Baker's stark and soulful music is said to evoke names like Bon Iver, Daughter, and Natalie Prass. Her first album, Sprained Ankle, was released in 2015, followed by the 2017 release of Turn Out The Lights. Her third album, Little Oblivions, was released in 2021.
Baker honed her music skills while playing in her high school band, Forrister, with whom she continued to perform while attending college. After writing a batch of songs that didn't seem to fit the group's more rock-oriented vibe, Baker headed to Matthew E. White's Spacebomb Studios in Richmond, Virginia to begin recording what would eventually become her solo debut, 2015's Sprained Ankle. Originally released by Smith 7 in 2014, it was reissued by 6131 Records in 2015, it reached number 23 on the Billboard Heatseekers Albums chart and led to an invitation to join the Matador Records roster. With a more expansive sound and equally intimate lyrics, the self-produced follow-up, 2017's Turn Out the Lights, was recorded at Ardent Studios in Memphis. It landed on the Billboard 200, peaking at number 78.
She then joined fellow indie singer/songwriters Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus in the trio Boygenius. Together they issued their eponymous EP in late 2018, also on Matador. Bridgers and Dacus appear on the track, "Favor," from Baker's third solo set, 2021's Little Oblivions that was self-produced and recorded in Memphis.
In 2023, boygenius announced their reformation and their upcoming debut album, ‘the record,’ which Baker and the band wrote and co-produced.
Go Home
Julien Baker Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I go out and forget to tell any of my friends where I'm going
I'm drunk on the side of a road in a ditch when you find me
I wanna go home, I'm sick
There's there's more whisky than blood in my veins
More tar than air in my lungs
The strung out call I make
Burned out at the edge of the highway
I quit talking again
I know you're still listening
I see you fell asleep
It pierced my skin
Needles to the worn out wrecks
The folds in my arms are sticking in blood
And I haven't been taking my meds
Lock all the cabinets, send me to bed
Because I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared
Because I'm alone again and I don't like the things I see
And I haven't been taking my meds
So lock all the cabinets send me to bed
Because I know you're still worried
I'm gonna get scared again
And make my insides clean with the kitchen bleach
I've kissed enough bathroom sink
To make up for the lovers that never loved me
And I know that my body is just dirty cloths
I'm tired of washing my hands and I wanna go home
In Julien Baker's song "Go Home," the singer addresses feelings of isolation, addiction, and a lack of control over her life. The lyrics depict a sense of being lost and out of place, both physically and emotionally. Baker describes a scenario where she goes out walking, forgetting to tell anyone where she's going, and ends up drinking on the side of the road where she ultimately wants to go home because she's sick. The imagery she uses to describe her state of being is jarring, with references to having "more whisky than blood in my veins" and "more tar than air in my lungs."
As the song continues, Baker admits to feeling disconnected from those around her, even though she knows "you're still listening." She speaks of not taking her medications and the physical toll it takes on her body, describing "needles to the worn out wrecks" and "the folds in my arms are sticking in blood." She interrupts this narrative to ask for help, pleading with someone to lock up the cabinets and send her to bed for her own safety. She expresses a desire to feel clean and free from the pain she's been carrying, admitting she's "tired of washing my hands."
Overall, "Go Home" is a poignant exploration of the depths of addiction and the complexity of emotions that come with it. It's a vulnerable and honest portrayal of what it's like to struggle with mental health issues and seek help, even if it means admitting weakness and reliance on others.
