She fell on the fire
And she burnt her Oi!
(I reckon it must have been too much Guinness. Silly old cow!)
In days of old, when knights were bold
And ladies weren't invented
A knight drilled holes in telegraph poles
And he had to be contented
(If he'd have asked me I'd have give him a tin opener)
A girl who lives next door to me
Sunbathes on the lawn
I'd be over the garden fence
And I'd always get the (Horn Sound)
(Tally-Ho!)
My latest girl is slightly deaf
With her it's never heaven
Her conversation's rubbish
So I always cop a deaf'un
(Well ya comin' darlin'?
Ey?
That's what they say, too much makes ya deaf
What?)




Well I think I'll got take the wife's tights off
They're making my legs itch!

Overall Meaning

Judge Dread's song Big Ten is a classic example of the type of risqué and humorous music that was popular in the 1970s. The lyrics of the song are packed with double entendres, puns and innuendoes that are designed to make listeners smile or even chortle with laughter. In the first verse, two old ladies sitting on the grass are interrupted by a lewd incident involving a finger, which leads the judge to joke about presiding over the case the following morning. The second verse presents a comical situation where a man and his friend are sitting in the bathtub, and one of them passes gas, prompting laughter and giggles.


The third verse tells the story of Old Mother Riley, who got drunk and fell on the fire, burning her “oi!” (ostensibly a euphemism for either her bum or her private parts). In the fourth verse, the judge muses about the times when knights drilled holes in telegraph poles and mentions that he would have given the knight a tin opener if he had asked. This is followed by another sexual pun in the fifth verse, where the singer talks about the girl next door sunbathing on the lawn and him always getting the horn sound. The last verse is about the singer's latest girl who is slightly deaf, and how he copes with her lousy conversation by always pretending to be deaf himself. Throughout the song, Judge Dread sings in a Jamaican patois, adding an extra layer of humor and charm to the lyrics.


Line by Line Meaning

Two old ladies were sitting on the grass
Two elderly women were seated on a patch of green


One shoved her finger up the other ones Oi!
One of them inserted their finger into the rectum of the other, causing her to exclaim 'Oi!'


I had a girl the other night
Recently, I had a female companion


Just as the day was dawning
At the precise moment when daylight was breaking over the horizon


A crowd came by and they joined in
A multitude of individuals passed by and participated in a certain activity


And our case comes up in the morning
Our trial or hearing will occur in the morning


(Well there's no sweat anyway I'm the Judge. I'll try 'em one like the other)
This does not concern me, as I am the Judge and will mete out the same punishment for all


Dread and I were sitting in the bath
Myself and Dread were enjoying the comforts of a bath


Dread blew off and made I laugh
Dread released gas, much to my amusement


(Ooh look, bubbles)
Expression of a simple delight upon seeing bubbles


Old Mother Riley she got drunk
An elderly woman, Mother Riley, consumed an excessive quantity of alcohol


She fell on the fire
As a result of her inebriation, she collapsed and landed onto the flames


And she burnt her Oi!
This caused her to suffer burns and vocalise an exclamation of pain


(I reckon it must have been too much Guinness. Silly old cow!)
I suspect that the cause of her drunkenness was a surplus of Guinness, therefore she is foolish


In days of old, when knights were bold
During a bygone era, when chivalrous knights were valiant


And ladies weren't invented
When the concept of women did not exist


A knight drilled holes in telegraph poles
A knight drilled apertures into telegraph poles


And he had to be contented
He had to be satisfied with his solitary task


(If he'd have asked me I'd have give him a tin opener)
I would have provided him with a tool that would have facilitated his task, had he requested it


A girl who lives next door to me
A female in close proximity to my residence


Sunbathes on the lawn
She exposes herself to the sun on the grassy area nearby


I'd be over the garden fence
I would traverse across the fence that separates our gardens


And I'd always get the (Horn Sound)
As a consequence, I would always be rewarded with a car horn honking sound


(Tally-Ho!)
An expression of enthusiasm, usually used during hunting activities


My latest girl is slightly deaf
My newest romantic partner has minor hearing loss


With her it's never heaven
With her, it is never as euphoric as I would like


Her conversation's rubbish
The topics and subjects she discusses are trivial and uninteresting


So I always cop a deaf'un
As a result, I usually pretend to not hear her properly


(Well ya comin' darlin'?
Asking and urging her to come closer to me


Ey?
A phrase used to check if someone is listening or paying attention


That's what they say, too much makes ya deaf
It is commonly believed that the overconsumption of a particular substance can cause hearing damage


Well I think I'll got take the wife's tights off
I have decided to remove my spouse's stockings


They're making my legs itch!
I am experiencing discomfort due to the stockings she is wearing




Writer(s): Alex Hughes, Ted Lemon

Contributed by Savannah D. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

@user-is7ri3ic4r

This music was banned from the radio when I was a young lady brilliant

@jahmanriddims7626

As a teen, I was listening to my new Judge Dread vinyl, Quietly in my bedroom. My Mum was listening at the door & I expected to get an earful. But much to my surprise, she laughed & commented, "he reminds me of Max Miller to music". Bless her, she wanted to hear more of his songs & actually got me to record The Judge on cassette for her. Great memories, God bless you Mum, & Alex Hughes. Rip

@jehugo66

Bless your Mom!

@jogale6132

My dad used to play these when I was a kid. They’re so much fun. Shame they’re not so well known

@bellman8041

Brings me right back to when I was a teen, big up the Judge.

@siobhonphillips2295

OMG you just whisked me back to my childhood in the 70's, Thank you! :-D <3

@stuartblack1364

Being a rude boy and having this at the same time you couldn't get any better.

@scarahdee69

This was one of my kids favourite songs 🤣

@jamieswain7290

Fucking love these tunes skinheads forever

@_rac.hel_

This is legendary!!

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