Line by Line Meaning
I've been walking again
I'm aimlessly wandering and avoiding my problems
I go out and forget to tell any of my friends where I'm going
I'm isolating myself and not seeking support
I'm drunk on the side of a road in a ditch when you find me
I'm at rock bottom and in need of help
I wanna go home, I'm sick
I want to escape from my current situation because I'm mentally and physically unwell
There's there's more whisky than blood in my veins
Alcohol is consuming my life
More tar than air in my lungs
My unhealthy coping mechanisms are suffocating me
The strung out call I make
I'm reaching out for help in desperation
Burned out at the edge of the highway
I'm at the end of my rope
I'm sorry for asking but please come take me home
I'm vulnerable and in need of someone to rescue me
I quit talking again
I'm shutting down emotionally and not communicating
I know you're still listening
I need someone to hear me despite my silence
I see you fell asleep
I'm envious of the comfort and stability you have that I lack
It pierced my skin
I'm hurting mentally and emotionally
Needles to the worn out wrecks
My past experiences have damaged me irreparably
The folds in my arms are sticking in blood
I'm self-harming as a coping mechanism
And I haven't been taking my meds
I'm not managing my mental health successfully
Lock all the cabinets, send me to bed
I need to be monitored and controlled to avoid self-destructive behavior
Because I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared
I'm afraid and need reassurance from someone I trust
Because I'm alone again and I don't like the things I see
I feel isolated and overwhelmed by my thoughts and feelings
And make my insides clean with the kitchen bleach
I'll try anything to numb my pain, even if it's harmful to me
I’ve kissed enough bathroom sink
I've hit rock bottom and done things I'm not proud of
To make up for the lovers that never loved me
I'm trying to fill a void left by those who have hurt me in the past
And I know that my body is just dirty cloths
I feel worthless and ashamed of myself
I’m tired of washing my hands and I wanna go home
I'm exhausted from trying to fix my problems alone and just want to escape
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@ginger3661
I went walking again
I'll go out and forget to tell any of my friends where I'm going
I'm just drunk on the side of the road in a ditch
When you find me; I wanna go home, I'm sick
There's more whiskey than blood in my veins
More tar than air in my lungs
The strung out call I make
Burned down on the edge of the highway
"I'm sorry for asking, but please, come take me home"
I quit talking again
But I know you're still listening
To see if I sleep or I pierce my skin
Needles to the worn out rags
The folds in my arms, the sickening black
And I haven't been taking my meds
Lock all the cabinets, send me to bed
'Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared
'Cause I'm alone again and I don't like the things I see
And I haven't been taking my meds
So lock all the cabinets and send me to bed
'Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared again
And make my insides clean with your kitchen bleach
But I've kissed enough bathroom sinks
To make up for the lovers that never loved me
And I know my body is just dirty clothes
I'm tired of washing my hands, God, I wanna go home
@mikewurst8847
I went walking again
I'll go out and forget to tell any of my friends where I'm going
I'm just drunk on the side of the road in a ditch when you find me –
I wanna go home, but I'm sick
There's more whiskey than blood in my veins
More tar than air in my lungs
The strung out call I make
Burned down on the edge of the highway
"I'm sorry for asking, but please, come take me home"
I quit talking again
But I know you're still listening to see if I sleep or I pierce my skin
Needles to the worn out rags
The folds in my arms, the sickening black
And I haven't been taking my meds
Lock all the cabinets, send me to bed
Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared
Cause I'm alone again and I don't like the things I see
And I haven't been taking my meds
So lock all the cabinets, and send me to bed
Cause I know you're still worried I'm gonna get scared again
And make my insides clean with your kitchen bleach
But I've kissed enough bathroom sinks to make up for the lovers that never loved me
And I know my body is just dirty clothes;
I'm tired of washing my hands
God, I wanna go home
@MrSeanMDolan
I put together the music for my brother’s funeral and I put this as the final song that was played in the service.
I’ve avoided listening to it since 2018 because every time I listen to it I cried. Tonight I listen to it in honour of my brother, who suffered from manic depression and some substance abuse issues. He also was not taking his meds, he said they made him feel like a zombie.
He was the best Big Brother because he loved me unconditionally. Rest in peace Yulian.
@jakemcgrath9708
Hi Sean. I’ve had several friends leave this world by their own means. They loved us and we’ll respect them by doing what we do
@pokerbaby808
Your brother still loves you always
@JackoRipper
Damn... Just discovered Julien today. I got goosebumps and heavy heart. That voice. That presence. So much talent here. Cheers from France.
@SaltyQuacker_
You should look for (The UnLocked Sessions: Julien Baker - "Vessels") on here, it's another really good one
@ChaoticHippo
At 3:28 she looks like she's physically hit by her own lyrics. A blessing and curse to be able to put your own feelings into words the way she does.
@Mitch-uj2yc
Definitely picked up on that…. She’s holding back tears at the end
@chrispaul7849
AMEN!
@wrencrandall1437
“But I’ve kissed enough bathroom sinks to make up for the lovers that never loved me...” god damn that’s beautiful. Thank you SO much Julien. Your a blessing. :) I’m praying for you to find happiness.
@boleros013
"You're"